u/Massive_Contact8583

As a big Game of Thrones fan and someone who works in the theatre industry I obviously had to drag myself to Stratford to see this!

I think it’s currently just scraping into the 4 star region, and with some refinements has the capacity to be a top-band 4 star or maybe even 5 star show. It’s clearly still in development, and I’m aware that things are still being changed show to show.

It’s so clearly expensive to produce that I am utterly convinced there will be a future life for this show, and I suspect they’re targeting the West End first. I don’t see a lot of scope for a touring production because of the way the staging is configured.

The Good (Why I’m Glad I Saw It)

A lot of the performances are fantastic. My particular standouts were Elizabeth Ayodele as Elia, Maxim Ays as Jaime, Noah Ritter as Rhaegar, Michael Shaeffer as Aerys and Tanisha Spring as Ashara Dayne. The biggest standout for me was Mariah Gale as Rhaella. She only appears as that character in one Act but she steals the show every scene she’s in.

The staging is extremely interesting; sort of a combination of in the round and traverse with a cruciform shape. This really added to a sense of awe and scale, and was in its own way quite immersive.

The production design is absolutely sumptuous. It’s a feast for the eyes, and a lot of it was quite ambitious. A special shoutout for the puppetry which was absolutely masterful and at its best when representing creatures; dogs, horses, >!dragons!<.

I absolutely loved getting to see more of the dynamics of Aerys’ court - these were all my favourite sections. The relationships in the Kingsguard, Rhaella - really interesting and gave colour and light to something that has always been 2 dimensional in the series & books.

The Bad (Things I Hope They’ll Refine Before a Transfer)

Unfortunately, I think the two leading Starks (Lyanna & Ned) are a little miscast. I found both of their Northern accents to be jarring and unfamiliar in their mouths. Michael Abubakar didn’t offer a very grounded Ned, which was very at odds with what I know of the character from the show & books. He’s also of very diminutive stature and while this shouldn’t hold him back, it definitely led to awkward scenes; for example, there’s a section where he “holds back” Robert Baratheon from attacking The Mad King, which was unintentionally comical because he was about half the size of the actor playing Rob. I feel that more awareness of the dynamics was needed by the director here.

Those performances not resonating is particularly problematic given that it seems the writers are trying to make these two characters the emotional heart of the story. Dramaturgically there’s some work to be done in general here; Act I feels very much like “Lyanna’s story” and then, as she is effectively absent in Act II due to >!her pregnancy!< they pass the baton to Ned without really having done the work to make that change effective. They’re leaning heavily on the audience already having goodwill for Ned and an understanding of who he is from the TV series, which is a bit lazy, and if they want this show to reach a non-fan audience will need revision.

I think the writers would benefit from considering whose story they’re telling in this show. Is it Rhaegar’s, Elia’s, Lyanna’s, Ned’s? You could make an argument for any of them. A TV series as long as GoT can afford to give equal weight to contrasting, nuanced perspectives, but a theatre show (even a mammoth 4 hour one) needs to pick a lane and stick to it a little more. Currently the story doesn’t necessarily feel self-contained, which again, could be problematic if they want to access non-fan audiences. A clearer tightening of this would also help create better cohesion between Act I and Act II, which are currently a little disparate.

A lot happens off-stage that I thought should have been on, and vice versa. It would be far better for an audience to see The Knight of the Laughing Tree ride rather than see Rhaegar win several rounds of jousting against knights. Similarly it would have been infinitely preferable to see >!Rhaegar and Lyanna run away together!< than any of the scenes with Catelyn Tully, whose inclusion felt entirely like fan service. I generally had an issue in Act II, as the play’s chronology started to line up with things we’ve seen in other material - the writers seemed to get caught between wanting to show “new” scenes, and feeling like they had to include things we’ve seen in the series and books, leading to at least one scene that’s lifted verbatim from the TV show. I absolutely could have done without that rehash after being there for nearly 4 hours!

