u/KK33342

I was friends with a girl in my class for around 3 years, we were best friends, and I felt a little bit more but Ik not to ask her out as we openly expressed our hate to unserious relationships that young ppl have. She was the first person outside my family whom I cried to we completed eachother in ways I neither truly appreciated and took for granted until a couple months ago I took the decision to stop talking to girls because of relegious reasons and I don't regret the decision but it hurts, I talked to her and explained to her why we can't talk anymore, she wished me the best but I heard from a friend that she was shocked and confused (fair enough tbh).

After I stopped talking to her I realized how much I actually love her, her character, the way she talks, the way she carries herself, Her way of thinking , the way she helped me when I opened up to her, her looks everything I took for granted until that moment. And I just sat their with despair for multiple months and now I believe I reached the final stage of grief but I still can't get her off my mind. I dreamt of her today , the dream was pleasant and calm but even in the dream I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, also today I had a football match (soccer) and next to the pitch was a basketball court which was filled with young ladies playing basketball then I just zoned out remembering how much she loved basketball how I used to finish footbal or an extra class then I would pass by the basketball court just to see her and talk to her.

I see her sometimes in exams, she is in the same class as me but it is online due to a war (perks of being in the middle east ig), so I only see her at exam times which is done in school. She still talked in class after I took that decision, and I would stand their replying wishing I could do more . I just want to hold her hands , I want to have a deep down conversation like what we used to do, I want to hear her contagious laugh , I want to look in her eyes, I want all of that , I want HER.

The memory of her is following me everywhere I can't anymore, I don't want to forget her, but I need to so I can stay stable. How can I forget her?

I was friends with a girl in my class for around 3 years, we were best friends, and I felt a little bit more but Ik not to ask her out as we openly expressed our hate to unserious relationships that young ppl have. She was the first person outside my family whom I cried to we completed eachother in ways I neither truly appreciated and took for granted until a couple months ago I took the decision to stop talking to girls because of relegious reasons and I don't regret the decision but it hurts, I talked to her and explained to her why we can't talk anymore, she wished me the best but I heard from a friend that she was shocked and confused (fair enough tbh).

After I stopped talking to her I realized how much I actually love her, her character, the way she talks, the way she carries herself, Her way of thinking , the way she helped me when I opened up to her, her looks everything I took for granted until that moment. And I just sat their with despair for multiple months and now I believe I reached the final stage of grief but I still can't get her off my mind. I dreamt of her today , the dream was pleasant and calm but even in the dream I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, also today I had a football match (soccer) and next to the pitch was a basketball court which was filled with young ladies playing basketball then I just zoned out remembering how much she loved basketball how I used to finish footbal or an extra class then I would pass by the basketball court just to see her and talk to her.

I see her sometimes in exams, she is in the same class as me but it is online due to a war (perks of being in the middle east ig), so I only see her at exam times which is done in school. She still talked in class after I took that decision, and I would stand their replying wishing I could do more . I just want to hold her hands , I want to have a deep down conversation like what we used to do, I want to hear her contagious laugh , I want to look in her eyes, I want all of that , I want HER.

The memory of her is following me everywhere I can't anymore, I don't want to forget her, but I need to so I can stay stable, as I was making some late night snacks using a knife and I had the urge for the first time ever in my life, an urge I never felt before I stared at the knife thinking about the possibilities, maybe a way to escape the pain, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. How can I forget her?

Look I have been going through something for like 3 months now, and I can't hold it in anymore I have to tell someone.  3 months ago I took a decision to stop talking to girls and I blocked all my female contacts and stopped walking with them in skl. But since I did that I have been depressed every single day even Eid, especially for this one girl who I hadn't realized how much i liked her until I blocked her. Hr name is hanin and we were friends for 3 years she was with me in my old skl so when came to this skl we immediately started talking on the phone then we started talking alot more on the phone in WhatsApp and Instagram to the point where we started talking daily, she was my girl best friend we used to make fun of each other and bond over shared experiences in our old skl and just in random things. Tbh she was the first person outside my family who I cried to and she cried to me. We would vent to each other about our problems and solve our problems. I love her soft voice plus the way she handled me gently, like this one time we were walking together and I got distracted with a group of boys so she very gently dragged me by my hoodie and in a soft voice said anyways and then we Continued even our friends shipped us together and took pics of us walking together. So when I finally took the decision to stop contacting females I sent her a text explaining everything I sent it while I was crying. She replied with I understand you i hope the best for you. But I heard from a friend of mine that she said that it was surprising and weird. What makes things worse is that she usually talks me in class and I just reply to her wishing I could do more. Plus in the exams she sat in front of me and talked to me multiple times which made me sadder. Also after that message I would talking to people in my class and I can feel her looking at me and multiple times she gave me a side eye straight to my face after that text and I sit there screaming in my head I'm sorry forgive me. She was my best friend and I saw her more than that I saw her as a partner not just any partner a true partner since we both openly expressed our hate to these types of teenage relationships that barely last. I was willing to wait until college to ask her out since it would have been a more appropriate time. Also now I'm worried that if I don't keep in touch with her again that I will lose her by the time I go to college and start searching for the halal and I'm worried I won't find a girl like her. I feel like I hurt her I just wish that I can apologize and all go back to normal.

