This is all in good fun joking about one of my favorite characters and does not endorse bullying.
Ironically enough I happened to find a YouTube video which opens up with Wyatt Russell making a nose joke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTLpgmyAy_Y I love this video! One of the funniest parts is the misreading of the Shakespeare joke. X-D
Stay hydrated, everybody!
This fan-fiction involves characters from Marvel Comics. One comic revealed that the U.S.Agent and the American Kaiju were working together, so I wrote this story to make a backstory about how they met.
Scene 1
*(The scene opens with Todd Ziller, secretly the America Kaiju, eating a meal at an ordinary sit-down restaurant one evening.)
Scene 2
*(Things are casual, with a muscular man chatting with a cashier while picking up a carry-out order and other diners conversing.)
Scene 3
*(However, this changes when a nasty, entitled woman starts raising her voice.)
*Shrew: So I said, “Am I supposed to care he was in that phony War on Terror!?”
*Todd: (thinking) !?
Scene 4
*Shrew: While us decent folks had to cut corners, they got paid handsomely to invade countries for oil!
Scene 5
*Shrew: Then we still had high gas prices, so they couldn’t even do that right!
*Todd: (thinking) You little- (grawlix to indicate profanity)
Scene 6
*Shrew: I guess they had entertainment terrorizing and brutalizing the locals, though, so it was all fun & games for them! Privileged brats!
*(Todd has stood up and he’s holding his head while trying to control his breathing.)
*Todd: (thinking) Stop talking!
Scene 7
*Todd: (thinking) If I lose control, I could destroy this whole-
Scene 8
*(His thoughts are interrupted by the muscular man coming over and addressing him. We see that it’s John Walker alias Jack Daniels, secretly the U.S.Agent.)
*Jack: (friendlily) Hey, man, I didn’t see you here at first!
*Todd: (thinking) ?!?
Scene 9
*Jack: It’s me, Jack!
*Todd: Uh…
*Jack: It has been a while, hasn’t it?
Scene 10
*Jack: How about we blow this place and do some catching up? You pay your bill and I’ll have someone box up your leftovers.
*Todd: (realizes he’s giving him an out) Sounds good!
*Shrew: Excuse me! We were talking over here!
Scene 11
*Jack: I didn’t know old buzzards came out this time of night, but I can sure hear one!
*Todd: (chuckles)
*Shrew: “Old buzzard”!? Why, you-
Scene 12
*(While Jack speaks with the waitress and ignores the shrew screeching, Todd goes to the cashier and holds out some bills.)
*Todd: Give the change to my waitress.
Scene 13
*Cashier: (smiling while only taking one bill for the waitress’s tip) It’s on us tonight.
*Todd: Hmm?
Scene 14
*Cashier: We can spare a meal for a veteran now and then.
*Todd: (beginning to brighten) Well, thank you, ma’am! You all have a blessed night!
*Cashier: You too, sir!
Scene 15
*(Todd goes outside, leans against a pole, and begins to gather himself.)
Scene 16
*Todd: (thinking) I hope “Jack” doesn’t make off with my food! Then again, it’s okay if he does!
Scene 17
*Todd: (thinking) Either way I’m away from that hateful, lying, disgusting witch! I’m glad Jack stepped in! If my food was the price for that, I’m fine with it.
Scene 18
*(His concern is unfounded. Jack comes out a couple minutes later and hands him his bag of leftovers.)
*Jack: There you go! She packed it up nicely for you! Even gave you a free refill to go!
*Todd: Thank you!
Scene 19
*Todd: I…I appreciate what you did back there!
*Jack: No problem, man!
Scene 20
*Jack: By the way, don’t worry about recognizing me. We’ve never actually met.
*Todd: I see! You just saw I needed an exit strategy, right?
*Jack: Mmm-hmm!
Scene 21
*Jack: (sadly) You see, my older brother, Mikey, died over in ‘Nam.
*Todd: I’m sorry for your loss.
*Jack: Thank you.
Scene 22
*Jack: Some people on one side called people like Mikey murderers and racists, and some people on the other side, well…
Scene 23
*Jack: …they crowed about how much they supported the troops…until the troops came back broken and needing help & support, and then…
Scene 24
*Jack: …then they called people like Mikey cowards and sissies who deserved to be mocked & shunned because they didn’t just “suck it up”!
*Todd: (sympathetically) It’s messed up!
Scene 25
*Jack: I also served with some troops in the War on Terror.
*Todd: You were in the service too?
Scene 26
*Jack: I was a mechanic.
*Todd: (surprised) I see! (thinking) Either he was an actual mechanic or he was in special ops! He did some kind of important work, I can tell!
