u/JuicyMeans

This happened yesterday and I am still sitting in bed staring at the wall. My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. Her father is one of those traditional, hyper-disciplined guys who wakes up at four in the morning, runs marathons, and built his own business from scratch. I, on the other hand, have been stuck in a massive rut for the last six months.

Ever since I started working from home, my schedule has completely collapsed. I stay up until four in the morning playing video games, sleep through my alarms, eat takeout for almost every meal, and can barely motivate myself to get dressed before noon. The apartment reflects it, too. There are empty energy drink cans and greasy boxes on pretty much every surface.

Yesterday, my girlfriend went out to visit her mom, and I had my usual weekend plan of doing absolutely nothing. Around two in the afternoon, I was passed out on the couch. I was wearing this old, completely stretched-out pair of boxers, and I didn't even realize that my junk was basically half hanging out of them.

Suddenly, the front door opened. It wasn't my girlfriend. It was her dad. Apparently, she had asked him to drop off some heavy boxes of her old winter clothes that were taking up space in his garage, and she forgot to tell me he was coming by.

He walked into the living room holding a massive plastic crate, and just stopped dead. The apartment smelled like stale food. I scrambled awake, completely disoriented, tripped over a pizza box on the floor, and basically fell into the coffee table trying to stand up, all while my left nut was just fully out and swinging in the breeze right in front of him.

He didn't say a word. He just stood there, looked at the trash, looked down at me, and slowly put the crate down. He just nodded tightly, turned around, and walked out of the apartment.

My girlfriend called me an hour later crying. She said her dad called her right after he left and told her that I have zero drive, no discipline, and that she is wasting her time with someone who can't even clean up after himself or "keep his clothes on". She didn't break up with me, but the tone of her voice was completely different. The sheer embarrassment is eating me alive, and I honestly don't even know how to look either of them in the eye again.

TL;DR: My girlfriend’s ultra corporate dad walked into our apartment unannounced and caught me asleep on the couch with my junk fully hanging out next to a pile of trash. He thinks I'm the biggest loser alive and my relationship is officially in the trenches.

- in training, not worrying about what works the best, but rather enjoying what i’m doing. consistency beats optimization every single time, if you hate your workout you're not gonna stick to it anyway.

- ​if you have the strength, do specific work. for the back lever skin the cat, negatives, raises, band assist and regressions and it will click. for the front lever, reverse deadlifts, front lever pull ups, negatives, bands, raises. your body just needs to understand what to do, it's not super intuitive at first but you'll do it. find what suits you.

- ​stop shitting on your daily progress and skipping workouts, you actually need a routine to see real gains. rn i just use stuff like dagestan mode, thenx or even a simple notebook to track everything and keep that daily consistency going.

​at the end of the day, i realized progress is literally just the basics over and over again. but hey, what do i know

You're probably thinking this was the result of insane willpower, but I actually found it just as difficult as quitting any one of those things in isolation.

I'm going to split this into three parts: the effects I felt, my recommendations/ tips for anyone else trying it, and the context. The context is last because it's probably the least interesting but it's there to explain how long I had been trying to quit each vice for - it ranges from 1 year to 10 years.

Disclaimers: a) I used to read posts like this on the sub and think it was an exaggeration. But I genuinely feel this way - my mind was just so undisciplined that I had no idea what this could feel like.

b) I'm not here to say any one of these "vices" is bad. I just identified that I had an all or nothing mindset towards them, and I didn't like the impact it had on my life.

1 | The effects

I feel unbelievably energetic, mentally clear, confident, witty, kind, and full of love for other people. I want to share the energy I now feel with friends and family and it feels amazing to make them happy. Going out of my way to plan things or get thoughtful gifts for people, offering to help people move houses with no payment. I have shed a thick layer of selfishness I had most of my life. Everybody is saying that something in me has changed hugely.

I can plan better, I can tolerate boredom way better. Instead of reaching for my phone, I get a tea, go for a walk, tend to my plants, read a book. Books are suddenly insanely interesting. I can't put them down, just like when I was a kid. My hobbies are a million times more interesting.

