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u/Longjumping_Cherry32

r/WeddingDressTips r/climbergirls r/plantclinic r/AITAH r/GirlDinnerDiaries r/adhdwomen r/Monstera
▲ 219 r/climbergirls

*Seeking Cis Male Perspective* Why do you comment on this sub, specifically the “not seeking CMP” posts?

Truly trying to understand, not be antagonistic. lately I’ve seen a major influx of men commenting on posts in the sub, even when they’re specifically requested not to.

Doss the algorithm just surface the post based on your interests and you don’t notice the flair? Do you follow or otherwise keep up with this sub for any particular reason? Is there something about conversation in this sub that you wish you could find in other climbing subs?

I climb with many thoughtful, safety-conscious and pleasant men. But I’ll admit my preference is to climb with women - there’s just less of an atmosphere of competition and risk, in general. I love being able to discuss climbing in this space for that reason, but I’ve found so many men in this sub lately. Truly confused as to why, when so many other subs on climbing exist.

Mods, I understand this might be too divisive and won’t complain if you have to remove!

ETA: I would like to thank every respondent but I do actually have to work. Thanks to the cis-male dudes for providing some perspective, and to the many of you who are respectful and attentive members of this sub.

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u/Longjumping_Cherry32 — 6 days ago
▲ 1.1k r/GirlDinnerDiaries

Heartbroken by a woman who just didn’t want to date men anymore :(

Trying this again, mods said my last post title was too meta. Reposting with some added context! Many of y’all made me feel seen and reassured, and I just want to say thank you for that. I feel less alone knowing others have had this (crappy) experience.

Basically, due to recent *events* I’m feeling personally hurt over women choosing to date other women solely to avoid dating men. I’m bi so I have a lot of complicated feelings and experiences around this, and it’s happened maybe 3-4 times over the course of my romantic adulthood.

I have dated men and I know they are disappointing. I have dated women and guess what - we can also be disappointing! Yes, men are socialized by the patriarchy in sucky ways but queer women are also traumatized by the patriarchy in complex, and often challenging, ways as well. A wlw relationship is not a cure-all for our heterosexual woes.

I am all for experimenting and questioning your sexuality, but dating women because you are “done with men“ reduces us down to one feature - not being men. And it ignores the holistic, wonderful, sometimes problematic, but always purely unique thing that is a woman. It is infinitely hurtful to expect queer women to heal your trauma with men, especially if you haven’t done any work to heal yourself first.

In addition to being hurt by women who want to use me to “move on” in this way from men, it also hurts my community of bisexual women when straight women want to disingenuously claim queerness just to stick it to men. We work hard to validate our queerness in a biphobic world, and this undermines us in extraordinary ways.

Obviously, if you tried dating women from a sincere place and it didn’t work out, this post is not directed at you. And if you think you might be queer, that’s amazing. Give it a shot! But date women thoughtfully, communicate openly, and accept us for who we are - warts and all - rather than who are not (your ex boyfriend).

thanks for listening <3

u/Longjumping_Cherry32 — 18 days ago
▲ 920 r/GirlDinnerDiaries

Bi girlie here: queer women are not your backup plan

I have dated men and I know they are disappointing. I have dated women and guess what - we can also be disappointing! Yes, men are socialized by the patriarchy in sucky ways but queer women are also traumatized by the patriarchy in complex, and often challenging, ways as well. A wlw relationship is not a cure-all for our heterosexual woes.

I am all for experimenting and questioning your sexuality, but dating women because you are “done with men“ reduces us down to one feature - not being men. And it ignores the holistic, wonderful, sometimes problematic, but always purely unique thing that is a woman. It is infinitely hurtful to expect queer women to heal your trauma with men, especially if you haven’t done any work to heal yourself first.

In addition to being hurt by women who want to use me to “move on” in this way from men, it also hurts my community of bisexual women when straight women want to disingenuously claim queerness just to stick it to men. We work hard to validate our queerness in a biphobic world, and this undermines us in extraordinary ways.

Obviously, if you tried dating women from a sincere place and it didn’t work out, this post is not directed at you. And if you think you might be queer, that’s amazing. Give it a shot! But date women thoughtfully, communicate openly, and accept us for who we are - warts and all - rather than who are not (your ex boyfriend).

thanks.

u/Longjumping_Cherry32 — 18 days ago
▲ 79 r/WeddingDressTips

Did I make a mistake?

