u/MiraMiraMiraM

I wanted to throw in a thread for people to just talk about great things women did that make them feel energized.

Frances Perkins is the example I’ll lead with.. she entered the highest levels of American government and helped build institutions that materially improved life for millions. As FDR’s Labor Secretary (and the first woman in a U.S. Cabinet) she was the principal architect of Social Security and helped establish the federal minimum wage, the 40-hour workweek, unemployment protections, restrictions on child labor, and stronger workplace-safety institutions.

It’s that kind of “politics as a mechanism for greater care” that I think we’re missing in patriarchy. Like this is the stuff that sticks around a century later because it’s so popular.

It’s exactly _that_ kind of leadership that I’d expect of a gynarchy.

I do mean this as a thought experiment. What might society look like if sperm banks were more commonly used by women as ways of starting a family? Like what happens if women begin families without men, or with men as stepfathers, or with male spouses as not contributing genetically to the woman’s child?

I’ve been thinking through what access to the workforce did for women in terms of disrupting the older “woman in the kitchen” forced gender role for labor (not that women still don’t do housework AND job ofc). Like this stuff is covered in other feminist spaces but wanted to open the conversation up here.

Feel free to get weird/creative/radical with your thoughts.

This means that you likely have some feeling that women are better than men or otherwise find something attractive in these spaces.

For a minute, focus on YOUR OWN PERSONAL GROWTH. If you’re here because…

…your dick leads you to want to feel subjugated:

Well sorry hon but you can get that in relationships without making it a global societally organizing principle. Recognize that as entitlement (“please society organize around me but in a different way where women do even more of the work”) and that most women would still expect you to step up, you’re half of the population. If you crave that societally, then you can grow your person by better self-regulation.

And if you use AI to explore this in fantasy, STOP. It’s never going to be realistic. Women en masse would never want it. AI means you’re stuck with some machine that can craft the perfect sexual social high for you, meanwhile shifting your own brain so that you’re more dependent on that social high. STOP. It’s never going to be realistic (yes, I’m saying this twice).

…you genuinely believe you’re biologically inferior:

Well sorry hon but brains are plastic. Plenty of men in gynarchic spaces have been acting as role models here. Dig into what you think is better in women (empathy, etc) and learn to model that in yourself, meanwhile familiarize yourself with how women actually experience life so you stay respectful. Do what you can with that plastic brain of yours and don’t give yourself excuses not to do better. Even if organizationally women or female style leadership is still better than hierarchical patriarchy, you’ll always be a person in society with capacity for help/harm so be an adult and get yourself in position to help.

…you are tired of how you’re treated in patriarchy:

I.e. “Society expects me to be in a high stress job or a patriarchal/masculine role for most of my life.. can’t I just hand the keys over?” Well sorry hon but blame the economy and patriarchy first, take a breath, and then reflect on how you want your own relationship with work/role/dependency to be organized in yourself and your relationships.

While it’s possible greater women-led organization of society may help shuffle or rebalance gendered expectation in the household, you need to pause and be careful you aren’t engaging in discussion purely from a place of existential dread or anxious panic. Patriarchy fucking sucks, and it’s good that you recognize that, but try to get your own head above water psychologically so you can better help others do the same.

…you want access to women or want to talk about women or want women to like you:

Recognize you’re treating women as objects or angels or debate partners instead of fellow people. Recognize that if you do that here, you may do it elsewhere. Reflect on that, because you have plenty of growing to do as a person if you haven’t yet made “being a person” require having a face instead of a penis. Women in these spaces are here not for you but because they feel very real pains from patriarchy, so be better by interrogating your actions as selfish.

——

tl;dr: Pause, breathe, determine if you need to self-regulate or have opportunity to grow as a person, and then engage in discussion.

And don’t make women-oriented spaces your place for “I’m doing better now can I get your praise” style posts too.

To some men you may already be over this hump but to others, consider these as ideas for reflection.

I personally find fiction useful as a way of getting hopeful about the future (the way star trek did for some people for “space+tech+social issues”, the way solarpunk does for some people for adaptation under a changing climate)

Any gynarchist version of that for anyone? Or anything close in feel in ways you want to call out?

https://www.reddit.com/r/idealgf/comments/1vdazrw/wellrounded_ideal_gf

(Sorry i font know how to crosspost right)