u/Magic-Magicker

I remember before this journey I’d always get bricked up during s*x scenes, or I’d even pause the movie to satisfy myself. But this time I had to lower the volume and look away or skip past the disgusting scenes. Mind you, I still get urges, I still occasionally fantasize plowing hot women, but all this cuck stuff doesn’t please me anymore. I have no interest in watching others have fun. I feel like if I’m not the one being pleasured then I’m not interested.

This is the first time seeing erotic scenes in 130 days, I know it’s a tv show and it’s all fake scenes and you don’t see any private parts but does watching these scenes lower your vibration or anything?

This journey made me clean up my act. I lost 60 lbs, I quit drinking alcohol, quit smoking weed, I quit caffeine, I quit sodas. But I gotta find a balance, because it also feels like I’m developing a perfectionist mindset where if I slip up a little bit it’ll throw me off and put me in a bad mood, like when the erotic scenes popped up while watching the show I had this thought in my head like “ah fuck, the clean streak is over, I should just relapse and restart my streak and go for an even better clean streak.” Last month I also gave myself a little cheat meal, and I had the similar thought, “my clean eating streak is over I might as well order more ice cream from Dairy Queen tomorrow.” Which actually led to me binging junk foods for a week until I got back on the wagon.

Living in the present feels good.

I’m currently on day 36, highest streak was like 64 days, never had a wet dream. Do they happen after 90+ days or what? Are there people here past 90 days or even a year without a wet dream? Just curious.

I was terrified as it slowly slithered towards me, I kept saying something like ‘oh no this is my biggest fear bro’ and then when it got within arms reach it lunged at me to try and bite me, and it jolted me awake. I actually screamed a little bit as I woke up cause it felt so real.

In the dream I was paralyzed in a way, i was in bed, under my blanket and everything, i sat up after I saw the snake coming into my room, just watching this beast slowly creep towards me, almost like there was no point in moving because there’s no way to escape the situation.

She’s bad af I’m not gonna lie. You know those memes where it’s the Victoria’s Secret Model vs a random Swedish Woman on the train, and the Swedish woman is way hotter than the Victoria’s Secret model? Yeah, she’s the random Swedish Woman on the train. 10/10 looks wise.

Long story short, basically she led me on because she loved the attention and then picked another dude over me. What pissed me off is I live in a small town and so we usually drive past each other and I always see both of them with a mocking smile on their faces as we drive past each other.

The dude looks like a gooner too. Depleted coomer just like I was.

I’m on this journey to transmute the energy to be healthy and wealthy, and to hopefully attract a hotter woman than her. I want to make her jealous, I want to make her regret how she did me wrong. I want her to see me with my hot wife and our beautiful kids living our best lives while she’s stuck with that gooner depleted coomer of a bf she’s now getting smashed by every night. I know I sound bitter. But whatever this is how I feel.

Ive been doing this since January, relapsed over and over until I got on a good streak, I’m currently on Day 25.

But since January I’ve lost a lot of weight. I went from 240 lbs to 178 currently by going on a keto diet + intermittent fasting daily. I’ve never worked out in my life either before this, but I’ve also started doing that since January, my arms are finally showing definition, even though I only use dumbbells to workout my triceps biceps and brachialis.
I started walking 10,000 steps daily as well.

Idk what’s the point of this post. Whatever lol