EDIT: Y’all, I see my stomach. I don’t need any more reminders to buy shapewear (Or a suggestion to get liposuction!!!!)

Otherwise, thank you for all your thoughtful input and advice!

First three photos are the dress I purchased. My auntie picked it off the rack for me and ended up purchasing it for me, which was surprising and very generous.

Second three photos are a dress I tried on weeks earlier that I sometimes think about.

Did I pick the wrong dress? Not sure what I would do as first dress is not returnable. I think the photos for the second dress were also better, and I might like the first dress with a chiffon scarf accessory similar to the second dress.

I loved my dress when I tried it on but I have this nagging doubt. At the same time, I think it would devastate my auntie if I told her I changed my mind and I’m selling the dress she bought. Help me out! Any honest and kind feedback welcome.

ETA: THANK YOU so much. You’ve made me feel 10x better in as many minutes. I think with some tailoring and shapewear the first dress will feel perfect.

u/Longjumping_Cherry32 — 23 days ago
▲ 358 r/adhdwomen

Neurodivergence does not excuse bad partners!!!

I am the neurodivergent partner and I have had a variety of neurodivergent partners. When someone in my life explains that their partner isn’t showing up for them b/c neurodivergence it makes me want to SCREAM. Three times this month someone has come to me like “Oh, you can do X? Idk if you have Audhd, my partner does and they are incapable of X.”

Yes, some things are harder for your partner and you may have to have grace and patience for them but they should also be doing their best to show up and work for you.

Your ADHD partner can show up for domestic labor!! Your autistic partner can understand and respect consent!! Your neurodivergent spouse is capable of being an active and involved parent!!

It is often ableist to just assume your partner can’t show up and let them off the hook entirely, rather than voicing your concerns and working with them - or even, God forbid, leaving them when they can’t show up as the partner you want and need.

Be kind and patient with us - but also expect more from us!! We are so capable and creative.

ETA: Thank y’all for making space for this rant, even those of you who don’t agree with me. Your thoughtful stories about your partners and your own development into better partners brightened my day.

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u/Longjumping_Cherry32 — 1 month ago
▲ 2 r/Monstera+1 crossposts

she’s mostly healthy with just a few brown spots, but today I found little black dots (last photo) and now I’m worried about a parasite. what is this and what can I do? She’s been getting slowly and steadily a little worse for the last several months. thanks for your help!

she gets about 8 hours of indirect light, water every other week.

u/Longjumping_Cherry32 — 2 months ago
▲ 134 r/AITAH

I live in a condo complex where we share a trash-pickup area but have separate bins. a neighbor of mine frequently dumps furniture and oversize trash in this area (which the city won’t pick up) in a half-hearted attempt to, I guess, get someone else to pick it up?

Sometimes the stuff is halfway decent and somebody snags it, most of the time it sits there until it literally rots or a different neighbor calls a junk hauler. We live less than a mile from Goodwill, and only a couple miles from the large trash drop-off station. This is truly the laziest way for them to handle their debris.

Recently, this neighbor stuffed a bunch of oversized trash in our bin, resulting in us being fined by the city. I left them a note asking them to please not do it it again. They did it again, and I made a report of illegal dumping to the city. No follow up.

Today I woke up to several large pieces of dilapidated furniture and a variety of pieces of trash loose in the trash pickup area again. Our trash crew will come tomorrow and it will get left behind.

WIBTA if I took all this junk and moved it to their patio with a note that the city garbage crew did not pick it up? I know it’s immature, but frankly I don’t think they’ll manage their own trash unless it’s literally in their face and they’re forced to deal with it. I work from home with a view of the trash area and I’m petty as hell - I’ll move their trash back to their front door all day long if I have to.

Thanks in advance for talking me out of an AH move, if applicable.

ETA:

Lo and behold! Trash pickup has come and gone and their debris is still sitting there. Another neighbor is filing a complaint with video footage attached, and we’ll see if the city is more responsive to that. If the city is unresponsive…. I might be trash Santa.

There is no HOA, corporate or property management, or other more specific resource to report to. Each unit is independent. I’ll double check with our landlord to see if they have more info.

Also, I am 100% sure who it is. I have seen them with my own eyes and another neighbor has ring camera footage of them.

Thanks for so many of your helpful ideas.

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u/Longjumping_Cherry32 — 2 months ago