Stephen takes the Colbert Questionert
- What’s the best sandwich? (Billy Crystal)
- Summer: Tomato sandwich on very thin white bread, eaten over the sink, juicy tomato
- Rest of the year: Hot pastrami on rye
- First concert? (Weird Al)
1977, Chuck Mangione, Children of Sanchez Tour in Charleston, South Carolina, with his mom
- What is the scariest animal? (Josh Brolin)
Trapdoor spider, and someone named one after him - Aptostichus stephencolberti
- Apples or oranges? (Martha Stewart)
Apples
- Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? (Mark Hamill)
Steve Martin
- What do you think happens when we die? (Jim Gaffigan)
“A feeling - some continuance of some kind, but it's a dispersion of the self into some other greater being.”
- Favorite action movie? (Jeff Daniels)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (or The Thing, but that's more horror)
- Window or aisle? (Tiffany Haddish)
Aisle because he's got a small bladder
- Favorite smell? (Evie)
When Evie and Stephen are going out someplace, when she is upstairs getting ready first, and when he goes up and gets to the top of the stairs, he already knows that she's gotten out of shower because Evie's used rose-scented lotion.
- Least favorite smell? (Amy Sedaris)
The grease jar that leaked into a bag of sugar underneath Mrs. Miller's sink
- What is your earliest memory? (Ben Stiller)
His mom on a short ladder with her hair up, painting the bedroom. His mom thought he was maybe 3 at that time. He wanted to tell her about his dream from the night before but remembers not being able to communicate that to his mom.
- Cats or dogs? (Aubrey Plaza)
Dogs.
- You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: What is it? (James Taylor)
Glenn Gould's rendition of Song Without Words in E Major, Opus 19, Number 1
- WHAT NUMBER ARE YOU THINKING OF? (Robert DeNiro)
Three. Meryl Streep and Ethan Hawke (SC: "That's very interesting") have guessed it.
- Describe the rest of your life in five words. (John Dickerson)
My family, my friends, fun.