u/Massive-Reporter9804

For those of you unfamiliar with mid 2000s emo sensation Say Anything, they were not very good. Some would even say “incredibly annoying.” Generally popular with people under 20, their singer joins the Jesse Laceys of the world, as a gross older man who preyed on teenaged girls around him that enjoyed his music. The subreddit for the band has a LOT of receipts for those fielding morbid curiosity, and he’s trying to blame it on mental health yadda yadda. Can we stop having nasty mfs please, I’m so tired

I just got to the part on episode 7 where Stassi and Taylor are in Taylor’s bed after Teddy leaves. Taylor says she has to give Stassi credit for not weaponizing and withholding her kids from her mother. Maybe I’m not getting an accurate read on the situation but that seems like such a bullshit ass kissing thing to say.

One could argue that letting her mother have access to her children would be to their detriment. Look at how she is still treating her adult children and all the manipulative tactics she employs. Her mother is no doubt talking shit about Stassi to her grandchildren when Stassi upsets her. What about when the children get older and they upset Dayna?

I get it, I have a mother very similar, so maybe I’m just biased. I was actually lowkey triggered during Georgi’s housewarming party when Stassi and Dayna were arguing and she brought up Patrick and how Dayna loved when Stassi needed her.

Before I went NC with my mom, we resorted to emailing our feelings and she responded to my concerns about her behavior and her place in my life with every mistake I made and all the times she was there for me. Hmmm crazy because as a mother myself, what she described was like basic mothering lol. Of course mothers like this think we owe them our first born, literally.

Anyway, I know this is just a show and they manufactured the drama but you can tell the dynamic is still very much delusional and rejected mother vs deeply wounded and parentified eldest daughter. It takes a lot of work to change these patterns but it would be cool to see some growth from Stassi in the next season, since she claims reality tv is more effective than therapy lol.

I’ve been mostly nc with my jnm since December 2023. She clearly stills views me as a petulant naive child. I’m bursting at the seams with anger and offense at her random reconciliation attempt. There’s no reconciling- the fact she felt it was appropriate to say what she did and that it would be met with any kind of positivity is exactly why.

For context, we’ve always had a rocky relationship. She’s kicked my sister and I out of the house multiple times when we were children, she abandoned us as our father passed to get reconstructive elective surgeries, she cannot take any accountability whatsoever, everything is always someone else’s fault. In spring of 2023 I moved closer to my grandparents in a house they own, her father and step mother. December of 2023 he passed and she made my grandmas (her step mom) life a living hell.

Luckily I’ve been close by to help and with that my grandmother and I have gotten very close. She has been my grandmother my entire life, and has never changed in her care and love for us grandkids. However my mother was still a child when my grandpa started dating my grandma (my grandma is only like a decade older than my mom) for which she has clearly never gotten over. My grandma is who she is referring to in the text, also possibly my husband’s family who was very supportive during my daughter’s traumatic birth.

I’m sorry if this is random and all over the place i just don’t know where else to share this so I can get some commiseration lol. She’s insane for thinking any of these words would pull at my heart strings lol.

Here’s the text-

“I love you so much, I’m fading each day without you and your children. I’ve been blindsided as to the reasons, and can see you live in (grandmothers) house and maybe you’re under pressure. I also know the the allination started when you got pregnant with (daughter) and I was exiled. Yes I had a incident where I needed help and instead of support I was chastated for it, I texted you, (grandmother) and (sister). I know your under the control of those who offer you more than I could have at the time. And I will always love you with open arms. I just hope we can turn this around before its to late. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰”

So. Dramatic. I want to pop off so bad but I know it will only fall on deaf ears and lead to more back and forth which I am not going to do. Also the incident she’s referring to is when she got super high on mushrooms in her beach resort community and went home with a random dude who she thought was trying to traffic her? We live states away and she was calling all of us trying to get us to call the police or something. Either way the incident doesn’t even touch on my issues with her lol.

I cannot get over my anger. It seems like he’s completely moved on and acts as if I should do the same. He doesn’t say it, of course not. His words are all affirming and sympathetic. It’s been almost 3 months. He still has the blockers on his phone but that’s the only thing that has stuck. No more therapy, no more reading his self help books, no more podcasts, no more d2c. To be fair I have been dissociating from the real work as well but I don’t feel that the onus should be on me to fix this. I logically know it isn’t but it’s all just so confusing. I want to give up and I feel like we almost switched roles, I’m being avoidant and defensive and I’ve been binge watching any bravo show I can. He even watches with me and I don’t even care that it’s mostly women in bikinis. He hardly initiates sex and when he does I can hardly ever orgasm, surprisingly not because he doesn’t try… it still makes me upset with him and then there’s even more pressure. Mother’s Day is coming up and I am trying so hard to stay present and not be preemptively disappointed. I just feel like I’ve seen too much and I can’t go back to thinking he was this amazing person anymore. I used to feel so lucky and now I feel burdened. I feel like if I told him how I truly felt he would not be able to come back from it either. I don’t know if these feelings are even true, since it hasn’t been 6 months and they say not to make drastic decisions until that time has passed… UGH I’m sorry for the rambling mess but I needed to get this out. No one understands besides you all. It’s a blessing and a curse.