u/Late_Description8036

All my life I've always had a way with babies, children and animals. Kids especially will often come up to me without even having any prior interactions with me and they just start talking to me about something they're interested in or something fun going on in their lives and I always engage back with them and babies always seem to like me as well I'm very good at making them smile and laugh and they'll often want me to hold them which I'll only do if the parent says it's okay. Animals as well are very drawn to me like when I've interacted with someone's pet on more than one occasion I've had people be surprised and tell me their pet usually isn't that comfortable with strangers and are very selective on who they like and also I do volunteer work at a cat shelter and the cats love me at times it's hard for me to do my job because they'll want my attention while I'm trying to clean there litter boxes. I was wondering if maybe me being neurodivergent has anything to do with this.

So I'm a 31 year old male and I've always struggled to connect with other males. Women are the only people I've ever really been able to connect with platonically or otherwise. I have my reasons for this but don't really want to get into them. Bottom line is with just a couple of exceptions I've never really been able to connect with or feel comfortable with other males. The closest friend I have is a woman and she's the best friend I've ever had. I'm curious how a woman looking to date someone would feel about this. BTW I don't have any prejudices or sexist views of men it's just my reasons for being unable to connect with them are complicated.

So basically I used to be close friends with someone who was diagnosed with BPD and we had a friendship that lasted almost a decade. About 5 years into our friendship we were living together in a two bedroom apartment with her then boyfriend. Her boyfriend broke up with her and started arguing with her and she was trying to make him leave and he wouldn't and things got so heated he attempted to physically assault her and she started screaming so I ran out of my room and him and I started going at it I'll admit I'm not exactly physically built so I got taken down easily thankfully her sister and sisters boyfriend arrived and they stepped in. After that she showed a great deal of appreciation but now that I look back at everything I think she might have started to really idealize me and hold me on a pedestal. She seemed to have become even more attached to me than before almost like someone with codependency in a sense she became very clingy and would take it personally if say I didn't answer her fast enough and she also seemed to really have a lot of black and white thinking in my interactions with her like for example she wouldn't compromise on anything and I'd never experienced anything like that from her before. Inevitably though after awhile I fell from the pedestal she held me on which is why she isn't in my life anymore. I'm just wondering how common this is for a person with borderline personality disorder like would someone standing up for you potentially lead to you holding them on a pedestal. I'm not judging or criticizing I'm just trying to understand especially because I had a lot of history with this person.

Edit: sorry about the "to" in the title it must be the autocorrect lol.

I have Austim and ahdh as well as ocd among other things and the only relief I get is from medical marijuana. Even at my job I use it and it doesn't impair me it actually helps me. I use vapes I get from a medical dispensary and it really helps level me out and feel more in the moment. It's literally the only thing that keeps me leveled up in my unbalanced head. For me the best is a combination of THC and CBD. Honestly if I didn't have it I would have been dead already it truly is a life saver for me.

I have autism and was diagnosed when I was a baby. I'm an adult now and naturally I mask my autism to fit in with normal people and when I open up about it it's very common for people to say things like "you don't look autistic" or when I say it's a disability people will say something like "you can do anything you set your mind to" it's very dismissive and offensive to say things like that. I mean for one thing when you say things like that it makes you sound like you think you know more than a doctor and also it should be common knowledge that looks can be very deceiving I mean there're plenty of physically disabled people who don't immediately look disabled but still are and also autism doesn't affect ones physical appearance so how do you expect autism to look? Also if people would take time to notice I do have certain quirks that make it more obvious like my stimming and certain repetitive behaviors which people either fail to notice or think it's because of anxiety even though it has nothing to do with anxiety. I just wish I could open up to people without having to deal with hearing those sorts of things.

I'm neurodivergent and an adult orphan neither of my parents are around. My mom was a very loving woman but she's sadly no longer among the living she committed suicide back in 2017 at the age of forty four and my father was an abusive monster who I later discovered has NPD when a doctor diagnosed him and I've been no contact with him since before my mom passed. It's a very lonely and scary feeling not having either of the people who brought you into this world around. Our parents are a comfort we really take for granted in this world and then when they are gone it just feels like you're left facing the abyss alone. It's been almost a decade since I've been without both of them and it never really seems to get easier. I still feel that sense of loneliness even though I still have family and even friends with my sister and aunt being my biggest support and I'm grateful beyond words for them I honestly don't know what I'd do without them I probably wouldn't have survived without their help but still it's a struggle. I try to take comfort in the fact that my mom isn't hurting anymore but still I miss her so much.

Years of trauma from emotional and other types of abuse has resulted in me masking all the time even when I'm alone or with people I'm close to and am otherwise comfortable with. Even by myself I don't feel safe to completely unmask and this contributes a great deal to the chronic autism burnout I experience and have for a long time. For years I've felt chronically exhausted most of the time and on days where I don't work or have plans with anybody I'll sleep a great deal throughout the day. I'm always in bed super early due to my exhaustion and on work days I can barely do anything but sleep as soon as I get home from work thankfully I only work part time while on disability. The bottom line is it's exhausting to mask but I just can't bring myself to feel safe completely unmasking the only things I've really managed to unmask are my stims and even those I still do to an extent.

I was diagnosed with autism at one and a half and got put on SSI at age two and then diagnosed with ADHD at age twelve after a hospitalization. Around the time I finished high school I got reviewed and still met the criteria for disabled. After high school I went to a post secondary education school for special needs people until I was twenty two and they helped me get my first job. After I worked for a few years on SSI they switched me over to ssdi because of how young I was considered disabled I didn't need a lot of work credits to get SSDI. Since then I've been working non stop with the exception being during COVID when everyone got laid off but I've never worked full time because if I did I'd lose not only my monthly SSDI but also Medicare and Medicaid which pays for services I need and medications I depend on. Also every job I've had I've gotten with the help of a vocational rehabilitation program I've never been able to go through the process alone and I've always received small accommodations when working.

I'd like some advice on good places I can go to meet people build connections and maybe form a relationship. I'm in recovery so I can't really go to a bar to meet people and I don't like online dating because I honestly feel more confident when talking to people in person. I live in a small city but there isn't exactly a shortage of things to do I just need to know where I can go to meet people. Most of my dating experience has come from meeting people through friends and on one occasion I had a Girl come approach me but I've never really gone out and actively sought people in this way before so I would appreciate some pointers.

For the first time in a while I asked someone out and she said yes. We went out to coffee and really seemed to hit it off. From there we started walking around downtown and even held hands. We started talking and discovered we have quite a bit in common she said she loved ice cream so I suggested we stop somewhere for ice cream and she thought that was a great idea so we went and she even insisted on paying for it. From there I walked her to an appointment she had scheduled and then we hugged and I even kissed her on the cheek and then we parted ways. Later that day in the evening we texted each other and thanked one another for a great time we both had lots of fun getting to know each other and she even thanked me for asking her out. The next day I texted her good morning and she even responded back with good morning and asked how I was doing and then I asked how she was doing and since then nothing. It has been 3 days since then and I haven't pestered her for a response. The next day after that I did text her asking her how her day was going and still nothing and since then I've left it alone. But I can't help but wonder what happened? I mean things seemed to be going well I mean people don't typically thank someone for asking them out if they didn't have a good time so I'm just so confused I mean I know not to take ghosting personally and I'm not but still I feel so confused because we seemed to connect well and now out of nowhere this happens and I don't understand.