u/IRLbeets

I'm just dipping my toe back into reading. I was a big fantasy reader as a kid (Dragons of Pern, various Merlin stories, Tamora Pierce is what I remember as well as other YA) but haven't read much in adulthood.

I'm reading Paladin's Grace by T. Kingfisher and I'm enjoying the adult (30+ aged characters) and the romance, but I'd love something with a bit more plot in between romantic beats or even with more separation between the love interests. Like where the romance is the B plot.

I like books where the characters seem to have a full life outside of each other and we get to see that side, vs where we just get to see the bits that have to do with the main romance.

For this reason I'm thinking more fantasy​ books vs romantasy may be more what I'm looking for? But I'm open to suggestions! Not against smut or romance being a significant plot point. Prefer female main character, don't care about sexual orientation though.

I have a vivoactive 4s and I'm mostly interested in upgrading for the various health insights​ insights that come with the newer models. I have some non heart related health issues.

Do care about:

• H.R.V
• Sleep score
• Being able to track calories​ burned and time ​in lifting, running, and various fitness classes
• Flashlight, I love the screen flashlight option on my VA​
• Smaller watch head and profile preferred, I have small wrists
• Accuracy is nice, but I imagine most would be an improvement from VA4 which has been fine for me
• I like that my VA4 is easily viewable in the sun without a backlight

Do not care about:

• Detailed running/fitness info​
• Smartwatch features (speaker, texting, notifications; ​ideally I'd have a dumb watch just with health stats lol)
• Training load stuff related to running​

Am ambivalent about:

• Skin temperature
• ECG
• Altimeter - I do hike sometimes but not seriously, I do like seeing my stair stats but not sure if other measures still capture stairs
• If there are lifting related training type measures​

Which watch would you suggest for "best fit"? I was debating the Forerunner 165 but it doesn't have skin temp (which may be fine) or the Venu 3 but it seems really bulky.

Just wondering if anyone has ever looked into this or even gotten a frenectomy? Or maybe just did the related exercises?

I believe I have a bit of a tongue tie, maybe 50% or a bit more. I can't touch the outer edge of my lips for example, only the inner edge. If I open my mouth comfortably big I can't touch the roof of my mouth.

When I get migraines I also get more ​tightness and have difficulty enunciating.

They're chronic and Botox has only somewhat helped the intensity, not so much frequency (1 year). At this point I'm trying to check off all contributing factors before trying out the CGRPs as it's a huge hassle to change medications with my insurance. Physio for neck pain, lifestyle stuff like consistent sleep and food, lifting, not overusing medication, reducing exposure to triggers... Wondering if I should add this to my list and see if there are any specialists in my area.

Thanks in advance!

I got a wedding dress with family and friends present. Trying it on after alterations, I just don't feel like myself in a wedding dress. It's 2 weeks to the wedding. ​I'm a bit more masculine in my daily clothes ​and trying on the dress again now I just feel really not myself. It's a great dress. I objectively look fine. But I feel like I'm wearing my mother's clothes. It's bringing up some gender dysphoria too which I wasn't expecting, since I'm generally read as a woman despite wearing more masculine clothes.

My original plan was a linen two piece and a casual wedding, but I went dress ​shopping in a city 5 hours away ​with family (my mom's dream has always been to go dress shopping together) and my best friends and I ​ended up saying yes. In hindsight, I think I was feeling really caught​ up with how happy everyone was ​and I lost my original vision. And my family member paid for the dress which was really kind after such a wonderful day. But, since it was only one day I felt like I needed to make a decision right then.

I have a linen two piece and dress coming in the mail. I'm hoping one of them will fit well and I might be able to do a last minute swap. But the shipping has been slow so I'm worried they may not come in time.

I think everyone would understand if I did swap - I'm lucky to have a good family and empathetic friends. But I just feel yucky about the waste, about the money that​ didn't need to be spent (particularly when me and my partner are struggling a bit financially), and about not sticking to my vision which felt more me.

(My partner will listen to my gripes, but is happy with whatever I do and will support me regardless.)

I guess I'm looking for advice about how to make the most of it or how to suck it up? Particularly appreciated from anyone queer, but I'd love any advice at this point!

I've been lifting for years (casually) ​but neglecting cardio. I have an indoor bike that's apparently quite good (it's my partner's) and I've got some new running shoes.

I'm not looking to race or compete. This is purely for general health and wellness, meet my Garmin intensity minutes, a​nd maybe to improve my lifts.

Note I don't have access to a gym, so I'm not looking for 3rd options at this time like erg machines, treadmills, ​or swimming.

What do you prefer of these two? Is there one you've found more effective? One you've enjoyed more? One you've found had less negative impact on your lifts? One that has caused less joint pain?

I've been looking for linen summer clothes and have found a few shops based out of Vietnam (and India) ​who state they do custom designs and customer tailoring with premade designs.

My partner was saying they just have access to ​ sweatshops, but some of them are posing as small family or local businesses.

Anyone have advice or information on the ethics of these types of businesses?

