u/Key_Shop6647

I went to FAC in June, met a girl there, and we hit it off. Before we left, she gave me her number.

I texted her afterward, and to my surprise, she agreed to meet up. I figured if I'm going to do this, I might as well commit, so I bought a plane ticket to fly and see her.

What started as an FAC connection turned into an actual date. Passed exams --> Got FSA --> Secured a date

Also, FAC is actually a lot of fun. If you're single, don't lose the opportunity to meet new people. Worst case, you make some new actuarial friends. Best case... you end up booking a flight for a date.

Not gonna sugarcoat it: I have driver license, but I don't actually feel confident driving without FSD on. (to be frank, I still don't know how to drive lol) Merging, lane changes, judging gaps in traffic.... I just don't have the reps other people seem to have built up. FSD has been the thing letting me actually use my car day to day.

I know the disclaimers.. it's a driver-assist system, not a complete robot chauffeur yet, and I'm supposed to be ready to take over any second. I do stay alert and keep my hands ready. But if I'm honest, I lean on it way more than "assist" implies, because my actual driving skills are pretty thin.

Curious if anyone else got here the same way. Used FSD so much early on that it kind of became a crutch instead of a supplement? And if so, did you ever go back and deliberately build up your own driving skills, or find a good way to practice that isn't just "wing it in traffic"? Would rather fix this properly than just keep depending on the software........

Not gonna sugarcoat it: I have driver license, but I don't actually feel confident driving without FSD on. (to be frank, I still don't know how to drive lol) Merging, lane changes, judging gaps in traffic.... I just don't have the reps other people seem to have built up. FSD has been the thing letting me actually use my car day to day.

I know the disclaimers.. it's a driver-assist system, not a complete robot chauffeur yet, and I'm supposed to be ready to take over any second. I do stay alert and keep my hands ready. But if I'm honest, I lean on it way more than "assist" implies, because my actual driving skills are pretty thin.

Curious if anyone else got here the same way. Used FSD so much early on that it kind of became a crutch instead of a supplement? And if so, did you ever go back and deliberately build up your own driving skills, or find a good way to practice that isn't just "wing it in traffic"? Would rather fix this properly than just keep depending on the software........

Let me be honest about where I'm at.

I'm 30, male, average-looking, and dating is exhausting in a way I don't think I fully understood until recently. Not the emotional kind of exhausting.... the logistical kind. The structural kind. The "literally every modern social ritual works against how my brain operates" kind.

Here's the thing: I can't function in group settings. Bars, restaurants, loud social events. My ability to track conversation just degrades. The noise, the peripheral movement, the three separate conversations happening within earshot... it's like trying to run a complex process with half the RAM. I go quiet. Not because I have nothing to say, but because the environment has essentially blocked my output.

And here's the part that actually stings: when I go quiet in those settings, I become invisible. People stop directing things at me. Conversations flow around me like I'm not there. And if someone does notice me standing or sitting silently in the corner, not brooding, not angry, just *processing*.... the read I get back is "weird." Not mysterious, not thoughtful. Just strange. Someone who doesn't fit.

It's a feedback loop I haven't figured out how to break. The noise shuts me down → the silence makes me look odd → people disengage → I have even less to work with. Repeat.

This creates a pretty brutal bottleneck in dating. Because the standard playbook is:

→ Put myself out out there

→ Meet in a loud bar "to keep it casual"

→ Somehow demonstrate personality and connection through shouted fragments of conversation over music

And I'm just... not built for that. I'm not charming in a noisy crowd. I don't do banter-at-volume. I don't get better under chaotic social conditions. I get quieter and more internal, which reads as uninterested or boring when I'm actually just buffering.

The thing is, I know I'm *good* in 1-on-1 settings. Quiet coffee, a walk, a first date somewhere where we can actually hear each other...... those work. I come alive in those environments. I ask real questions. I listen well. I'm present.

Add "average-looking man" to this, and there's no runway. Attractive people can coast on ambiguity. They get the benefit of the doubt in low-signal environments. Average-looking guys in loud bars who go quiet? We just look like we have nothing going on.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just trying to understand: is this a fixable logistics problem (find better venues, reframe the ask), or is this a deeper incompatibility with how modern dating works? Anyone else navigate this? What actually worked?