u/Mewnicorns

I’ve been looking at before and after pictures of Nuface and Foreo Bear results and I feel like I’m going crazy. They look exactly the same to me. I can’t even tell which picture is the before and which is the after. They all have labels saying things like “lifted brow” and “sculpted cheekbone” but it feels like low key gaslighting because my own eyeballs see absolutely no difference. I want to believe they are effective, but I can’t find a single unbiased or objective study attesting to that. The only “science” seems to be coming from the brands themselves.

The caveat is that the before and after pics seem to overwhelmingly be of young women who already have good skin and bone structure so obviously they won’t show much improvement when there was nothing to improve in the first place.

Nevertheless, I remain skeptical.

Back story: I ordered a 28 lb. bag of 9 Lives kibble thinking I needed a large quantity of cat food, but circumstances changed and I no longer need it. Since I already opened it, Morris Animal Refuge said they couldn’t accept it. I hate to waste so much perfectly good food so I’m looking to see if anyone knows of a rescue that will take it? Also happy to offer it to any fosters, trappers, or anyone managing a colony if you’re willing to pick up in center city. This much food could feed a lot of kitties!

(Pet food snobs, don’t @ me about how awful 9 Lives is. I have my reasons for buying it and don’t need a lecture)

Pretty much in the subject line. I remember the first step in the obstacle course was a tiny bird-sized bicycle, I think?

Background: My soul kitty died in March and it was absolutely devastating for me. She and I shared a deep emotional and physical connection from the first day I adopted her. She was a very affectionate girl who would purr like an engine the moment she saw me and had a million ways in which she showed me how much she loved me. She was otherwise aggressive and not very trusting with other people, but she trusted me completely and it meant everything to me. She loved me so much that even on the day of her euthanasia, despite feeling so weak and sick, she still purred as I stroked and held her. When they administered the first injection to sedate her, she fought off the sedation. She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to leave me. It broke my heart that I couldn’t give her what she and I both wanted, but I wasn’t given any other choice. My only choices were to let her pass peacefully or watch her struggle to breathe and die in a state of pain and panic, so I chose the former. It still hurts to think about how much she fought to live and stay with me.

After she died, I honestly felt like I wouldn’t be able to love another cat like that again, but I hated coming home to an empty house, so I took in a foster cat. I didn’t immediately bond with him because I was still in a deep state of grief, but we made steady progress and eventually I felt the pain ease up a bit. When it finally came time to send him to his forever home, I was sad, but it made me think I was still capable of loving another kitty and I believed I was ready to invite a new cat into my life. It took a while. There were many disappointments and failed attempts to adopt, but a few months later I finally brought home a new kitty. She was described as being very sweet, social, friendly, and affectionate. She seemed like a good fit. But since bringing her home, I find myself constantly comparing her to my soul cat and feeling disappointed. She isn’t very cuddly and doesn’t seem to really enjoy being pet all that much. She will tolerate it, but that’s about it. She rarely purrs and doesn’t seek me out for anything unless she is hungry. It’s like having a roommate who you split the rent with but otherwise don’t share a relationship with.

I’m trying to be patient. I know it’s not fair to compare and expect her to be like my other cat. I know it has only been a month. But I am struggling with not feeling disappointed and frustrated. It took around 3 months for me to feel like my foster boy and I formed a bond, but I still saw progress along the way. With her, I don’t see any progress. She isn’t anxious or scared at all, just distant. I’m not going to send her back to the rescue or anything. I’ve made a commitment to caring for her and I will honor that. But right now it’s hard to imagine spending the next 15+ years with a cat that just tolerates me in exchange for food. I’m hoping that over time my efforts will pay off, but there is a good chance that this is just who she is and I will have to find it in myself to accept her.

The hard part is that it makes me miss my baby even more. Every time I walk through the door and she ignores me, a memory of my baby chirping with excitement and running to greet me flashes through my mind. Every time I go to pet her and she turns away from me, I remember how my baby would rub her face into my hand and give me kisses. Every day when I wake up and see her from a distance, I remember how my little heart would come up to me for morning cuddles. Every night when I go to bed, I remember how she would follow me and curl up beside me. It honestly feels worse than not having a cat at all. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because it’s not her fault and she deserves better, but I can’t control how I feel.

