This is the most stressed I've ever felt
I changed my name sooner than I planned becaus not changing it felt so stressful once I understood that it was what I want.
The things I don't change are stressing me more and more, but changing them is also a hassle. I feel the need to do a million things at once. I want to buy a new wardrobe, voice train, get laser hair removal, get HRT, tell every single impotant document or person that I change my name.
It just feels like all the stressful stuff I do is just to stop the dysphoria. Dysphoria is the stress that won't stop chasing me it chases me through a rush of change that feels inevitable like being thrown into cold water.