I get much more done at work, and I really care about my work. I can sit and focus literally all day at work because it's super interesting again. I can sit and do my hobbies like tech projects or language learning until I get hungry, thirsty, or my brain aches.

This next part is a little bit self-indulgent, but anyway... I've been on successful dates with much more confident, smart, attractive people, because that's who I feel reflected in myself now. I feel very different on these dates - previously the brain fog or anxiety from my lifestyle would have prevented me from having lucid, flowing conversations for so long. But I can talk endlessly now and I think they can see that I genuinely like myself as well - which I didn't always feel before.

I have a better bulwark against the things I was addicted to. Breaking multiple addictions at the same time has meant that any time I need to use more willpower to resist one of them, the lack of presence of the others makes it easier to resist.

Finally, all those vices are just boring to me now. Scrolling is so uninteresting compared to a good novel or diving deep in a project.

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2 | Recommendations

Quitting everything at once means you don't need to play whack a mole with your multiple vices when you quit one. I found I could quit something for a bit, but then noticed I'd replaced scrolling with sugar, then manage sugar and go to something else.

My mindset was easily the biggest enemy before this. You need to be really, really kind and patient with yourself while you try to rewire your brain. Believe you can do it, even when your brain makes logical arguments you can't. I'm not religious but it is a form of faith - faith in yourself despite your track record.

What also worked for me personally was the mentality that I only need to make it through today. I read something that said quitting any of these things for the rest of your life feels impossible - but making it til tonight? Easy.

Besides that, I tracked my streaks and gameified my progress using the dagestan mode app alongside an LLM. This combo worked perfectly as training wheels early on, and now that the habits have set in, I don't even need it as much. The former bit of advice is a constant mantra, however.

But really, I don't think it's this specific advice that did it. I think that every person out there has one or more bits of advice that are gonna work for them personally. You need to try as much as you can to see what works for you.

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3 | Context

For context, this is where I stood on everything before attempting it.

Reddit/ YouTube/ instagram, ie "scrolling": many attempts over the last say 6 years to cut down, some successful for about a month, but often replacing one with another. At its worst, I would be on YouTube in the shower and while brushing teeth.

Added sugar: I've replaced this a bit with varied fruit. Attempted over the last 2 years, successful for about a month.

Processed food: attempted for about 1 year after it became my replacement to quitting added sugar.

Nsfw content: attempted for about 10 years. As mentioned at the start, I'm not here to recommend quitting if it's not an issue for you. But it was definitely the biggest issue for me.

Alcohol: I can resist alcohol pretty easily, and leading up to this I'd spent many months sober at a time. But when I did drink, I could easily drink way too much (if others were also binge drinking). I was halfway to sobriety, so I just decided to fully quit. This one was the easiest, but the health impacts of quitting even the occasional session has been great.

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Love you all and thank you for all the stories that inspired me over the years. I didn't think it would be possible for me but here we are.

for a long time, my attention span was completely cooked.

if i tried to study or work for even twenty minutes without checking my phone or having a video playing in the background, my brain would literally start itching.

we’ve become so addicted to constant dopamine and comfort that any form of friction feels like a crisis.

then, i stumbled on a video showing how guys like khabib and islam train back in the mountains in dagestan. it actually broke my brain.

no equipment, no AC, no phone timers and no music playing. just zero comfort and dudes doing the exact same boring repetitive work in the middle of nowhere. there's zero emotion in it, they just show up and execute because it needs to get done. and look where they fucking got thanks to this mindset.

it made me realize how soft my approach to life had been cause i kept waiting for motivation to get things done, which is why i was constantly procrastinating.

i decided to stop my own BS, mimic that exact zero hype mindset, and put myself on a brutal routine. i literally started using an app based on that dagestan discipline just to enforce it. no pomodoro BS.

you just lock in and do the boring work no matter how you feel that day.

weeks of pushing through that exact discomfort made me realize i’m finally making real progress. i’m actually building my life instead of just letting it pass me by.

