u/MRJAWS_TR

12 ye geçecek olan bir mf öğrencisiyim ve hedefim 30k. Şu ana kadar okul günleri dethane olan günler 1, olmayan günler 3 saat çalıştım. Hafta sonları da 4 saatten 5 saate yükseltmiştim. Şimdi yaza girdik dershane de ara verdi. Sizce 5 saatten devam mı ediyim yoksa bütün senenin yorgunluğuny biraz üzerimden atmak için 3 saat civarı yeterli olur mu? Nasıl bir program izlemeliyim?

Hello!!! So I am looking for a psychological horror movie. I dont want it to be something like "Ooh I kill people and comeout of nowhere" movies like scream or halloween. I want something like Pulse ot The Blair Witch Project. Somethingthat has an eerie atmosphere. But I want it to be actually scary. The Blair Witch Project didn't meet my expectations on that point. I would be really glad if you helped me out :D

Dün ikisi arasında kaldım ama bilgi sarmal aldım. Açıkçası o an çok bir şey fark etmeyeceğini düşünmüştüm, nasıl olsa ayt fiziğin temeli ve ayt fiziğim de iyi (11. Sınıf en azından). O yüzden bilgi sarmal aldım ancak sonradan araştırdım ve 345 in daha tercih edilen bir kaynak olduğunu öğrendim. Sizce çok bir şey fark eder mi? Ederse hangisini tercih etmek daha mantıklı? Ona göre değiştirmeyi ya da bs satıp 345 almayı deneyeceğim.

I looked for them a lot but cannot find them all, does anyone have the images of the shirts of the farewell tour?

Merhabalar 11. Sınıfım hedefim 30k sayısal. Bugün sadece 1,5 saat ders çalılabildim çünkü bütün gün çok istediğim bir etkinlik vardı. Sonrasında da doğru düzgün buluşamadığımız arkadaşlarla buluştuk. Biraz da olsa ders çalılabilmek için erkenden kalktım ve dediğim gibi 1,5 saat çalışabildim. Aynısı muhtemelen yarın da olucak. Pazartesi de 1 saat falan çalışabildim. İlk defa böyle oluyor. Onun dışında olabildiğimce programı aksatmamaya çalışıyorum. Sizce çok bir sorun olur mu? Haftaya normal programda devam edicem, zaten dershane geri başlicak.

This is not me.

Do you ever feel like you are a character in a movie when you relapse? It just feels odd. It feels inhumane. It feels like I am in a different person's mind and body, just like the movie Terminator. And when I relapse once more in a few hours thinking that I should get it all out to make the journey easier? At that point I am disgusted. Disgusted of myself AND the body I am in.

Lemme tell you why I feel this way. I am kind of a social person. I keep meeting new people and getting close to them. Especially in conventions. The me who doesn't masturbate meets them. I feel warmth. I feel like they trust me. But when I relapse? Everything just turns upside down. I don't wanna meet new people. I wanna get away from people I am close with. Because I feel like they would be disgusted from a person who masturbates regularly. I feel like they would feel insecure.

Especially cosplayers. I watch either hentai or cosplay. However, I feel terrible afterwards. How can such a beautiful piece of art with many effort put into be wasted in such a garbage hole? I cosplay myself. I like meeting cosplayers. I do not feel any sexual attraction towards them in real life. They are all so nice and they are expressing themselves, they are free. But I feel like if they learned I do such a thing, they would get disgusted of me, again.

Here is the thing: I do not do nofap because of what others think about me. But I would agree with them if they did do such things. Or maybe I am injecting my thoughts on myself to them in my head idk.

The point is I feel weird. The happy, motivated, focused, positive, confident, nice me turns into an abomination. Unhappy, stressed, headover clouds, inconfident, mad, intolerent etc. Istdead of meeting new people, I want to become distant with the people I already have in my life. The me who normally focuses on lessons and works hard starts looking for his phone every 10-15 minutes. I turn to the exact opposite way. And instead of seeing what it does to ME, I feel like I am simply someone else.

