u/Key-Fee-2266

I've been reading about shutdowns to try and better understand and support my husband.

How do you navigate the afterwards? I have ADHD and his shutdowns often trigger my rejection sensitivity and we just end up not speaking for a few days which I don't think is healthy. I am trying actively to remind myself it's not me personally but it's hard not to feel this way when his shutdowns are often triggered by me trying to address certain issues or topics (which I always do super gently) but it's starting to make me feel like I can't talk to him about anything we need to talk about. We have a baby. That's not good. We need to be able to talk. Post partum is rough of couples already. Us not talking is making it worse, and it's drying up our marriage.

We used to talk, but something has changed and the shutdowns have increased. He does have a lot going on at the moment, which we need to have discussions about, but we don't really move forward because he goes silent and then won't speak to me for days apart from 1/2 word answers. Then when he snaps out of it, he's so happy that I think "now's not really the time to bring this up again" so my RSD puts it off, and then when I do gather the courage, it happens again.

I really want to help him, and us navigate this from an understanding place, but I'm struggling to carry the weight of everything. How on earth do you find a balance!? If anyone can relate, how do you support your partner but also navigate the conversations that have to happen as a part of life, and relationships?

Anyone else feeling the mental health support falls short?

I've previously had counselling years ago and I was half way through training to be a counsellor before getting pregnant. I consider myself self aware and overall quite resilient as a person.

I'm 6 months post partum and I'm struggling. Low mood, quite dark thoughts. Baby girl is the only thing keeping me going. I don't feel any concerns around her or towards her. I feel disconnected from my husband, family and friends. I go to one baby class on a Wednesday but I have struggled to meet other Mums.

I'm in Chester, GP receptionist thought I should speak to the health visiting team but the support you're advised to look at through them is the 0-19 starting well resources. It's all links to self help forms. No actual help from a professional. Do I contact GP again? Or do I just struggle on and hope it passes? I'm self aware enough to know I'm not suicidal but I am not myself and my thoughts are not what they'd usually be either. I feel poisonous.

Just looking for how others handle it. I have a 6 month old baby who I am at full capacity with as she is not sleeping and my husband works full time. I'm struggling so much but don't feel I can talk to him about it because he has stuff going on himself. We have his son (12) every other weekend and used to have him for the full holidays when he was self employed and could choose his time off but now he's employed with limited holidays, he can't.

He seems pissed off that I won't have him full time on my own over school holidays. He's a good kid but in my eyes, he needs entertaining and I don't have the capacity, time or space to do that. At home at his Mum's, he can go out with his mates or he spends time off with extended family members. BM has a big family who are around to help with childcare. My husband doesn't and neither do I. I feel like I'm on my own with the baby even when he is around. When we do have his kid on weekends, all the baby stuff and cooking lunch and dinner ends up completely left to me. I can't do that at the moment for a full week, I just can't. I'm so tired.

How do you guys handle it all?

My current routine is:

AM- cleansing balm, hyaluronic acid, azelaic (sandwiched between layers of moisturiser), SPF

PM - cleanse, sometimes double cleanse for SPF if I've been reapplying, Soolantra, I then wait for 30-40 minutes, apply HA and then moisturise.

I don't feel the azelaic acid is working, and I'm coming to the end of my Soolantra (3 months) it's worked wonders but I'm wanting a product to maintain and carry on getting rid of redness.

Any recommendations? I've had a look at Anua, Erborian and also considered the ordinary soothing serum, the pink one, just not sure what to go with! My skin can be dry and sensitive. I'm convinced the ordinary azelaic has dried it out further which is why I'd like to swap it out.

Thanks!

I have been to the GP this morning. They swabbed the blood, dressed the wound and I have to go back on Friday when they get lab results back.

I'm just curious whether anyone else has experienced this before? I've also got what feels like period cramps but slightly sharper pain than that, and a constant dull ache. I didn't want to Google as I'm sure it'll make me panic. Just thought if ask if anyone has experienced this and what it turned out to be?

I've had two messages today from items I've favourited saying they can post today etc. I have the setting stopping this switched on for a reason, is there another way they're finding out? Or is this a bug?

I don't mean how often, I mean do you have a nap routine in the way you have a bed time routine? I think I need one. I was trying to sort of nap train my 6 month old and it worked for a while, in that when she's all red eyebrows and yawny, I'll take her upstairs, rock her a little, lie her down and then leave the room for 5 mins at a time. It was working, but she now wakes up fully.

Do you guys put them in their sleeping bag? Or do you do anything to "aid" nap time? I do use her white noise as it helps her, but not sure if I should be putting her back in the bag for sleep.

Recently introduced The Ordinary 10% Azelaic Acid into my morning routine and I thought it was working. I use BOJ cleansing balm, hyaluronic acid, then the Azelaic and then my moisturiser. Then Aveeno calm and restore SPF. I allow time for each layer to sink in.

In the evening, I double cleanse if I'm wearing makeup or SPF, then apply Soolantra, wait about an hour, then HA, then moisturiser.

I've noticed in the morning after my routine, my skin can go a bit pink/inflamed again and tingles for a few minutes. It's been relatively calm for weeks without major flares, but still a bit red, which is why I introduced the AA, but now this has happened a few times this week. The first couple of days it didn't feel any different, and no extra redness, but now seems different.

Is this normal for Azelaic introduction? Do I perservere or am I damaging my skin? I have been considering swapping to a redness relief serum like Erborian instead, if the AA is making things worse now.

Considering either the bodyshop Chamomile again, or beauty of Joseon radiance cleansing balm.

Anyone got any preference? Or can compare the two? I don't mind the chamomile one, just thought I might fancy a change. I use a balm as my first cleanse in the evening. Follow it up with Aveeno calm and restore gel cleanser usually, although I have just bought the Inkey List cream to milk cleanser to replace the Aveeno.