u/Inner-Sand-1922

we are long distance. he was invited to a party last night. a guy he went to highschool with was throwing a farewell party typa thing coz hes moving to mexico, and my bf was invited. he told me about it and said he would probably drink some beer eat some pizza and chill in a corner.

anyway the party was at like 9pm and he hasn't answered my texts since like 8pm (one hour before the party) and it shows one tick which means he hasn't received them.

im just worried idk why. lately we kept fighting every day. we had one major fight like 2 weeks ago and talked it out, but we kept having problems bcoz of it ever since. he was the one to bring it up.

also he slept w people in highschool a lot, but not these recent years. as far as I know, last time he had sex was 2 years ago, with his ex before they broke up.

and a problem that he has and keeps telling me about his how horny he gets. he keeps complaining about it and treats it as something very unfortunate and unbearable. makes me feel bad bcoz we are so far away.

we are in diff countries, actually different continents. we met on insta last year. I always thought he was the loyal type but lately im just getting anxious.

he talks about how horny he gets and how sexually frustrated he is all the time. and considering how we had fights a lot these past 2 weeks, I feel like he might've hooked up from someone at the party.

coz like, he was saving to come see me and we planned everything and stuff, I gave him the name of a hotel which is pretty ok and affordable, if he only had 3k dollars put aside, he could just come and stay there for a week and we could spend so much time together

but hes unemployed and just gets money from the government. with the pills and rent and everything, it gets kinda hard. also his moms teeth broke lately and he had to pay for it. he also bought a guitar and immediately tore the strings which was basically a waste of money. and with some more extra expenses he wasted all the money he had been saving lately.

it makes me think, we havent been on good terms lately, hes having a hard time putting money aside, maybe hes getting bored or tired of me, and hes just.. gets sexually frustrated and stuff.

when at the party he mightve just said fuck it and slept with someone. theres no way I could know, and I feel like hes really impatient now. he had one chance to save some more money and come visit me but he lost the chance, and hes growing more impatient, so why would he keep staying loyal to me?

I feel so sick about this. rn its like 6am for him and I dont know where he slept, what he did. maybe his phone died and he fell asleep or something idk. but I cant shake off the feeling that he cheated on me. sorry if this sounds illogical or dumb. maybe im overreacting.

im just kinda spiraling.

we are long distance. he was invited to a party last night. a guy he went to highschool with was throwing a farewell party typa thing coz hes moving to mexico, and my bf was invited. he told me about it and said he would probably drink some beer eat some pizza and chill in a corner.

anyway the party was at like 9pm and he hasn't answered my texts since like 8pm (one hour before the party) and it shows one tick which means he hasn't received them.

im just worried idk why. lately we kept fighting every day. we had one major fight like 2 weeks ago and talked it out, but we kept having problems bcoz of it ever since. he was the one to bring it up.

also he slept w people in highschool a lot, but not these recent years. as far as I know, last time he had sex was 2 years ago, with his ex before they broke up.

and a problem that he has and keeps telling me about his how horny he gets. he keeps complaining about it and treats it as something very unfortunate and unbearable. makes me feel bad bcoz we are so far away.

we are in diff countries, actually different continents. we met on insta last year. I always thought he was the loyal type but lately im just getting anxious.

he talks about how horny he gets and how sexually frustrated he is all the time. and considering how we had fights a lot these past 2 weeks, I feel like he might've hooked up from someone at the party.

coz like, he was saving to come see me and we planned everything and stuff, I gave him the name of a hotel which is pretty ok and affordable, if he only had 3k dollars put aside, he could just come and stay there for a week and we could spend so much time together

but hes unemployed and just gets money from the government. with the pills and rent and everything, it gets kinda hard. also his moms teeth broke lately and he had to pay for it. he also bought a guitar and immediately tore the strings which was basically a waste of money. and with some more extra expenses he wasted all the money he had been saving lately.

it makes me think, we havent been on good terms lately, hes having a hard time putting money aside, maybe hes getting bored or tired of me, and hes just.. gets sexually frustrated and stuff.

when at the party he mightve just said fuck it and slept with someone. theres no way I could know, and I feel like hes really impatient now. he had one chance to save some more money and come visit me but he lost the chance, and hes growing more impatient, so why would he keep staying loyal to me?