The Ugly (Theatre Sins)

The cast is huge, and they’ve clearly prioritised acting talent over securing movers but there are several scenes dependent on fight choreography delivered by people who simply can’t do it. It looks very clumsy in places. Especially since they’ve got some very interesting conceits going on with lighting & sound in the combat sequences - those cues needed to be tight, and they were quite the opposite. Also - for a show that tries to be very realistic in places (we get fake urine and fake amniotic fluid splashed about the stage) - no blood?!

While I commend the puppetry for animals, there were several fight sequences where puppets were swapped in for the actors. This looked so clunky, slowed down the action, and was completely unnecessary. This is the biggest thing I hope they change if this show has a future life.

The transitions are not slick at all. This is partially due to the stage configuration (which I wouldn’t change), but almost every scene was bookended with several long seconds as the actors tried to hurry off the absolutely massive stage, which again slowed the production down and contributed to the fat runtime. Solutions would probably include (1) transferring to a smaller stage and (2) allowing the next scene to start as the previous scene is ending - the stage is “zoned” such that this would be relatively easy. This was actually deployed in a few places and really worked.

Overall Verdict / TLDR

Makings of a really good show. Currently trading more on spectacle than story, but I think in the hands of the right dramaturg it could be made really compelling.

With some tightening I think it could be a truly stand-out West End show, but there’s some refinement to do before it will appeal to people who aren’t already fans of the source material.

My partner had a “fun” sports car (Porsche). The seal popped and the car filled with water, damaging all the electronics. He took it to a garage in Feb 2024 and they said that there was a part they needed that was no longer made and they’d have to wait for one to become available. He paid a fee to keep it at the garage for a year. In Feb 2025 he ultimately was like “what is going on” and they said they didn’t think the car could be fixed and needed to be scrapped. They offered to pay £5k for the value of the parts (obviously way less than the value of the car.)

My partner agreed, the garage paid £5k via bank transfer “for the parts”. Never asked for the keys or V5, we still have those. They said they would take care of any reporting that needed to be done about the car being scrapped. In the last month we’ve had two notices from the police about speeding, with photographs of the car being driven around our area.

He has written to the police about the speeding fines & points, but obviously we still own the car - it’s still registered to us, we have the V5, we have the keys. (1) How do we prove it wasn’t him speeding, (2) Do we need to report the car as stolen? (3) Was it fraudulent of the garage to claim the car needed to be scrapped when obviously they have just resold it - in an extremely dodgy way? I don’t know how the car is currently being taxed or insured, either.

The police haven’t got back to us yet, I’m basically trying to understand what we need to expect about likely next steps.

How do you handle keeping clothes straight between each house, if at all?

This is a slightly hot button issue in our situation as the kids’ mom is a real down to earth tomboy, but my stepdaughter is very girly (and so am I.) Her mom thinks this is a bit of a moral failing and exclusively dresses her in secondhand clothes/tells her she shouldn’t care about clothes beyond function.

So I buy her nice clothes that she likes, but if these go back to her mom’s house they “go missing” or get ruined (cue a lecture on “this is why you don’t buy kids good stuff, because they just ruin it when they play”…but this never happens at our house because, you know, I make sure she’s wearing clothes appropriate for the activity.)

I’ve recently taken to washing the clothes they arrive in and sending them home in those clothes so we keep the stuff we buy and vice versa, but I’ve had feedback that this is “insulting” and “like I don’t trust [their mom]”. So now I’m at a bit of a loss. What does “normal” look like for other people here?

ETA there was a deleted comment suggesting I was being “judgy” that her mom doesn’t buy nice clothes. I typed out a response before the comment got deleted so might as well use it; I’m not judgemental of her approach, and I apologise if it comes off that way.

I do however resent being forcibly held to that same approach, to the detriment of a little girl (who is upset when she can’t find her “nice things” because she wants to feel pretty), not to mention the complete waste of money it represents (which is ironic, given that that is exactly what she says she is trying to take a stance against.)

In general I get along with her very well, and think she’s a great mom, but on this particular topic she is trying to prove a point and I feel that it’s gone too far.

I’m posting on behalf of my husband, who does not “do” Reddit.

