u/Legal_Audience_4931

I’ve lost 30-70lb at least 3 times in my life 34M.

I’m currently 192, I’ve been up to 255. Last year I was 162 and the best shape of my life.

When stress arrives in my life I cope by eating…I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink excessively, but I snack like crazy.

I’m mildly successful in life professionally but when stuff comes and goes with family or drama or work I just eat.

Then when times are good I can diet and maintain.

Those who had similar issues how in the world do you maintain it again during the stressful times?

I have an interview this week at a community reentry support organization for a Director Position, interviewing with the CEO.

I’m really excited because I feel if any organization would be understanding of lessons learned in life after a conviction it would be this one. For reference I served no time, paid restitution in full, etc.

I’m a white collar felon, and it happened 6 years ago.

My intent was not to disclose immediately but after an offer (if I land one).

Anyone here ever interview at these kind of places with your past? If so what was your experience?

Making $78/hr for the last 4 years felt like a fever dream.

It’s been almost 8 months since I was laid off.

I’ve tailed my resume to dozens of roles outside of Cloud Infrastructure (physical security, insider risk, compliance roles, even project management).

Hell I was the guy that was both hands to keyboard and the guy who presented cloud strategy to senior leadership across the banking industry.

My experience tells me I can take on and tackle just about anything.

I’m at the point where I’m going to start making up job titles and responsibilities that I know for a fact I can do, just to get noticed on these alternative positions.

I’ve been in IT since 9th grade when I took 4 years of vocational computer technology.

I spent my childhood, bullied beyond the norm due to my ADHD. It set this “inside out 2” anxiety driven core believe that I wasn’t good enough in this world.

My skillset in IT broke that believe as I grew up.

At my peak I hit 160K for the last 4 years as a cloud architect.

I lost my job 8 months ago, and cannot find another one.

I’ve never worked in another field, in my entire life. I’ve done this since I was 18 at one company or another. No college.

I’m neurodivergent as all hell, and it’s the only thing I’ve ever found that keeps me hyper focused.

I don’t know who I am as a person without working in this industry. It’s the only thing in my life that ever made me feel like every child, parent, or adult from my youth was wrong about who I was.

I’ve been in IT since 9th grade when I took 4 years of vocational computer technology.

15 years later, due to some unforeseen circumstances, there’s a good chance I’ll never do it again.

At my peak I hit 160K for the last 4 years as a cloud architect.

I’ve never worked in another field, in my entire life. I’ve done this since I was 18 at one company or another. No college.

I’m neurodivergent as all hell, and it’s the only thing I’ve ever found that keeps me hyper focused.

Past IT peeps, where did you transition ever?

I'm 34M, my husband and I have been together since we were 15 in HS.

We own a home we bought in 2020, love our life together. We live on 5+ acres in the middle of the woods, and you can't see our house from the road.

I'm super outdoorsy, I own snowmobiles, ATVs, I cleared a 1/4 acre and put in our in-ground pool and 2500 sq ft patio last year myself (plubming, electrical, concrete, pavers, etc). I split all of my own wood for the woodstove in winter out of enjoyment, not necessecity.

All of this to say i guess i'm pretty masc when it comes to my hobbies and things i enjoy. My husband is not into any of them lol.

But, I don't know how to make friends that are as like...vulnerable as i am as a person, but also love things like quads, guns, and cars. Like my idea of a fun weekend with a buddy is like...pulling the engine out of some busted project they found...helping demo a house they're flipping, riding quads, etc.

All of his friends are women, and they're all super girly...if they have husbands, they're basically the same. We aren't parade people or like involved in anything.

I love my life, but i just feel kind of alone, and i don't know how to find or make friends.

Are there any career coaches that work alongside someone with a felony background?

Professional careers, not just entry level.

Navigating the variations of charges and individual circumstances with viable long term career opportunities is absolutely god awful.

32M, bullied as a kid, had to switch schools in 4th it got so bad. High school it settled, met my now husband sophomore year, been together like 19 years. Both neurodivergent as all hell.

Found my knack in IT for 15 years. Eventually being around corporate folks long enough (after getting fired rom every other job, I picked up on more and more social quos. Ended at 160K a year as a cloud architect.

We had these things at work that were $0.00, like I had a portal I could order them, and they were like 100% free, my manger said it was fine if I ordered some so I was like, oh, ok cool.

Well, 400K in product later and I got hit with a fraud charge…it was a whole FBI thing. It’s done, it’s in the past, but when I reflect…my brain was just like (how is this stealing if it’s $0.00). Judge even ordered no restitution because no one lost any money.

Raised a broader questions for me as I traversed the legal system. There’s an expectation that everyone’s neurotypical in every aspect and there is zero room for the typical neurodivergent (huh? Wait? That wasn’t ok?) moment.

So, if anything, to my fellow neurodivergent friends…think twice, just because it makes sense in your brain, it very well may not be.

Wondering if anyone else ever got into weird trouble for like, thinking about things the wrong way?

Reflecting back on my time working with a lawyer some years ago.

At the time, I was a veteran Cloud Architect. Incredibly poor ability to read between the lines.

Made working with an attorney exceptionally difficult, as it was criminal defense related.

When I look back, every interaction I had with my attorney felt like those congressional hearings where one persons asks for a yes or no question, and the other person talks for 5 minutes, but doesn’t answer the question….

Lawyers, how you do typically handle these sort of client interactions?

Location: CT

I’ve posted here so many times, and honest to god I feel like I’m drowning.

When I got a knock on the door from the FBI 5 years ago, I decided honestly and integrity was the answer.

