Question for my fellow African American men (NSFW, LOL...)
Now, before I ask my question, I just wanna say, I'm just exercising my free will. So, try not to judge me lol. I find myself in a predicament and came up with a...idea of a solution. And I'd like some, um, guidance, maybe?...Idunno, but anyway...
So I'm fully verse. But usually, like 95% of the time, I top. There's like a plethora of bottoms where I'm located. And I'm ok with this. But once in a while, I get into the mood to bottom. And I'm not just saying, I want to just sit on it. No, I need ACTIOOOOOON!!! I want my soul touched. Pinned down, bust down, all around. Rounds. Till the paint drips down the walls. I'm talkin, IN ITTTTTT!!!!.
Ya know?
But, where I am, there aren't many black dudes around, and that factors into why I top most of the time. And while, I'm not against being topped by a white guy...that face, you're making right now, yeah. I feel the same way. In my mind, I only see myself being topped by other black men. Personal preference. But you also need to know what you're doing. Can't have people playing around in my bootyhole.
For example: I had one guy that had me on the bed, bent over, and had my cheeks in each hand, and kept shaking them, mumbling "sexy" whatever's. Mind you, I though he was gonna eat it. But no, he just kept shaking it, and kinda "blowing" on it or something...Then, when he put it in, his stroke was so...weak. There was plenty of dick, but he wasn't really "fucking" me. Kinda miner "taps", and "grinding", but no "stroking".
I don't want to say I was bored, but...for some of us, it takes a lot of effort to clean out. And no one whatsoever their efforts to feel wasted.
Mind you, this isn't like a fantasy or something. I know how I like to be handled when I'm in the "Downward Dog" position. I've come to realize I enjoy being "stressed out". There was this one guy, who, mind you, was two hours late, who had me pinned to the bed like a pretzel. He was assertive, long-winded, and had me stressed for a couple of hours. Outstanding.
I would like to add, this is not a size thing. It's a skill thing. I had one guy who, I admit, I prejudge. "Good size, but I've had bigger. No biggie though." I didn't think he'd be deep diving. I thought it was gonna be a standard hook-up...
This man had surgical precision. I could feel him in my toes. R. Wiggum - "I'm in danger."
So, it's fair to say my options are a bit scarce out here.
So here's my solution:
I'm thinking of trying to make connections in other places. I'm single. And I should be mingling. But in the location I'm in, there's not enough "us" for me to mingle with. And at this point in my life, don't mind taking a flight somewhere for a weekend and re-discovering where my spleen is.
Distance is a construct anyway.
So I figure if I reach out online, and connect with other black men, explain what we're looking for, yada, yada, this would be a great way to scratch this itch. Takes more time, but I'm betting on the quality of the interaction because of the time. They feel me out a bit, I feel them out a bit. Exchange some pic, FaceTime from time to time. Talk about status and boundaries.
Figure out a safety word.
Then get into it.
If I was getting my insides-turned-outside every six months, I'd be a happy camper.
And I, by no means, am looking for a male harem. Just one or two skilled individuals who can match my frequency, that I can hit up every couple months and be like "Yo, what's your weekend look like?". No complications, no hag-ups, no weird stuff, no tapping out, just two people(?) playing Twister, enjoying each other's company for a moment. And then carrying on.
My questions being:
- Is this a bit extra? Am I doing the most?
- Does anyone have this sort of dynamic, or similar, in their life? And how's that been for you, if you don't mind me asking...
- What online spaces would be the best to reach out on? ( I was thinking of A4A. God, I miss the days of "BGC"...R.I.P).
- Any questions? lol