Scene 27
*Jack: What I’m saying is I understand how infuriating and painful it is when people like that…woman say hateful garbage like that. I want to snap…to do all sorts of things to make them pay…
Scene 28
*Jack: What stops me more than anything is thinking, “Mikey would have even sacrificed himself to protect people like that too.” By not going ballistic, I’m honoring his memory.
*Todd: …
Scene 29
*Todd: That’s like the saying, “It’s the soldier who serves under the flag and is buried under the flag who gives people the right to burn the flag.”
*Jack: I think about that from time to time.
Scene 30
*Jack: Are you okay to drive home?
*Todd: I took the bus. There’s a stop a couple blocks down.
*Jack: You mind if I walk with you?
*Todd: No, go right ahead.
Scene 31
*(The two begin their walk. Todd sighs.)
Scene 32
*Jack: Are you getting any assistance you need from the VA [Veterans’ Administration]?
*Todd: I can’t complain.
Scene 33
*Jack: (jokingly) Okay, now I’m beginning to doubt you’re really a veteran!
*Todd: (snorts in amusement)
Scene 34
*Todd: I’m fine. I just…
Scene 35
*Todd: …
*Jack: …
Scene 36
*Jack: You don’t like feeling like you’re going to Hulk out.
*Todd: What?!
*Jack: You don’t know that expression?
*Todd: No, I…I know what it means.
Scene 37
*Jack: We all feel like losing it at times. It’s not shameful to feel distressed about something.
*Todd: It is for me!
Scene 38
*Todd: I was always the one to take action! I was always the one to stand up and do what others wouldn’t! I was always the one to sock it to any bully with no hesitation!
Scene 39
*Todd: I was the tough guy who could take on any obstacle, and now…
*Jack: …
Scene 40
*Jack: You think that not blowing up and punching out anyone who bothers you makes you weak?
*Todd: …
*Jack: Well, let me tell you, that’s not the case!
Scene 41
*Jack: If someone can’t do things like they used to because they developed a heart condition or lost a limb or gotten PTSD, it doesn’t mean they’re weak, right?
*Todd: …Right.
*Jack: Darn straight!
Scene 42
*Jack: I wasn’t weak for not punching out that shrew, am I?
*Todd: No.
*Jack: Darn straight! Would Mikey have been weak for not punching her out?
*Todd: No, and let me guess, “Darn straight?” right?
*Jack: Darn straight! Now give yourself that same courtesy.
Scene 43
*Jack: You were trying to keep your cool in there because you didn’t want to lose control and maybe hurt innocent people, or maybe you didn’t want people to see a veteran blowing up and thinking, “Oh, I see how THOSE PEOPLE are!” right?
*Todd: Yeah.
*Jack: That doesn’t make you weak! It just means you were trying to be the bigger man and avoid causing trouble over some hateful loudmouth who doesn’t deserve the attention.
Scene 44
*Todd: You think so, huh?
*Jack: I do.
*Todd: It felt like I was wimping out.
*Jack: What, you’ve never heard of a tactical retreat? It’s a valid strategy!
Scene 45
*Jack: Look, I don’t know your situation, but I’ve learned that punching and kicking and smashing might feel satisfying, but they’re not going to make all your problems go away. I can’t make you do anything, and I don’t expect to change your mindset with just a few words of encouragement, but I suggest you get rid of this idea that anything other than getting into some no-holds barred wrestling match any time you get upset is weak or cowardly.
Scene 46
*Jack: Sometimes refusing to throw a punch is the bravest thing of all.
*Todd: I…I get what you’re saying, though like you say, a few words aren’t going to change my mindset just like that.
Scene 47
*Todd: You seem to have a cool head-
*Jack: What?!
Scene 48
*(Jack starts chuckling…)
Scene 49
*(…and then bursts into full-on laughter)
*Todd: ?!
Scene 50
*Todd: What’s so funny?!
*Jack: (still amused) Sorry! It’s just that I’m known for NOT having a cool head!
Scene 51
*Jack: I used to be known as one of the brashest and most hot-headed guys around! Shoot, some would say I still am! My associates make jokes about it, and they’d laugh too if they heard what you just said about me! I still have bouts of temper, but I’m a lot better than I used to be.
Scene 52
*Jack: I’ve sworn to be a kinder, gentler berserker.
*Todd: (amused) What?! What even is that?
*Jack: That’s what I am, obviously!
Scene 53
*Jack: Change can be hard, but I’m telling you, it’s possible. You’re not alone in whatever you’re going through.
*Todd: Yeah. Thanks.
