I was wondering if I should reschedule my NCLEX for a few days from now. I’ve been studying for a few weeks and have done 2 of the uworld assessments which both say I have a high rate of passing. I have some personal matters that are really stressing me out and I just want to have one less thing on my plate.
My ex recently ended our relationship, and the reason he gave was that I was too ahead of him in life. I’m struggling to understand what that actually means.
For context, I make good money in a stable job, I’ve been saving for a house (already have 20k), and I’ve been planning for my future. He, on the other hand, was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do long-term. He had talked about going back to school as he took a degree with no jobs in our area but was planning on taking another degree with a poor employment rate after graduation. We had one disagreement over the employment situation after graduation he had also had this discussion with his parents and came to the conclusion that he should chose something else. I told him many times that I would support him in whatever he chose and I was just trying to help him.
He always knew about my timeline and goals, and for the entirety of our relationship he seemed excited about them. He constantly talked about wanting to marry me, have kids together, and move in together. We even exchanged promise rings because he said he saw a future with me. The promise rings were entirely his idea and he would often bring up the conversation of marriage and kids all on his own (more than I did).
Then for around 3 days, he became distant and eventually ended things. He said we were at different places in life.
I’m confused because I never expected him to have everything figured out or to be exactly where I was. I loved him for who he was, not for his career or finances. I never pressured him to catch up, and I was willing to build a future together at our own pace, even agreeing to slow down and go at his pace a few days before the breakup.
Has anyone experienced something similar, either as the person who left or the one who was left? Is this a genuine reason people end relationships, or is it often a way of expressing something else like insecurity, feeling inadequate, or simply falling out of love?
I’d really appreciate hearing different perspectives because I’m trying to make sense of it.
I’m struggling a lot right now. I’m hoping you guys can remind me that this wasn’t my soulmate. I made a list attached of thing he did/things I didn’t like about him.
The breakup came completely out of nowhere. Two days earlier he was sending me text after text about how he couldn’t wait to marry me and have children with me. Today he came over for what I thought was a date, broke up with me, and while I was sobbing he just said, “I gotta go,” and left. The only explanation I got was that we’re “in different places in life.” I had just graduated, landed a job making $90k/year, and already have $20k saved toward a down payment. He’s completely unsure what he wants to do with his life, but I had always told him I’d support him while he figured it out.
When I miss him, this is what I need to remember:
- He was in a fraternity and was accused of raping someone. Cried when telling me because it “ruined his life”
- He would make fun of overweight women in public and tell me he wouldn’t love me if I ever looked like them. He would literally point strangers out. He was in fact overweight himself his boobs were larger then mine:/
- He shut down or cried anytime I tried to have a serious conversation, so we could never work through problems.
- He ruined important moments by making everything about his mood, including my graduation dinner with my family.
- He drank and partied with his friends constantly. It wasn’t my lifestyle, but I started drinking much more than I normally would just to fit into his world, and it started affecting my own life.
- He had no direction or goals for his future and openly said he didn’t think he’d ever own a home.
- He had no plans to move out of his parents’ house.
- He had about $30k of debt from buying a brand-new car while still living with his parents.
- He chose his degree based solely on what interested him, despite there being virtually no jobs in our city, and then wanted to go back to school because he couldn’t find work. Only to pick another degree with zero prospects in our city.
- His work ethic was low and he acted like working full-time was too much.
- He insisted on splitting everything 50/50, but when it was my turn to pay he’d conveniently choose the most expensive restaurant and remind me, “You know it’s your turn, right?” Sometimes he’d just stand behind me after ordering and wait for me to pay. Even when it wasn’t my turn
- He sighed constantly and would pout if anyone asked him to stop.
- He didn’t get me anything for my birthday.
I’m struggling a lot right now. I’m hoping you guys can remind me that this wasn’t my soulmate.
