u/Miserable-Line5216

I'm a 19-year-old Muslim guy in Egypt, and I'm honestly asking this because I'm reaching my limit mentally (بجد مش قادر)

Before replying, please know that I've already spent years trying the common advices:

- I've struggled with this since I was 11.

- I have a naturally very high libido.

- I've gone long periods without pornography or masturbation, so it's not that I can't control myself for a few days.

- I've seen multiple psychiatrists and therapists over the years.

- I've even tried medications that were supposed to lower my libido.

- Porn leaves me feeling mentally and spiritually awful.

- Masturbation (without porn) also leaves me with guilt because of my religious beliefs.

- Zina isn't an option for me.

The biggest problem is that marriage in Egypt has become so expensive that many people my age or even older realistically have to wait years. High housing costs, furniture, expectations, and finances make it feel almost impossible (plus the TOXIC marriage cultures and shabka and involving every single member of the family, I actually plan to keep my marriage a secret from my family aside from very very VERY few trusted members, and I want to have a very simple and not expensive wedding ceremony)

I'm not looking for fatwas or people telling me "just lower your gaze" or "stay busy." I've genuinely tried those things for years.

I'm asking Egyptian Muslims who actually lived through this:

If you had a genuinely high libido and couldn't marry for years, what actually helped you?

Did anything make the waiting easier?

If you're now married, what got you through those years?

I'm asking sincerely because I'm mentally exhausted and trying to stay within my religion, but it's exhausting and especially here in Egypt

I'm 19, and I'm looking specifically for advice from Muslims who have actually lived through a situation similar to mine.

Before replying, please know that I've already spent years trying the common advices:

\- I've struggled with this since I was 11.

\- I have a naturally very high libido.

\- I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists.

\- I've taken medications that were supposed to reduce my libido.

\- I've been able to stay sober for long periods, so it's not that I can't control myself for a few days.

\- Marriage is realistically delayed because of finances and personal family circumstances (do not want essentially almost my entire family aside from some members to know I got married let alone attend the ceremony), not really because I want to wait.

\- I don't want zina, and I don't want pornography, I don't think anyone here wants this.

\- Masturbation also causes me guilt because of my understanding of the Islamic rulings, and it leaves me feeling mentally worse afterward.

Please don't just reply with "fast, lower your gaze, go to the gym, make dua, etc" because I've genuinely tried those things for years.

What I'm asking is:

If you were in a genuinely similar situation, with a very high libido, no realistic way to marry for years (average marriage age in my country is now in the 30s), and a sincere desire to stay within Islam, what actually helped you?

I'm especially interested in hearing from brothers who eventually got through this without abandoning their faith.

I'm not looking for permission to sin. I'm looking for practical wisdom from people who've actually lived through this, I'm actually losing my mind and I do want to get married but unfortunately all the girls I try to talk to are both not interested in me, AND they all want to marry in their 30s as they "want to enjoy their freedom" and want to participate in the toxic marriage cultures of high mahr, huge ceremonies, etc (I highly respect their choices and beliefs by the way, just makes me upset that it feels no one wants to marry for character and most importantly Allah SWT at all)

IMPORTANT: IN ISLAM MASTURBATION IS FORBIDDEN EVEN WITHOUT PORN

I'm 19, and I'm looking specifically for advice from Muslims who have actually lived through a situation similar to mine.

Before replying, please know that I've already spent years trying the common advices:

\- I've struggled with this since I was 11.

\- I have a naturally very high libido.

\- I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists.

\- I've taken medications that were supposed to reduce my libido.

\- I've been able to stay sober for long periods, so it's not that I can't control myself for a few days.

\- Marriage is realistically delayed because of finances and personal family circumstances (do not want essentially almost my entire family aside from some members to know I got married let alone attend the ceremony), not really because I want to wait.

\- I don't want zina, and I don't want pornography, I don't think anyone here wants this.

\- Masturbation also causes me guilt because of my understanding of the Islamic rulings, and it leaves me feeling mentally worse afterward.

Please don't just reply with "fast, lower your gaze, go to the gym, make dua, etc" because I've genuinely tried those things for years.