Key background to the long distance: My husband and his ex wife have been divorced for 6 years (initiated while she was pregnant with their youngest child.) Legally they had 50/50 custody but practically he was the primary parent due to her work until 3 years ago. His ex wife is a pediatric specialist in a niche area that only has a few centres in our country. She got her residency-equivalent (we aren’t American) at the centre not in our area (where she trained), but at one 4 hours away. She would not take up the residency if the children remained here. After a lot of mediation and soul-searching, the decision was made that she should relocate with the children.

Was this a perfect decision? No. And my husband has come to bitterly regret it. The coparenting relationship that was quite effective with familiarity and frequent communication broke down quite a bit after she moved. There have been resentments and fault on both sides. I would basically boil it down to; she resents that she has to do the day to day, he resents that she gets to do the day to day, and neither of them are very capable of having empathy for the other’s position.

The present issue: The CO is such that my husband exercises his custodial time during school holidays, for which he has always done the travel. His ex feels that this is unfair because she doesn’t get recreation time with the children. They are going through mediation to find a better solution. My husband has entered into mediation with the proposal that they could instead alternate school holidays. His ex has entered with the proposal that he could instead rent temporary accommodation (ie Airbnb), work remotely from her city, and exercise custodial time in weeklong stretches during school time. (Other relevant information might be that my husband currently pays significantly over statutory support costs per private contractual agreement between them, and is responsible for all costs related to facilitating his custodial time. This is already quite a steep expense and we feel we have done our fair share, if not more than.)

Obviously, my husband & I think that this proposal is completely impractical and would be unnecessarily disruptive to both our lives and the children’s routine. We don’t know anyone else in a long-distance situation; is this in any way a standard or usual arrangement? If you have had to do it how does it work, especially financially? Was it court-ordered? Do the courts even approve of such things?

Appreciate any guidance offered.

ETA other possibly relevant information: the children in question are 9 & 6 years old. I have one child from a previous relationship who lives full time with us, and am currently pregnant with a child with my husband (which is why I find the proposed solution a little unexpected and concerning.)

I’m aware that this is not a unique experience, as the only daughter of three children. My brothers need constant reminding of Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and our parents’ birthdays.

They are in their mid-forties, with families of their own. It’s embarassing at this point that they care so little for their own father that they can’t remember these basic things.

They failed to acknowledge my mother’s 60th birthday at all. We have different mothers so you might think fair enough, but she effectively raised them, still runs around after them and watches their children *for free*, and my parents have given them financial gifts over the years (paid 50% of their weddings, paid 50% of first home deposits), so you’d think they could at least send a text.

If I don’t text them weeks in advance and pressure them with questions about what they’re getting, they would ignore every single occasion, except Christmas because my parents host. They usually turn up with vouchers for that at least.

I have stopped chasing them because I’m busy enough with my own life and don’t need this shit, but it hurts my parents’ feelings to be so disregarded and that makes me feel awful. They’re good people who don’t deserve it. I could understand it if they had bad relationships, but they don’t - at least as my brothers would see it. They just want to be able to dip in and dip out as it suits them and never do a thing for anyone else.

My father’s last birthday I ended up just putting their names on my gift because they forgot. I myself haven’t had a birthday present from them since childhood. We all get emailed a list for their own spouse’s birthdays. I just can’t fathom how self-absorbed you have to be to run your life like this.

We have a very HCBM. A broke-into-my-house-one time, level of high conflict. I’m honestly just not used to or equipped to dealing with such things, so this whole process has been a learning curve.

We’ve had a year of practicing radical acceptance. We’ve had no arguments about HCBM. We treat her like inclement weather that cannot be controlled. Everything has been good.

We’re selling our house. Monday we get a call from our agent to let us know that HCBM has called asking for updates. From our agent. Because she wants to know how much money DH is likely to be getting from a sale. Obviously they told her to pound sand.

But I just broke, my nervous system went into hyperdrive. I just feel like my privacy and space have been violated again (see paragraph one.)

I told my husband he should call and say that’s not acceptable. He repeated back at me the gray rock strategy that we’d agreed on and how she would feed off the attention, that she won’t correct her behavior, she just has to be ignored. And I know he’s right. I know it, I know it. I’ve said it myself.

