u/Impressive_Gas_2419

Me (M35) and my wife have decided to move abroad with our kids, and honestly I feel kinda shit after telling my family.

We live in a small town in southern Italy. My wife is from Northern Europe and she has really struggled here. Like, really struggled. She hasn’t managed to integrate much, she feels isolated, and I can see how much it’s been weighing on her.

And if I’m being completely honest, I’m not happy here either. I feel stuck. There’s not much for me in this town, not many opportunities, and I don’t want my kids growing up feeling like the world is smaller than it actually is.

This wasn’t a random decision. We spent almost a year thinking about it, talking about it, doubting ourselves, feeling guilty, then coming back to the same conclusion. We’re moving to a country where we already lived before, so it’s not like we’re just running away to some fantasy place. We know what life is like there, and we genuinely believe our kids will have a better future there. I also think me and my wife will be better parents if we’re not constantly unhappy and stressed.

The hard part is that my kids are my parents’ only grandchildren.

I knew telling them would be painful. I wasn’t expecting them to celebrate or anything. My dad was sad, but he tried to understand. My mom basically shut down and barely said a word. My sister got really angry and told me I’m selfish, that I don’t care about family, and that I’m taking away the only real joy my parents have.

And that hurt. A lot.

Because I get it. I really do. My parents love my kids deeply, and I know the distance will hurt them. I know they’re getting older. I know this isn’t easy.

But nobody really asked why. Nobody asked how my wife is doing. Nobody asked how I’m doing. Nobody asked what kind of future we want for our children. It immediately became about my parents’ pain, my parents’ happiness, and how guilty I should feel.

It’s like our reasons didn’t matter. Like our mental health didn’t matter. Like the life we’re trying to build for our kids is less important than keeping everyone else comfortable.

I’m not trying to cut my parents out. I’m not trying to punish anyone. We’ll visit, video call, send pictures, do everything we can to keep them involved. I want my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents.

But I also don’t think we should stay in a place that makes us unhappy just so other people don’t have to feel sad.

Still, now I feel awful. I feel selfish. I feel guilty. And part of me is angry that they made me feel this way when this decision was already hard enough.

I just needed to get this off my chest.

I [35M] and my wife have been married for several years and have children together. My wife is Northern European, and we currently live in a small town in southern Italy.

After about a year of thinking it over, we’ve decided to move abroad to a country where we lived before. This wasn’t an impulsive decision. We’ve talked about it a lot, and we both feel it’s the best choice for our family.

The main reasons are quality of life, opportunities for our kids, and our own mental/emotional well-being. I don’t feel like there is much of a future for me in this town, and my wife has really struggled to integrate here. We also don’t want our children growing up surrounded by a mindset and culture that we personally find very limiting.

The hard part is that my children are my parents’ only grandchildren.

I finally told my family. My dad was sad, but mostly understanding. My mom basically shut down and went completely silent. My sister reacted much more aggressively and told me I’m selfish, that I don’t care about family, and that I’m taking away the only real joy my parents have.

I understand why they’re upset. I wasn’t expecting them to be happy about it. But what hurts me is that nobody really asked why we’re doing this or tried to understand our situation. It immediately became about my parents’ happiness, their loss, and how guilty I should feel.

I feel torn because I do love my family, and I don’t want to hurt them. At the same time, I don’t think I should make major life decisions for my wife and kids based on my parents’ emotional dependence on seeing the grandchildren often.

How do I handle this without completely damaging my relationship with my parents and sister?

After a long year of thinking about whether or not to raise my kids in southern Italy, my wife ( who’s Northern European) and I decided that the best thing for them, and for us too, is to move abroad to a country where we lived years ago.

The only thing left to do was tell my parents. My kids are their only grandchildren, so I already had a pretty good idea of how they’d react.

My dad: sad, but understanding.

My mom: shut down into complete, grave-like silence.

My sister: went off on me, saying I’m selfish, that I don’t care about the family, that my parents only have them as grandchildren and I’m taking away the one joy they have left.

I get it. I wasn’t expecting them to jump for joy.

What really pisses me off, though, is that they didn’t even try to understand why. Maybe their son is half-depressed because there’s absolutely nothing for him in this shitty little town. Maybe his wife is doing even worse because she can’t integrate here. Maybe we want to give our kids a future, and not make them deal with the fucked-up culture people have around here.

Their happiness comes first, as always.

So, AITA for moving abroad with my kids, knowing it will hurt my parents?

Hi guys,

I am relatively new in Stockholm, I would like someone to give me some advice regarding some places to play pickleball around the city.

If you have more infos like the price/hour or the times in which they are especially crowded, I'll be grateful to hear.

Hi guys,

I am relatively new in Stockholm, I would like someone to give me some advice regarding some places to play pickleball around the city.

If you have more infos like the price/hour or the times in which they are especially crowded, I'll be grateful to hear.

Hey everyone,

This might just be me overthinking something really small, but I’ve noticed it quite a few times now.

When I’m out running (parks, streets, country roads, by the sea, pretty much anywhere) I often pass other runners. I’m the kind of person who usually does the little runner wave, or a half-smile, you know, that silent “hey” between strangers who are sweating instead of sitting on the couch.

But here’s the thing I’ve noticed:

Men almost always acknowledge it back. Sometimes just a tiny nod, but still.
Women, on the other hand, do it much less often. A lot of the time it’s just eyes straight ahead and no reaction at all.

Important disclaimer before anyone reads this the wrong way: I don’t slow down, I don’t stare, I don’t change direction, and I’m definitely not trying to start a conversation. It’s honestly just that tiny feeling of runner solidarity, like “we’re on the same team for these 30/60+ minutes of suffering, let’s go, we got this.”

So it made me wonder if maybe it comes across differently. Could a man saying hi while a woman is running alone feel like unwanted attention? Is it more of a safety thing? Or am I just massively overanalyzing a very small and probably useless sample size?

Either way, I kind of like the idea that there’s this tiny bit of mutual respect between people who run, even if it’s just a half-second nod.

How do you feel about it? Do you like the little runner “micro-hello” as a small solidarity thing, or do you prefer to just stay in your own bubble?

Hej allihopa,

jag undrar en grej som kanske bara är min egen känsla, men jag har märkt det ganska många gånger nu.

När jag är ute och springer (park, gata, landsväg, vid havet… lite överallt) så möter jag ofta andra som också springer. Jag är en sån person som brukar göra den där klassiska lilla vinkningen eller ett halvt leende, ni vet, det där tysta “hej” mellan främlingar som svettas istället för att ligga på soffan.

Det märkliga är detta:
män hälsar nästan alltid tillbaka. Ibland bara en liten nick, men ändå.
Kvinnor däremot gör det mycket mer sällan. Ofta är det bara blicken rakt fram och noll reaktion.

Viktig disclaimer innan någon missförstår: jag saktar inte ner, jag stirrar inte, jag byter inte riktning och det är inte något försök att börja prata med någon. Det är verkligen bara den där känslan av solidaritet, typ “vi är i samma lag under de här 30/60+ minuterna av lidande, kom igen vi klarar det!"

Så jag började fundera på om det kanske uppfattas annorlunda. Kan en man som hälsar medan en kvinna springer ensam kännas som ett oönskat närmande? Är det en säkerhetsgrej? Eller håller jag bara på att överanalysera ett jättelitet statistiskt urval?

Oavsett så gillar jag tanken att det finns någon slags ömsesidig respekt mellan folk som springer, även om det bara är en nick på en halv sekund.

Hur känner ni kring det? Gillar ni det där lilla mikro-hejet som en liten gest av solidaritet, eller föredrar ni att vara kvar i er egen bubbla?