u/Inside_Panic_6218

We’ve been together for 11 years and have 3 children. We are not married but have lived as such, which I honestly feel stupid for.

My partner got a new really good job 2 years ago.

We were on vacation with family 2 weeks ago and everyone was talking about benefits and such from jobs. My partner then said he has a large life insurance policy but he made his beneficiary as our son (the middle child who is 8 btw) then went on to say the reason he didn’t put me down is because he had faith I would be fine supporting myself and the kids and didn’t trust me with his “death money”

I got super offended, I also did NOT know this so I was also very caught off guard. He never even spoke to me about this prior at all.

I said “what if something happened to you while our children were small and under my care?” He said “I would make sure the money couldn’t be accessed until he was 18” then my next series of questions were “WHAT ABOUT HIS BROTHER AND SISTER?”

I kept quiet after that, but I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed with feelings about this. I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake with this man, and it’s taken me this long to see it. He doesn’t seem to understand why I’m upset and thinks it’s gold digging behaviors to be this offended.

Keep in mind, at this moment I DO work but 80% of our income is support from HIM!

Back in 2024 I left my partner of eight years at the time for 10 months. I knew he was dating a couple girls here and there and never really thought anything about it until he started dating one girl for a couple weeks they had a known HIV positive status in our town.

He took our child to her house for the first time and whenever I found out about it for my child, I asked him about the relationship and he says that they actually were splitting up because they don’t have anything in common. And that he was worried to sleep with her because of the known risks.

About three months later, we reconciled and got back together. Before sleeping with him, I asked him to promise me that he never slept with that girl. He reassure me and told me absolutely did not do that and that was a lot of reason why they weren’t compatible.

I asked him probably 10 to 15 more times due to the fact that I have an extreme anxiety and he knew this and each time the answer was always the same.

Recently, I found out he had been searching exes and other girls online and social media. One in particular was this girl. He even had an exchange of messages again with her. Upon finding this, I reached out to a mutual friend, and she said that she knew they had dated and was sure that they did because of the conversation they had..

I reached out to him, and asked again. He assured me they didn’t. I asked him to confirm it and have the girl confirm it as well. With her having this I’m sure she is respectful and understanding when someone comes forward and asks. He refuses too. He also, says I’m drama, and I’m ruining his life and something is severely wrong with me. I quite literally flipped out on him in the most craziest way because I refused to be made to look like I’m causing problems for being concerned for my health and trusting him.

I have not been retested since this is all unfolded over the last 48 hours, but I am under an immense level of stress over the situation and I don’t know how to move forward. AITAH by messaging this girl though she has me blocked on all socials and I’m working on a way to reach out.

I’m sad everyday, stuck, lost and confused. I don’t want to be here but I have nowhere to go

I don’t know how to handle myself anymore. I’m 31 and I’ve had a rough life, toxic family, toxic relationships, hard bringing up, bad things happened, death of siblings, lost everything multiple times just to work to get it back etc. I used to be good at shoving these feelings away and focusing on life, but I’m starting to lose my grip and it’s scaring me.

I try to tell myself I’m blessed everyday. My relationship has been on the rocks, up and down, toxic etc. my kids love me but I feel these deep gnawing feeling I’m cheating them out of a good life for some reason, even though I do everything in my will power to give them everything good.

My job is stressful, it’s demanding and to be honest. Taking care of other people medically for a career can be overwhelming sometimes. I work for a family privately. The man I’ve cared for 10 years straight, who’s paid my bills when I needed, bought be a vehicle, and loved me like a father loves a daughter is currently dying right infront of me. I cared for his father until he died, and then his wife, and now him…. I cry every morning on my way to work, because I know it’s coming. I will be losing my livelihood but also, a literally family member in my eyes. On top of that I got nursing school! .

My house is expensive now, between me and my partner we barely stay up. Saving anything is nearly impossible, let alone having enough to feed a family of 5 for the month. I’m up to my neck in debt. I can’t even spare a day off work if I’m sick, let alone a vacation or anything to get some relief.

I feel like my partner isn’t growing with me. I daydream about my peace. I love waterfalls, I love nature, and if I had it my way I would drive to one every chance I got. I daydream of sunsets and travel. I want to see the world. I want to feel free, I love animals, and gods land. He’s worried about all the wrong things. He wants my every second undivided attention, he wants me to be all over him 24/7 and to be honest. I’m not that level of needy anymore. I want someone to be beside me and take me as I am. I daydream of a love that’s easy, pleasant and not so, expecting? He stays upset at me. Says I’m not interested in him enough, I’m not sexual enough, etc. then stays mad at me all the time. I’m constantly trying to prove my love but I’m told it’s not enough. I’m exhausted.