I couldn’t help it, I took a plate off the kitchen counter and smashed it on the floor. I’m just so frustrated at this woman for getting away with bad behavior again and again and again. It violates my internal sense of fairness.

And every time she pulls this nonsense, I have to equip myself to welcome her kids into my home with a smile on my face and never let on how much their mother scares the life out of me.

My husband and I have toured a house listed at a price of £900k.

However, it needs quite a bit of work doing (e.g. it needs repointed, among other things.) It’s a Georgian property and hasn’t been maintained *extremely* well. (It’s effectively a summer home for the current owners so this is to be expected.)

After a discussion with his father (who is a chartered surveyor), my husband wants to offer £795k, as he feels that’s what the discount rate is for the required work.

This is 88% of current list price, and the property has been for sale since July last year so I think they’re probably expecting for the price to come down a bit.

However, for the sake of an additional 5k I can’t help but feel it would be worth clearing the psychological barrier of being within 100k.

Thoughts?

My husband owns a house from before we met. We are upsizing. The house needs to sell in order for us not to be whacked with second home stamp duty as we’re purchasing a house together.

The problem is that the estate agents we’ve spoken to have vastly, vastly different views on how the house should be priced. We’ve had one as high as £535k and insisting it should be “offers over” that, even. One at £425k. One at £485k. The bank values it at £502k. Bought ten years ago for £415k.

There aren’t really any comps we can use because it’s a period cottage with character features in the middle of the Cambridgeshire countryside. It’s a very “unique” property and therefore I think will have a limited buyer pool.

We need to price it to sell, really, but understandably my husband is very worried that if we go with the lowest price that he’ll be leaving money on the table. Whereas I’m worried if we go at the higher end with where the market is right now we could end up sitting on it for months, which we don’t want either.

Has anyone faced a similar situation? Where have you found it best to sit in terms of pricing strategy with such disparate valuations?

My husband’s ex is really competitive with him as a parent. We’ve had pockets of high-conflict behaviour over the years but to her credit she has owned some of her past insecurities and controlling behaviour and got a lot better, and this is now the main issue in our “coparenting”.

She is a really good mom, but wants to be all things to the kids. She hates having to split custody at all, a lot of her identity is wrapped up in being a mother so the coparenting is really hard for her (this is in her own words). This manifests a lot as constantly trying to one-up or prevent us from doing “special things” with the kids. Every holiday, birthday etc. that should fall on our time is a battle because she wants to be involved as much as possible. If we buy a gift, she has to buy them the best version of that thing from her so she’s still the “top” parent.

A lot of our lives look like her ferreting out information about our plans and then one-upping. Or, if she can’t, being a bit sulky and crying down the phone about “missing out.” It is what it is, I’ve largely made my peace with it.

The kids’ next break from school is our time, and we have planned to take them on a little staycation to a nearby town with a particular feature, let’s say a petting zoo. This is my first time taking PTO this year and it’s been an expensive trip (we’re currently buying a house so have otherwise been extremely frugal the past few months) so I asked my husband not to make a big deal of it, because I wanted to be able to have one thing that didn’t get turned into a contest.

Well, it was my SD’s birthday last week and at her party BM says to us “so what are your plans over break?” And I was thinking “please be non-comittal” but my husband is a shit liar, especially under pressure and said “oh! We’ve booked *local town* to do *petting zoo.*” I’m not about to argue with him over it so I let it go. She’s their mom, she should know where they’re going to be blah blah.

Welp. Last night we get a text “hey, I was just thinking because I have the kids for the weekend after they break up from school, why don’t we [as in her and her husband] go to “local town” and get them settled in, and we can do handover there for a change! So, I’ve booked a cabin for us Friday-Sunday :))”

It has honestly soured me on the whole thing. Now I’m taking a week of PTO and have dropped $1k on a trip where I’m going to turn up and the kids are going to be like “oh we already at that restaurant with mom so maybe we should go somewhere else.”

I just want one fucking thing. And I knew she would pull something like this if she knew we were doing a trip. And I don’t want to argue with my husband about it. But the pattern is blindingly obvious at this point and I wish he’d wake up a bit.