Ex. AvielleAtelierCo on Etsy ​but there are a bunch of them. Vaguely AI photos or at least it seems unrealistic they have such variety of models and backgrounds. Some seem to have real photos. Some are obviously photoshopped onto a different background. Reverse search doesnt have​ anything show up even though there are a few stores using similar pictures. ​Lots of cool items, colors, and offer of tailoring. Pricing is ranging from quite high priced to being in line with H&M.

I have a positive but somewhat distant relationship from my parents. I've always been emotionally ​closer to my dad though but talk more with my mom as she's quite pushy whereas my dad tries to keep a respectful distance (they are married, my mom has a brain injury so boundary setting takes a few tries with her).

My fiancé and I are planning a pretty non traditional wedding but my mom keeps trying to push things more traditional. Most recently, walking down a non-existent aisle.

Despite having been somewhat open with my parents about not wanting a traditional wedding when we first started planning this relatively last minute wedding, my mom is saying that my dad may be very hurt and disappointed that he won't be able to *​walk me down the aisle. This is breaking my heart because I didn't know it was important to him, and also I feel like I'd been clear that we're not being interested in any traditions and having as quick of a ceremony as possible.

But, my mom's een pretty pushy so I feel like she's been convincing him that it would likely happen anyway.

Now I'm at an awkward spot where I'm angry at my mom for continuing to push for things we've consistently said we didn't want. And also, my dad wasn't part of these conversations necessarily so this may be the first time since the first time we mentioned we just want a casual situation. I love my dad, he's very supportive, and he can be quite sensitive about these things (he's never let me know, but he's be the sort to be sad ​about It privately which breaks my heart).

Im talking to my parents on the phone tomorrow so I plan to reinforce that I don't want to be walked down the aisle​ and some other things my mom has been pushing. But I just need some strength to disappoint ​my very loving but passive dad. I can deal with my mom, but my dad has always been so supportive of me so I am so sad to disappoint him in this way.

I don't even know if my mom is telling the truth or if she's just using the disappointment to try and manipulate me, but my dad likely wouldn't say if he was hurt because he just wants me to be happy. So, I know ultimately he will accept it even if he is hurt which is even more sad to me!

- i should add, being walked down the aisle isn't the specific thing, but I think it's a more relatable substitute, the actual example is a bit more of a niche ​family tradition but along the same lines as being walked down the aisle or father daughter dance​.

TL;DR: Possibly have to give my loving dad some bad news about my wedding re. not doing a family tradition. I'm sad because this is the only thing he's maybe wanted to do, but I just can't allow it. As someone who's not used to disappointing my favorite parent because he never asks for anything from me, how do I keep my boundary?

Not sure if this exists!

I'm relatively into fitness, but pretty casually. If it can track my runs with some basic stats and lifting then I'm happy.

I don't need any smartwatch features, I don't use them, ex. tap to pay, texts, calls, etc. I just use the watch and sometimes use the screen as a flashlight​. Watch is probably preferred​, as it's unsafe to wear a ring with barbells.

My key interest is recovery metrics and the ability to see impact of different lifestyle factors on recovery and stress. Ex. Sleep, HRV, HR, and then maybe the ability to adjust my own daily tags like migraine, alcohol, etc. Menstruation tracking would also be great. I think oura and whoop possibly have this, but only as a part of ongoing subscriptions which I'm not interested in.

I also have some chronic health issues, so while my main focus is fitness, it would also be very cool to be able to use the device to monitor impact of lifestyle on that, though I do have a dedicated app for that purpose.

I'm not sure if this is allowed, just delete if not!

I've noticed a huge rise in posts made by bots or similar. I've also noticed a bit of a theme and pattern to the posts in fashion related subreddits so I thought it might be useful to ​share how we spot ​them!

They often start with some sort of​ leading ​statement, they don't just jump right into it.

• not trying to be mean about this...
• I can't be the only one who...[statement that doesn't actually connect to their main topic]
• I must be ​the only one who...

They then describe a very normal situation

• someone having difficult using capsule rules
• someone not being able to keep track of their clothes
• or a fashion observation

But they almost always add some sort of controversial layer even though it's a perfectly normal sentiment. I find this is a common tone throughout.

• the "not trying to be mean" from above
• description of how they modified it to make capsules ​work but in a way that feels like you're being sold a product
• they'll present the idea as if it's totally new and just came to them, but it's either a super common topic on this subreddit (ex. wardrobe apps) or something that seems made up (fashion rules, something that works for them)

Also they are sort of disjointed in a way that's hard to explain. It just feels a bit alien to me, but I'm sure there's a more concrete way to describe it​

• it may be a weird disjointed thing to post about (like there was just a post about wedding guest dresses, but just gave 3 key words for what to look out for rather than actually detailing any ​analysis around it). The topic is normal, but the way of speaking about it seems like someone who's never done life before
• often formal sort of factual tone, but casually written

Fully understand if this is too meta, but I figured it could be a helpful conversation for people who are less aware of "bots" and just to spread awareness that many posts these days are unfortunately not real. Or at least are heavily created using "bots".

Plus these aren't random posts, t​hey're often massively upvoted. I'd love to hear how others spot "bots" in this subreddit!

That being said, the mods do an amazing job, usually by the time I go to report them they're already down!

ETA: Formatting​