u/LoveTheDeadDearly

I have been lucky in life. I've only met one person worthy of my obsessive love. She was perfect...

-Drop dead gorgeous 10/10

-Photographic memory

She always remembered everyone birthdays

-Kindest soul I ever met

- Was sincerely religious and had a warm vibrant energy with her smile

- She was so calm and relaxed

- Loyal as they come, she would drop everything for me if I needed her

- Not a great chef, but she made up for it with her baking skills

- She described herself as a wall flower but no one could forget her smile

- Lastly she had an angelic voice when she sang

She passed away awhile ago.

Oh man I loved her and I obsessed over everything about her. I remember organizing all her cancer medication every morning, waking her up with light kisses, rubbing her feet when they would swell, driving her around, reading her medical chart constantly, helping her get dressed, writing her poems, everything about her I was just crazy about. Since she's passe I have all this love that has nowhere to go. I know nobody will ever match up to her, but damn the dating scene is brutal nowadays. No one knows how to receive love, be loved or show love. It's heart breaking 💔

People have told me it's naive to try and reach for this state of mind. I want to reach in a Jungian sense, a level of understanding where my shadow is no longer a foe but a friend. I want that integration and synchronicity where others projections don't faze me. I wouldn't even have the thought something like this could even be done to the extreme. But I've seen 2 people do it in my life, both were wise and worked in mental health. But people tell me I'm just letting people abuse me, but it's not that. I want such understanding and peace in myself I can just see and observe those who want to harm me.

Edit: I'm neurodivergent idk if that makes sense why I have this weird question

Every insult thrown your way, it's just you vs you no one else. When someone is trying to make you mad, sad or ruin your peace. It's just a mirror asking if you reject this side of yourself. Best way to win a fight is to make a friend. Be at peace with yourself. Love yourself. I feel like other INFJ's do this automatically.

Every insult thrown your way, it's just you vs you no one else. When someone is trying to make you mad, sad or ruin your peace. It's just a mirror asking if you reject this side of yourself. Best way to win a fight is to make a friend. Be at peace with yourself. Love yourself. I feel like other INFJ's do this automatically.

I'm looking for friends around my age, I'm into poetry, like Sylvia Plath, rap like Kendrick lamar. I watch KOTD and URL battles. I'm really interested in psychology and how people work. I'm a big fan of attachment theory and it's application in day to day life. I adore carl Jung next to Roger's he's my favorite psychoanalsist. I listen to a lot from rock likd HWUD, 3days grace, green day, sum41. To heavy indie hip-hop like Atmosphere, eyedea, kristoff krane. I love talking about life, I've lived a lot of it so I'm opinionated on the subject. I hope I can make more friends 🧡 Also Lola is my favorite artist this week

I want to work more on my poems, there's always some distractions. If I could lock myself away I could get so much done.

I miss your soft smiles

Auburn hair covered in Daffodils

Your heart was too big

for the body God built

I saw you wither with the seasons

December 3rd, your skin was winter

It rained so hard, God was grieving

I was going off on staff,

I didn't mean to snap like that

But I was going mad, a nervous reck

My heart was shattering

and I held your hand

Told you I love you,

I'll protect you baby to the death

But I pulled the plug because love is free

Never forced but always felt

I kissed you gently and tucked you to bed

That was the last time I felt