u/Left_Cauliflower5048

The researching, house hunting, virtual home tours, YouTube videos, daydreaming are all SO FUN until a tour becomes an offer, an offer gets accepted, an inspection comes out clean and suddenly you have a closing date and your current house is listed for sale…….and then you have to tell your family.

I am internally panicking every day wondering if we are making the right choice moving our young family from Midwest to NC. We are leaving our family and friends behind for a dream we haven’t been able to let go of for 6 years. But now that it’s a reality all the scary things are hitting my head. What ifs, negative thinking, why are we even doing this?

Slower pace, better climate, more job growth, more aligned lifestyle, affordable home for our growing family.

Anyone else panic when it started to get real?

Ugh the emotions are exhausting

Loneliness and depression is slowly killing my mother and I feel responsible. Logically I KNOW it’s not my fault or responsibility, yet every chance I get I am trying to fix it for her, be there for her, support and help her climb her way out of a giant hole she dug and will probably never get out of.

Background context- she’s 70, divorced at 60, never remarried, dated here and there shortly. Lives alone (after following me place to place in my 20s before I got married). She has been codependent on family bringing her joy and happiness since she was a child. She has never felt okay being alone. She has never had real hobbies, interests, activities, friendships.

I know all of this is her personality and her “fault” and hers to fix, but WHY do I feel so responsible and guilty that I can’t be that for her. Shes the sweetest person and never guilts me, she has been there for me at the drop of a hat throughout my life. I think this is why I feel so drawn to help and so sad for her.

But it’s also draining me. It’s been 10 years of her being lost, alone, needing help, complaining …and me trying to solve it. Every single day we talk about her issues. I have a young family of my own and my emotional reserves are limited.

On top of that we are moving out of state. I think this last month has been 10x worse for her mentally and emotionally because she knows we are leaving. I feel like the worst person in the world leaving her here like this. Again logically I know it’s ok, but I fight guilt every single day

Choosing between the two areas, I have a pretty good gauge on what Simpsonville is like, but does Moore feel super isolated? I love that lots have an acre ish

We have 3 young kids and plan to hybrid school so public schools aren’t an issue, but things like extra curriculars are good to know

Noise, pollution etc?

I know this varies by things like walls and trees and other outdoor sounds, but we are looking at a home in a very quiet neighborhood that is half a mile away from a freeway. Would I likely hear that sitting outside?

I have a 5 year old who has never loved the car, but even a 15-20 minute trip has her bored, complaining, whining, etc. carsick sometimes too (she’s in 3rd row). She has a hard time waiting in general even outside of the car

My usual response is “it’s okay to be bored, if we want to do fun things we have to wait and drive”. We listen to music, stories, we bring books, toys, etc but that lasts 5 min. Or she gets carsick reading.

We are about to move 10 hours away and plan on making multiple trips home yearly. Could really use some tips!