u/MaleficentReview765

I’m 24, nearly 25. Still unemployed despite sending my resumes a ton of times.

I don’t exactly know how to let this out so I’m just gonna say things

I’m not sure how much a job would improve my life but at least that could give me a routine.

I want to experience romance. I’m a gay male, having difficulty with relationships. I want to know what it’s like to kiss someone, to love someone.

Being unemployed, it has its ups and downs but I can’t seem to see my future as of now. And time is unforgiving.

I don’t have any clubs joined, I only go for a jog and sometimes workout here at home. My friends are all working, some moved abroad. Most of the friends I have here aren’t exactly my go-to’s.

I don’t wanna be depressed, I wanna know what love feels like, being excited to see someone and many things. But I don’t wanna dive into that yet if I don’t have money of my own.

Are there people like me? I feel like I’m the only one, I feel lonely.

1st yr college ako that time, M 19 yrs old haha. And I had a friend/classmate named Brian.

That time uso pa yung Adorable Home na game. And me na naka crush kay Brian, siya pair ko sa game haha pero secret crush ko lang.

Close kami noon, and that time he gets my phone randomly to login to his social media etc etc and one time na curious siya sa Adorable Home na game kasi trending and he opened it

I was doing some schoolwork that time I did not see him open it. He said “Oi ano to? Eto ba yung Adorable Home pa laro” while already scrolling around

Pag hear ko sa AH I got my phone right away, my heart mga 120 beats per minute hahahhaa my face was very red. Jusq

After that friends parin kami, close2 pero weirdly lagi na siyang mag invite na kami lang dalawa. Mag inom, smoke (trial lang for me that time haha), umuwi, study, etc. what flattered me one time is he waited for me around 20 minutes outside the college office kasi gusto niya sama kami pababa

I did not expect he was still waiting considering ang tagal ko sa office.

Gosh, mga small actions pala like that maka flatter the heart na hahahha

He’s not handsome for me, mid lang. pero the way he acts haha. Anyway yun lang.

Until one time while we were smoking, sabi niya he saw his name daw sa game and asked if may crush ba ako sa kanya. I said oo naman. “Since when” “why” etc mga tanong na yon

Ako naman I asked since he knew pala, bat nag hangout siya with me like this. Sabi niya gusto lang daw niya haha comfortable daw siya sa akin

After that we went home together since sabay kami route ng jeep.

Blah blah blah for the whole school year ganyan kami, sama2 kain, study. Pero i told him ayoko na mag smoke haha. Nag drink kami one time sabi niya mag crush shang babae, and since gay naman ako pwede koba daw i close hahaha my gosh. He was saying all that while his arms were around me, leaning sa couch in that small bar. Mga Wednesday yun, cloudy and drizzling afternoon. Walang tao sa bar kami lang, kasi mga 3:30pm yun

That was just close friends talking ha, so no malice for me.

I started wearing glasses since High School and every year or two, my grade would increase by 0.25. I’m near sighted.

I usually change my glasses when it becomes blurry due to scratches, but every time I check-up, the doctor would say my grade has increased. So I complied.

Pandemic happened. Wasn’t able to go out much so my glasses weren’t getting as scratched from dust, sand, etc

Slowly, as classes resumed (college), my glasses started to become scratched again from emergency wipes because of rain, or just dusty in general where I couldn’t find a dedicated cloth. Until it became untolerable. I couldnt see plate numbers of the cars infront of me while driving, etc

I visited the eyewear store to get my eyes checked and all. Said this higher prescription may be better. But I chose to stick with my 2.25 prescription. Afterall, I saw what I needed to see. Then the assistant told the doctor in a surprised expression “Same grade lang daw doc, diba every 2 years unta mag change?”

In english: Doc, he said he wants the same grade. Wasnt it every 2 years the grade goes up normally?

The doctor just said that we respect my decision.

Anyway, so since Pandemic I haven’t listened to when doctors tell me to increase my grade and my comfort hasnt changed since. Although far away letter may be blurry a bit, but Im not in a place where I gotta read letters from a hundred meters away. I could still see the road, plate numbers, stop signs, blackboards, etc

Could doctor’s recommendations to increase the prescription be a bit scammy? When I wear higher prescriptions, my older glasses would feel blurred now, then recommended higher prescriptions once again, repeat.

Long story short,

I passed Nov 2024. Applied to dream hospital around Mid 2025

Got accepted, passed interview but got stuck at medical exam. I had medical issues, got operated and good to go after 3 months but I have not anymore contact the hospital, although doctor did say just come back here

Now its around November-ish 2025, decided not to work since Id rather just spend Christmas at peace, and post-op success celebration.

Jan-March I studied NCLEX, passed April.

Now it’s May.

Question: I did an interview at a public hospital, was not accepted.

My answers to why I took a long break were mostly — To spend time with my family, explore hobbies, travel the Philippines.

Should I mention I had an operation?? In my next job interviews. My family said no since it’ll just add to more medical clearance hassle.

Grr, I dont really know how to answer why I took a 1.5 year break

I had a BLS ACLS with FDM Training Center. It costs 10k. It is AHA Certified though, 2 Half-Days. Online and F2F

Then I was scrolling through FB and saw a Philippine Red Cross BLS/ACLS training for around 3.5k for Four Days.

Did I enroll in smthn too expensive??