The breakup came completely out of nowhere. Two days earlier he was sending me text after text about how he couldn’t wait to marry me and have children with me. Today he came over for what I thought was a date, broke up with me, and while I was sobbing he just said, “I gotta go,” and left. The only explanation I got was that we’re “in different places in life.” I had just graduated, landed a job making $90k/year, and already have $20k saved toward a down payment. He’s completely unsure what he wants to do with his life, but I had always told him I’d support him while he figured it out.
When I miss him, this is what I need to remember:
- He was in a fraternity and was accused of raping someone. Cried when telling me because it “ruined his life”
- He would make fun of overweight women in public and tell me he wouldn’t love me if I ever looked like them. He would literally point strangers out. He was in fact overweight himself his boobs were larger then mine:/
- He shut down or cried anytime I tried to have a serious conversation, so we could never work through problems.
- He ruined important moments by making everything about his mood, including my graduation dinner with my family.
- He drank and partied with his friends constantly. It wasn’t my lifestyle, but I started drinking much more than I normally would just to fit into his world, and it started affecting my own life.
- He had no direction or goals for his future and openly said he didn’t think he’d ever own a home.
- He had no plans to move out of his parents’ house.
- He had about $30k of debt from buying a brand-new car while still living with his parents.
- He chose his degree based solely on what interested him, despite there being virtually no jobs in our city, and then wanted to go back to school because he couldn’t find work. Only to pick another degree with zero prospects in our city.
- His work ethic was low and he acted like working full-time was too much.
- He insisted on splitting everything 50/50, but when it was my turn to pay he’d conveniently choose the most expensive restaurant and remind me, “You know it’s your turn, right?” Sometimes he’d just stand behind me after ordering and wait for me to pay. Even when it wasn’t my turn
- He sighed constantly and would pout if anyone asked him to stop.
- He didn’t get me anything for my birthday.
I’m struggling a lot right now. I’m hoping you guys can remind me that this wasn’t my soulmate.
The breakup came completely out of nowhere. Two days earlier he was sending me text after text about how he couldn’t wait to marry me and have children with me. Today he came over for what I thought was a date, broke up with me, and while I was sobbing he just said, “I gotta go,” and left. The only explanation I got was that we’re “in different places in life.” I had just graduated, landed a job making $90k/year, and already have $20k saved toward a down payment. He’s completely unsure what he wants to do with his life, but I had always told him I’d support him while he figured it out.
When I miss him, this is what I need to remember:
- He was in a fraternity and was accused of raping someone. Cried when telling me because it “ruined his life”
- He would make fun of overweight women in public and tell me he wouldn’t love me if I ever looked like them. He would literally point strangers out. He was in fact overweight himself his boobs were larger then mine:/
- He shut down or cried anytime I tried to have a serious conversation, so we could never work through problems.
- He ruined important moments by making everything about his mood, including my graduation dinner with my family.
- He drank and partied with his friends constantly. It wasn’t my lifestyle, but I started drinking much more than I normally would just to fit into his world, and it started affecting my own life.
- He had no direction or goals for his future and openly said he didn’t think he’d ever own a home.
- He had no plans to move out of his parents’ house.
- He had about $30k of debt from buying a brand-new car while still living with his parents.
- He chose his degree based solely on what interested him, despite there being virtually no jobs in our city, and then wanted to go back to school because he couldn’t find work. Only to pick another degree with zero prospects in our city.
- His work ethic was low and he acted like working full-time was too much.
- He insisted on splitting everything 50/50, but when it was my turn to pay he’d conveniently choose the most expensive restaurant and remind me, “You know it’s your turn, right?” Sometimes he’d just stand behind me after ordering and wait for me to pay. Even when it wasn’t my turn
- He sighed constantly and would pout if anyone asked him to stop.
- He didn’t get me anything for my birthday.
I’m struggling not to break no contact, so I thought I’d post a list of the things that made this relationship unhealthy. I’m hoping you guys can remind me that this wasn’t my soulmate.
