u/Melon_blob

My parents want me to do amc 12 for one last time (im a senior) since i didnt qual for the past 4 years and im so sick and tired of math olympiad, like i genuinely hate it. I tried putting in a lot of effort sophomore and junior year and i didnt pass, which im not too bummed about since i did put my best foot forward. i just want to move on and focus on other stuff (like physics olympaids) but my parents are so fixated on amc. So like any advice? I dont even have to do good on aime i just need to aime qual.

started as duchess matilda and was going to try to unify italy. everything was going amazing, she lived until a jolly old age (87 i believe), was rich, had 6k piety, amazing reputation, etc. etc.

THEN my good for nothing SON decided to get consumption RIGHT as I was about to die (and I forced all my other sons to take vows so it was like my only heir) and he lived for 3 days then died.

then I played as my son's son, and he apparently was sadistic and lustful so basically EVERYONE hated him, and i got a faction created the moment I took the throne, where the faction had 2x the army size.

atp imma js start another save i give up

I tried ticktick and todoist, and the problem is that i would always input my tasks, forget about the app, then i would finish the tasks on my own, then come back to the app 1 month later and look at a bunch of random tasks.

I really like sticky notes for tasks, but the problem is that i can't plan something 1 week away from now. I want to start using a notebook for that, but I don't really know how to build a whole system from scratch. please lmk if there are any ways that work well for you!!

apps i'm a bit hesitant on considering on using apps because i really like the visual aspect of traditional pen and paper, but if there is an app that can work for me pls lmk!!

Been 2 months clean atp (longer if you dont count a specific incident), and i decided to wear short sleeves at night in a summer camp, when im getting ready for bed. For a month no one commented on my scars (not even a weird look, and im like yeah maybe theres not that many people who would ask about my scars. Theyll probably just assume something and keep quiet. I thinking, “yeah im getting comfortable with my scars out. I will deal with any questions that come along. Im starting to live a normalish life again”

So for another camp, i decided to wear short sleeves for a whole day, because i thought i didnt care. For the first few days no one said anything, until two of my friends finally noticed. They were like “are you ok? those look like self harm scars.” And i tried to play it off, saying those are just scratches. But ofc they didnt buy it and kept asking me if im ok and i panicked and kept saying im fine now, which kinda confirmed their suspicion.

Ofc my friends really mean well, theyre the sweetest people ive ever met and they arent malicious. But the way i got super self conscious of my scars, as i kept noticing them taking glances at my arm on the way back and saying super sweet things its just AUGHHHHHHHH too much for me

I guess i better order the arm sleeves and scar fading ointment and concealer 🫩✌️

going to a pretty prestigious research camp soon and im so scared collegues/mentors will judge me with my scars :/// especially when im tryna build connections. if only im smarter and more experienced (which im not) that way no one can judge since i have the authority.

human relationships are complicated... the scars are like a shameful branding :/

i don't really know what to put for the title... but its just very confusing.

So ive been clean for a couple of months now (minus once where I relapsed) so most of my cuts has faded into scars. life's going pretty well and i feel fine, and sometimes i think "man i really wish the self harm episode never happened so I dont have to deal with all these scars." however, this feeling of everythings getting better really makes me feel uncomfortable, if that makes sense. my brain keeps telling me that the self harm episode i had was me being a dramatic teen, im overreacting, im attention seeking, "wow you're so weak because you can't handle a bit of stress" etc. and it makes me really embarrassed of my past self. is this suppose to be normal?? like i just have a hard time accepting the fact that something is/was wrong when i feel fine 90% of the time.

i also have this going on and idk if its normal its just when i just suddenly have the urge to cut again. and its so weird because usually the urge pops out of nowhere. everything could be going fine and im not feeling any strong emotions (like self-hatred). its kinda like craving for candy ig??? and i really want to ask if its normal. because this feeling often goes away quickly (like when i distract myself with scrolling) and when it does i end up feeling super guilty and the whole "my experiences are not valid" in the 1st paragraph starts again.

Anyone else??? Im so anxious 😭 esp physics mech and lang

i have normal to oily skin, and i also have acne scars so im looking for something that will even out my skin + lightly cover my scars without looking too makeupy.

ive been doing a lot of research and im debating on whether or not to get the maybelline dream fresh bb cream. some people say its way too sheer, so im a bit hesitant. also, i dont know how well it will react with my skin because i saw on amazon its for normal to dry skin types.

so yeah rn im debating between maybelline and missha bb cream (the red one. i dont think missha is drugstore but the price on amazon is relatively reasonable) but i also saw missha looks gray on asian skin. any recommendations?

i have a save that is like 99% on its way to perfection but i still want to play on it after i achieved perfection. i know a lot of mods (like sve) require you to start a new save to avoid losing the save, but what sorta mods won't crash and is safe to add?

im not rlly good w computer stuff so :")

i was talking to my parents and they were talking about buying me prom dresses... and im so scared because my scars are pretty noticable on my arms and i do not want them to see it... is there a way to fade scars fast? my past cuts have been rlly surface level (minimal bleeding) but the scars are dark brown outline with a white line in the middle (some of the older ones are very faint white lines.

if its not possible to fade in like a month is there any concealer recommendations? pls help!!!

Dont lose hope, i thought i wouldnt get into sra because of my lack of experience but now im here!!!!

ive been clean for a couple weeks atp, and I think (i hope lol) im in a better mindset to stop cutting altogether. however, i do have some brown edged white scars on my left forearm. im hoping they fade before summer starts since my cuts are always superficial, but I keep picking at the scabs.

anyways with summer coming up i have a really weird feeling about my scars. ive seen a lot of influencers on instagram just plainly having their scars out in the public, saying "you shouldn't be ashamed of your scars." while I do 101% agree with that sentiment, for me these scars aren't an embarrassment issue: its more private vs. public matter. i'm not ashamed of my past or the mental health struggles ive been through, but i also wouldn't want to be sharing it to everyone around me as I walk around

so yeah i've just been stuck in the middle recently. I play on my school's sports team, and with summer coming up it would be very uncomfortable to wear even those thin uv protecting jackets. for physical comfort, i would just go barearm and show my scars publicly. however, im also a very private person, and mental health is the most vulnerable side of me that i'm not too willing to broadcast it to the world. i'm wondering if anyone else has a similar experience and is willing to give some advice.

Usually I dont study that much everyday (2-3 hrs max) but I have exams soon so over the weekend Im spending the whole day studying. I realize that I don't have that good of endurance when studying. Like I would study for 1-2 hrs no problem then get tired and doomscroll for an hour before getting back on track (but more tired + distracted) and that pattern repeats.

i'm wondering how should i take my breaks so that it is meaningful + i get back fully recharged, and also maybe increase the length of each study session.

what are your tips?