Mark makes an incredible point with Stoicism being a key ingredient of the Souls' series appeal
Just thinking about how Souls is the one mainstream series that is not dead easy and doesn't have an auto win mode that people fall to and yet mainstream audiences love it anyway. I think a huge part of it is it is the one series where people are actually okay with failing, trying again and getting better. So many people could be so much better at every game by simply trying again on a boss fight instead of making sure they are put in a comfortable place where success is a given.
For difficulty and gameplay to have stakes, failure has to be nearby. Your mistakes have to be able to lead to failure; you have to have that dance.
I'm thinking of a recent playthrough I had of Metaphor Refantazio. I played on hard mode to get more out of the gameplay, which worked for the first third of the game before RPG snowballing took over. But I want to highlight my experience on what was probably the best boss fight gameplay wise, and yet the game emotionally was telling me that everything was terrible.
In Dark Souls, you get a stoic statement of fact on failure: You Died. That's it.
On the best boss fight of the game, the game wouldn't shut up about how badly I was playing it. Frequently I had party members on the brink of death or I'd be experiencing critical blows from the boss. My helper fairy would shout constantly:
"OH NOOOO! KEVIN IS POISONED!!! FUCK QUICK YOU HAVE TO HEAL HIM OH MY GOD"
"NOOOOOOO STACEY JUST DIED. OH GOD YOU HAVE TO REVIVE HER"
"BILL IS AT LOW HEATLH OH GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE. HEAL HIM PLEASE!!!!!"
Then when I lost my first battle narrowly, the music swelled to a tragic crescendo with various voices saying "nooo oh god how could be lose oh fuck this is terrible". Before I could try again the game suggested "hey want to dial down the difficulty?". All this is the game telling me that this experience is bad; this primes me to think it is bad as a player. The joke is, this is actually as good as it gets. It was great; it was a genuine tactical battle I narrowly lost, now trying again with slightly better prioritization I can finish it. So the game is injecting a negative emotion tainting the best gameplay scenario it has to offer like it is some kind of mistake.