u/Mammoth_Panic_4306

Keep it positive this next week ok?This is going to be my toughest week to date. I use you for inspiration and motivation. Be nice to me.

Me being in your life is the last thing you need. You need rehab. Maybe you can hire me as your life coach after? lol you have to allow verbal and physical abuse. It’s part of therapy. And laughing till you can’t breathe is also part of that.

I’m no good for you right now. I need to see improvement. All I see is the same thing. You bad mouthed me to my favorite people. Who wants to run to that? My passport is expired. It’s been that way the whole time. I need to see improvement. I just see you talking into the void. It’s not to me. When are you talking to me? I’m blocked. I can’t imagine why I wouldn’t believe ANYTHING you write here.
Do tell me one thing… why stalk me? What do you get out of it?

I know all the letters are for me. You are trying to make me jealous with the “Other letters”
You and lala both stated she can’t speak English well let alone read it. Thank you for always keeping me informed. So….when I don’t see a translation I know it’s for me. 🙃

****** class dismissed ******

40 hr plus health insurance? Sold! What do I do? Come up with jokes? I mean…that’s low for this kind of comedy. 🙃

I have zero patience with this dude. I just need one question answered for my damn sanity and he won’t help. I’m going to look up a spell for an itchy butt hole. I am done with his AVOIDANT tendencies.

Will you answer one question? How long have you known you were her 👆🏻. How long did you know about Judy. Or did you put that in my head?

Please answer.

I’m sorry I’m boring you. I don’t care about them anymore or you. I like your posts. I’m fighting my own war at home. I don’t have the energy to worry about you anymore. You confirmed everything I feared in the texts. I am nothing to you even the friendship I wanted is never happening now. You are using my words to extend out your story so they don’t think it’s you. I don’t care anymore. At all. Even if you found another muse I would still enjoy your videos. I’m not bothered by that. I’m bothered about your treatment and words you used against O. She didnt deserve any of that. She is still finding her way. You took all her money and now use her property against her. What if someone did that to YOUR child? They are the same age. You know exactly why you did that. CONTROL.
You used her inexperience against her. I can’t wait till she finds her feet. One foot will ultimately be in your ass one day. Team O all day.
I’m done with these letters too. I just want to scroll and it not be you for once. Remove my number please. And tell La Lande bye for me. ✌️

You are always the first one to respond to my letters. Why did I make you mad? Did you have messages for me there? Did you tell people untrue stories? I have visions of you pointing laughing at my photos and showing my texts to people. When that picture of you and O showed up it was my confirmation (thanks for that). They have no clue who I am. And I’m done with all of them. So who cares. But that says a lot about you. When I ask for info I get it. My questions are always answered, unfortunately.
The people I needed to keep me positive are no longer positive to me anymore. Thank you for that as well.

How I’ll be totally ok leaving and then I’ll remember the “Boo!” dream. I feel like I’m abandoning you, but I’m not. Why won’t my brain stay independent of you? When is the break? It’s just there like you’re on the couch laughing at me. Do you ever feel like that? It’s like sticky gum you can’t get off your shoe. It’s SO uncomfortable, yet interesting... You’re right, I am studying it. lol My brain is trying to gather info and collect info for the complete pattern. I can’t believe how long you’ve been doing this… Or who you are!
Our relationship has turned into something else entirely. We are just acquaintances. You’re protecting me from you and I’m communicating at your comfort level.
I don’t watch you anymore. I don’t watch anyone anymore. I haven’t for a while. I have no clue what’s going on. I watched one and I’m going to be honest.. You’re not looking healthy. Not your appearance, it’s just not you. Your face is flushed and you look like you’re uncomfortable. Like skin is the only thing holding back a flood. We can’t fake happy and you’re not at all. It made me sad and I stopped watching. It’s surreal.

I love that I’m annoying you. I’m getting carpal tunnel from all the 🥸🙃🤣 Oh, and back at ya! 🖕

I just want to clarify something. I never wanted a relationship. I only wanted friendship. We are not compatible. Plus, I think you prefer boys over girls. You are a lot calmer when you date men. You’re not nice to women you date. So you really need to take that into consideration. We are connected because of the TF connection. That’s it. Of course you love me and I love you. I was never IN love. You can’t do that over a screen. Not for me anyway. We are the exact opposite of each other. That’s why it’s so cool. Same personality and sense of humor. But the other stuff..no.
I want you to be happy #1. I have bad dreams when you’re not. Creepy dreams. I haven’t had them in weeks. See? Calmer 🙃 I accept you as you are…always. That’s what makes our relationship special.