What I'm asking is:

If you were in a genuinely similar situation, with a very high libido, no realistic way to marry for years (average marriage age in my country is now in the 30s), and a sincere desire to stay within Islam, what actually helped you?

I'm especially interested in hearing from brothers who eventually got through this without abandoning their faith.

I'm not looking for permission to sin. I'm looking for practical wisdom from people who've actually lived through this, I'm actually losing my mind and I do want to get married but unfortunately all the girls I try to talk to are both not interested in me, AND they all want to marry in their 30s as they "want to enjoy their freedom" and want to participate in the toxic marriage cultures of high mahr, huge ceremonies, etc (I highly respect their choices and beliefs by the way, just makes me upset that it feels no one wants to marry for character and most importantly Allah SWT at all)

I'm 19, and I'm looking specifically for advice from Muslims who have actually lived through a situation similar to mine.

Before replying, please know that I've already spent years trying the common advices:

\- I've struggled with this since I was 11.

\- I have a naturally very high libido.

\- I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists.

\- I've taken medications that were supposed to reduce my libido.

\- I've been able to stay sober for long periods, so it's not that I can't control myself for a few days.

\- Marriage is realistically delayed because of finances and personal family circumstances (do not want essentially almost my entire family aside from some members to know I got married let alone attend the ceremony), not really because I want to wait.

\- I don't want zina, and I don't want pornography, I don't think anyone here wants this.

\- Masturbation also causes me guilt because of my understanding of the Islamic rulings, and it leaves me feeling mentally worse afterward.

Please don't just reply with "fast, lower your gaze, go to the gym, make dua, etc" because I've genuinely tried those things for years.

What I'm asking is:

If you were in a genuinely similar situation, with a very high libido, no realistic way to marry for years (average marriage age in my country is now in the 30s), and a sincere desire to stay within Islam, what actually helped you?

I'm especially interested in hearing from brothers who eventually got through this without abandoning their faith.

I'm not looking for permission to sin. I'm looking for practical wisdom from people who've actually lived through this, I'm actually losing my mind and I do want to get married but unfortunately all the girls I try to talk to are both not interested in me, AND they all want to marry in their 30s as they "want to enjoy their freedom" and want to participate in the toxic marriage cultures of high mahr, huge ceremonies, etc (I highly respect their choices and beliefs by the way, just makes me upset that it feels no one wants to marry for character and most importantly Allah SWT at all)

I'm 19, and I'm looking specifically for advice from Muslims who have actually lived through a situation similar to mine.

Before replying, please know that I've already spent years trying the common advices:

\\- I've struggled with this since I was 11.

\\- I have a naturally very high libido.

\\- I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists.

\\- I've taken medications that were supposed to reduce my libido.

\\- I've been able to stay sober for long periods, so it's not that I can't control myself for a few days.

\\- Marriage is realistically delayed because of finances and personal family circumstances (do not want essentially almost my entire family aside from some members to know I got married let alone attend the ceremony), not really because I want to wait.

\\- I don't want zina, and I don't want pornography, I don't think anyone here wants this.

\\- Masturbation also causes me guilt because of my understanding of the Islamic rulings, and it leaves me feeling mentally worse afterward.

Please don't just reply with "fast, lower your gaze, go to the gym, make dua, etc" because I've genuinely tried those things for years.

What I'm asking is:

If you were in a genuinely similar situation, with a very high libido, no realistic way to marry for years (average marriage age in my country is now in the 30s), and a sincere desire to stay within Islam, what actually helped you?

I'm especially interested in hearing from brothers who eventually got through this without abandoning their faith.

I'm not looking for permission to sin. I'm looking for practical wisdom from people who've actually lived through this, I'm actually losing my mind and I do want to get married but unfortunately all the girls I try to talk to are both not interested in me, AND they all want to marry in their 30s as they "want to enjoy their freedom" and want to participate in the toxic marriage cultures of high mahr, huge ceremonies, etc (I highly respect their choices and beliefs by the way, just makes me upset that it feels no one wants to marry for character and most importantly Allah SWT at all)

My ADHD is probably not helping with this but idk I thought I'd post here

I'm 19, and I'm looking specifically for advice from Muslims who have actually lived through a situation similar to mine.

