u/Important_Piece1124

I am finally in full control of how I look and what I wear. Recently, the goth subculture has been drawing me in, and I'm considering going goth. I love the music, and have the majority of the values of the subculture.

However, I'm in a bit of a conundrum: I really like floral decor, or I'm at least trying it out, but I also love gothic styles, music, and beliefs. Would I be a poser if I went goth? Am I even allowed to if I like floral and whimsy decor? Ik whimsigoth isn't a real thing - at least according to a bunch of comments on a reddit post I saw about it.

Is there another branch of alt that might fit more? I'm super new to all of this, having been in military orgs for half a decade with no choice on what to wear or how to style myself. Tysm for opinions and advice!

I (19f) used to be part of a military org (I left bc of my health) during my first year at college. There was this Army Specialist, let's call him Randy (obv not his real name). He seemed alright at first, just another guy, but as the semester wore on, his true colors began to show. He started making "jokes" (read: threats) about raping other people (thankfully never me) in the unit.

I hated these threats, as any reasonable person would. But the other guys--even the girls--in the unit thought there was nothing wrong and that they were hilarious. Adding on to my reason for hating them, I was SA'd when I was 17 by an older male. I would have panic attacks bc of these threats, bc of the severe PTSD and panic disorder caused by my SA.

Long story short, I told a very high up person without meaning to (I can provide further details if needed) during a panic attack caused by it. He got in "trouble" (only on paper, nothing actually happened), and everyone in the unit was mad at me.

I keep hearing people all over campus making that "joke", even my bf has a couple times, knowing what happened to me. It wasn't directed towards me, to be clear, he's a great guy and would never hurt me.

I hate that "joke" so much, but I feel like a preachy sjw if I express that and how it really just perpetuates rape culture.

I (19f) have been working as a pest control technician for about a month now, and I've realized that my sports bras aren't good for the job. I know I need something breathable and comfortable, good for lots of moving, and that--for heaven's sake--won't roll up when I lean over.

My weight fluctuates by about 10-15 pounds with some frequency, so stretchy or adjustable would be nice, but not required.

I don't care about color or style, but if price could be mentioned, that would be great.

Thank you so much!!

I've been working pest control on the east coast for about a month now, and as time has gone on, more and more of those Japanese beetles have been swarming me and my truck. I'm confused as to why; we use Ecovia MT, which is supposed to repel insects. I've even fogged my truck with it and Tekko Pro, and they got worse. I also have Bifen and Onslaught Fastcap on my truck that I've hit them with.

Something odd is that they'll land on my truck's toolboxes, and get pulled upside down, stay there for a bit, eventually roll over, and then fly away...only to come back at me or my vehicle.

If it matters, I don't wear perfume and my deodorant was coconut, but it's a crazy faint scent. I also started using men's deodorant today, with a "clean laundry" scent, and it's just as bad.

Does anyone know why they might be swarming me/my truck? And how to stop it?

I (f18) got discord in 2024, and have been using it with zero app-related issues until a couple weeks ago. A couple hours after calling with my bf, I try to get back on, and can't log on at all. I can't reset my password since my passkey got deleted (I'd been using it just fine to log in since I got my account). No password I have saved has worked.

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I submitted a ticket, and the answer I got was "yeah, we can't do anything, we can delete your account though." Didn't listen to anything I had to say at all, even though I could prove I was the owner of the account. The person suggested I use my email for MFA, and conveniently didn't acknowledge when I said that I was never given an option for that.

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Honestly, if it weren't for the fact that I'm doing DBT by writing a book about a person I met on there (whole big thing with PTSD), I would be fine starting over with a new acct. But I literally need his to recover from a severe mental disorder.

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Support didn't give two shits and didn't try at all. Am I just screwed? Or can I get my acct back?

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I've got the latest version of discord and am on an android if that matters.

I [18f] have been with my bf [19m] for 9 months. We met in college and have had a wonderful relationship for the majority of the time. However, since summer break, he's become distant, and in sudden and dire need of space, to the point where he barely wants to speak to me. I tried telling him that I felt neglected, and he said that the one time he asked me to meet his needs (I've got a lot of mental health struggles, which have improved exponentially since starting therapy a few weeks before meeting him, so for a while it was difficult for him and us), I refused. I don't know if this is my rsd from my ADHD and my abandonment issues, but it feels like a stab to the gut.

He's been putting anything related to gaming over me. Planned time together? Suddenly his time with the boys gaming went on for hours longer than it was supposed to. A text from me in the middle of the day being ignored for hours? The game. Any time we do spend together? He's gaming. (Important note: we are temporarily long-distance, just until August).

