u/Late-Direction8134 — reddlx

How do you handle non-monogamy when multiple partners need you at the same time?

Hey everyone,

I’m trying to unpack my feelings around non-monogamy. When I imagine starting an open relationship, my main hurdle isn't actually the thought of my partner being with someone else. Instead, it comes down to emotional availability and the logistics of who needs who.

First, I worry about the pressure of managing competing needs. In a monogamous relationship, if my partner needs me, I can easily drop my other plans to be there for them. But in non-monogamy, what happens if I have two partners and they both need my support at the exact same time? How do you choose without making someone feel less important?

Second, I worry about the flip side: feeling abandoned or deprioritized. If I’m going through a tough time and need my partner, but they are currently prioritizing another relationship or supporting their other partner, I know I’d struggle.

Is this a specific flavor of jealousy? It feels less about envy over who they are with, and more about a fear of losing that security of being the default "first choice" in a crisis. How do you handle the anxiety of not always being able to be there for each other?

reddit.com

u/Late-Direction8134 — 6 hours ago

▲ 0 r/polyamoryR4R

29 [M4R] Scandinavia - Software engineer seeking feminine connection⁠

I am a 29-year-old software engineer based in Scandinavia, living a life fueled by curiosity, movement, and independence. My career offers me incredible flexibility. I can easily travel and work remotely from anywhere in Europe, which matches my love for exploring new environments. I practice polyamory and am entirely focused on depth over numbers. To me, the most important element of a connection is the quality of the time we spend together, not how many other relationships you might be navigating. I am looking for a genuine, long-term romantic partnership that values mutual autonomy and presence.

Regarding my basics, I am 29, fit, active, and down-to-earth. I used to do some modeling back in college, so I appreciate aesthetics and style, but I am completely grounded. For interests and lifestyle, I love staying active and dedicated to my training, alongside a big love for nature and spontaneous travel. On quieter days, you can find me cooking at home, playing the guitar, or gaming sometimes.

In terms of my expression and identity, I am finsexual, meaning I am strictly attracted to femininity, regardless of gender. I also embrace my own fluid expression and enjoy occasional cross-dressing. My polyamorous style centers on direct, mature communication and total transparency. I value deep, committed alignment over anything casual.
I am seeking independent, emotionally mature individuals aged approximately 23 to 40 located anywhere in the world, though Europe and the EU make time zones much easier. Because of my finsexual alignment, I am looking for women, feminine-aligned non-binary folks, or anyone whose expression leans beautifully feminine. Ideally, you love good conversation, value direct communication, and are open to building a bond that transcends borders. More than anything, you are a kind, caring person who lifts up the people around you and values making real, focused time for each other.

If you are looking for a driven, supportive partner to build an amazing life with as a team, let's connect. Send me a message with a bit about where you are from, your passions, and what your ideal connection looks like. I am happy to exchange photos and more details in chat.

reddit.com

u/Late-Direction8134 — 1 day ago

▲ 2 r/r4r

[M4F] 28 • #Norway / Europe / US / Global • Software Engineer • Active, Adventurous , Childfree lifestyle

Hey there,

I am a 28-year-old software engineer originally from Norway, I have built a great life here with a solid tech career and a brilliant community of friends, but the local dating scene leans incredibly traditional. Since I am completely, intentionally childfree and looking for a non-traditional lifestyle built on flexibility and adventure, I am opening my search up globally to Europe, the USA , and beyond but mostly places where I’d be able to find a job in my profession.

I love my career and the independent life I have built, but I am ready to find a genuine, long-term romantic partner to share the journey with. Because of my profession and lifestyle, I am highly open to long-distance initially, frequent travel, and eventually relocating for the right person.

About Me
The Basics: 181 cm, athletic, fit, and socially active.

Day-to-Day: Being driven and down-to-earth. I enjoy dressing sharp and exploring cities, having a full calendar of activities but I am just as happy cooking a great meal at home or relaxing on the couch with a cat and should probably start doing that more.

Interests: Huge Formula 1 fan, active in martial arts, love good food, nature, and I am always excited to plan a spontaneous trip or explore a new country. I also love karaoke and playing the guitar too.

Intentions: I value direct, transparent, and mature communication. I am looking for a deep, committed long-term partnership, not anything casual.

My Childfree Stance
I have taken the time to thoroughly reflect on what I want out of life, and I do not want children. I want a future focused on freedom, spontaneity, travel, and deeply investing in my partner without the domestic timeline of raising a family. I am strictly looking for a woman who shares this definitive lifestyle choice.

What I Am Looking For
I am seeking an independent, emotionally mature woman (approx. 24–34) located anywhere in the world(although tbh EU would be much easier) who is also confidently childfree. Ideally, you love an active lifestyle, you’re relatively athletic, appreciate good conversation, and are open to exploring a connection that transcends borders. You are also ideally a caring person who likes doing good to the people around you.