Before replying, please know that I've already spent years trying the common advices:

- I've struggled with this since I was 11.

- I have a naturally very high libido.

- I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists.

- I've taken medications that were supposed to reduce my libido.

- I've been able to stay sober for long periods, so it's not that I can't control myself for a few days.

- Marriage is realistically delayed because of finances and personal family circumstances (do not want essentially almost my entire family aside from some members to know I got married let alone attend the ceremony), not really because I want to wait.

- I don't want zina, and I don't want pornography, I don't think anyone here wants this.

- Masturbation also causes me guilt because of my understanding of the Islamic rulings, and it leaves me feeling mentally worse afterward.

Please don't just reply with "fast, lower your gaze, go to the gym, make dua, etc" because I've genuinely tried those things for years.

What I'm asking is:

If you were in a genuinely similar situation, with a very high libido, no realistic way to marry for years (average marriage age in my country is now in the 30s), and a sincere desire to stay within Islam, what actually helped you?

I'm especially interested in hearing from brothers who eventually got through this without abandoning their faith.

I'm not looking for permission to sin. I'm looking for practical wisdom from people who've actually lived through this, I'm actually losing my mind and I do want to get married but unfortunately all the girls I try to talk to are both not interested in me, AND they all want to marry in their 30s as they "want to enjoy their freedom" and want to participate in the toxic marriage cultures of high mahr, huge ceremonies, etc (I highly respect their choices and beliefs by the way, just makes me upset that it feels no one wants to marry for character and most importantly Allah SWT at all)

Hello so I'm in college and I have about 8 months (2 terms) and I'll finish, unfortunately I don't really want to live anymore because I've been going through so much trauma, abuse, and loneliness for so long that it has started to affect me in every faucet of my life

I used to be very happy and excited about everything even despite never having friends when I was a kid, but I got diagnosed by having C-PTSD and severe Mixed Depression since I was 14-15 (grew up in a broken home and with frustrations that increased further and further as I grew up) and I'm in Egypt (my real home is Qatar even though I am Egyptian) but it's been hell for me because of the economy, government, and especially my family who I thought I could trust and love but they have wronged me so much that I genuinely feel heartbroken and betrayed by them (if I tell you what they did to me then you may be surprised as to how I'm still even in the vicinity of them, but if you wanna know I can explain in the comments or an edit to this post)

I thought that "it's okay, family issues are there but at least I have college" and alhumdulilah I'm a very successful student but my mental hurdles have made each term harder and harder than the last because I'm fighting my own demons, I have no friends and even the people I've known for a while have started to turn on me and not be associated with me anymore (I'm not the kind to be like a narcissist and say that I never do anything wrong or whatever, I'm a very flawed human being but idk why they did this to me) and sadly I tried to make friends outside of my group (even with a girl I have a crush on and her group) but they just never warm up to me or invite me or accept me (even though I ask to go out or try to initiate something nice but it just never works out) and the realization of that (especially the crush thing, and also lingering feelings from a relationship I had that wasn't Haram but it was something I held dearly that was ruined a year ago and I haven't healed from it)

every second now is a genuine pain and struggle for me, I legit put on a mask to hide my pain in front of the Drs in college and the other students but each second I'm just so bitter and sad and I just wanna cry, I've been going to therapy for years and nothing is working, no one genuinely understands my pain and I don't wanna live anymore because I'm texting this to you whilst I'm in pure agony and crying tears of grief

I'm really sorry for saying all of this but I have nowhere else to go and I've lost hope, only hope I have is that maybe Allah SWT will someday pull me out of this because I know it took the prophets who were wayy better than us in every single way a lot of years for Allah SWT to pull them out of the ibtilaa they were in, but the pain is really hurting and it's starting to affect my performances, I don't know what I can do anymore because I've been so strong for so long

My mom, dad, and sister are the only family members I love but they are in Qatar right now