u/Interesting_Layer299

Didn’t think it was this dirty in the world man, but I am dirty dan. I try to help but, I’m a complete fool to some, a criminal to others, a crazy guy to many.

Im okay with however people think of me because I know I’m gaining confidence, trying my best, even though Im dirty man. But man oh man. I think none of that even really matters, you threw a wrench in my plans, and to God, I’m so thankful man. Man oh man, I feel like a bad man. Many man trying to put their 2 cents into my ATM but ATP I don’t really care, they might just be fans. Trying to blow me over but can’t even stand on the 2 cents they gave me, I thought my knees were weak, but man oh man they sure are.

My wrench, you fixed more than you planned, you made me a better man and now I don’t feel so dirty…
Im not trying to be flirty (yes I am), but I think I can handle your plumbing for now on if you let me, ouuuu man I don’t think I can stand. You make me feel like a boy in school that got told to stand, but had to readjust his pants. I don’t look at any other women, tbh I don’t see any other women, but man oh man you are all the woman I ever needed, so thank you for throwing a wrench in my plans.

You make me feel like Dirty Dan, you’re giving me so much confidence ma’am. Here ill show you right here:

🗣️I LOVE YOU, NO TAKE BACKS!

This sure was not apart of my plans, and I thank God that my original plan sucked because you have me happy right where I am. Let’s keep getting closer and closer because I want to love you where ever you are and where ever I am. Never felt this kind of love before, I feel like Dirty Dan.

Pearls: Wisdom gained through experience, inner purity, and emotional transformation. Purity often implies being untouched by the world. Pearl purity is different; it represents integrity maintained through adversity—emerging from dark, murky waters without being corrupted. (Thanks google)

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I’ll get the pearl rolling with these enjoy!
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“Wealth is water, let it flow for if it becomes stagnant, it will breed mosquitoes and filth. Flowing water brings life and prosperity.”

“Can love be without war? Can war without love? Can light shine without darkness? Can good be without bad? So sin will remain until everyone chooses to turn their lights on.”

“Does the Sun need the earth, the stars, the moon or any other celestial body? No, but what would be the point of a great light with no where to shine and nothing to reflect its light? What is a creator with no creation? What is love without anyone to give it to?”

“If one person has hatred in their hearts, will true love and peace on earth be possible? Will be all have to be in love for all wars to end? In love with whom? Ourselves? Our neighbors (each other)? God?Conflict is normal but, war inhuman. Love and humility is humanity.”

“ The embodiment of love makes a true man. The embodiment of respect makes a true woman. I thought the reverse was true until I saw this world fall into calamity with heartless men and disrespectful women.”

You guys are all my family, so let me share this letter I thought of this morning here.

I never understood Reddit for years it was always confusing to me and I never really was fond of social media in the first place, but I had a weird dream a couple of weeks ago to download this app.

It was a girl who threw a phone into a dark tunnel and I went in and got it and she vanished like Batman(Ive been having some interesting dreams lately, can y’all relate?). Reddit was on the screen and the whole tunnel lit up when I had the thought to download it. I woke up as the light got brighter and said “fuck it let’s download this thing and see what’s up”. Now I feel like I have a place to write certain things and share experiences that people can relate to and take knowledge from and also just a place for my writing.

Now, I have helped others who messaged me with advice as well as some people who just read something and gained something from it like how tf that happen in still confused. All of this to say, not only did that girl help me without trying, now im on here helping people somehow just by being myself and sharing. Grande Finale- Sometimes you being genuine and sharing experiences good or bad will help others and maybe you can change perspective on some of the bad stuff that happened in your life. If some 🐂💩 I went through helped some random person I never met relate and not feel alone, ill go jump into the shit again, but thats how I am. Anyways, you never know who you are affecting in person or online so be aware of that power because we all have it.

I really hope you are doing alright I think about you a lot and I don’t know what to do about that sometimes. I feel our souls met each other in another life, another time another place.

