u/Lil_Baby_Bug_Dirt

I'm wondering if someone could give me some perspective on how traveling from Illinois to New Orleans would be for 2 trans women?? I know new Orleans is a decent place compared to other cities in the south, but I'm mostly worried about the travel in between. I believe the route has Memphis on the way.

Last time I went south was before I passed whatsoever and I was followed into a bathroom in Kentucky.

My girlfriend is basically fearless when it comes to travel but I have a lot of trauma with violence and just a man raising his voice can send me into a panic. How likely do you think we would be to run into issues?

I'm newly out of an almost year long relationship. Over the weekend I decided to flirt back with a guy who slid into my dm's. He's attractive, and seems to match politically.

I was hoping for a cute date where we would get to know each other, but he suggested a park by us at nearly 10pm and I said maybe a bar if it needs to be that late. Already I was feeling a little offput by that suggestion for a first time meeting.

I picked out a bar I'm familiar with and the way he's been flirting with me is very sexually charged.

He just sent me a boxer/bulge pic and it kinda makes me feel like he's expecting a hookup. It sucks because he's hot but I'm not exactly comfortable doing any kind of sex on a first date. Normally on dating apps I can easily state I'm not into those, but in our context it feels like it would be off-putting. But idk if I'm just overthinking it.

ATP I feel like I'm not ready for this kind of date, and I don't know if I should try to softly cancel the date for a possible future date, or if I should just cut ties completely.

Can I get some other girls thoughts here??

So I normally wouldn't call being friends with someone after a date "friendzoning" buuuuut, when the other person seems to still want the relationship to happen after a clear boundary, I can't help but feel like I'm condemning someone to that fate.

I had a date with a pleasant woman who was very into polyamory, and felt that she could change my mind on the matter (I can't do poly personally). The vibe felt really awkward and rough because of that so I decided pretty quickly that it wasn't for me, and explained at the end of the date that I'd rather just be friends, seemingly to her dismay. She insisted that poly would be right for me and that she doesn't have any other partners so we wouldn't be starting out as a poly couple "technically". It felt like she was trying to cope about us not being compatible on a base level.

Fast forward some months and we've hung out as just friends once or twice and had some decent conversations and pretty recently after our first date I had met my now girlfriend of almost a year. There was an Instagram reel where she had found one of my comments that were getting lots of likes on a post related to racism. She tried to make a counter argument to the original post and it felt really weird to me. After a long comment or 2, she directly dm'ed me her argument and it simply felt like she was going off the rails on unrelated things and being mildly racist. I pointed it out and said it was making me feel a certain way and after another kinda racist feeling message I left her on read. Just now, about a week later, she sent me a reel of a popular lesbian creator saying "ma'am, can I please see your hoo-ha?.. please?.... pleeaasse?...." and the following it up by sending "me" right after.

How, or should I even, reply to this? I feel like that was kind of an out of line thing to send me after having a clear "let's just be friends" moment. I feel guilty cutting off another queer person because there aren't too many of us in the area I live in.

I was wondering if anyone would have any insight for me going into my interview with Applebees! I haven't done too much bar related in a LONG time (10 years ago I was the "bar supervisor" at a super slow sports bar attached to a hotel, but I really just bummed around the bar and was really more of the FOH manager.) and I'm pretty rusty. I've worked in pretty much every position at a restaurant but mainly as a waitress. I'm really not a big alcohol girl but I do like the atmosphere of bartending and making regulars. I'm wondering if I'm gonna flop the interview if all I know is some of the basic drinks and just general restaurant knowledge? Any advice would be appreciated! <3

My ex and I have been broken up with for about 7 months now. We had dated for about 9 months, and in all honesty, it was the best relationship I had ever had. We had gone to so many parties and did so many fun things together, our sex life was fantastic as well.

But just like everything thats going "too well", he had a drinking problem. He was a raging alcoholic before we had met, and was kinda the way the universe ended up having us meet. But when we had been dating, he had gotten himself under much more control. He would only have a beer or 2 a night compared to multiple mixed drinks. He was making progress. The problem came from his friend group. Great people! But for our age, they partied a little "too hard" in my opinion. Most of them did coke, all of them drank. He kicked his coke habit when he was with me completely. But when a party would start to really pick up speed, he would end up drinking too much, and when he's drunk, he can be an asshole.

Any other moment when hes not drunk, he feels like my soulmate. We match on EVERYTHING. And I'm a very opinionated and willful woman, so its pretty damn rare to find a man who even matches on half of my values, let alone almost 100% of them. We broke up over a silly argument, and it was mostly because he was being an asshole cause he was a little drunk, and I had a moment myself. We left on good terms surprisingly. We both went on and dated someone else since the break up. And we've hooked up once for a week long fling about 2 months ago. We randomly play phone tag and just passively long for each other every few weeks. He definitely has a lot more conviction on us getting back together, but in terms of issues that lead to the break up, mine was just wanting my boyfriend to stop being an asshole alcoholic, and his was BEING and asshole alcoholic.

A lot of the time I feel guilty, like I threw away true love and should've found a way to get through to him and support him rather than "choosing myself" like I felt like I was doing at the time. Recently, he has been doing a lot better in life in general. And the reasons for not being with him seem to be harder to find. His band is playing soon and he invited me to go see him play. I really want to go, but I know if I go, I will end up at the very least sleeping with him. But maybe that's a good thing? I really don't know. I think I know. But I'd love to hear some other peoples opinions on the matter.