I feel so sick about this. rn its like 6am for him and I dont know where he slept, what he did. maybe his phone died and he fell asleep or something idk. but I cant shake off the feeling that he cheated on me. sorry if this sounds illogical or dumb. maybe im overreacting.

im just kinda spiraling.

we are long distance. he was invited to a party last night. a guy he went to highschool with was throwing a farewell party typa thing coz hes moving to mexico, and my bf was invited. he told me about it and said he would probably drink some beer eat some pizza and chill in a corner.

anyway the party was at like 9pm and he hasn't answered my texts since like 8pm (one hour before the party) and it shows one tick which means he hasn't received them.

im just worried idk why. lately we kept fighting every day. we had one major fight like 2 weeks ago and talked it out, but we kept having problems bcoz of it ever since. he was the one to bring it up.

also he slept w people in highschool a lot, but not these recent years. as far as I know, last time he had sex was 2 years ago, with his ex before they broke up.

and a problem that he has and keeps telling me about his how horny he gets. he keeps complaining about it and treats it as something very unfortunate and unbearable. makes me feel bad bcoz we are so far away.

we are in diff countries, actually different continents. we met on insta last year. I always thought he was the loyal type but lately im just getting anxious.

he talks about how horny he gets and how sexually frustrated he is all the time. and considering how we had fights a lot these past 2 weeks, I feel like he might've hooked up from someone at the party.

coz like, he was saving to come see me and we planned everything and stuff, I gave him the name of a hotel which is pretty ok and affordable, if he only had 3k dollars put aside, he could just come and stay there for a week and we could spend so much time together

but hes unemployed and just gets money from the government. with the pills and rent and everything, it gets kinda hard. also his moms teeth broke lately and he had to pay for it. he also bought a guitar and immediately tore the strings which was basically a waste of money. and with some more extra expenses he wasted all the money he had been saving lately.

it makes me think, we havent been on good terms lately, hes having a hard time putting money aside, maybe hes getting bored or tired of me, and hes just.. gets sexually frustrated and stuff.

when at the party he mightve just said fuck it and slept with someone. theres no way I could know, and I feel like hes really impatient now. he had one chance to save some more money and come visit me but he lost the chance, and hes growing more impatient, so why would he keep staying loyal to me?

I feel so sick about this. rn its like 6am for him and I dont know where he slept, what he did. maybe his phone died and he fell asleep or something idk. but I cant shake off the feeling that he cheated on me. sorry if this sounds illogical or dumb. maybe im overreacting.

im just kinda spiraling.

im fkn spiralling.

he texted me all this and disappeared;

[5/5 15:19] Marcel: You dont have to

[5/5 15:19] Marcel: Dont do that

[5/5 15:21] Marcel: Why would you say that

[5/5 15:21] Marcel: You dont have to throw it all away

[5/5 15:21] Marcel: Youre not like me

[5/5 15:22] Marcel: That would be such a pointless waste

[5/5 15:23] Marcel: All you need to do is be safe

[5/5 15:24] Marcel: Otherwise im not fighting for anything

[5/5 15:24] Marcel: But I have to fight I don't have a choice

[5/5 15:24] Marcel: Dont take away what im fighting for

[5/5 15:26] Marcel: Youll find someone else to be with

[5/5 15:27] Marcel: Im saying that coz I love you

[5/5 15:28] Marcel: You saw it too

[5/5 15:29] Marcel: Theres something wrong with me that wont let me be that person for you

