u/Little_Order3606

Hi all. I am 44 male and have a BMI of 56. T2DM and joint pain in back, hips, knees, ankles feet etc...I also have gout which is horrendous during flare ups and can barely walk.

I had gastric lap band surgery in 2012 and it was an absolute nightmare. Little weight lost then it slipped and i ended up vomiting profusly. I am in the UK and under NHS and believe me when i say it took YEARS for it to be removed. I was offered revision to bypass but refused due to the horrible experience with the band. I have been on Mounjaro 10mg for a year and honestly not had much success except gone down from 167kg to 155kg but no more. I also wasnt given it for weight loss due to to some regulations etc... but for T2DM which thankfully is now better controlled.

I have to lose this weight myself. I have joined a Gym but i dont enjoy it. Its painful on my joints and i feel so exhausted the rest of the day i barely move. So it probably isnt having any overall benefit. The problem is my diet. I eat carbs but i LOVE snacks liek crisps ~(Chips if you're USA). I dont mind veggies and can happily eat loads, but it has to be paired with carbs like Veggie soup/curry/stew with rice/potatoes. I can eat Meat but i love a sandwhich. but at the end of the day, its the damn snacks which break me.

I tried Keto but am quickly sick of so much meat. Also its not tasty. For breakfast I eat 6 fried eggs in butter and about 4 good quality pork sausages or 200g of fatty bacon.

Lunch is about 100g of cheese mixed with 3 TBSP mayo, half iceberg lettuce, 1 tomato, 1/2 white onion and 1/2 large bell pepper.

Dinner is 1kg of skin on chicken thighs and 500g air fried broccoli

Snacks are Later (which i cant stop): 100g dry roasted peanuts and about 200g of pork scratchings. Maybe 100g of cheese crisps too

All this is a massive amount of Kcal, and all i have achieved is misery, no wieght loss and sky high cholesterol, triglycerides etc.. which sends my GP into panic and want to give me more tablets.

Beef is totally off the menu due to cost. Its Chicken, eggs and pork. Full stop

Before it was - 10 slices of toast with margerine for breakfast then rice, spagetti, instant noodles for the rest of the day but with such a massive amount of crisps i cannot begin to describe 😞. If you are in UK it was basically half a multipack box of 24 packets of 35g Walkers crisps per day! also a half bar of lidl milk chocolate -about 100g? plus im sure i had sweets and buiscuits as well.

I honestly feel like giving up.

I'm a minimum wage admin worker who lives a really miserable life. I live with my parents in their own house and I look after my two disabled siblings. I'm responsible for all the finances and basically support everyone. Its a struggle and I hate living paycheck to paycheck. I invest my meagre savings into an all world fund when I can.

But seeing all these posts about so many making money by trading single stocks. I'm not talking massive amount of money but even making a few thousand over the course of a year would make such a difference.

So I caught myself wanting desperately to trade too. I switched to a practice account and did CFD for oil and leverage stocks. I made a little, lost a little got to know how to do a buy/sell and do stop loss etc...

But truthfully I don't really know what I'm doing. I've read up on technical indicators but I never seemed to time it right. Almost like it feels technical analysis is made up. I paid attention to the news and global events and even then i still I couldn't time it. It always seemed to go the opposite way to what I wanted. And I really REALLY can't afford to lose. Just losing by a few hundred is devastating for me.

So I've decided to stop myself before I start to play with money I can't afford to lose and delete the app for a while. I hope I've done the right thing. Right? Or am I foolish and turning my back on something that could be worthwhile?

Well fuck me I've almost finished my handle of cheap nasty bourbon. Voice in my head said you can stop about half a handle ago. It was a pathetic whiny meek voice like what I am in real life and so I ignored it and kept chugging like a trooper. Life is shit and without alcohol I'd end things. But now I'm drunk and here is to living another evening killing the sadness from the past. Altogether now..."I could have been somebody, I could have been a contender" ...