Maybe we met each other in every timeline and every time it’s always been hard to find each other

(This Arc sucks for the most part, but I think its getting good)

I know healing and our personal lives come first but I want to help you through whatever and I know you are praying for me like I am you. I just wanted you to know if this ever finds you that someone else is rooting for you and fighting behind the scenes, and making a scenes (strategically) so that everything will be all right. I know people think I’m crazy but thats just how its gon be because I’ll look like boo boo the fool for love.

Alright, as you know jobs not finished, war not over, but I hope we can start fighting side by side one day soon. You got my soul, sister.

-Mister Mister <3

Chapter LAW:

Quick references: 2 Chronicles 20/ Psalms 33
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Singing is one of the most powerful things in the universe. It has the power to draw emotions, touch souls and spirits positively or negatively. Spiritually, the power of song draws from the spirt and soul. It is able to shift situations and turn the tide of spiritual warfare. Rehearsed hymns and songs hold power, but the most potent songs are the one straight from your core.

These songs don’t always have to sound good or even be on key all the time, what matters is the intention and the posture of your soul. When God hears and experiences genuine prayers, actions, and in this case songs, he smiles and sends his angles to sing along and watch over you. He delights in prayers that satisfy the mind, body, and soul. He wants us to empty our minds and fill our hearts and core(stomach) with his holy spirit. He wants the songs not to be forced or rehearsed, but to be from a place of deep joy and love for God and who he is. Not because he wants to strong arm you to make a song and sing if you’re not confident/comfortable, no he just wants to feel genuine connection and love that no one could have manufactured.

Rehearsed songs are good for a group of believers to memorize and sing along to, but it can always be true that an unrehearsed song will catch on and everyone can add and sing along in harmony. When you are alone, just humming, whispering, whistling or just a tune in your head will please God. Any one of us wants a person to mean what they say and say what they mean in any relationship, but especially in a romantic relationship. God wants the same thing. Real Love. Real words. Real commitment.

He gives all of these away to us for free. He wants someone just because of who he is and he is worthy loved. Who else is more worthy? We are all worthy to be loved. He wants soldiers in both Love and War. That is LAW.
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Hopefully you are doing well and at this point I just want you to be happy and love yourself. I just wanted to make you smile again because I remember how carefree, happy and beautiful your spirit was. I never got to tell you back then in HS that you changed the way I saw life for the better even if we weren’t close. I know you may not believe this but that one time in gym class where I was up against the wall was what started me taking back my life. I started quitting things I was forced to do and started being myself slowly. I saw a girl who was not pretending at all like that was just how quirky, weird(the best kind) and cute you were. That 30 seconds of randomness (one of my favorite memories period) whatever noises you were making and what ever the hell you thought you were doing to be in my face might have been unironically the funniest shit that happened to me and it changed my life for the better.

I know I didn’t express it back then because I forced myself into a shell and couldn’t be free with you, but you don’t understand that day you literally changed my way of thinking. I saw a girl that was so freely herself not caring what anyone thought even her friends (btw idk what the goal was but it might’ve worked). I wish I wasn’t thinking about bull shit so I could’ve laughed with you and make noises with you like how I wanted.

I think why this current situation is so… emotional charged for me at least is because I feel like we changed places somehow. Now I feel free and move like I don’t care what anyone thinks but thats not true, you were more free back then than I am now. Im still trying to catch up. Now you remind me how I was back then living in your own shadow.

Edited version of yourself that allowed us to stay in spaces and act like a chameleon without getting too emotionally attached and still be somewhat socially acceptable. It’s not healthy for people like us. Take it from someone who did it before you, THAT SHIT SUCKS!!!!! Ill just speak from experience here, It’s exhausting when you get by yourself and makes you start hating a person who isn’t even your true self. You start living in your own shadow so long that you just like a passenger doing what everyone else wants and expects from you but what about that radiant personality inside?! It was too bright thats why they wanted you to dial it back and turn it off, it was burning their ego away and exposing things in themselves. You didn’t do anything wrong accept believing that living in a shadow, especially their shadows, would bring you peace. You are too bright mentally, physically and otherwise to be in anyones shadow not even your own.

