u/Impossible_2Find_247

I am a high-performer with a massive workload that I have been entirely transparent about with my management. However, because I somehow manage to handle it all, it is never taken seriously. I am just rewarded with more work.

To make matters worse, there are absolutely no boundaries at my workplace when it comes to personal digs. It has gotten to the point where I can't safely share anything about my life with anyone there. I am a private person anyway, and honestly, my boundaries seem to bother other people more than they bother me....after all, I am just there to work.

The frustrating part....and the part that is messing with my head...is that I actually enjoy the work I do. It gives me enough of a puzzle to challenge my brain and lets me focus my mind on making things better.

Yet, here I am, feeling completely stuck, isolated, and mentally exhausted. It feels like my brain loves the puzzles, but the environment is draining my spirit. I also am completely alone in funding my life, so I don't have anyone else to lean on financially....not that I want to rely on anyone else, but that reality makes the pressure feel even more suffocating. I feel like I'm in survival mode every single day just to protect my peace. It is getting harder every single day, and I just don't know if I can do it much longer.

Has anyone else experienced this specific kind of exhaustion? How do you cope when the work itself fulfills you, but the environment is breaking you down and you have no safety net?

Fuck this fucking Monday morning light,
Everything is fucked and nothing’s right.
The fucking alarm is fucking screaming loud,
I hate this fucking, miserable cloud.

The fucking traffic is a clusterfuck,
The fucking universe has run out of luck.
This fucking workday is a piece of fuckery,
I’m fucking trapped in total misery.

The fucking workload is a mountain of shit,
I fucking hate this place, every single bit.
It’s un-fucking-believable how slow time goes,
A fuck-ton of problems from my head to my toes.

Fuck this Monday, fuck the whole damn day,
I fucking wish it would just fuck away.

The silence whispers that I have no worth,
Dropped like an object to the heavy earth.
I look at all the years we used to share,
And choke upon the sudden lack of care.
To be discarded with no final word
Makes me feel invisible, unheard.

But though you treated me like passing dust,
And broke a long-held, sacred bond of trust,
The way you walked away does not define
The value of this beating heart of mine.
You threw away a prize you couldn't keep,
And left me in the shadows here to weep.

A diamond dropped into a darkened bin
Is still a precious, gleaming thing within.
Your hands were careless, and your vision blind,
To leave a soul like mine so far behind.
I carry sadness, and I carry pain,
But your neglect cannot erase my name.

I'm wild and electric....

A fitting song for 3am-ish when it's impossible to sleep....

What if we are a hybrid project combining the Ancient Astronaut theory and the Zoo Hypothesis? They didn't just seed life here....they actively monitor us. The truth is, we have been failing for centuries, and these visits are just them watching our trajectory as we head toward self-destruction.

If we do fail this time, it won't be the first. This would explain why nearly every ancient culture.....from the Epic of Gilgamesh to the Aztec myth of the Five Suns...tells stories of the gods wiping out corrupt civilizations. Even Plato wrote that humanity is periodically reset by cataclysms, leaving us with historical amnesia.

What are the chances they are just waiting for us to fail so they can hit the restart button and trigger the next iteration of humanity all over again?

I want to be the person you choose when the room is full of options.

Not because I am convenient.
Not because I am safe.

I want to be the thought that makes you catch your breath at the idea of an empty space next to you. I want to be the presence you guard fiercely, the one name you are terrified to lose to the quiet.

I want to be your soft place to land, but also the one you hold onto the tightest.

I do not want to be a trophy or a possession. I just want to be the one your eyes look for when you enter a crowded room. I want to be the hand you reach for without thinking, simply because the thought of not having it there makes your heart ache a little.

Not to fill a void, and not because it is easy.
But because your world feels a little safer with me in it, and because you cannot bear the thought of anyone else holding what we have.

Love doesn’t need a flashing, mined stone,
Or gold to prove what is already known.
It does not ask for a heavy expense,
To give a lifelong devotion defense.

If a symbol is gathered to show what is true,
Let it be wood from the earth where we grew.
It speaks of deep roots that are anchored and strong,
Of changing seasons where we both belong.

Two unique branches that reach for the sun,
Growing side by side, yet neither undone.
Not lost in the noise of a crowded display,
But holding our peace in a quiet way.

And sweet is the circle if carved by your hand,
From the shade of the tree where we used to stand.
No status or gold could ever compete,
With the time and the patience that made it complete.

I am slipping away from your reach,
As the distance unravels our cord.
On this dark and unsearchable beach,
I surrender my shield and my sword.

You are weightless, untangling the thread
Of the orbit we used to command.
All the words that we left quite unsaid
Are now scattering like solar sand.

We are passing the gravity well,
Where our shadows first started to bend.
In this quiet, celestial cell,
I can feel where the frequencies end.

Let the vacuum inherit my voice,
Let the black hole consume what is left.
I am choosing the ghost of a choice,
Of a universe suddenly cleft.

Through the static, my signal goes cold,
As you liquefy into the stars.
We are stories that cannot be told,
Trapped behind these electromagnetic bars...