u/Junoscavern

I’ve always self punished and have a history of harming myself, but it was at its worst when my parents were too busy to punish me. I had an equilibrium of knowing they were always disappointed, worried, and unhappy with me, though. I was always in trouble to some capacity, but now no one in my life makes me feel that way except for me.

Post no-contact I am extremely hard on myself, often over very small or innocuous things. Mistakes at work especially. Its to the point my boss pulled me aside.

I get it, my wound is fresh, I’m only about 2 months out of their house, but when and how does this get better? I feel pretty scared and hopeless about it right now.

I had another meltdown yesterday. I’ve worked at this job for more than a year, and I love it, but if I make a mistake under pressure I lose myself entirely.

This is why I dropped out of college, I would sit in the parking lot, 4 years deep without even an associates to show for it, sobbing in my car for hours until the day was over. I am completely maladjusted and I worry I’ll never truly recover. I’ve been working since I was 17, you’d think something would have changed by age 22. Everything is too big, too busy, too social, I feel so stupid all the time. I can’t stop thinking about how much less I would be struggling if I had just gone to school every day instead of once a week. Gotten a baseline, had a guidance counsellor, faced adversity in real life more than online. Just venting. I really am happy now that I have moved out, but I wish I didn’t have such a long way to go.

Hello! I (22, FTM) estranged 2 days ago and unfortunately my family is resisting no-contact by involving the police. I contacted them in advance and spoke with an officer on the phone. My father filed a missing person’s report 24hrs later. The officer who did the wellness check was understanding and supportive, but I worry he will simply continue sending the police until I get a cop with a bone to pick.

This is all a ploy to get me to call him, in which I will then be verbally abused. I do not want to give into him and be verbally abused.

Any advice at all would be so appreciated. I live in TN if that helps.

Me and my fiance have everything we need to move out except for a mattress and bedframe. The prices make me nervous because I don’t want to waste money on a shitty one, but my allergies necessitate a new mattress. Where did you guys get your mattresses and bedframes and how much were they? Any brands to avoid? Thanks in advance, fellow broke twentysomethings. All the other subs are suggesting ultra pricey ones or Amazon basics.

I’m 22 years old, and for the past 6 years I’ve known I want to go NC.

I was homeschooled by evangelical conservative Christians, I am a transgender man. I’ve been biding my time and finally I have an out, I’m moving in with my fiance. I can finally access HRT instead of putting in effort to pass every second I’m outside, I can relax, I can stop living a double life, I don’t have to shush people when they say my name, and I don’t have to deal with living with people who would hate me and want me dead if they weren’t blood.

I’ve had many problems with my parents over the years, they invaded my privacy on a few occasions and punished me in ways that isolated me and traumatized me. I was even “blanket trained” as a baby, they never really cared about the mental effects so much as the catharsis of punishing me. They’ve made it pretty clear that they’ll do their best to punish me now if I ever assert myself too much. Everything about the “me” they see is a compromise and they think everything is fine. They occasionally accuse me of wanting to “pull a [friend who went NC last year’s name]” and my dad will guilt trip me and ask why I don’t like him anymore, but they really have no clue I have a plan, a move in date, and most of our amenities already.

I read here leaving a note doesn’t do much good. I know how to protect myself from legal retaliation for the most part, but how do you do it? Leaving and blindsiding them is what they deserve, but I can’t stop thinking about the aftermath, and the likelihood that they will encounter me in public, as we can’t move far yet. They’re prone to anger and lashing out verbally, and my father has expected me to emotionally coddle him since I was like 5. There’s basically no chance they’ll be able to actually harm me, but the fear and fawning are deeply ingrained. I have a mental block about the actual “day of” when I’m getting all my shit out of the house without them noticing and driving away for the last time. I just can’t imagine myself doing it. Would love to hear from people in similar situations.