Scene 54
*Jack: Some change happened recently and it’s got you shaken up, right?
*Todd: What makes you think that?
*Jack: I’ve seen a few things. I know it’s not my business, but…
Scene 55
*(Jack stops, causing Todd to stop too. Jack looks to see if they’re alone…)
Scene 56
(…and then whispers.)
*Jack: …you’re a Mut- (stops himself from saying “Mutie”, which is considered a slur by some people in the Marvel Universe) You’re a Mutant, right?
*Todd: (surprised) What?!
Scene 57
*Todd: No, that’s not it.
*Jack: Look, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I’ve worked with-
*Todd: Okay, but that’s still not it!
*Jack: Okay. Sorry.
Scene 58
*Jack: You didn’t just wake up and suddenly have powers?
*Todd: No. It’s not like that.
Scene 59
*Jack: (picks up a small and somewhat flat, but still hard and solid rock) You bought powers from the Power Broker or somebody, and now you’re having complications.
*Todd: That…That’s closer.
Scene 60
*Todd: What makes you assume I have some kind of powers?
*Jack: (holding the rock with both hands) Like I said, I’ve seen a few things.
Scene 61
*(Jack strains…)
Scene 62
*(…and snaps the rock into two pieces like snapping a pencil.)
Scene 63
*Jack: (handing piece over to Todd) Like I said, you’re not alone in whatever you’re going through.
Scene 64
*(Jack pulls out a notepad, writes something, and tears out the page.)
Scene 65
*Jack: (offers paper) Here’s my contact information. Feel free to drop me a line sometime.
*Todd: Sure!
Scene 66
*(The two reach the bus stop. They sit on the bench and chat while finishing their meals.)
Scene 67
*(Eventually the bus comes and the two part ways.)
Scene 68
*(A week or two later, Jack gets a letter among his other pieces of mail.)
Scene 69
*(He does a double take at the name.)
*Jack: (thinking) Wait, Todd Ziller!? The American Kaiju!?
Scene 70
*(He reads the letter.)
Scene 71
*Jack: (thinking) So that’s who that was! That explains some things!
Scene 72
*(He makes a phone call.)
Scene 73
*(Days later, Todd meets with U.S.Agent)
*Todd: Reporting for duty, sir!
*U.S.Agent: At ease!
Scene 74
*Todd: I got the report that you wanted to work with me.
*Agent: Yes, I thought we’d work well together. Also, there’s no need for the “sir” since we’ll be working as equals.
Scene 75
*Todd: It makes sense for us to be working together.
*Agent: (reaching into utility belt) It does, though somehow I never realized it…
Scene 76
*Agent: (takes out piece of rock) …until I learned you were the guy I happened to come across recently. Thank you for reaching out to me!
*Todd: (recognizes rock) That was you?! You’re Jack?!
Scene 77
*Todd: That explains some things!
*Agent: That was my reaction too!
Scene 78
*(The two shake hands)
*Agent: I’m looking forward to this!
*Todd: Let’s roll!
I got these photos from https://www.mercari.com/u/pearlsandlace22/
These are little John Walker head-canons that I don’t have much evidence to think are true, but I can see them being true.
Comics John (meaning the 616 universe/mainstream universe John. Let’s not get into those inferior comic book universe depictions)
*John has a better understanding of “Born in the USA” than people realize.- “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen is a song many people misinterpret. A number of people don’t pay attention to the lyrics and assume it’s meant to be a straight-up patriotic anthem, but it’s actually about Vietnam War veterans being neglected by their country and having hardships. When John first burst onto the scene as Super-Patriot II, one of his characteristics was a fanship of Springsteen. At first I thought, “Oh, I get it. It’s meant to show that John poses as a patriot, but has a lack of understanding,” but then I wondered, “Is that really all there is to it?” John’s dearly departed brother, Mikey, was a Vietnam veteran who developed psychological issues and was eventually killed in action, so John would be aware of the struggles faced by veterans and their families. This means that while he considered himself a super-patriot, he wouldn’t be as likely to take a surface level interpretation of the song like some people were doing. With Mark Gruenwald gone, we can’t ask him about it, but we do know that Gruenwald made John a complex character instead of some one-dimensional stereotype, so it could be that John being a fan of “The Boss” was meant to be layered as well.
*John is against people on either extreme of the political spectrum because of how they treated Vietnam veterans like Mikey.- I have a fan-fiction written in which John confides, “Some people on one side called people like Mikey murderers and racists, and some people on the other side, well…they crowed about how much they supported the troops…until the troops came back broken and needing help & support, and then…they called people like Mikey cowards and sissies who deserved to be mocked & shunned because they didn’t just ‘suck it up’!” This was bound to have an effect on young John, and the result was while John has definite beliefs, he hates extremists. This would have been intensified by his battles against The Watchdogs, and his former friends betraying him under the names Right-Winger and Left-Winger probably didn’t help things either.