I really want us to be friends. That’s what I’m hoping for in the end. C-PTSD humor is Grade A top choice for me. I must be friends with that person. 🧍‍♀️

I love that I’m a muse. It’s fun to see what your brain comes up with now. I would never take that from you. This is how you cope.

Wouldn’t it be hilarious to have a cartoon with us and we use our chats? Golden PP with someone walking in? 🤣🤣🥸 Love it.

I’m going to delete this one later. Too personal. Miss my friend always.

They’re bullying me at work. I might need a lawyer. I don’t want to go down that path. I’m so tired. They’re trying to take me out on a technicality. Why bully an autistic person? How do they sleep at night? Of course, this is happening at a hospital. Sad. I loved that place so much.

It’s no longer your job to look out for everyone else. It’s your job to take care of yourself. You thought if they felt seen, it would make things better for them. It does not. Your effort while appreciated, is not needed at all. Quit giving people so many chances to hurt you. You were hurt internationally this time. Our autistic brain thinks everyone is good deep down. They’re not. Don’t play with a poisonous snake and expect not to get hurt.

I had a dream I was someone else. It’s gotten bad I think. I can’t grasp real life anymore. So much AI I can’t stay grounded in reality. I see why the creators dipped out. It overwhelming and not In a good way. I wish I could exit early, but I’m too stubborn for that. I have too many haters to wave to when I finally make it. I guess I just added more to my list.

I lost two of my favorite things because I said hello to someone. I don’t have my escapes anymore. Just saying “Hello” ruined my life. Every person that comes in my life takes and doesn’t give back emotionally. Like a vacuum. When will I learn?
Why do people live in the creepy haunted houses at the end of the street and never talk to anyone? I can give you a clue.

Going to bed. 🛌 Maybe I can be happy in my dreams for once.

Nobody important

Did you make everyone hate me? I would like to watch the CD again, but not if they hate me. Would break my heart a little.
Show me some respect and let me know?

G

You’re the wizard. Does the Queen realize the wizard was treating her like that because of her past?
Judy came to expose the Wizard after falling in love with said Wizard. 😎 How cool is that?
I’m going to eat a cookie. 🍪 Get your mind out of the gutter.

Talking in code. Please don’t take this letter down.

Love,

Judy 🥸

Last night I had a dream about an old crush I had. I was visiting a house in my town and there he was on the couch with a man and two women. There was nowhere to sit so I sat in front of the couch. I’m talking to someone and hear “Don’t look.” 👀 They all start going at it and having sex while I’m sitting there listening.
I get the ick, but people keep talking to me like it’s a normal occurrence.
I finally make an excuse and leave. I start walking down a highway towards my side of town and don’t stop till I get to my house. The dreams are constant. Sometimes they’re nice, but it’s mostly that. It’s so uncomfortable. I can’t seem to escape you.
I had a dream you took me out of town for lunch and you left me there to go see someone else. It was freezing cold.
And you laughed at me. You invited me to lunch to apologize. I should’ve known even in dreams you can’t express it either.

When I dream of you now it’s not a good 👻 , it’s a nightmare boo. So this is my final letter. I said my piece in the other letter. This is why I need you to let me be, please. No more Etsy witches. Ok. Bye.

GG

Had a productive day at work. I was in meetings all day. I learned nothing. It’s like seeing the tv on the cart when you walked into the classroom. I get paid to watch it this time.
I love reading and learning. It’s my favorite thing. Maybe I came it learn and nap this lifetime. I’m doing great at it so far.
Been dating J. He makes me laugh . He thinks I’m funny. Guys have a hard time telling me I’m funny for some reason. “How long have you been waiting to tell that joke?” B*tch that was fresh off the press just for you.
Anyway, everything good for now.

GG

You lost your friends.
You lost your kids.
You lost your dog.
You lost your girlfriend.
You lost me who was trying to help.

Tell me again why you’re blaming everyone but yourself?

You making that comment proves you enjoy hurting me. Thank you for failing that test. 😘

No need to wonder anymore about me. I’m out.

Lance a lot is Lou Lou - he came back to let Gh come in.

Philip lived at La Lande in another life. That’s why he knows it so well.

Am- inspiration to Thor. He keeps the same look throughout history. 👀 only picks Nattie. Period. Love it.