[5/5 15:29] Marcel: Its coz God has a different plan for me

[5/5 15:29] Marcel: Coz im willing to sacrifice myself

[5/5 15:30] Marcel: For you to be hapoy

[5/5 15:31] Marcel: Im a fighter

[5/5 15:32] Marcel: Im sorry

[5/5 15:33] Marcel: The more I try push it aside the more I go insane

[5/5 15:34] Marcel: All day I can feel it

[5/5 15:34] Marcel: Im restless coz I only wanna fight

[5/5 15:35] Marcel: Ive tried

[5/5 15:35] Marcel: I did want to be normal and be with you

[5/5 15:36] Marcel: But now I think thats not why God led me to you

[5/5 15:36] Marcel: I fell in love with you coz

[5/5 15:37] Marcel: I needed something to make me wanna fight again

[5/5 15:37] Marcel: To restore my faith

[5/5 15:37] Marcel: Coz youre so good

[5/5 15:38] Marcel: Everyone else broke my faith but you repaired it

[5/5 15:38] Marcel: But I still have a mission to do

[5/5 15:39] Marcel: Idk what it is I just know I gotta try

[5/5 15:39] Marcel: I dont know if you understand what I'm saying

[5/5 15:40] Marcel: But ill always love you

[5/5 15:40] Marcel: I have to fight evil

[5/5 15:40] Marcel: Its a real thing

[5/5 15:41] Marcel: I know that if I dont then nothing will work

[5/5 15:41] Marcel: But if I do then you'll be safer

[5/5 15:42] Marcel: I think I can save a lot of people

[5/5 15:42] Marcel: Ive always known it

[5/5 15:42] Marcel: Its who I am

[5/5 15:42] Marcel: If I dont try ill never forgive myself

[5/5 15:43] Marcel: Im sorry

[5/5 15:43] Marcel: Just let me do this

[5/5 15:44] Marcel: And dont give up on yourself

[5/5 15:44] Marcel: Be happy for me

[5/5 15:44] Marcel: You can be

[5/5 15:45] Marcel: I cant keep being a clown ive gotta step up and be who im meant to be now

[5/5 15:45] Marcel: The time is now

[5/5 15:46] Marcel: Im still with you

[5/5 15:46] Marcel: Always am

[5/5 15:47] Marcel: Dont commit suicide

I still feel so bad about this. for context, he struggles with his mental health a lot. It occasionally gets so bad to the point that he keeps saying stuff to me about wanting to off himself. this has been going on since we met (last year)

yes he is getting therapy. its been 2 months since it started and im worried that its not working. he feels strongly about whats going on in the world, in Palestine especially.

sometimes he says real weird stuff too but I wont get into detail. hearing him talk that way has harmed my mental health so badly. imagine hearing someone complain about very simple stuff like having to work a job, how life is so depressing, how palestinian kids are dying and how his previous gf fucked his life up

we will be having a very normal conversation then he will suddenly say smthn like, ah my mind is killing me. life is a prison. bla bla bla.

I always tried to be there for him and listened to him for hours. but I cant take it anymore.

a few days ago he was venting to me. he kept replying 2 mins later to every message I sent. then I walked into a boutique and i was planning to keep texting him as I tried clothes on and stuff. but the shopkeeper was so friendly and talkative and I ended up chatting with her.i totally forgot about him and we were talking for like an hour and even prankcalled each others exs and had so much fun. I totally forgot about him.

its very predictable that you're gonna say im the bad guy here. its understandable youd say that if u never been in my place. imagine someone complaining to you about everything CONSTANTLY.

I always listened to him, gave him advice, told him im always here and I will always love him, told him to seek therapy and he finally did after a year of begging him to. and itts still not working and hes using me as a hole to pour all his struggles into. whats even there to do atp.

when I left the shop and went on my phone, i see these kinda texts from him.

yea keep ignoring me. I'll go talk to someone else then. yea I dont care bout you either. nobody listens to me when I try talk. thats why I dont care im gonna do it. just forget I even existed.

then ofc I freaked out and started texting him frantically and calling him for like 10 mins. then he replies and says, idk.

then I say sorry and explain myself and he keeps saying stuff like ya. idk. bla bla bla

ya and I kept listening to him and he was just talking about his previous gf and saying how shes so ugly and so evil. even that shes a demon put into this world to torture him???

anyways, im rly getting tired of texting. so basically, I ssed some of the stuff he said abt su***de. and sent them to his friend that hes with like everyday. theyre pretty close. and I just wanted his friend to know he's struggling so that he can help. we are long distance btw so I rly needed someone close to him to know abt it. wanted to put some off the burden im carrying to sb else.

his friend told him abt the screenshots, even tho i asked him not to. then he just went crazy and texted me, we're done goodbye.

and he was treating me as if I cheated on him with his friend and i was disloyal.

I literally hit up his friend just to ensure his safety. why would I text him otherwise?? im getting so tired of him

we made up but im thinking of blocking him forever.

whwt todo??

I still feel so bad about this. for context, he struggles with his mental health a lot. It occasionally gets so bad to the point that he keeps saying stuff to me about wanting to off himself. this has been going on since we met (last year)

yes he is getting therapy. its been 2 months since it started and im worried that its not working. he feels strongly about whats going on in the world, in Palestine especially.

sometimes he says real weird stuff too but I wont get into detail. hearing him talk that way has harmed my mental health so badly. imagine hearing someone complain about very simple stuff like having to work a job, how life is so depressing, how palestinian kids are dying and how his previous gf fucked his life up

we will be having a very normal conversation then he will suddenly say smthn like, ah my mind is killing me. life is a prison. bla bla bla.