MCU John
*The reason he feels being an absent/distant father is his lowest point is because he feels he let everyone down and has lost everything.- People have wondered why Thunderbolts* portrayed John being emotionally unavailable as his lowest point and not Lemar’s death or anything he experienced in combat. I think it’s because to John it’s the symbol of not being there for anyone and not justifying anyone’s faith in him. When he lost people as a soldier, he could think, “At least I have Lemar and my family!” When he lost Lemar as Captain America, he could think, “At least I can use my position to avenge him, and I still have my family!” When he lost his position, he could think, “At least I still have my family!” If he feels he’s lost his family, he feels he’s truly lost everything. He feels he’s let down his wife and child, Lemar, the rest of Lemar’s family, everybody.
Either comics John or MCU John
*John is actually an expert at using the metric system just to show he can.- There’s nothing to support this, but I just randomly thought, “I bet John learned the metric system because he heard someone claim, ‘Oh, those dumb Americans don’t know about the metric system!’ and wanted to prove them wrong.” Imagine a story in which he just effortlessly converts something from imperial to metric and then just looks smug while everyone else is shocked.
Share your own below (unless it’s some inappropriate fan-fiction or trying to start an argument).
After August I’m taking a long break from buying figures.
One of my hobbies is making my own comics, and one of them is a fan comic called Steve and John and Sam and Lemar and Bucky Are Friends. Sometimes it has a serious tone and sometimes it has a comedic tone. Since a couple of the installments have cameos by Tony and/or Rhodey, I thought I’d share them here (both as comics and transcripts). You’ll notice one thing that makes my fan comics different from a lot of the fan art out there: Since I’m not great at drawing people, all the characters are half-human/half-bird of prey [Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and John Walker/Jack Daniels are eagle men, Lemar Hoskins, Tony Stark, James Rhodes, and Clint Barton are hawk men, and Sam Wilson is a falcon man (Whenever I get around to introducing Joaquin Torres, he’ll be a falcon man as well)].
The hospital room
This is the first installment and it has a serious tone. It deals with a stupid criticism against U.S.Agent that he’s somehow less of a hero because he “bought his powers” (paying the Power Broker to undergo an augmentation process). He’s suffering physical & psychological distress in the hospital when he receives encouragement & comfort from an unexpected source. I hadn’t thought about this when making the comic, but John hallucinating Iron Man as a monster when actually he’s in the hallway concerned about John’s recovery is symbolic of some people’s perception in a way. Some people view Tony as some horrible, antagonistic monster when really he’s supposed to be the supportive guy who cares about people.
Scene 1
*(Hawkeye and Iron Man meet in a hospital corridor)
*Hawkeye: (serious and concerned) How’s Agent?
*Iron Man: He saved the day, but he got exposed to a powerful poison in the process.
Scene 2
*Iron Man: It’s a strong hallucinogenic. Even with his augmented system, he’ll have a bad time until it’s purged.
*Hawkeye: Dang it!
Scene 3
*Iron Man: I didn’t know you cared.
*Hawkeye: (embarrassed since there were times he and U.S.Agent didn’t get along) Oh, uh…I don’t.
Scene 4
*Hawkeye narration: I just want the blowhard to get back into fighting shape, that’s all.
*(The scene shifts to U.S.Agent’s hospital room. The superhero is clearly unwell- lying in bed with an IV connected to his arm, wearing an oxygen mask as he breathes heavily, and sweating profusely as his system combats the effects of the poison)
Scene 5
*(Agent continues to sweat and breathe heavily)
Scene 6
*(He begins to hallucinate)
*Frightening voice: Jack…
*(Agent’s eyes begin to open to see who spoke)
Scene 7
*(The room’s appearance distorts due to the hallucinogenic, becoming a large and almost empty space. John looks up to see the frightening voice belongs to a giant, terrifying monster resembling a distorted version of Hawkeye.)
*Imaginary Hawkeye monster: (grins sadistically) You’re a fraud!
Scene 8
*(Another giant monster, this one resembling a distorted version of Iron Man, appears as well. In the hallucination, the bed is nowhere to be seen. John is now standing and wearing just his shorts.)
*Imaginary Hawkeye monster: You’re just a nobody who bought his superpowers!
*Imaginary Iron Man monster: (displaying a malicious, fang-filled grin) You’re a stooge, John! You’re not one of us and never will be!