The breakup came completely out of nowhere. Two days earlier he was sending me text after text about how he couldn’t wait to marry me and have children with me. Today he came over for what I thought was a date, broke up with me, and while I was sobbing he just said, “I gotta go,” and left. The only explanation I got was that we’re “in different places in life.” I had just graduated, landed a job making $90k/year, and already have $20k saved toward a down payment. He’s completely unsure what he wants to do with his life, but I had always told him I’d support him while he figured it out.
When I miss him, this is what I need to remember:
- He was in a fraternity and was accused of raping someone. Cried when telling me because it “ruined his life”
- He would make fun of overweight women in public and tell me he wouldn’t love me if I ever looked like them. He would literally point strangers out. He was in fact overweight himself his boobs were larger then mine:/
- He shut down or cried anytime I tried to have a serious conversation, so we could never work through problems.
- He ruined important moments by making everything about his mood, including my graduation dinner with my family.
- He drank and partied with his friends constantly. It wasn’t my lifestyle, but I started drinking much more than I normally would just to fit into his world, and it started affecting my own life.
- He had no direction or goals for his future and openly said he didn’t think he’d ever own a home.
- He had no plans to move out of his parents’ house.
- He had about $30k of debt from buying a brand-new car while still living with his parents.
- He chose his degree based solely on what interested him, despite there being virtually no jobs in our city, and then wanted to go back to school because he couldn’t find work. Only to pick another degree with zero prospects in our city.
- His work ethic was low and he acted like working full-time was too much.
- He insisted on splitting everything 50/50, but when it was my turn to pay he’d conveniently choose the most expensive restaurant and remind me, “You know it’s your turn, right?” Sometimes he’d just stand behind me after ordering and wait for me to pay. Even when it wasn’t my turn
- He sighed constantly and would pout if anyone asked him to stop.
- He didn’t get me anything for my birthday.
Edit:
I just remembered when I asked him his plans on moving out of his parents house he told me his aunt is old and her health is declining so he hopes he gets her apartment. I was also the first person to tell him how much rent/houses cost in our area.
I’m struggling not to break no contact, so I thought I’d post a list of the things that made this relationship unhealthy. I’m hoping you guys can remind me that this wasn’t my soulmate.
The breakup came completely out of nowhere. Two days earlier he was sending me text after text about how he couldn’t wait to marry me and have children with me. Today he came over for what I thought was a date, broke up with me, and while I was sobbing he just said, “I gotta go,” and left. The only explanation I got was that we’re “in different places in life.” I had just graduated, landed a job making $90k/year, and already have $20k saved toward a down payment. He’s completely unsure what he wants to do with his life, but I had always told him I’d support him while he figured it out.
When I miss him, this is what I need to remember:
- He was in a fraternity and was accused of raping someone. Cried when telling me because it “ruined his life”
- He would make fun of overweight women in public and tell me he wouldn’t love me if I ever looked like them. He would literally point strangers out. He was in fact overweight himself his boobs were larger then mine:/
- He shut down or cried anytime I tried to have a serious conversation, so we could never work through problems.
- He ruined important moments by making everything about his mood, including my graduation dinner with my family.
- He drank and partied with his friends constantly. It wasn’t my lifestyle, but I started drinking much more than I normally would just to fit into his world, and it started affecting my own life.
- He had no direction or goals for his future and openly said he didn’t think he’d ever own a home.
- He had no plans to move out of his parents’ house.
- He had about $30k of debt from buying a brand-new car while still living with his parents.
- He chose his degree based solely on what interested him, despite there being virtually no jobs in our city, and then wanted to go back to school because he couldn’t find work. Only to pick another degree with zero prospects in our city.
- His work ethic was low and he acted like working full-time was too much.
- He insisted on splitting everything 50/50, but when it was my turn to pay he’d conveniently choose the most expensive restaurant and remind me, “You know it’s your turn, right?” Sometimes he’d just stand behind me after ordering and wait for me to pay. Even when it wasn’t my turn
- He sighed constantly and would pout if anyone asked him to stop.
- He didn’t get me anything for my birthday.