My first instinct might have been the right one. I probably can’t love another cat as much as I loved my soulmate. Maybe I wasn’t ready to adopt. But I can’t go back and change the past, so I’m going to have to figure out how to make this work.

I am ready to adopt a new cat after my baby passed away in March. I have always only ever had one cat at a time, mostly due to the fact that my last cat hated other cats (which I learned from her reaction to strays she would see through the window), but also because I live in a small space (1 BR apartment).

However I’ve really fallen in love with two sweet girls from different rescues and I’m struggling with deciding which one to adopt. While I wasn’t originally planning on adopting 2 cats, I’m wondering how bad of an idea it would be to get both? They’re obviously not a bonded pair. They are young-ish adults (5 years old and 2 years old). One of them lived with her brother for a while so in theory at least there is some evidence of her getting along with another cat. The other cat doesn’t have any history with other cats so it’s not known how she might get along with them. Especially considering how small my space is, is this a terrible idea? It makes me nervous but I legitimately don’t know how I could say no to either of them 🥺

I’m going for a meet and greet with a foster cat and there seems to be conflicting information about how old she is.

At first she was described as being 8-10 years old, but later they changed her age estimate to 3-5. I asked about this and they said initially when she came in she had really bad dental disease and her coat wasn’t in good condition so they estimated that she was an older cat. But after they extracted her teeth and she was feeling better in her foster home, they said she is “definitely” closer to 3-4 years old.

This is confusing to me because I thought age was largely determined by looking at the teeth. I know it’s not an exact science, but wouldn’t the fact that she had teeth that were in such poor condition as to require a full extraction suggest she is an older cat? I know it doesn’t matter to some people, but it’s important to me to understand what I’m signing up for if she is a senior cat because they have different needs (e.g. I take senior cats to the vet 2x a year vs. only once for younger cats).

I lost my beloved soul cat Mini in March. I feel ready to adopt another cat, but I am reconsidering if I am or if I ever will be. I just don’t feel any connection with the cats I’ve met so far. They’re all very sweet cats, and I know bonds take time, but I can’t help but feel twinges of disappointment when I meet them. Mini bonded with me right from the start. I took her home and she was cuddling with me and purring right out of the carrier. She loved being picked up and held, and she was super affectionate and loving. I know that’s not normal for most cats, but that’s exactly the problem. Mini was so special and unique in so many ways. I know I shouldn’t compare other cats to her, but realistically that’s never going to happen. I will always see her as the benchmark, but that’s not really fair. These kitties deserve to be loved for who they are, and I don’t think I’m capable of offering that. Realizing that just opened another wave of grief as I’m mourning a loss of identity. I used to think I was a cat lady, but I don’t feel like one anymore. I’m just a Mini lady, and Mini doesn’t exist anymore so now I’m nothing.

I’m not really looking for advice I guess, just rambling incoherently into the void. Thanks for reading, if you did.

I’ve had my litter robot for around 2 weeks and my cat has absolutely no interest in it. He was curious about it on the first day I got it, but he has completely ignored it ever since. The worst part is that my attempts to encourage him to use it have backfired spectacularly.

Here is what I did to transition him:

1. Set it up next to his old litterbox (turned off)
2. Added several scoops of old litter to the LR
3. Gradually cleaned the old litterbox less frequently
4. Let the litter in the old litterbox almost run out

I think steps 3-4 ended up being a huge mistake. Making his old box less appealing didn’t encourage him to use the LR, it only encouraged him to start pooping on the floor instead. Even now that I’ve cleaned his old box and replenished the litter, he is still going on the floor. I tried picking the poop off the floor and burying it in the LR to communicate to him that “this is where we poop” but that hasn’t worked either.

For now my only concern is getting him to not poop on the floor. I don’t care if it’s on the old box or the LR. But I have to decide if I should even bother persisting with getting him to use the LR. Before I go through the hassle of returning it, I want to be absolutely sure I tried everything. I tried asking customer service and they were not helpful at all so asking here is my last hope.