I was never arrested, I served no time, paid my restitution in full the day I got out of court, grew more than I ever thought possible, and I’m honest to god truly proud of the man that came out the other side.

As awful as the experience was, I carry an immense amount of pride in how I handled it.

I continued working a corporate job, with that sense of pride driving me, for several years. That newfound sense of self pushed my career to new heights.

Then I was googled and i was let go.

I’ve been unemployed and home for 7 months.

I’ve called every state agency and asked for guidance, I’ve called every reentry program in the surrounding states, and no one seems to have any real guidance outside of a CDL, trades, or other mindless work.

It feels as though (to me) those are cop outs. The easiest answers, a one size fits all recommendation.

I find myself wanting to challenge the system as it is. I made a mistake, I literally documented my growth from it. That growth has actual performance metrics associated with it at work.

How in the world am I supposed to leverage all of that growth, all of those lessons, all of the passion I have in my industry, if not one person will look past Google.

I’m reminded of that experiment, where a man in a suit collapses in Manhattan. Everyone rushes to ensure he’s alright, everyone comes to his aid.

The same man, dresses in almost homeless clothes and does the same action, in the same spot. Everyone just keeps walking.

I can’t help feeling like that now. As though I’m some subclass of human, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Is this a legit company? I found 3 LLCs in CA. Random miss spellings across the US.

As a buyer, is it even something to be worried about? Like I feel for the misguided sellers for sure, but hell it’s a good deal.

Interviewed for a 100% remote Senior Azure Engineer job today. Was picking the screeners brain a bit (as I had a referal from someone internal).

She said, that almost every role they post over the last several years gets an internal refferal. They're interviewing 4 people for the role (including me), all from refferals.

Said the position has 500+ applications, none of which will be viewed at all.

So applying is basically a dead end process in the tech industry now....just aweful.

Been laid off 6 months now....fingers crossed.

Made 200K last year, and for the past 3 years. Got laid off back in January. Can’t bring myself to face reality I think?

I’ve applied to hundreds of jobs. Make it through most interviews.

I’ve been in IT progressively since graduating high school in 2010.

It’s not just a job for me, it’s a passion. A deep deep passion. I’ve gone from help desk, to help desk manager, to sysadmin, to cloud infrastructure engineer, to cloud security architect. Across 7 different companies.

Always moving up, always forward. I will not take a $20 an hour job in a warehouse.

We put in a 120K inground pool and 2500sq ft patio last year out of pocket. People come over and ask “omg what do you do for a living”, and I can’t say like “Amazon warehouse associate”.

Lifestyle wise, financially we’re fine for like at least 3-4 years. But I’m 34, planned on doing this for the next 30 years.

Other IT folks, are you truly thinking about moving industries at this level? I’m honestly debating going and getting my doctorate in psychology.

I was definitely charged in federal court, how in the world did my checkr $100+ dollar background check come back with nothing on it at all?

I was just doing one on myself to see what it actually says so I can speak to it better while interviewing.

Curious as to other experience if any.

I can't find the drive anymore. It feels like I'm fighting a losing battle with myself.

I'm a federal felon. I never served prison time. I paid restitution in full the day I walked out of court. After that, I did everything I could to move forward.

I kept my job and threw myself into it. I worked harder than anyone else around me. I poured my heart and soul into my work, earned promotion after promotion, and built a career I was proud of. I stayed out of office politics, kept my head down, and because the job was remote, nobody really knew much about my past.

Three years later, someone Googled me. That was the end of my career there.

I've now been unemployed for five months, and my unemployment benefits run out next month.

In that time, I've had 25 job offers extended and 25 job offers revoked. Every time I was honest about my background, the conversation ended. Nobody called back. These weren't minimum wage jobs either, they were roles paying between $125,000 and $170,000.

The legal case was one chapter of my life. It happened years ago. The pain, the shame, the emotions, I dealt with them, learned from them, and moved on.

But now it feels like the real punishment is only beginning.

I find myself completely paralyzed. I'll sit in my house staring at a wall for hours, losing track of time. I can't figure out what the next step is supposed to be.

I've gone to job centers. I've talked to counselors and career advisors. But the truth is, my pride won't let me accept that after everything I've accomplished, my options are being reduced to jobs that require none of the skills I've spent years developing.

I even started an LLC to do consulting work, but I can't bring myself to pursue clients because I'm terrified they'll Google me too.

I'm 32 years old, and for the first time in my life, I genuinely feel like I lost.

My crime wasn't some grand criminal scheme. I worked under a supervisor who committed federal crimes. I didn't speak up when I should have. My own insecurities and poor judgment kept me silent, and I got dragged into the case as a result. No matter how truthful I was, everyone looked at me as if I was equally responsible.

Recently, I finished writing a memoir. It's about 100 pages long, covering my childhood through everything that led me here. I've read it over and over, probably 15 times now.

Every time I finish it, I come away with the same conclusion: I made mistakes. Serious mistakes. But not mistakes worthy of what feels like a lifetime sentence in society.

What I've learned is that sympathy often only flows in one direction. People can understand addiction, illness, poverty, trauma, and inequality. But when someone has a criminal record, especially a federal one, empathy seems to disappear. Your pain becomes self-inflicted in the eyes of others, and suddenly you're no longer someone worth helping, mentoring, or believing in.

I feel abandoned by society. Cast out. Pushed toward career paths where the only thing I have in common with the people around me is that we all have records.

How am I supposed to not feel crushed by that?

How am I supposed to believe there's a future when every door keeps closing the moment someone types my name into a search bar?