u/Living_Truck_8368

My boyfriend and I had planned a movie night together.
Before we started, he told me that his friends had really wanted him to go out to a restaurant with them. He said they were “begging” him to come, but he told them no because he was hanging out with me instead. In my head I was thinking they were all together yesterday and two days before.

I know his friends live quite far away and they’re here for a few weeks, so they don’t usually see each other but they have seen each other quite often now.

The way he brought it up made me feel like he was hinting that he’d rather be with them. So I said, “If you really want to go, you can go.”

He got annoyed and said that I should be real and that he knows I’m not being honest and I would be pissed off if he would go. I replied that I don’t want to spend time with someone if they don’t actually want to be there.

Then he got even more frustrated and said, “Why do women think so difficult?” and later, “You’re making yourself feel like that. That’s not my problem.” “I never said I don’t want to hang out with you”

From my perspective, if someone tells me how badly they wanted to do something else, it sounds like they’re disappointed to be with me. His perspective seems to me that he was trying to tell me he chose me over his friends and wanted me to appreciate that.

I think as a woman I wanted to hear he does want to hang out with me.

Was I wrong for interpreting it that way, or was it understandable based on how he brought it up?

My fiancé and I had a conversation that left me feeling a little insecure, even though I actually understand where he’s coming from.

We were talking about long-term marriages where couples stop having sex. He said that a lot of men are in this situation—married for 20–30 years and stuck in sexless marriages. He said that for many men, sex is a genuine need in the same way emotional connection is often a need for women, and because of that, he thinks a completely sexless marriage would be a dealbreaker.
For context, he’s extremely happy with our sex life and wasn’t talking about us right now. He was speaking more hypothetically, saying that you never know what life will look like 20 or 30 years down the road. It almost sounded like he worries about ending up in that kind of situation one day because he says he sees it happen to a lot of men.

He was very clear that he does not think it’s an excuse to cheat. He said cheating isn’t okay, but realistically, a lot of people do cheat because their needs (whether sexual or emotional) aren’t being met. He also said women sometimes cheat because they don’t feel emotionally fulfilled, and while that’s not an excuse either, it is a reality.

I asked him what he would do if we were ever in that situation. He said he’d talk to me first and communicate his concerns. But then he added that a lot of women hear a man say, “I’m unhappy because we aren’t having sex,” and assume he’s just using them for sex, so he feels like it’s kind of a lose-lose conversation. He said if nothing changed after trying to communicate, he’d probably leave rather than cheat.

The thing is…I actually agree with a lot of what he was saying. Part of me feels like a lot of men probably think this way but just don’t say it out loud, whereas my fiancé is just very blunt and says exactly what he thinks. But for some reason, after the conversation I started feeling insecure. It almost made me wonder if I should be worried, even though he wasn’t threatening me or saying he’d cheat.

When we finished talking, he told me he loves me, and said no one could ever replace me. So I don’t think he was trying to scare me or hint at anything about our relationship. I think the conversation just got into my head.

Am I overthinking this? Does this sound like a normal, realistic conversation about marriage, or do you think there are red flags here? I’d especially love to hear from people who’ve been married a long time or who’ve been in relationships where sex became an issue.

Hi everyone, I could really use some outside perspectives because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

I have been planning to visit my partner in August. We’re in a long-distance relationship, and because of my work schedule, I can only take the last two weeks of August off. My family knows this. They also know that I don’t get to see my partner very often, so this trip is really important to me.

I still live at home with my parents and younger sister. We have a dog, and because my parents can also only go on vacation at the end of August, someone has to stay home to take care of the dog.

The original plan was that my sister would stay with the dog, because she was planning to go on vacation with her friends sometime in July. Now, suddenly, she wants to go on vacation with my parents at the end of August instead. The reason everyone gives me is that she doesn’t have enough money to go on another vacation, so this is her only option.

The problem is that this would most likely make me the person who has to stay home with the dog.

My parents want to have a “conversation” about everyone’s vacation plans, but from my perspective, I don’t really have any flexibility. I can only go during those last two weeks because of work. Meanwhile, everyone keeps telling me things like, “Just go another week with your partner.” As if it’s that simple to rearrange everything in a long-distance relationship. It’s not just my schedule that matters, but also my partner’s.

What hurts me the most is that my sister knew these were the only weeks I could go, and yet it feels like the expectation is automatically that I should be the one to sacrifice my plans. I feel like this happens every single year: I’m always the person who has to adjust, compromise, and take everyone else into account during the summer.

Part of me is thinking, “No, I’ve had enough. I’m going on my trip because I’ve planned this for months.” Another part of me feels guilty and exhausted and just wants to give up because I’m so tired of the conflict.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are justified. Has anyone dealt with something similar? How would you handle this situation? Would you stand your ground, or try to find another solution?

I honestly feel really sad about it because seeing my partner already happens so rarely, and it feels like the importance of that relationship isn’t being taken seriously by my family.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.

TL;DR: I’m in a long-distance relationship and can only visit my partner during the last two weeks of August because of work. My family knew this, and the original plan was that my sister would stay home with our dog while my parents went on vacation. My sister was supposed to go on a separate trip with friends in July, but now she wants to go with my parents instead because she can’t afford another holiday. She’s been crying because she feels like she won’t get to go on vacation otherwise, and now it seems like I’m expected to stay home with the dog and cancel or change my plans. This kind of situation happens every year, where I’m the one expected to compromise. I don’t know whether to stand my ground and go see my partner or give in again. Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt and frustrated?