I don’t think I’m going to make it
I’m a few months into PA school and honestly I just don’t feel smart enough to be here. I look around at my classmates and it feels like everyone else understands things faster, retains information better, and just naturally “gets it.” Meanwhile I constantly feel behind and overwhelmed.
My grades are always in the lowest quartile. My faculty is concerned, I am concerned. Motivation isn’t an issue, so is it possible that my intelligence level is simply not high enough?
I’ve been that way all throughout my life when it comes to school. Middle school up until now, I have never been the smart person in the class. I have always been notably less intelligent than my peers.
What’s really getting to me is that I want to be the person who walks into an exam knowing they’re probably going to pass. Right now every exam feels like survival mode. I can study for hours and still feel like I know nothing compared to everyone else.
It’s hard not to wonder if some people are just naturally smarter and better built for this. I want to become someone who feels competent and confident academically, but right now I honestly have no idea how to get there. Is it even possible?
I know every program an attrition rate, but I’m still so scared of failing out. At what point will the fear of filling out go away? I’ve been in the program for 5 months and I’m barely hanging on.
Sorry for this word vomit rant. I’m just stuck