Ive been on both sides now so Ill say back then, people tried to clown my identity, shit on me, spread all types of rumors (they’re still trying to this day)for just being myself. I stopped being me to fit in because thats what I thought would make my life easier. WRONG I JUST GOT DEPRESSED AND LOST SIGHT OF MYSELF.

What I genuinely realized that I hope you get to or hope you got there by now, they were gonna hate anyway sister. FUCK THEM BE YOU! IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, SO YOU. I know people didn’t accept it and didn’t like how expressive you were but I really did. I still think about how I wish I was stronger back then so you would have someone to be yourself proudly with.

I know that I don’t know you deeply and that was my faith back then because if I was moving from my soul, I would want to spend time with you back then I didn’t really care about what it may have turned into. I didn’t talk to any girl at all back then I was too focused on trying to escape my situation and I was a late bloomer I guess. I just wanted to be close to you a friend, but I’m not sure if we could’ve stayed that, so maybe thats why I subconsciously didn’t want to try to talk to you because I couldn’t uphold my end if it got there. You were just fun to be around and I wish I had someone to watch anime with and do whatever random crap we could come up with.

Anyways this message was really for this, I hope you get out of your own shadow and realize despite any situations you’re going through, it’s you who can shine the light on all of it. Let that light of yours shine not just when others say so, let it shine freely like the light that saved me from myself. I hope I can return the favor one day.

Alright shine bright like a diamond 💎 and please know you are as strong and durable as one too.

PS: Sorry if I ever hurt your feelings by being a oblivious hurt ding dong back then, I really wanted to be close to you.

PPS: who told you to hold me at dance point against the wall 😭😂 thank you for doing it (truly)

Letter to God, the people and me.

I felt like I had a great day doing everything I set to do and actually got to reach the hearts of a couple of people who seemed like they were in darkness a long time. Just sharing some wisdom and love and what not. After being done with that and going home, bad stuff just started happening, shoes wet, phone wet, my book wet, Honey based medicine Ive been working on for 1.5 years destroyed and spilled on said book. All the other stuff had me upset but my book being sticky and some of the words un readable really took the smile off my face completely.

I felt like this test has happened to me multiple times but like what tf am I supposed to be doing? I elected to take a shower and take a nap to try to breakdown, but like damn anyone have any ideas? I feel like my personal stuff wasn’t worth getting upset over but that book I feel like belongs to more than me so it has me feeling guilty like I let people down. I don’t even understand how the whole jar broke without me realizing until I got home. Genuinely exhausted and I think my mind is about to start working against me, so I think im going to shut it all off and hope I fall asleep untill tomorrow morning atp. I just want to deal with stuff like this better, but what else am I supposed to do my family you guys have any tips? I hope this helps someone or me idk im taking my advanced nap now bye.

I wish I could be confused about what to do next. I know we have to keep healing and what not and deal with our problems and blockages blah blah blah but I want my shepherd to lead me to you bah bah bah (ha ha ha very corny). I don’t want to rush or force anything and I am patient, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m being indirect or unclear about what I think about you. I know red and blue makes purple, just wondering when it’s time to mix and become royalty together.

I feel like its nothing lacking, but I don’t fully believe its just timing good or bad that is holding whatever you want to call this. I talked to my pool guy and he told me the pool was clean, but to still take a shower and wash your feet before getting in the pool. He told me there are some undesirable delaying the line to the showers, but that everything would be fine.

He said when we get to the pool, counting to 3 and jumping was the best way to get in the deep end without being too scared. He also said the fear in the water wasn’t the problem, it was now the fear of how long we would be in the pool.

Pretty sure as soon as our toes hit the water all the fear will just be gone. Well actually I have it on good information that the pool is heated, treated and protected by special coating. It’s supposed to kill bugs or something in the water I just know the pool guy said it was going to be alright and he put extra life guards on duty.