If you are looking for a driven, supportive partner who wants to focus entirely on building an amazing life together as a team, send me a message. Tell me a bit about where you are from, your career or passions, and what your ideal childfree future looks like. Please include photos as well. My photo is below and can send more.

https://imgur.com/a/hFVma6k

u/Late-Direction8134 — 3 days ago

▲ 25 r/norge

Seniorutvikler i Kristiansand med 6 års erfaring og 880k i lønn. Blir jeg fraløpt, eller er det in-house-fellen?

Hei folkens,

Trenger litt kalibrering fra IT-folket her inne.
Jeg jobber i dag som seniorutvikler i en in-house privat bedrift i Kristiansand. Jeg har 6 års erfaring (bachelor i bunn) og tjener i dag 870 000 kr i grunnlønn.
Saken er at jeg stadig hører historier fra gamle studiekompiser som flørter vilt med milliongrensen, eller har hoppet langt over den allerede. Det gjelder særlig de som dro til Oslo og de som jobber som konsulenter.
Jeg trives kjempegodt i jobben. Det er lite overtid, forutsigbar hverdag, chill kultur og gode kolleger. Men jeg merker at frykten for å falle bakpå rent økonomisk begynner å gnage litt.

Er 880k faktisk en helt grei og god lønn for Sørlandet med min erfaring, eller blir jeg underbetalt fordi jeg sitter trygt og godt in-house?

Hvor mye må man egentlig trekke fra for "Kristiansand-rabatt" sammenlignet med Oslo-bobla?

Bør jeg kreve et solid hopp i neste lønnsforhandling, eller bør jeg bare nyte at balansen mellom jobb og fritid er på topp?

Fagforeningen mener det er litt over gjennomsnittet. Men det betyr vel jeg går kanskje glipp av de beste mulighetene?

Setter stor pris på ærlige tilbakemeldinger, gjerne fra andre utviklere på Sørlandet eller folk med tilsvarende erfaring!

reddit.com

u/Late-Direction8134 — 3 days ago

▲ 28 r/cf4cf

[M4F] 28 • Norway / Europe / US / Global • Software Engineer • Active, Adventurous

Hey there,

Sorry about the repost, had to delete with my previous post because my post ended up in another subreddit and got lots of hate. Now that I dealt with that here’s my post again.

I am a 28-year-old software engineer originally from Turkey, currently living on the scenic southern coast of Norway. I have built a great life here with a solid tech career and a brilliant community of friends, but the local dating scene leans incredibly traditional. Since I am completely, intentionally childfree and looking for a non-traditional lifestyle built on flexibility and adventure, I am opening my search up globally to Europe, the USA (where I have family), and beyond.

About Me
The Basics: 181 cm, athletic, fit, and socially active.

Day-to-Day: Being driven and down-to-earth. I enjoy dressing sharp and exploring cities, having a full calendar of activities but I am just as happy cooking a great meal at home or relaxing on the couch with a cat and should probably start doing that more.

Interests: Huge Formula 1 fan, active in martial arts, love good food, nature, and I am always excited to plan a spontaneous trip or explore a new country. I also love karaoke and playing the guitar too.

Intentions: I value direct, transparent, and mature communication. I am looking for a deep, committed long-term partnership, not anything casual.

My Childfree Stance
I have taken the time to thoroughly reflect on what I want out of life, and I do not want children. I want a future focused on freedom, spontaneity, travel, and deeply investing in my partner without the domestic timeline of raising a family. I am strictly looking for a woman who shares this definitive lifestyle choice.

What I Am Looking For
I am seeking an independent, emotionally mature woman (approx. 24–34) located anywhere in the world(although tbh EU would be much easier) who is also confidently childfree. Ideally, you love an active lifestyle, appreciate good conversation, and are open to exploring a connection that transcends borders. You are also ideally a caring person who likes doing good to the people around you.

u/Late-Direction8134 — 5 days ago

▲ 44 r/cf4cf

[M4F] 28 • Norway / Europe / US / Global • Software Engineer • Active, Adventurous

Hey there,

About Me

The Basics: 181 cm, athletic, and socially active.

Day-to-Day: A balance of being driven and down-to-earth. I enjoy dressing up and exploring cities, but I am just as happy cooking a great meal at home or relaxing on the couch with a cat. Or playing my guitar at home.

Interests: Huge Formula 1 fan, active in martial arts, love good food, and I am always excited to plan a spontaneous trip or explore a new country. Also love doing karaoke.

Intentions: I value direct, transparent, and mature communication. I am looking for a deep, committed long-term partnership, not anything casual.

I have taken the time to thoroughly reflect on what I want out of life, and I do not want children. I want a future focused on freedom, spontaneity, travel, and deeply investing in my partner without the domestic timeline of raising a family. I am strictly looking for a woman who shares this definitive lifestyle choice.

I am seeking an independent, emotionally mature woman (approx. 24–34) located anywhere in the world (yet Europe would be easier) who is also confidently childfree. Ideally, you love an active lifestyle, you are athletic, appreciate good conversation, and are open to exploring a connection that transcends borders. You are also ideally a genuine person that remembers birthdays and helps their friends when they’re in need.

If you are looking for a driven, supportive partner who wants to focus entirely on building an amazing life together as a team, send me a message.

u/Late-Direction8134 — 6 days ago