u/MarigoldMouna

We were all better off when my common law husband was smoking weed, or, throwing up blood in the bathroom (suffered the cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome occasionally). He stopped smoking weed, since Easter, and now he just yells at us, fights with me. Even when I yell at him to just smoke and be calm, or just smoke and risk it, and least then he won't be a complete and utter AH to me, our 4 y.o. son, and our 15 month old daughter.

This is the first time with him being sober and all I want is for him to pick up another habit if it would have him calm the fuck down. This past Saturday morning is but one example:

I was in our basement filling some paperwork out, he was getting up with our kids until I was done as he was still asleep when I went downstairs. Our 15 month old wakes up, it is 8am. He does get her up but she needs a bottle (I always have the bottle ready, he didn't) and as she began to cry, he got frustrated and she kept crying amd he yells at her to "Shut The Fuck Up!!!!!!" This all took place in around 5 minutes. He couldn't keep self control of anger for 5 minutes before blowing up. When I got to tell him to go in another room, he yelled at me he's not a morning person. Nobody is. Nobody wants to jump into work the second they wake up, it is what parents do though.

I already feel I am doing this alone, and, I am losing nothing when I walk away from him. I anticipate the day with happiness. We are in constant "walk on eggshells" mode since Easter in particular, it is just worse since Easter.

We haven't been physically abused. But, we are yelled at all the time. I do have some recorded. Is full custody possible with that? I was told no physical abuse and yelling but not name calling isn't enough for full custody, especially since he told me he will fight me.

He refuses therapy. What are my options to leave?

EDIT: Thank you to everyone for your comments, I am reading all of them, but only may respond to a few.

My mom passed in 2023, and I have had a couple of strong visits from her. To set the scene, I haven't been well--I am considering a career move, I am having financial strain, my partner is an AH, and for this long weekend (Canada) I have been deep cleaning the house endlessly.

I went through the drawers of my 4 y.o. and 15 month old that don't fit anymore, and, for this occurrence I was folding the newer clothes to put into their drawers for the summer. There was a butterfly print dress for my daughter and I had the thought of how beautiful it would look on her, and the tears came. I had the thought that my mom won't be seeing her in this dress. I know *in spirit* she would, but, I really need her. Then came more tears, like the stress that I have been harbouring was being released and I had this thought in my head---lasted only a few seconds---

My mom told me she knows my daughter. She told me--in feeling--that she and my daughter decided to look like me, because they knew how deeply it hurt me each time [my partner's] family would say that [our son] looks just like him. [There is backstory to that I will get to]. My mom said they decided that together and that is why my daughter looks 100% like me. [Many people--not his family, as they say nothing, say she is my twin].

I cried and called my sister and said what mom told me.

With our son, I see my resemblance in him, which is good because I didn't know if he was mine. I was put under anathesia for the emergency c-section. I didn't see him the first day of his life and he was in the NICU and I was hooked up to a magnesium drip (pre-eclampsia HELLP syndrome). The name tag said my name, but, was he mine? The ppd was Horrendous. I had doubts..and, hearing that he looked nothing like me each and every time we visited my boyfriend's family hurt deep. That baby I have no recollection of giving birth to looks nothing like me, to them..So, my mom and my daughter showed them! But, also that my mom said (in the feeling) she knows my daughter, and how beautiful she is. She looks just like me.

(Tearing up again 🥲)

I thought they fixed that!! In the green zone I think the enemies were supposed to have 5000 health at the highest.

My boyfriend and I just finished our horde, I died twice, he made it to 3:30am before the base fell and he had everything chasing him. I had 46 bullets for my pistol, he had arrows for his crossbow and around 100 shotgun shells to his shotgun. There was no way my stun baton could do any damage, no way his knuckles could do any damage. Loot goblins are end game--or at least not to be in the green zone, again, as before they "patched" it, we had our first encounter...

I am asking two questions at once, I will just say what happened:

My partner and I (both 43) have been together for nearly 7 years. He knows I like sex to be like a quickie--I feel like I did a fantastic job pleasing him--he loves it--and, we get to sleep longer--Win Win!!

He says he wants to last longer like when he was in his 20s but he says "You make that impossible" *another pat on the back to me*

He said "Usually when you are with someone for years you can last longer, but I can't with you".

This is the longest relationship for both of us, so, I ask the men of this sub,

1. In a long term relationship, can you last longer or is it just like it has been in the beginning--maybe quickies--could you not contain it?

Or,

2. Also for the older gentlemen, Do you last longer now that you've aged? Has your stamina stayed the same?

Thank you in advance for answering. I will read all the answers, but may only reply to few.