The pool guy is pretty cool, He gave me some googles to wear (He gave me one for you too). Honestly I think im going to just jump in without them I saw what I needed to see before I jumped in.

Clear serene water that heals the skin, bone, muscle and mind on entry. I think if we jump in together, please take my hand and I’ll lead you where ever you want me to take you. You point I’ll click. Let’s go ahead and jump in I think it’s going to be hot for the rest of the week.

I hope you don’t think I would let you be overthinking getting to 0 real conclusions alone forever. Come overthink next to me and ill do the same and we will both make 0 sense together forever ♾️

Maybe I was wrong after all…

Sorry, but clearly…. I don’t have my head on straight.

I thought I was supposed to put it all on my shoulders and finish what I started alone before I let my teammates help me. I think im starting to see some real trauma and the roots of them that I can been trying to weed out.

I knew I never needed my weed wacker and leaf blower to find the roots of these problems, but I got used to the solution I could do all alone.

I didn’t want to rely on teammates because they let me down so many times, especially teammates I thought were supposed to never do the things they did to me. I got used to playing on teams by myself, and it was working out for me for a while.

I was capable enough to do it. So I said, why not keep it going?

But then I started missing my teammates. No, I don’t miss the backstabbing and conniving ones, I miss the feeling of unity. I became one with myself to the point of complete self reliance to find that I needed teammates.

I think I want to try playing Tennis. I was always bad whenever I tried it so it might be just what I need.

I want to learn this new struggle, adventure, love with a partner.

Will you come be my tennis partner? Will you come be my cooking partner, my watching buddy for shows, my plus 1 at every event?

Im done trying to cary the world when I now I saw the universe in your eyes. You know by now my words are not cheap, so don’t get ready, we already did the best we could. Don’t brace for impact, this collision will be full of assurance. Don’t force anything now. Let’s just let G do his thing and I will see you soon so we can take about as much and as little as our hearts can take.

My GPS is already set to your heart and yours set to mine.

PS: I love Downton Abbey. Lets watch whatever we want.

How did you unknowingly save me again? Unknowingly bringing out parts of me I always had but never shared? How did you even know it was there? You know you are just like my favorite X-Men Storm. Not only can she wipe out all type of people by herself, the elegance and subtly is unmatched. This letter is for you but really for me. This is the equivalent to me talking to myself out loud just wow. Well I’ll see you soon im speechless, but I’ll say thank you for being yourself, thats all I needed you needed to be.

Sometimes I wish some of these cars would come knock me over so I can feel something different. My heart is aching, I need to feel pain somewhere else.

Maybe one if the tires will fix my broken heart, from life from betrayal, from pure hatred against me. I tired and need a soothing pillow to lay my thoughts and worries.

Maybe one tire will fix my broken legs.

Maybe another will fix my broken back.

I think the last one will have to fix my thoughts and straighten me up.

I think I need to go back to sleep, but I will be up bright and early in the morning. Just need some rest not a permanent slumber. Sometimes I’m just 🛞, I’m not close to giving in so give up before we reached the end of the rainbow.

I hope the good luck there stays with us forever, and it must be so because all the bad luck is being spent rapidly on the journey.

Wish I could send this to your phone, your heart, your soul, your pager, your dreams, your inner world. I’ll send it here and see how deep it goes, I couldn’t send this to you personally im not strong enough. Please see my weaknesses, im tired of being strong. I just don’t understand how you are not tired of me? Are you starting to? I already know you have been ready to let this all go and move on. Im tired of acting like I even tried that. You see me, but do you know how tired I really am?

Sometimes I wish some of these cars would come knock me over so I can feel something.

Maybe one if the tires will fix my broken heart,

Maybe one will fix my broken legs.

Maybe another will fix my broken back.

I think the last one will have to fix my thoughts and straighten me up.

I think I need to go back to sleep, but I will be up bright and early in the morning. Just need some rest not a permanent slumber. Sometimes I’m just 🛞, I’m not close to giving in so give up before we reached the end of the rainbow.