*John: (alarmed, but defensive) No, you’re wrong!
Scene 9
*John: It doesn’t matter how I got my powers! So what if I’m not like you!?
Scene 10
*John: I’m a hero too! You have no right to-
*Mysterious voice: John?!
Scene 11
*(There is now a third giant monster. He seems familiar yet frightening to John, and his body is covered with open, bleeding wounds. The Hawkeye and Iron Man monsters are nowhere to be seen.)
*Patriotic monster: (concerned) John, what are-
*John: (alarmed) Stay away from me!
Scene 12
*(John manages to grab ahold of the monster’s wrist and squeezes it forcefully. There is a loud cracking sound as the monster cries out in pain)
Scene 13
*John: How do you like that!?
Scene 14
*Patriotic monster: (pleadingly) Please, don’t…
*John: (confused) Hmm?!
Scene 15
*(John sees that the monster wasn’t pleading to him, but to the now alarmed and confused Hawkeye and Iron Man monsters)
*Patriotic monster: Don’t attack him! Just let me talk to him!
Scene 16
*(John is unsettled and confused about why the monster is defending him from the other monsters.)
Scene 17
*Patriotic monster: (speaking with understanding and kindness) John…I don’t know what you’re seeing, but it sounds like something was dredged up.
Scene 18
*(The monster starts to shrink and his wounds stop bleeding)
*Patriotic monster: People have judged you for how you got your powers?
*John: (deciding to open up to the monster) …Yes.
*Patriotic monster: Well, they’re wrong.
Scene 19
*(The monster’s wounds disappear and it becomes less distorted as it shrinks some more)
*Patriotic monster: (reassuringly) It doesn’t matter how you got powers; what matters is how you use them.
*John: Battlestar said something like that too. (https://www.reddit.com/r/USAgent/comments/1llzjdi/remember_in_captain_america_343_when_steve_was/ )
*Patriotic monster: Smart man.
Scene 20
*(The monster is now almost John’s size, and John is less fearful.)
*Patriotic monster: People have criticized how I got my powers too, but I don’t let that stop me. I just do what I can.
*John: Me too.
Scene 21
*(The monster is now John’s size and is much less distorted and monstrous.)
*John: I know I haven’t always been the best or the most selfless person, but I do try to be a hero.
*Patriotic monster: (smiles) I know. I’m glad.
Scene 22
*Patriotic monster: We may fight sometimes, but you’re as much a hero as any of us.
*John: (smiles) That means so much to me! You don’t-
Scene 23
*(The hallucination starts to end. We see that John is actually still in bed, sitting up instead of actually leaving the bed and standing. John groans in discomfort and exertion.)
*Patriotic monster: Lie back down now and rest some more.
*John: (weakly) Yeah…
Scene 24
*(U.S.Agent lies back down. He is still sweating and breathing heavily, but he’s now resting under the covers. With the hallucination over, we see that the patriotic monster he was seeing was actually a distorted version of Captain America/Steve Rogers who had come to check on him, entering his room before anyone else. We see that his wrist is painful from Agent fearfully grabbing it and cracking the bones. A surprised Iron Man and a gaping Hawkeye, having entered the room when Cap’s wrist was cracked, stand by and watch silently.)
*Captain America: (respectfully and compassionately) Rest easy, soldier.
Tony isn’t in the second installment, but I thought I’d include it just to show the aftermath of the previous scene.
The hospital corridor
Scene 1
*(John, having recovered almost completely from his poisoning, is changing into his U.S.Agent costume when there’s a knock on the door of his hospital room.)
Scene 2
*(Battlestar/Lemar Hoskins enters)
*Battlestar: (playfully) Just wanted to check on my favorite stubborn knucklehead!
*U.S.Agent: Hey, great to see you, man!
Scene 3
*(The two friends and heroes exchange a manly handshake.)
*Battlestar: How’s it going?
*Agent: I had a terrible time yesterday, but I’m right as rain today!
Scene 4
*(Agent goes to the bed to get his utility belt, but he gets dizzy. Battlestar looks confused and concerned as Agent grunts in discomfort and staggers.)
Scene 5
(Thankfully Agent is okay)
*Battlestar: (playfully) “Right as rain”, huh? Looks like “the vapors” to me!
*John: (grunts again) I’m just a little peckish [hungry], that’s all! Don’t ride me, man!
*Battlestar: Well, then…
Scene 6
*Battlestar: (gestures toward cafeteria) Let’s see what the cafeteria has so you won’t have to be stuck with hospital food!
*Agent: (finishes putting on belt) Sounds great! I’m buying!
*Battlestar: No objections from me!
