u/Jellybeandreams98

My math teacher always puts on music during class. The playlist doesn’t have any songs from the past couple years, I don’t think. I’d say 2020 or before. There’s this one song I really want to find, but I’ve been too embarrassed to ask. It came on again today so I tried to pick out a few phrases.

It’s pretty upbeat with lots of guitar. The chorus goes something like “yeahhh you know you gotta help me out, so put me on a ____, yeahhh”. I don’t know, that’s what I heard. I think there’s also this one part that goes “I’m a soldier/be a soldier/get a soldier” something like that. Does anyone know what song it is?

15f, 5’2, 115 lbs. no regular medication, and I don’t smoke or vape or anything.

Today and yesterday I’ve had flu-like symptoms. Slightly congested, fatigue, very small fever, feeling bad in general. DayQuil and allergy medicine did not help very much, and I don’t typically get allergies anyway.

Well, I find it weird that I am having these symptoms when I had them just last month. I’ve gotten sick multiple times this year which is already more than usual for me, but once a month definitely doesn’t seem normal. However, since my last cold happened the week before my last period, and considering that I’m likely to start my next one soon, I’m wondering if that has anything to do with it. I’m a little worried and wondering what I can do about this. I’ve had my period since I was 10 and my periods have just been getting worse as time goes on, in terms of cramps and other symptoms.

That’s all. She broke up with me a few months ago. It’s actually been 80 days without her, woulda look at that. She always talked about how amazing our one year anniversary would be. But, well, stuff happens. I feel like I’m mostly over her but it’s been lonely since she left and now that it’s the day I’m just kinda like…damn. Got some interesting feelings. It was my longest relationship honestly. Don’t even know if she’s alive and doing okay, but I hope so. Probably going to be a hard day for me.

Not sure if this is the right place to ask but last time the fellow 4s commenting were super helpful and understanding.

So/sx 469, and it seems like I’m constantly trying to get closer to people but then withdrawing and becoming resentful when they don’t put in the same effort. Has anyone else been through this? I feel like I’m just overreacting or being terrible.

Like, If there is someone I like, or that I feel like I’m friends with, I’ll try to get closer to them and find a deeper emotional connection. I guess I even just want to belong when I’m with them. But recently no one has been reciprocating, or so it seems. Maybe it’s just not in the way i want them to? I’m wondering if I’m being too much, if it’s just me overreacting or something, so please tell me if I am.

Examples being, my friend of 4 years who calls me his best friend has not reached out to talk in probably over three weeks now. I am wondering how, if he called me his best friend, he could go so long without talking with me. It kind of sounds horrible to say it like that, but I don’t know how else to say it. We haven’t fought or anything, but now im feeling resentful and disconnected inside. Even when he asked me to hang out, he worded it as “my mom wanted me to ask you if you wanted to hang out sometime”. I took it to heart and feel like he doesn’t want to see me even though I know he does.

I also recently became friends with this person at school. We had long talks about life for hours some nights, so I feel really close to him now. But every single time we will come across each other, he ignores me. I am confused as to why, and hurt.

There’s a lot of other instances, like friends not asking for my number after months of talking, conversations ending with my crush when I leave it to them to progress the conversation, and I feel like I’m going crazy.

I don’t know if I’m just expecting too much from everyone around me, or if there’s something wrong with me, or what. I don’t want to be resentful, but I feel constantly rejected somehow by people I thought I had an emotional connection with, and I’m just withdrawing more and more. What can I do to deal with this? Can I get someone else’s experience, a reality check, or just anything? Is this a common thing with so/sx 4?

469 here. I feel very self aware, almost too self aware, but it’s like I’m looking at myself from an outside perspective and don’t know where to even start with improvement.

I think I am a very moody person in general. I feel like my outlook on my relationships with other people is very flawed, but it’s hard for me to change my way of thinking. I can be overly affectionate with people I like and withdrawn and uninterested with people I don’t connect with. It’s not even that I dislike them, I just do not feel connected on an emotional level and therefore find it hard to put effort into the relationship. My mom and people close to me have told me they feel like they’re walking on eggshells around me, and I don’t want that to be the case. My mom has also often told me to just be positive, to just smile, and that it seems like I just want to wallow in self pity instead of finding a solution. I guess that’s true, sometimes. But being positive or smiling when there’s nothing to smile about feels fake; it’s like I cannot physically do it.

I got out of a four year depression (lasting a big chunk of my childhood, I am currently a teen) this past year. Since, I have been in a constant “not caring” sort of mood. It’s almost like I’ve been searching for a deep connection, or a true love of sorts, and anything else is not worthy or of any concern. It’s not fair to the people around me, but I genuinely am not even sure how to build or continue a relationship of any sort when I don’t feel an emotional connection. I feel like I’m just going to keep pushing people away and ruining things for myself, and I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to be so self-centered anymore. I genuinely care a lot about the people around me and want to be close to them, but something inside me remains uncaring. I know I need to go back to therapy and am planning to ask my mom about it, but I wanted to ask here too.

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone felt something similar? What has helped you with self improvement?