building actual discipline means learning to sit with discomfort. if you only show up when you feel good you’re never going to get anywhere. and i really believe that you are only measured when the thing you need to do is the thing you least want to do.

i know im about to get downvoted into oblivion for this but idc.

we’ve completely lost the plot with this modern wellness culture. every time someone feels a minor inconvenience or slightly stressed, the immediate response is "take a mental health day, bestie" or "protect your peace."

honestly? it’s giving weak. we are literally self-sabotaging by running away from any form of discomfort.

i was just watching a deep dive on how those dagestani fighters train. zero hype, zero aesthetics, basic gyms with no music, running up mountains in freezing weather whether they "feel like it" or not. i literally downloaded dagestan mode because i was so desperate to lock in like them. no one there is crying about burnout because they actually have discipline. meanwhile, we can't even lock in for a 4-hour study session or go to the gym without a 45-minute curated spotify playlist and an iced matcha.

motivation is a scam. waiting until you "feel ready" to do hard things is exactly why everyone my age is chronically anxious and stuck in the same place.

normalizing quitting the second things get hard isn't "self-care," it’s just pure laziness rebranded as emotional intelligence. if you want to actually build resilience, you need to learn to show up when you're tired, bored, and absolutely miserable.

unfollow the wellness influencers. embrace the discomfort. raw-dog reality for once.

i know im about to get downvoted into oblivion for this but idc.

we’ve completely lost the plot with this modern wellness culture. every time someone feels a minor inconvenience or slightly stressed, the immediate response is "take a mental health day, bestie" or "protect your peace."

honestly? it’s giving weak. we are literally self-sabotaging by running away from any form of discomfort.

i was just watching a deep dive on how those dagestani fighters train. zero hype, zero aesthetics, basic gyms with no music, running up mountains in freezing weather whether they "feel like it" or not. i literally downloaded dagestan mode because i was so desperate to lock in like them. no one there is crying about burnout because they actually have discipline. meanwhile, we can't even lock in for a 4-hour study session or go to the gym without a 45-minute curated spotify playlist and an iced matcha.

motivation is a scam. waiting until you "feel ready" to do hard things is exactly why everyone my age is chronically anxious and stuck in the same place.

normalizing quitting the second things get hard isn't "self-care," it’s just pure laziness rebranded as emotional intelligence. if you want to actually build resilience, you need to learn to show up when you're tired, bored, and absolutely miserable.

unfollow the wellness influencers. embrace the discomfort. raw-dog reality for once.

i know im about to get downvoted into oblivion for this but idc.

we’ve completely lost the plot with this modern wellness culture. every time someone feels a minor inconvenience or slightly stressed, the immediate response is "take a mental health day, bestie" or "protect your peace."

honestly? it’s giving weak. we are literally self-sabotaging by running away from any form of discomfort.

i was just watching a deep dive on how those dagestani fighters train. zero hype, zero aesthetics, basic gyms with no music, running up mountains in freezing weather whether they "feel like it" or not. i literally downloaded dagestan mode because i was so desperate to lock in like them. no one there is crying about burnout because they actually have discipline. meanwhile, we can't even lock in for a 4-hour study session or go to the gym without a 45-minute curated spotify playlist and an iced matcha.

motivation is a scam. waiting until you "feel ready" to do hard things is exactly why everyone my age is chronically anxious and stuck in the same place.

normalizing quitting the second things get hard isn't "self-care," it’s just pure laziness rebranded as emotional intelligence. if you want to actually build resilience, you need to learn to show up when you're tired, bored, and absolutely miserable.

unfollow the wellness influencers. embrace the discomfort. raw-dog reality for once.

Don’t tell anyone you’re starting shit. You get a fake rush of endorphins, you get the reward of acknowledgement that what you’re stating you’re gonna do is “so great” and “good for you!” It’s fake ass praise and then you feel shame when you don’t follow through.

Keep that shit close to your chest. Celebrate your success privately. Allow yourself to cherish small daily wins and the success or change you experience will show soon enough.