Scene 7
(With Agent’s dizziness dissipated, the two walk down the hospital corridor.)
*Agent: (playfully) I’ll go slowly for once so I don’t have to end up leaning on you.
*Battlestar: (playfully) That’s good, but why stop now?
*Agent: Hmph!
Scene 8
*(They spot Captain America walking in the opposite direction. They don’t notice his wrist at first)
*Captain America: (surprised, but smiling) Oh…hello, guys!
*Agent: You’re here too, old timer?
Scene 9
*Agent: It’s not something serious, is it?
*Cap: (sees Agent is in good shape) No. It turns out things are fine.
*Agent: Good.
Scene 10
*Agent: (playfully) As much trouble as you get into, I’m surprised that-
Scene 11
*(Agent stops in surprise…)
Scene 12
*(…as he notices that Cap is wearing a wrist brace.)
Scene 13
*Agent: Your wrist…
*Cap: (reassuringly) Oh… It’s nothing you should worry about, really.
*Battlestar: (surprised and concerned as well) Did you get into a scrap?
*Cap: No, nothing like that.
Scene 14
*Cap: I just got a little careless yesterday, that’s all. I’ll be fine again soon enough.
*Battlestar: That’s good.
*(Agent lowers his head and smiles as he realizes the monster that spoke kindly to him and reassured him despite Agent injuring him in fear wasn’t an imaginary figure, but Captain America giving genuine support.)
Scene 15
*Cap: Well, I’d better-
Scene 16
*(Agent rushes forward and yanks Captain America to prevent him from leaving so soon, surprising & confusing both Cap and Battlestar)
Scene 17
*(Agent is a little dizzy again from the exertion, but he’s still in good spirits.)
*Agent: Come on, Captain, you’re having lunch with Battlestar and me- and don’t even think about opening your wallet!
*Cap: (surprised, but glad) Well, since you asked so nicely…
Scene 18
*Battlestar: (amused) Hmph! (thinking) What did those two do this time?
The text-to-speech issue
This is the fifth installment and it was inspired by watching a text-to-speech YouTube video which misread “Atlanta, GA” as “Atlanta, Guh” instead of “Atlanta, Georgia.” My reaction was the same as Rhodey’s. I apologize for the heights and such being erratic. This is all in good fun and no insult is intended.
Scene 1
*(Captain America alias Steve Rogers, James “Rhodey” Rhodes alias War Machine, and Tony Stark alias Iron Man are looking over some kind of blueprint or other drawing)
*Rhodey: We of course took air resistance into account.
*Captain America: That’s good!
Scene 2
*(U.S.Agent alias John Walker and Jack Daniels storms into the workshop. He’s holding a small electronic device somewhere between a smart phone and an Avengers Identicard)
*U.S.Agent: (irate) Stark, you need to fix your dang-
Scene 3
*(Agent stops when he sees Captain America and Rhodey are there. He gives a friendly smirk and wave, which they return)
*Agent: Oh, hey, Rhodey! Hey, old timer!
*Rhodey: Hey, Jack!
*Cap: Hey, John!
Scene 4
*Tony: What’s the problem?
*Agent: (irritated) It’s the dang text-to-speech program for the database you made! I was listening to my entry-
Scene 5
*Agent: -and don’t y’all act like you wouldn’t be listening to your entries!
*Rhodey: Hey, you’d be the first to spot any mistakes!
*Cap: True.
*Agent: Thank you!
Scene 6
*Agent: Here, just listen! (plays device)
*Text-to-speech audio: U.S.Agent, alias John Walker and Jack Daniels.
*Tony: Mmm-hmm?
Scene 7
*Text-to-speech audio: Native of Custer’s Grove, Guh.
*Tony: Oh…
*Cap: Oh!
*Rhodey: Oh.
*Agent: (with “Now you see the problem!” tone) Oh!
Scene 8
*Agent: (puts away device) What part of the country is the state of “Guh” in?! I wasn’t born and raised in the state of Guh! The Olympics weren’t held in Atlanta, Guh!
Scene 9
*Rhodey: (jokingly sings to the tune of “Georgia On My Mind”) Guhhh…
Scene 10
*Rhodey: Guh-uh…
*(Agent smirks and snorts in amusement)
Scene 11
*Rhodey: The whole day through…
*Cap, Tony, and Agent: (singing) The whole day through…
*Rhodey: Just an old sweet song keeps Guh on my mind
Scene 12
*Agent: That…That actually had a good sound. Thank you for that.
*Tony: I agree!
*Rhodey: No problem!