‎I have been going through something for like 3 months now, and I can't hold it in anymore I have to tell someone. 3 months ago I took a decision to stop talking to girls and I blocked all my female contacts and stopped walking with them in skl. But since I did that I have been depressed every single day even Eid, especially for this one girl who I hadn't realized how much i liked her until I blocked her. Hr name is (H) and we were friends for 3 years she was with me in my old skl so when came to this skl we immediately started talking on the phone then we started talking alot more on the phone in WhatsApp and Instagram to the point where we started talking daily, she was my girl best friend we used to make fun of each other and bond over shared experiences in our old skl and just in random things. Tbh she was the first person outside my family who I cried to and she cried to me. We would vent to each other about our problems and solve our problems. I love her soft voice plus the way she handled me gently, like this one time we were walking together and I got distracted with a group of boys so she very gently dragged me by my hoodie and in a soft voice said "anyways"and I still remember that , even our friends shipped us together and took pics of us walking together. So when I finally took the decision to stop contacting females I sent her a text explaining everything I sent it while I was crying. She replied with I understand you i hope the best for you. But I heard from a friend of mine that she said that it was surprising and weird. What makes things worse is that she usually talks me in class and I just reply to her wishing I could do more. Plus in the exams she sat in front of me and talked to me multiple times which made me sadder. Also after that message I would be talking to people in my class and I can feel her looking at me and multiple times she gave me a side eye straight to my face after that text and I sit there screaming in my head I'm sorry forgive me. She was my best friend and I saw her as more than that I saw her as a partner not just any partner a true partner since we both openly expressed our hate to these types of teenage relationships that barely last. I was willing to wait until college to ask her out since it would have been a more appropriate time. Also now I'm worried that if I don't keep in touch with her again that I will lose her by the time I go to college and start searching for the halal and I'm worried I won't find a girl like her.

I'm male 16 and have been watching since the age of 13. I have tried multiple times to stop but just couldn't maximum I reached was 2 weeks. It all started when I broke with my 8th grade girlfriend since I was never affectionate to anyone before after we broke up I filled the gap she left with porn and I realized the more I have contact with actual women I recover faster but here is the problem. I'm Muslim and it has been around 3 months since I took religion as my top priority and one of the things I did was cut ties to all non family female friends since it is Haram(prohibited) to have normal relations with them but that led my addiction to worsen I went from once a week to twice a day. Now I'm starting to recover more and more and I have been doing it around twice a week . But I feel like a walking contradiction since Im in the masjid with All the other religious men and I feel like a hypocrite plus what makes it worse that in the near future I'm going to start preaching with them. So I feel like a hypocrite being a religious person and interested in preaching while under the sheets I'm a addict. I really not sure what to do

I'm male 16 and have been watching since the age of 13. I have tried multiple times to stop but just couldn't maximum I reached was 2 weeks. It all started when I broke with my 8th grade girlfriend since I was never affectionate to anyone before after we broke up I filled the gap she left with porn and I realized the more I have contact with actual women I recover faster but here is the problem. I'm Muslim and it has been around 3 months since I took religion as my top priority and one of the things I did was cut ties to all non family female friends since it is Haram(prohibited) to have normal relations with them but that led my addiction to worsen I went from once a week to twice a day. Now I'm starting to recover more and more and I have been doing it around twice a week . But I feel like a walking contradiction since Im in the masjid with All the other religious men and I feel like a hypocrite plus what makes it worse that in the near future I'm going to start preaching with them. So I feel like a hypocrite being a religious person and interested in preaching while under the sheets I'm a addict. I really not sure what to do