u/Inside-Telephone-423

I've been trying to get hired as a broadcast engineer, i get the interviews which are easy and I have experience from non public stations as a VTR operator plus cam op, TD freelance for small venues and working as a live stream operator. I mostly stagehand nowadays, its not enough as its all gig based. I don't know who else would hire me as even temp agencies don't know what to do with me or even understand what I do, they just see the word production and ask what type of factory have I worked in? Lol. Honestly I dont expect much from this sub just looking where I could possibly fit in for leads, this last month I worked only 2 weeks.

Edit: what temp agencies could help? I have a bachelor's in my field.

I will be taking it for the first time, i did ok on the levels exams but dont feel too confident. What should I study for a better visual on exam? Any other general advice?

Since i was i boy I have suffered along with the rest of my family our narcissistic fathers rage and abuse. To make a long story short my parents divorced and I cut all contact with father. Ever since the divorce started my mother has been adopting behaviors of my father. I dont know if its who she is and I never knew or if the divorce affected her, because everyone even me are affected in the family from the old man. I would say from childhood we had a good relationship but now as an adult I dont miss her and avoid her. When I came back after my college graduation she would belittle me saying im embarrassing her because I have a college degree and work a blue collar job ( I had no money to move out, I moved to a big city where I now work setting up concerts, theatre, and sports), i was lonely, broke, have always suffered in my romantic relationships, insecure due to father, and thought I would never make it where I did today. I told her one day I wasn't happy, she looked at me irritated almost like cringing as if i disrespected her saying " you dont have to ruin my day with that" today she asks why I never call her back just atleast to tell her about my day, when i reminded her, she asks " why aren't you happy you have everything?" She used to get on my case everyday texting that my job is probably not a good job, when I told her multiple times im saving up to move to a state with opportunities not live with you. She has multiple times invited her sister to the living room so she can bring me in to argue about whatever. She has told me multiple times "when you leave never call me back" I now never call her back. When I gained over 50 pounds from depression in 1 year she waived it off saying "you are now 26 yrs old, your getting older now, what do you think you will have the body of a teenager?" And have my aunt back her up. Yesterday she left some text messages like

"I hope that one day you forgive me, if I hurt you."

Or

I do make mistakes

But that doesn't mean I won't tell you when you're wrong, too"

Or

"When you're feeling better and want to talk, I'll always be here no matter how much time passes. I can't stop reaching out to you, and I'll do whatever it takes so that one day you'll let me be close to you. I love you, and I hope your heart heals someday. I'm sorry for everything. ❤️"

Its very exhausting to tell her why I don't want to talk to her and that last message is what she sent. Out of rage I texted "hell no" when asked can she get close to help me. Even if im wrong its what I feel. I just dont understand why I never experienced this with her as a kid but do as an adult. How do I bring this up to my therapist in a simple way?

And how do you save it? Like when something goes wrong what is it that saves it and how?

I have been struggling to break in since I graduated in the market with no experience in 2023. I setup alot for live events as a stagehand and freelance for smaller sports venues as cam op or live stream technician. I was a VTR operator as well for my university's station, have my dante level 1 cert, working on the level 2 and net gear st 2110 cert. What should I expect on the interview? Its my first major interview thats not a gig, so im really excited but would appreciate any advice for preparation.

Side note where do I go for salary expectations? Like research? Money wise what should I expect if im breaking in? This full-time position is important stability for me, and yes i know everyone says its not enough but i don't get ENOUGH WORK, so either way its way more stable for me.

I have been struggling to break in since I graduated in the market with no experience in 2023. I setup alot for live events as a stagehand and freelance for smaller sports venues as cam op or live stream technician. I was a VTR operator as well for my university's station, have my dante level 1 cert, working on the level 2 and net gear st 2110 cert. What should I expect on the interview? Its my first major interview thats not a gig, so im really excited but would appreciate any advice for preparation. Also any advice on figuring out salary range? I have no experience negotiating salary.