Scene 13
*Agent: (jokingly) If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be seeing if it pronounces C.A.’s home state as “Nye” or “Nee”. [Steve Rogers is from New York, abbreviated NY]
*Tony: Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.
*Agent: Good! (He leaves)
Scene 14
*(Tony sighs)
*Rhodey: Hey, we all make mistakes.
*Tony: Yeah.
Scene 15
*Tony: Mine was asking Hawkeye to help with the text-to-speech program.
*Rhodey: (shocked) Dude, what!?
*Cap: (face palms) Oh, my gosh…
This one-panel comic is an unofficial entry of my fan comic, Steve and John and Sam and Lemar and Bucky Are Friends, which uses characters from Marvel Comics. The warped patriot Nuke (Frank Simpson) is in a holding cell. David Colton, one of the heroes to wear the Captain America mantle, has arisen from the table to bring him a tray with half a hamburger and some French fries, part of his own supper. David is looking back at U.S. Agent (John Walker alias Jack Daniels), who has gotten his attention. Agent certainly doesn’t like Nuke at all, but he’s begrudgingly holding up a tray with half a burger and some fries for David to take. The bottom text reads, “U.S. Agent John Walker and Captain America David Colton guard Nuke until he’s taken back into custody. John would have been fine with the bread and water treatment. Let the American nightmare’s stomach rumble! If David can spare a few bites for the tortured soul, however, he supposes he could spare a few bites for a veteran. Hey, once David takes the tray, it’s his decision on what to do with it, right?”
Wartortle: He represents age and experience, just like me! Charmeleon: He's a firebrand, just like me! Ivysaur: He's sitting there aura farming, just like me!
This is the ninth installment of my fan comic Steve and John and Sam and Lemar and Bucky Are Friends, fan-fiction I made using Marvel Comics characters. As noted, this was inspired by a scene from the comic Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #3 from 2004 or 2005. https://www.reddit.com/r/CaptainAmerica/comments/1pu3m3s/one_of_the_most_underrated_goated_moments_of_steve/ I thought about U.S.Agent’s brother dying in the Vietnam War and decided to make an extended version of the scene touching on that. This is the first time since the first two installments that I made a serious comic.
Scene 1
*[A note at the beginning explains, “The first four panels were inspired by Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #3 (2005) by Joe Casey, Scott Kolins, and Wil Quintana.”]
*(We see Captain America, alias Steve Rogers, and Rick Jones at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. A POW-MIA flag flies and a crowd of silhouetted people watch in the foreground while Cap, crouching down, silently & intently reads names off the wall and Rick Jones, hands in pockets, looks around awkwardly.)
Scene 2
*(Rick continues to look around in confusion and impatience while Cap, somber as a grave, continues reading.)
Scene 3
*Rick Jones: Uhhh, Cap…? I was, uh, just wondering…how much longer are we gonna be here?
Scene 4
*Captain America: (solemnly and not taking his eyes off the wall) For as long as it takes for me to read every name on this wall. For as long as it takes to acknowledge every soldier that died in a war I wasn’t in.
Scene 5
*(A note announces, “This point on is my original work.”)
*(His attention shifts to U.S.Agent, alias John Walker and Jack Daniels, walking up to the wall and asking him a question. The area he goes to is conveniently close to where Cap is reading.)
*U.S.Agent: How about this name, C.A.? (He reverently touches the wall.)
Scene 6
*(As Agent stares sadly, Cap arises and goes to see the name in question. He gapes slightly in surprise…)
Scene 7
*(…as he sees the name by John’s fingertips is “Michael Walker”. He understands that it’s Mikey, John’s dearly departed brother whose memory John idolizes.)
Scene 8
*Cap: (keeping mum to protect Agent’s secret identity) I’m sure he was a very good soldier.
*Agent: (whips head around to face him) “Very good”?!
Scene 9
*(John looks aggravated, but we can see tears forming in his eyes.)
*Agent: He was better than all of us! He-
Scene 10
*(Agent stops, then faces the wall again and bows his head.)
Scene 11
*Cap: (lays his hand on the shield on Agent’s back as a show of solidarity and comfort) It sounds like he was one of the greatest. I’m sure he was an excellent man, and I’m sure his family misses him very much.
*Agent: (wiping eyes) Yeah.
Scene 12
*Cap: (sincerely) On behalf of my generation…on behalf of every generation…I apologize for any time he & the others were shunned & mocked & belittled & treated as lesser. That never should’ve happened.
*Agent: (moved, but quiet) Thank you.