Açıkçası dershane kapandığından beri kendim halletmeye çalışıyorum. Normalde hafta içi 2 saat çalışıyodum, 3 saate çıkardım. Haftasonları ise normalde dershane dışında 4 saat çalışıyodum. Dershanekapandığından beri de aynı şekilde devam ediyorum. Yine hafta içi 3 sonu 4 saat çalışıyorum. Hafta içi yeterli gibi gelse de hafta sonu biraz az kalmış gibi hissettim. Hafta içi bir gün problem bir gün paragraf, kalan zamanımı da 11. Sınıf konularında dksik kaldığım yerlere odaklanarak geçiriyorum. Eğer daha fazla gerekirse tabii ki daha fazla da çalışıyorum ancak genelde gerek olmuyo. Hafta sonu dershane varken hem paragraf hem problem hem geometri çözüyodum ancak geometride çok eksiğim olduğunu fark ettim, o yüzden onu yazın halletmeyi düşünüyorum. Şimdi hafta sonları okul sınavlarına odaklanıcam, kalan zamanımda yine problem geometri ve paragraf çözüp 11. Sınıf konularına bakıcam. Siz ne düşünüyorsunuz? Sizce iyi bir program mı yoksa tempoyu artırmalı mıyım?

Well we can't say it's an accident. It's rather falling weak to desires. I pretty much fapped once more 3 hours later I relapsed thinking "I relapsed, so I should get it all out to not struggle in my next journey". Tbh the first time didn't hurt much. I just said " yeah you relapsed but you learned stuff, now get back up and apply whay you have learned". But the second time was completely out of will. And now I just feel like shit. Just wanted y'all to remember this sentence, maybe it'll help you out!

I'll tell you: I did masturbate. But the whole finding porn and masturbating process lasted like 5 mins or so. I now remember that it is meaningless and disgusting and what it does to me. That's why I don't count it s a loss. However, I am not sure about reseting my counter or not. I think it's around 50 days or so, and I don't think I lost all the process for a 5 minute mislead. I think the stress buikd-up caused it because I was fighting the urge for 2 hours or so and this has been going on for a week or so. I'm not sure since I was struggling with triggers but now I remember everything. Maybe it's what a relapse does? What do you think? Should I reset it?

A lil edit on the title: I also wanna hear your thoughts on watching hentai

Tbh my main reason for asking this is because I feel disgusted as a man. I try to control my acts on myself, but when I can't, I just feel disgusting. I feel like I don't deserve to be around anyone because I would make them feel uncomfortable since they'll think I'm a perv. More to it, I HATE actual porn, so when my triggered brain acts on that, I just wanna be punished for life. I ofc don't sexualize people in real life, yet I feel so disgusting. Even when I want to do it. When I think logically, it truly sounds disgusting but still, I wanted to hear your thoughts

Edit: people think that it is normal cuz many people do it, but I believe that it is only meant to do it with a loved one

I forgot my ipad at the airport and i have no way of getting it back in time except someone going and taking it as soon as possible. So I was recommended this site and it looks like I have no other choice. Is it dependable? How much does it cost?

I was turned on a lot since I had a lil bit too much screen time due to a lot of stress (I'm trying to give up phone addiction because of this too) and I saw many triggers. My body was shaking for hours and I kept looking for reasons to fap. I looked up if people think its disgusting, I looked up fapping's bad effects but my horny ass brain kept telling me that those do not apply to me. Then I started realizing how stupid some people are talking about masturbation. So I decided to look to this subreddit and boom! I remember how it feels, I remember what it does, I remember the never ending cyle, and I remember the promise I made to myself. So just a little advice, if your brain is tricking you to believe that masturbation is not wrong, come take a look at this subreddit. Return to your future self. Stay strong dear soldiers 💜💪

I realized I forgot my ipad at the flight so there was no way of turning back. I searched a lot, but it says that I can only take it from hand. I am not turning back to Hamburg. I sent an e-mail telling the situation and sent many proofs that the ipad was mine, but all I got was an autoresponse, which had a link that leads me to the same site where I learned that I can only take it from hand. This probably happened because it is only open at mondays and thursdays. I also tried calling them, but, no surprises, nobody picked it up. Unfortunately I have no one that can pick it up and bring it in time either. My cram school will open 2 weeks later and my ipad is required for it. They only teach from that. Is there any way I can take the ipad on time? Or at least in a month or so?

I've been watching the anime weekly and i am caught up since the day it came out, but here is the thing: I am not a foreigner. the anime just keeps decorating such simple themes with lots of LOTS OF fancy words and I just feel like I am missing out a lot. Can we discuss what every episode was about? I feel like the things I understand cannot be the themes because they stay too simple for ll those symbolisms and everything. what are your thoughts on the anime?