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What scares me the most is that I genuinely don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love or trust someone the same way again. I have a good job, I make decent money, and people say money is a great leveller in life — but despite all of that, I still feel completely lost.
I had envisioned my entire future with her, and she used to tell me she envisioned hers with me too. That’s the part I still can’t process — how someone can go from talking about forever with you to suddenly seeing nothing at all.
At this point, I don’t even want answers anymore. I just want to let go of the hate, stop carrying this heaviness, and find some peace of mind.
There was a phase in my life when everything felt like it was falling apart — I had lost my job, was struggling with my career, living alone in a one-room place, and had just lost my uncle and grandfather.
Around that time, I adopted this stray indie dog, and somehow she became the one I shared everything with.
She passed away a couple of years ago.
And now that life has thrown another curveball at me and I’m struggling again, I suddenly realize I have no one left to share things with.
It feels lonely, and honestly, I feel a little lost.