I always tried to be there for him and listened to him for hours. but I cant take it anymore.

a few days ago he was venting to me. he kept replying 2 mins later to every message I sent. then I walked into a boutique and i was planning to keep texting him as I tried clothes on and stuff. but the shopkeeper was so friendly and talkative and I ended up chatting with her.i totally forgot about him and we were talking for like an hour and even prankcalled each others exs and had so much fun. I totally forgot about him.

its very predictable that you're gonna say im the bad guy here. its understandable youd say that if u never been in my place. imagine someone complaining to you about everything CONSTANTLY.

I always listened to him, gave him advice, told him im always here and I will always love him, told him to seek therapy and he finally did after a year of begging him to. and itts still not working and hes using me as a hole to pour all his struggles into. whats even there to do atp.

when I left the shop and went on my phone, i see these kinda texts from him.

yea keep ignoring me. I'll go talk to someone else then. yea I dont care bout you either. nobody listens to me when I try talk. thats why I dont care im gonna do it. just forget I even existed.

then ofc I freaked out and started texting him frantically and calling him for like 10 mins. then he replies and says, idk.

then I say sorry and explain myself and he keeps saying stuff like ya. idk. bla bla bla

ya and I kept listening to him and he was just talking about his previous gf and saying how shes so ugly and so evil. even that shes a demon put into this world to torture him???

anyways, im rly getting tired of texting. so basically, I ssed some of the stuff he said abt su***de. and sent them to his friend that hes with like everyday. theyre pretty close. and I just wanted his friend to know he's struggling so that he can help. we are long distance btw so I rly needed someone close to him to know abt it. wanted to put some off the burden im carrying to sb else.

his friend told him abt the screenshots, even tho i asked him not to. then he just went crazy and texted me, we're done goodbye.

and he was treating me as if I cheated on him with his friend and i was disloyal.

I literally hit up his friend just to ensure his safety. why would I text him otherwise?? im getting so tired of him

we made up but im thinking of blocking him forever.

whwt todo??

I still feel so bad about this. for context, he struggles with his mental health a lot. It occasionally gets so bad to the point that he keeps saying stuff to me about wanting to off himself. this has been going on since we met (last year)

yes he is getting therapy. its been 2 months since it started and im worried that its not working. he feels strongly about whats going on in the world, in Palestine especially.

sometimes he says real weird stuff too but I wont get into detail. hearing him talk that way has harmed my mental health so badly. imagine hearing someone complain about very simple stuff like having to work a job, how life is so depressing, how palestinian kids are dying and how his previous gf fucked his life up

we will be having a very normal conversation then he will suddenly say smthn like, ah my mind is killing me. life is a prison. bla bla bla.

I always tried to be there for him and listened to him for hours. but I cant take it anymore.

a few days ago he was venting to me. he kept replying 2 mins later to every message I sent. then I walked into a boutique and i was planning to keep texting him as I tried clothes on and stuff. but the shopkeeper was so friendly and talkative and I ended up chatting with her.i totally forgot about him and we were talking for like an hour and even prankcalled each others exs and had so much fun. I totally forgot about him.

its very predictable that you're gonna say im the bad guy here. its understandable youd say that if u never been in my place. imagine someone complaining to you about everything CONSTANTLY.

I always listened to him, gave him advice, told him im always here and I will always love him, told him to seek therapy and he finally did after a year of begging him to. and itts still not working and hes using me as a hole to pour all his struggles into. whats even there to do atp.

when I left the shop and went on my phone, i see these kinda texts from him.

yea keep ignoring me. I'll go talk to someone else then. yea I dont care bout you either. nobody listens to me when I try talk. thats why I dont care im gonna do it. just forget I even existed.

then ofc I freaked out and started texting him frantically and calling him for like 10 mins. then he replies and says, idk.

then I say sorry and explain myself and he keeps saying stuff like ya. idk. bla bla bla

ya and I kept listening to him and he was just talking about his previous gf and saying how shes so ugly and so evil. even that shes a demon put into this world to torture him???

anyways, im rly getting tired of texting. so basically, I ssed some of the stuff he said abt su***de. and sent them to his friend that hes with like everyday. theyre pretty close. and I just wanted his friend to know he's struggling so that he can help. we are long distance btw so I rly needed someone close to him to know abt it. wanted to put some off the burden im carrying to sb else.

his friend told him abt the screenshots, even tho i asked him not to. then he just went crazy and texted me, we're done goodbye.

and he was treating me as if I cheated on him with his friend and i was disloyal.

I literally hit up his friend just to ensure his safety. why would I text him otherwise?? im getting so tired of him

we made up but im thinking of blocking him forever.

whwt todo??