I didn't say anything for the first week or so, since I was also busy. Then I began asking if we could spend more time together (we called once or twice a week, when our norm was daily), and he gave a half-hearted yes. The time never came, and I told him I felt neglected. Several fights over the following weeks culminated in him wanting a pseudo-break where we barely text, I don't show affection much, and we don't call at all.

I'm not sure what more space he needs. We barely talk during the day, and atp, I'm lucky to speak to him at all in the evenings. Forget any flirting or affection, he threw that out at the same time. I'm barely in his life at all now.

I'm not taking it well, and I'm trying to do this for him, but it is physically painful. The worst part? He sent this a week ago (the only alterations are names):

I… you said not to bother texting or apologizing, but I’m not just going to sit here and do nothing but play my game. That’d be wrong on every single level imaginable, and I can’t allow myself to do that. You’ve been amazing, OP, and I mean it. You’ve been so patient, so understanding, and I’m sorry that I’ve been treating you like this. You deserve so, so much better than any kind of way I’ve acted towards you since summer break started. It’s a lesson I’ve been learning and relearning and relearning again: you’re always right, and you are right when you say that I’ve been neglecting you. To state the obvious, it got really bad tonight as it all came to a head, and I’m sorry for that, hon. I know it’s not worth much, if anything at all, but please, just let me say that I’m sorry. I switched up on you so quickly, and I didn’t communicate well at all. I’ve been a terrible bf for the last few weeks, and you don’t have to white lie to make me feel better. I know, I’be been a terrible bf, and you deserve better. I swear to you OP, if it’s the last thing I do, I’m not going to just throw this relationship away. I’m sorry I hurt you so much tonight, I’m sorry I just ripped away at you and made you feel thrown to the side, and I’m so, so freaking sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You can be mad at me, rip apart this text, ignore this text, whatever you want to do, just know that I’m still going to love you, and that’s an ironclad promise from the deepest, most emotional depths of my heart where all logic is defied. Hecc, I’m defying logic rn, writing you this text. I know you’re probably going to either rip it apart or ignore it, and I’m ok with that. All I want is for you to be happy, and for you to know that I know that I screwed up, horribly. I’m sorry, hon, for whatever it’s worth. Even if you don’t believe this, I’m going to say it anyways because I do: I love you

Tldr: am I a bad gf for wanting to spend more time with my bf when he wants space suddenly?

I apologize if this is rambly, I've barely been sleeping bc of this and my new job, which has me working long days, six days a week.

When I (18f) attempted to meet God in July 2025, I got sent to inpatient, obviously. This was right before I went to university, but after I'd turned 18. A short bit into my first semester, I got notified of a 10k bill that I had to pay. I filled out a DD2527 to try and get my Tricare to pay for it, but it got rejected (smt went wrong with the form I sent in), and in the chaos of school and navigating severe mental health issues, it slipped my radar to address it again. I had weekly calendar reminders, and I still forgot....maybe I should get ADHD meds. I sent in the form again today, and made sure it was perfect. I also got a letter today requesting payment. I'm terrified to ask my parents about it, since they're gonna be pissed, and I'm already dealing with enough as is, but I also don't know what to do. Do I wait? Do I try to pay? I've also got crazy rent to pay, since the town my college is in has crazy rent prices - it's about 1.1k a month, total. I would barely be able to afford that and groceries with my summer job and a job there, so minimum payments ($425) would put way too much strain on my finances.

What do I do? I'm at a complete loss, and I'm terrified that it's gonna ruin my credit score. Please help, I'm scared

Edit: thank you guys for the advice! I called the hospital and Tricare today, and I've got some extra time before anything goes to collections. I got a reference number to use, so it'll go smoother. It'll all be ok, and I'm working it out now. Have a blessed day y'all!

Hi y'all! I'm being considered for a position as a pest control technician for my summer job between academics years at uni.

I've never really had a ton of freedom with looks and styles before, since I was very busy, then in a military organization. I've been experimenting a lot with looks, especially hair and clothes. I've found that I like an odd style: a sort of tomboyish cuteness? I like big boots but also cute tops and hair? Love jeans and a baggy hoodie with cute makeup?

Obviously I have to wear PPE and durable clothing, which I have no issue with. If I did, I wouldn't have applied for this position. My question is, how do I stay cute/pretty when at work? Is that feasible? Not upset if it isn't, I'm working for a living and I'm proud of that. Also have a man, so I'm not trying to look good for anyone but myself.

Are there any tips or tricks? This would be my first BC job.

Tysm!