u/Jay_ney

I never thought that I would be writing about how a criminal trial that I have no connection to is impacting my relationship with my wife. My wife (34F) has recently gotten very invested in a high profile American criminal trial thanks to social media influencers. She has bought into theories that the defendant was framed and that there is no possible way that the defendant could have committed the crimes. This post is not created for the purpose of debating the efficacy of the charges or the evidence, but suffice it to say, I do not agree with her. I work in the legal profession and I have been streaming the trial at work. I find it helpful to watch procedure and see how other lawyers litigate. My wife has watched none of the trial, and has been getting her information from social media videos.

This case has become very important to her, which I think is great. I enjoy seeing her get passionate about things that she is interested in. The problem, however, is she is extremely upset that I do not agree with her point of view. I never go out of my way to bring up the trial. She initiates conversations about it. I listen and try to understand, but I do not agree with her. In the past, I have agreed with her on issues that she took a hard stance on just so I didn't create a problem. When the issue would get brought up to other people, my wife would say that I endorse her opinion. Sometimes I would back track because I did not actually agree, and this would result in a problem anyways. Because of this, I do not simply agree to simply agree any more.

Last night, things came to a head. She was talking about the case. I did not want to seem like I was uninterested in what she was talking about, so I engaged and asked her about her opinions. When she was finished, she seemed to want to get my take. I told her that those are interesting points, but from what I have seen, I do not agree. This triggered a very angry response from my wife. She told me that I do not know what I'm talking about and that because I do not think the defendant was framed then I have sided with the person who actually committed the crime. She told me she was worried about me and my ability to do my job when I can't even look at the evidence correctly. She even insinuated that maybe I was planning to frame her for the same thing. I never raised my voice and I did not really have anything to say in response. Overall, what started as a conversation spiraled into angry vitriol and attacks on me. The night ended really awkward and I was surprised that I was not asked to sleep on the couch.

Any advice on how to handle this?

Update #1: She is demanding that I come home from work to do things for her. I suspect as a way to make me earn my forgiveness for making her mad. I told her I couldn't because I have things that I have to do. She is now very upset at me.

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To be clear, I did not say this in front of the child.

I took this past weekend off work, to host my MiL's birthday party (MiL lives with us). I love my inlaws, they are generally great people. But my SiL has taken the "gentle parenting" approach, which, to her, means that she will never discipline her child. This has resulted in that little boy (11m) acting like a fucking asshole, if I'm being honest.

His idea of "fun" is sneaking up behind people and screaming as loud as he can into their ear. I still can't hear properly out of my right ear after the most recent incident. I might have permanent damage. He walked away laughing.

Another thing he did was to dump a ridiculous amount of salt into the mashed potatoes we were making while no one was looking, rendering them inedible. He thought that was fucking hilarious.

He also took his pocket knife and carved his name into the TV in our game room. $900 TV, completely ruined. He laughed his ass off when we found out. I can replace it, a new one is already on the way, but it's the principle. Don't destroy other people's stuff.

TW: Animal abuse.

>!He chased my dog around, and when he caught her, he yanked on her tail, then ran away laughing. Luckily, the vet said no permanent damage was done. I feel like she's raising a serial killer. Who enjoys hurting an animal?!?!<

</TW>

My MiL is the sweetest, kindest, and generally best person I have ever met. So I kept my calm, and let them stay for the party. I didn't want to ruin her birthday. I love that woman.

After all was said and done, and everyone went home, I sent a private message to my SiL. I let her know that while I don't agree with her parenting style, she is free to raise her own kid as she sees fit, but I will not allow him in my house ever again. Unless she starts teaching him how to behave in human society.

She is calling me all sorts of names, and telling me that I'm "causing drama in the family over nothing". Mind you, I didn't say this in the family group chat, I said it in a DM. I don't understand how that can be considered "drama".

I just cannot deal with that feral child anymore.

AITAH?

I know he's just a kid, but I've raised 13 kids, and none of them act like that.

Hello everyone, I [24F] just moved to Edinburgh and I want to explore the nightlife. So I was wondering if there are any nice clubs or lounges or something like that or are there any events that are going to happen soon?

OK SO basically what happened is that I saw a video on Instagram and it was talking about some like "black representation in shows" which I'm all for don't get me wrong, I liked the video then went to the comment section. I see someone like "don't forget *insert egyptian character*!!" which I found a bit funny because that's Arab representation more than black yk! I see the replies like "he's Egyptian tho..." and then people were like "Egypt is in Africa". For context, I am Moroccan so I also found that a little funny because just because someone is from Africa or their country is located in Africa, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're black. I took a screenshot and sent to my boyfriend because I was bored and just wanted to share something that I saw and yk talk about random things just to start up a conversation. HOWEVERRR he started talking about like how i AM black and insisted that I was..? He said the commenters weren't wrong and that also that I probably have some black ancestry due to the location of where Morocco is. I corrected him and was like, no, my family knows where we came from. My mom is amazigh so I don't believe that's really black at all.. if you see the berbers you know. My dad is doukkali but he is aware of where his tribe came from---somewhere in the middle east. I am more Arab than I am black and I explained to him. Plus, going by his logic, even IF i had a distant relative who was black, that doesn't make me black. I'm arab. But then he started insisting even further and said "but that's how dna strands work we all come from one human who is the first ever so we're basically all related in some way" i mean i guess bro...? if you wanna use that logic too, might as well say that I'm every race..?

Anyway, he was just confusing me because I don't really know why he was trying to insist I was a race I'm not, especially since he's part Arab himself. He told me to take an ancestry test and used his friend as an example because she came back a very low percent black. I don't know what he was trying to achieve with that because.. well.. I don't really think that's enough to identify as black..?

anyway, I'm mostly just making this post because my whole life I really have disliked being called a race I'm not. I would constantly get comments like "oh but Morocco is in Africa---why don't you say the N-word?" or "girl you're literally black just face it" when I'm not 💔💔 also I don't get why so many people want me to say the n-word so badly just because Morocco is in Africa. That's clearly just racist and morally wrong, I am ARAB and I do not have the right or pass to say that. It's like claiming that people in Saudi Arabia can say the c-slur because they're in Asia. What's so different?

I don't know maybe I shouldn't have sent those comments in the first place but I just thought it was common sense... I didn't need him to keep insisting for a good 15 minutes that I was black and completely look past my Arab identity and heritage. That's mostly why I was upset. Even after I told him about my dad knowing about our history very well he claimed that my dad didn't live that far in the past to see if I had any black ancestors. Well okay... but he knows where we came from..? My dad is very educated in history and I doubt my boyfriend, who spends his free time at home on Discord voice calls, knows better than him. My dad is a very well educated and respected man, too.

AIO?

edit: to be clear, i do NOT find it as insulting to be called black, i think all people are beautiful. what i meant was i dislike how someone tries to put a label on me after i correct them MULTIPLE times, it doesn't matter what race it is if theyre just wrong. please do not get this twisted, it just happened to be that i get called black a lot. however, it wouldve been the same story if any other race too. my bf even started trying to say i was french, too, which is also false. thats what i was upset about, being told im something im not and that its suddenly okay for me to say slurs..?