I hope the good luck there stays with us forever, and it must be so because all the bad luck is being spent rapidly on the journey.

Wish I could send this to your phone, your heart, your soul, your pager, your dreams, your inner world. I’ll send it here and see how deep it goes, I couldn’t send this to you personally im not strong enough. Please see my weaknesses, im tired of being strong.

This is one will be short. Long story short, I wrote a steamy one but they put it on ice. They don’t want us to be close but every time you are near me it feels like the whole earth is cheering us on. I wanted a longer story but I think this one will be simple complexity in simplicity. I want you to be happy where ever you are. We have grown enough not to need each other, but now I think I need you close just because the peace you bring without knowing is all I want to know.

This is one will be short. Long story short, they don’t want us to be close but every time you are near me it feels like the whole earth is cheering us on. I wanted a longer story but I think this one will be simple complexity in simplicity. I want you to be happy where ever you are. We have grown enough not to need each other, but now I think I need you close just because the peace you bring without knowing is all I want to know.

Pretty sure I already did at this point. I like to dibble dabble in a lot of crafts keeps my brain happy. I get told I am a Jack of all trades, but I think I master things really based on how much I give a flying

Ive been forced to do so many things in my life because I was good at them or showed higher talent, but I want to master something that makes me feel good.

I think I found something worth learning every little detail about.

I want to know how you are so damn smart it makes me angry that I can pick your brain. I want to know where you came from, what made your soul so radiant, how can I make you shine beight with me forever.

I want to know if you like it cold when you’re sleeping like me because I will be up all knight if not.

Whats your favorite food and how can I make it better for you. I can cook frl Gordon Ramsey lowkey don’t want the smoke when it comes to steak (I suck at cooking rice unless its rice and peas idky).

What I really really Kevin Gates want to know, yes (really) this is the one that keeps me up.

I want to know what makes you smile?

I know you are the only person on planet earth that actually sees me and now I know for sure without being sure at all. Just faith. I always wanted someone to just see who I really am without the filters of their own life experience put on me. You saw right through me the day I walked in that room.

I don’t even know the words to say how deeply I feel. Sometimes I start just daydreaming and singing about you.You are my spine, my support, my honey.It doesn’t feel natural to keep this inside at all and I’m sorry that in this life that there is so much hatred surrounding us by people we should trust. I can only assume what you told my parental figure was positive because he started crashing out on me which isn’t your fault it’s his hatred. I know you saw parts of that and I don’t like how any of that went down, but I want you to know what ever you said to him didn’t reach me at all.

You know how much I cary without seeing a single weight on my shoulders, you see the impact and importance of my responsibilities even when no one around you would agree. The only person who I really feel I never need to explain myself to and yet here I am. I had visions of times where we sailed across the sea together, fought evil side by side. I saw a vision of us being back to back against world and we still won. Now I know God was showing me then that You are my spine. I know the power of words so I won’t even say we might not cross paths again, just be ready when we do.

I know you are the only person on planet earth that actually sees me and now I know for sure without being sure at all. Just faith. I always wanted someone to just see who I really am without the filters of their own life experience put on me. You saw right through me the day I walked in that room.

I don’t even know the words to say how deeply I feel. Sometimes I start just daydreaming and singing about you.You are my spine, my support, my honey.It doesn’t feel natural to keep this inside at all and I’m sorry that in this life that there is so much hatred surrounding us by people we should trust. I can only assume what you told my parental figure was positive because he started crashing out on me which isn’t your fault it’s his hatred. I know you saw parts of that and I don’t like how any of that went down, but I want you to know what ever you said to him didn’t reach me at all.

You know how much I cary without seeing a single weight on my shoulders, you see the impact and importance of my responsibilities even when no one around you would agree. The only person who I really feel I never need to explain myself to and yet here I am. I had visions of times where we sailed across the sea together, fought evil side by side. I saw a vision of us being back to back against world and we still won. Now I know God was showing me then that You are my spine. I know the power of words so I won’t even say we might not cross paths again, just be ready when we do.