u/Maleficent_Gas_1552

A few months ago, I was severely sexualised by two of my former male friends. One of them would touch me uncomfortably, and they both said some vile things about my body. I put up with it for too long, but the only reason I finally snapped was because one of them assaulted someone ELSE (I’m deeply ashamed of that). since then, I’ve been hyper focused on dressing so that nobody can see my body or even the shape of it. Everything from my collarbone to my ankle has to be covered now. Is this a trauma response anyone else has experienced?

I just broke up with my boyfriend two days ago on relatively amicable terms. The reason that we broke up (I broke up with him) is because I am extremely uptight and he is very laid back. I could see that even though we liked each other, we would end up making each other miserable. I was criticising him constantly, and looking back a lot of it was me projecting my morality OCD onto him. Towards the end of our relationship, I also avoided sharing a bed with him because all furniture except for my own bed had started to feel contaminated. I love him, and he is such a good guy that legitimately cared about me. We've agreed to stay friends after some time apart, and I know that even without OCD, we wouldn't have been a good long-term match. I just wish that I hadn't let my thoughts be mean to him.

This all started when I (20F) moved in with four other people (33M, 20M, 19M, 23F) into a sharehouse. One of the guys, let’s call him L. L had so so many red flags that I overlooked (made jokes about assaulting me, shit like that). I also had a best friend (23M), who we’ll call P. P and L were my two closest friends. P and I had actually met by going on a date, and me panicking and thinking I was gay and not attracted to him, when I was really just anxious. Months later, we were friends. In March (3 months ago), I started dating guys again after figuring out that dating ANYONE makes me anxious and scared. I told P, and he was understandably angry. After a month, he told me that the reason he was upset is because he still had feelings for me and felt rejected. P, at this time, had gone through a breakup with a much older woman who I think messed him up a bit (he was very objectifying of women, including me in retrospect). After I rejected him and told him I’d step back from the friendship, he continued to try and spend time with me (hugging me, insisting on driving me places, leaving me voice messages).

At the same time, L got drunk and assaulted my roommate. I told him to move out and our friendship ended. Prior to me finding out about it, he’d told the story in a more consensual light. I was then pressured by my other roommates to tell them what happened. I gave them vague details, but out of respect for my roommate I didn’t say what happened specifically. I still feel that I said too much, especially as they don’t like or believe her.

Because of all of this, I eventually decided that I couldn’t be friends with P because I couldn’t keep surrounding myself with men who are a danger to women. So I told him I was ending the friendship and have been ignoring his texts.

I recently got back from a trip home. Our rental house has been under renovation by one guy that our landlord hired because he was cheaper labor. I was so angry the morning that I got back that our backyard was still dug up for months on end and that nothing had gotten done. So I texted the contractor that I was disappointed that nothing had gotten done since I left. I saw him today, and he told me to go fuck myself (which is fair). Turns out, the reason that he hadn’t done anything was because our landlord wasn’t paying for him to get the building supplies. I apologised profusely.

During my trip back home, I was repeatedly texted by my roommate about noise complaints in the house. I kept telling her that she should talk to the roommates that were actually there, but she kept texting. When I got back, I saw how messy they had left the house (no chores done, disgusting bathroom) and sent an absolute crash out text about how they’d dragged me into drama and then welcomed me back into a house that Hasn’t been cleaned since I did it before I left.

Because of how slowly things are being fixed in our house, and one housemate moving out, we are considering breaking our lease. I feel terrible about this because I wonder if maybe our landlord really needs the money, instead of being cheap.

I‘ve just been so so angry lately and now it’s everyone’s problem. I don’t want it to be.

Hi, everyone. I know the title sounds like a lucky problem to have, but I am genuinely tired of guy friends coming out of the woodwork to take their chance with me. I have a partner and hate that I am perceived as attractive by people I don’t want to be. Previous guy friends, in retrospect, have said some REALLY creepy things about my body. How do I shut them out? I am currently considering throwing out my wardrobe and dressing like a nun.