At the end of the day we’re getting better for ourselves or those we love, and the expression that we’re changing or starting something without doing it is ONLY DISAPPOINTMENT to ourselves and those we love if we don’t follow through.

If you privately fail, then privately pick your shit up, and keep chugging along. Never stop starting over. Each day is a battle.

Im tryihg to use the REAL dopamine by tracking my mission progress, you can use calendar, journal, or app (apps like Todoist, life reset, Dagestan mode, DAWG or just a piece of paper can work). Seeing streaks creates dopamine reinforcement. Proof: habit tracking boosts consistency by 2x (Lally et al., 2010).

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim, that way lies madness” - Ron Swanson

Don’t tell anyone you’re starting shit. You get a fake rush of endorphins, you get the reward of acknowledgement that what you’re stating you’re gonna do is “so great” and “good for you!” It’s fake ass praise and then you feel shame when you don’t follow through.

Keep that shit close to your chest. Celebrate your success privately. Allow yourself to cherish small daily wins and the success or change you experience will show soon enough.

At the end of the day we’re getting better for ourselves or those we love, and the expression that we’re changing or starting something without doing it is ONLY DISAPPOINTMENT to ourselves and those we love if we don’t follow through.

If you privately fail, then privately pick your shit up, and keep chugging along. Never stop starting over. Each day is a battle.

Im tryihg to use the REAL dopamine by tracking my mission progress, you can use calendar, journal, or app (apps like Todoist, life reset, Dagestan mode, DAWG or just a piece of paper can work). Seeing streaks creates dopamine reinforcement. Proof: habit tracking boosts consistency by 2x (Lally et al., 2010).

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim, that way lies madness” - Ron Swanson

Don’t tell anyone you’re starting shit. You get a fake rush of endorphins, you get the reward of acknowledgement that what you’re stating you’re gonna do is “so great” and “good for you!” It’s fake ass praise and then you feel shame when you don’t follow through. Keep that shit close to your chest. Celebrate your success privately. Allow yourself to cherish small daily wins and the success or change you experience will show soon enough. At the end of the day we’re getting better for ourselves or those we love, and the expression that we’re changing or starting something without doing it is ONLY DISAPPOINTMENT to ourselves and those we love if we don’t follow through. If you privately fail, then privately pick your shit up, and keep chugging along. Never stop starting over. Each day is a battle.

Im tryihg to use the REAL dopamine by tracking my mission progress, you can use calendar, journal, or app (apps like Todoist, life reset, Dagestan mode, DAWG or just a piece of paper can work). Seeing streaks creates dopamine reinforcement. Proof: habit tracking boosts consistency by 2x (Lally et al., 2010).

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim, that way lies madness” - Ron Swanson

Most people overcomplicate discipline. Sharing it here because this worked for me when nothing else did.

What is discipline, really?

Discipline = doing what you said you’d do, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s not motivation (which comes and goes). Proof? Every Navy SEAL, monk, athlete, and entrepreneur says the same thing: motivation is temporary, discipline is permanent.

Why do most people fail at discipline?

Because they try to change everything at once. Research shows willpower is like a muscle—it fatigues if you overuse it (Baumeister’s “ego depletion” studies). People burn out by setting 10 habits instead of one.

How do you actually build discipline step by step?

Step 1 – Start stupid small

Pick one habit so tiny it’s laughable (e.g., “do 1 push-up” or “read 1 page”). Proof: BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits shows small wins compound into big ones.

Step 2 – Anchor it to a routine

Tie the habit to something you already do. Example: After brushing teeth → 1 push-up. This uses “cue-based conditioning” from neuroscience.

Step 3 – Track it daily

Use a calendar, journal, or app (I use Dagestan mode). Seeing streaks creates dopamine reinforcement. Proof: habit tracking boosts consistency by 2x (Lally et al., 2010).

Step 4 – Raise the bar slowly

Go from 1 push-up → 5 → 10. Discipline grows by progressive overload, same as muscles.

Step 5 – Remove friction

Make good habits easy and bad habits hard. Lay out clothes for morning workouts, delete junk apps. James Clear calls this “environment design.”

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