Scene 13
*(The two stand in silent camaraderie, heads bowed, with John continuing to touch the wall and Steve continuing to touch John’s shield.)
https://www.deviantart.com/karaoaliasraidra/art/Memorial-1337144852
Recently I got a weathered but charming U.S.Agent figure. I saw someone on eBay selling a shield for a U.S.Agent action figure, but he wanted six dollars for shipping. Six dollars for a small piece of plastic you could send in a regular envelope with tape and two stamps. It reminded me of the Richard Jeni routine about room service. “The muffin! That’ll be six dollars!” “Do you have a straw?” “What for?” “Well, for that price I figure there must be cocaine in the nooks and crannies!” Like John at the beginning of his career, I thought, “Eff you, I can do it better!”
Previous post- https://www.reddit.com/r/ActionFigureGeek/comments/1shos0j/youve_heard_about_weird_barbie_so_now_meet_weird/
Edit- Before anyone asks, "You think six dollars is too high?" it depends on what it is. This morning I bought a loose action figure and didn't bat an eye at paying six dollars for shipping since it was something that would need to be put in a box with bubble wrap and/or wadded paper to arrive in good condition. If I'm buying or shipping pins/buttons, I don't bat an eye at paying six dollars for shipping since at the very least they'll need a bubble mailer or layers of bubble wrap to prevent crushing and/or puncture damage. If it's just a little piece of sturdy plastic from an ordinary figure, however, I raise an eyebrow.
I previously showed this page from Captain America #401 when debunking that “The patriotic superheroes all hate each other!” nonsense that fake fans and bad writers claim.
One day I was thinking about the clasping hands meme and thought, “Why I don’t I take the shaking hands panel from that scene and make it our own version of the clasping hands meme?” To give an example, here’s a template:
Here’s the template in use:
“Um…did you accidentally switch the balloons there?” Nope! John Walker is two things: John Walker’s biggest fan and John Walker’s harshest critic.
Feel free to use this template (or an improved version of it) as long as the intent isn't mean-spirited toward anybody, the meme isn't deceptive or sexual, and the meme doesn't promote hatred (For instance, don’t use it to attack fans of other characters just because they prefer other characters over John. Be better than that).
I plan to post this page from Avengers West Coast #100 a couple places on June 1 to note that June is Men’s Mental Health Month and PTSD Awareness Month (with June 27 being National PTSD Awareness Day). As I reread the page I reflected on what a bro Rhodey was, and so I thought I’d go ahead and post my observations now instead of waiting.
The context is just before this John Walker alias Jack Daniels, the U.S.Agent, was in the sauna when he experienced a flashback which also led to a hallucination about the murder of his parents, causing him to scream out in terror before holding his head to try to gather himself. This causes concern among his fellow Avengers who go to check on him (which goes against that stupid “Oh, all the heroes hate each other!” claim some people want to make. There’s a difference between trading barbs/having the occasional squabble and having a bone-deep loathing). Note how Rhodey handles the situation.
*He asks if Agent is all right. He doesn’t scold him or belittle him or look down on him for having a mental health episode or a moment of fear & despair, instead showing his concern and seeing if he needs help. I can’t tell if he’s the one asking, “Anything you want to talk about, Agent?” in the second panel or if it’s one of the heroines (My guess is it’s Scarlet Witch saying, “I think so,” and Spider-Woman asking, “Anything you want to talk about, Agent?”), but really it’s a moot point since he’s already expressed concern.
*He stays a moment to make sure he’s really all right. He doesn’t just go, “Okay, cool!” and dip; he waits to see for himself what his condition is like before doing anything else.
*He doesn’t get mad when John snaps at them while still reeling from his flashback. He doesn’t go, “Dude, what the frick!?” or try to argue with him, instead turning to leave because it seemed Agent wanted to be left alone and was okay enough to be left alone. While typing this I remembered that Rhodey was said to have PTSD at one point, so it’s possible he had moments in which he snapped at people & then regretted it and so he understood what it was like (Tony famously battled his own demons, so he might have had experience from being Tony's friend as well).
*When Jack softens and admits there’s something he needs to do, Rhodey doesn’t feel smug or hold a grudge about being snapped at a few seconds earlier, instead asking, “Can we help?” and accepting Agent’s response.
I feel there’s a lot of emotional intelligence from Rhodey on this page. It also demonstrates that while there are times a hero needs to fire a laser or lift a house, sometimes a superhero just needs to show some compassion and understanding. There’s a famous saying that if you can’t imagine a writer’s depiction of Batman helping a child, then that is not Batman. Before I’ve added if you can’t imagine a writer’s version of Captain America helping someone in despair, or even offering a simple kind word or protective gesture, then that is not Captain America. Now I add if you can’t imagine a writer’s version of Rhodey being a bro, then that is not Rhodey.