I feel guilty for feeling all this, but at the same time. I’m yearning for something deeper in this life and I don’t know how to find it. I feel like I want to go home but there is no home that exists. I cry so much, I feel a lump in my throat all the time, I barely can eat, I just feel heavy. Still having to push through these to function as a responsible adult is difficult but I have no choice.

Without making it sound totally mean. Because I’m not trying to, but I’m exhausted

Me and my partner have been together for 10 years. We have 3 kids together. He’s very affectionate, likes to touch a lot and kiss etc. he is even like this in public. I don’t mind but I have boundaries at certain points.

I don’t know what it is about myself and I’ve never thought there was anything extremely wrong with me either. I’m not a super touchy person, I don’t like PDA and my
Love language isn’t physical at all. We are opposites with this obviously, but he’s known this about me since forever.

If I dont kiss him 19275 times, or “want” to have sex when he does, or want to lay nearly right on top of each other, there “has to be something wrong” but there literally won’t be.

Every week if there is a day, I’m busy, moving with the kids around, cleaning, running errands whatever. We’re in passing of each other and sometimes we’re back and forth with each other…. He will wait until we’re apart and text me “you don’t find me attractive-Why do you always put me last?- Should I just give up on the hope you’ll ever love me like I do you?”

& okay, I used to entertain this. But now, I don’t. I simply can’t. I’m living life normally everyday, our fast paced life, being full time employees and parents, home owners and I understand we’re not young anymore and it’s not just us. But I like my life, and we do things together too. It just never seems to be ENOUGH and satisfy him.

He came home 2 nights ago complaining about his feet and you know what I do? RUB THEM FOR AN HOUR. I mean deep massage. Cook him breakfast when he wakes up and all. Like come on, I feel like he’s never satisfied. He told me today if this doesn’t change he thinks he’s leaning on giving up on us? I don’t know what to even do.

So I told him today I’m not listening to the pity party anymore. I am ENOUGH! and I’m doing ENOUGH! maybe not to him I guess, but it’s ENOUGH somewhere. And I feel like I’m being mean, but there has to be a point where it’s ridiculous right? Or maybe I’m wrong. I’m not sure. But am I the asshole?

To keep it simple, I’m 32 and have 3 children.

I’ve been in an abusive relationship since I was 15. I have no idea how to live life outside of my partner. I don’t even know how to take care of everything myself.

I’ve always worked, but my jobs weren’t significant enough to really pay the majority of bills and such. It was basically extra money and groceries, kids needs, sports etc. while he paid everything.

While it’s been rough, I’ll stress it hasn’t been the worst life either, but I know it’s caused me and my children some levels of damage overtime. I’ve decided I want to make a way, out. But I don’t want to do that until I have my ducks in a row, and a solid plan.

I realized my partner is set on our life going exactly how he wants without my say. If I fight against it, I’m being a brat and I don’t know what I’m talking about. He wants to buy a house, that’s great. But I already have land (my inheritance) and a spot to build or place a home. I’ve voiced since I was younger this is my dream, and it’s already there. My dad does have a home on the property near by. It’s a project in itself, it’s over 150 years old. Beautiful but a total wreck.

Basically I was told recently that dream is to never happen. He will not move on to a property that is not his, or something he personally has a name on. My property is NON marital. Even if we were married, he could never own it. This is something he does not like, therefore will not tolerate the thought of.

I made a plan in my head, if my dad passed away I would pack me and my kids up and move straight into his home. From there, I would make a plan to build or do whatever I wanted. I recently got my CNA and finished my pre req classes to start a nursing program. In 2 years I’ll be a registered nurse. I just NEED 2 years to get me comfortable and stable. I’m scared, and I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or if that’s too late to finally run away. I don’t know if it’s wrong of me to pretend that long like we are this one happy family.

I’m sad all the time. I cry everyday, nothing has to happen. I just feel heavyweights on my chest. I look at my kids and wish I was better in so many way, I wish I would have done this thought process 10 or even 5 years ago. I’m scared that I’m waiting so long I’m going to be too old to find love again or my kids will hate me. I just feel so devastated

Im thinking of asking our friend for my money back for a tattoo that was paid for in advance and feel like im being an AH.

Me and my fiancé have been together for 10 years. He has a very close best friend, more like a brother. They grew up together and talk religiously. His best friend owns a tattoo shop, and has done both of our tattoos for a decade.

Me and my partner broke up for a length of time back in 2025. Then got back together before the holidays. Never had an issue with our friendships because of the break up really. We kept this between us.

My partner bought me a gift certificate for a tattoo at his best friends shop because he was running a Christmas deal of gift certificates. $300 tattoo for $250. I got it Christmas morning. I messaged his friend about a week later to set up a date on the books for it. He never messaged me back.

