Hello! I was considering this masters program at The University of Delaware
https://bme.udel.edu/graduate/ms-in-quantitative-systems-pharmacology/
but wasn’t sure if it’d be a waste of money. Is a PhD required to get into this field? Thank you for your help!
I’ve had depression since 2017 and I’ve been at an all time low for the past two years especially. I had my first ECT session this past Friday. But I’ve started wondering if maybe I don’t even have “real” depression, and THAT’S why years of therapy, meds, TMS, ketamine/spravato, PHP/IOP programs, etc. haven’t helped.
I don’t think any treatment can actually help me because I think the real reason I’m miserable is because I ruined my life. I’m 30, I used to be a PhD student in math and I had a breakdown my first year and flunked out and now for years I’ve been jobless, lost, single, lonely, nothing to look forward to, nothing I really care to strive for, with a lot of emotional baggage (although I also realize I’m privileged in several ways; my parents are supporting me, so I’m not currently under financial pressure, I have a good relationship with both of my siblings, I have a couple friends I talk to occasionally, and I have no physical health problems).
I don’t even want anything anymore except to either go back in time and redo things and have this just be a bad dream, or to just die.
No amount of ECT can fix a life I hate.
I’ve had depression since 2017 and I’ve been at an all time low for the past two years especially. I’ve tried multiple meds, TMS, spravato/ketamine, therapists, PHP/IOP. It seems ECT is the only thing I haven’t tried yet. My first session is scheduled for Friday morning.
But I’m terrified it’ll mess up my brain. I used to be a math grad student before the depression took over, and while I definitely feel my depression has blunted my cognition, I’m worried ECT will just make things worse.
On the other hand, I don’t know what else to do. Depression has completely derailed my life and I’m suicidal. But I don’t think any treatment can actually help me. I’m jobless, lost, single, lonely, nothing to look forward to, nothing I really care to strive for, with a lot of emotional baggage (although I also realize I’m privileged in several ways; my parents are supporting me, so I’m not currently under financial pressure, I have a good relationship with both of my siblings, I have a couple friends I talk to occasionally, and I have no physical health problems).
I don’t even want anything anymore except to either go back in time and redo things and have this just be a bad dream, or to just die.
No amount of ECT can fix a life I hate.
Kind of a weird question, but I’ve tried TMS, spravato/ketamine, and a variety of meds- none have made a dent in my depression. The only thing I (sometimes, partially/modestly) respond to is caffeine. I am still quite depressed while caffeinated, but it does numb the sharp pain (where it hurts to exist) and allows me to focus at all (still not very much, but somewhat).
This is a bit of a long shot, but can anyone relate, and if so, is there a med/treatment that’s worked for you? I’m at my wit’s end; it seems like all that’s left is either ECT (which I’m terrified of) or my psychiatrist trying out random meds indefinitely.
Any help would be appreciated; I used to be a math PhD student before the depression took over and (as the psychologist who evaluated me for autism told me verbatim) my depression has derailed my life. I’m 30 and jobless and I just want my life back. :(
I’m 30 and I’m so tired. Not even from doing anything in particular, just from existing. I don’t know how to get through the next however many decades. What’s worse is that I have no physical health problems so I’ll probably live a very long time. Thinking of suicide once my parents are gone, but wondering how to bear things in the meantime.
When did you become tired of being alive? And how do you cope with the exhaustion?
EDIT: thank you all for your kind words; I have had depression since 21 and it’s gotten worse over time despite treatment, but I’m still hanging in there ♥️
Hi! I got diagnosed with level 1 autism (formerly known as Asperger’s Syndrome) last year and I have severe treatment-resistant depression. I’ve been in therapy for years (including intensive programs, plus various meds, spravato/ketamine, and TMS) but nothing’s really budged, even though I’ve really tried.
It’s hard to articulate the details but I suspect a significant reason therapy hasn’t been effective for me is that my brain is wired a bit differently and that affects how I think about and relate to things.
So I really think it’d be helpful to have a therapist who works with people like me; autistic people (diagnosed or not) make up maybe 4% of the population and a disproportionately higher percentage of mental health patients due to the high mental illness comorbidity rates, so surely there must be some therapists out there who specialize in autistic clients with depression!
Thank you in advance!