My partner ended up getting his neck tattoo finished by him (this date was previously set before Christmas or receiving my GC) he asked him about getting back to me and his friend said he would

I messaged him maybe 2-3 times over the next few weeks assuming he was just busy. But our other mutual friends would be posting pictures of tattoos he was doing on them, or excitement for upcoming dates for their new tats. So obviously I started thinking he was ignoring me.

I finally messaged him late April and said he needed to at least put me on the books, it didn’t have to be asap. He still didn’t respond. My fiancé called him and he said “tell her I can fit her in tomorrow if she wants” well, I had to work and couldn’t ask off that soon in advance. So I told him my schedule and he told me his. I ended up requesting through my job a day off for him to do it that worked best for him. He agreed.

The date was set for may 9th, 11 am. I got up and ready and headed to his shop. 15 minutes before our scheduled time he texted me and said “sorry can’t make it today, I can do it tomorrow” I told him I requested off for today and work all day tomorrow so it wouldn’t work. He never responded. I’ve reached out 5x respectfully and he still won’t respond.

Yesterday my girl best friend got a tattoo from him AND scheduled her next one. She actually
Mentioned and asked why he hasn’t got me in and his response was “fu\*\* her” and then said “just kidding” but this is my bestfriend….she was confused and then she told me…. I’m livid.

Now I just want my money back. I’m trying to be nice and I can’t any longer. It’s been 5 months and not as much as a response and honestly, it’s very hurtful and plain unprofessional. I haven’t messaged him yet, and with the rate of him before I’m sure I won’t be getting a response or my money….

I understand people being busy, but AITAH

We’ve been together for 10 years but split up for 2. Neither one of us have ever physically cheated. I did find messages between him and his exs in his phone before we split up. But that wasn’t the reason for the split.

We got back together to try to mend our lives and family back. We have 3 children together, we do love each other and we both are much more stable these days.

We’ve been back together for 6 months and honestly things have been great. But about a month ago I noticed his anxiety being a lot. He randomly would ask me “do you actually love me?” “Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” Etc.

I always reassure him, but I won’t lie, it’s annoying sometimes. But then it got more and more. If I left 30 minutes before work (to grab my drive thru coffee) he questioned if I was really going to work. I picked up 3 extra hours one night and he called me at my normal clock out time on the dot to see if I was really working over.

When I’m talking about other guys in friends groups or guys my friends are talking to. He always throws in “you think he’s hot huh?” It’s just very uncomfortable… but the other night something happened that really threw my for a loop. After work, I went to pick my child’s prescription up at the pharmacy and they were giving me issues. I had to wait for 45 minutes and called him in a fuss. He said he “didn’t understand why I was so upset” I just ignored it, waited, then the pharmacy told me I would have to come back the next morning cause they were so behind.

I called him on the way home and he again, questioned why I was soooo upset! I just went home and he was on the phone when I arrived. He went outside, finished phone call and came back. When I asked who he spoke to he said he called the pharmacy! He later admitted he called to figure out if I was really there.

This really bothered me, but I kept quiet. Everyday, it’s a question of what I’m REALLY doing. Before, during, after work. Questioning my loyalty. I finally just told him I can’t take it anymore. What is the deal? I’m not doing anything, why do I feel like I’m being monitored as a grown adult!

He says I’m not being supportive or caring about his feelings and thoughts he can’t control about me. He says he knows I’m loyal and not cheating on him…. Well then why do I have to be questioned? Then he makes me feel like I’m being hateful and mean. Which in turn makes him think I’m defensive and hiding something, which is not the case.

I’m so stressed and want to know how I can help this man through this without trouble. Anybody have any ideas?

I was having bleeding/mucus for 3 months straight before I was approved to get a colonoscopy in April. I found out I had UC and my calprotectin was extremely high at 3,880

My GI gave me lialda 4 pills daily and then nightly mesalamine enemas. I have been doing this for almost a month. I have seen a definite improvement since starting. However, about a week or so ago I started noticing my very lower back (sacral, coccyx area) was aching. Like a very deep ache.

I thought it might be from sitting for long periods of time at work. When I stand I get a lot of pain there and it takes a couple minutes of walking to go away. Also, I have a lot of pain and aching in my hips too. I had a cervical, thoracic and lumbar MRI back in February. Normal besides mild spinal lumbar stenosis (I’ve never had issues with this previously and it is not the reason for MRI)

I was trying to figure out what this could be. It feels like my tailbone is trying to fall out of my butt lol.

I’m just cherry picking the likely cause. I obviously haven’t had this issue before. I was doing nightly enemas until about 4 days ago. My GI said I could go down to 3x a week now. When I insert my enema (I’m inexperienced with these) I have it pointed “up” and then squeeze. I am done within 20-30 second start to finish. I wonder if it’s caused irritation or trauma to the area? Anybody have any ideas?

Thank you for reading!