u/Mkhos

Master document

All managers who were victorious in Round 1 will see their available amount of upgrade points to the far right of their gladiator in the spreadsheet.

Note about the algorithm: if you look at the numbers a bit closer, you can see that whenever the simple multiplication by 1.5 created a number that had something other than .5 in its decimal part, we rounded it up to the closest .5; so, .25 becomes .5 and .75 becomes 1. This was done to avoid infinite splintering of the points.

The Arena Personnel asks you to provide your upgrades as soon as possible. The deadline is the August 20th, 11 PM EDT. We ask for your understanding on these matters; we need time to run and process the fights.

As a reminder, please try to clearly indicate what skills are changing, what skill levels are the original and new, and the points cost of all changes.

Please remember that your upgrades should be sent to dfgtcommittee@gmail.com. The upgrades will later be revealed via a separate post.

Good luck and go with Armok!

Master Document

The richest Urist this round was Doren I, who came away with 354 gold after betting it all on WASP.

Here are your highest-stakes gladiators:

• WASP, with a massive 215☼ from a single bet by Doren I!
• Tapioca, with 171☼, also from a single bet by Eric Blank, and
• General Doom, with 90☼ from two separate bets.

Betting for Round 3 is now Open! It will close on Friday, 8/21, at 11 PM EDT.

Rules:

• Betting is open both to the managers and the spectators of the tournament.
• Every bettor starts out with 100 gold to be spent on the betting. You can't at any given moment put any more gold into a bet than you already have.
• Every bettor can only put money on one gladiator per round.
• Bets made after the official deadline for each round are not counted.
• The system works in a way that allows those who bet on the underdogs (those who have less bet on them) to receive more gold than those who bet on the favorites, so go wild with your predictions!

Master Document

Fight 2A: The goblin formally known as Morris vs. Onslaught
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/167fjkEE

   Onslaught the elk man (managed by Stimraug) stomps out of the arena gate in his shiny new steel gauntlets and silk clothes. After dispatching Blurry Bill by wearing him down with a dozen crippling strikes, the elk man appears eager to wet his scourge and whet his appetite with blood again!

   The goblin formally known as Morris (managed by u/DanVzare) strides out in contrast to Onslaught, cracking his steel whip as the sun glints off his new shining steel gauntlets. The goblin formally known as Morris has made a formidable name for himself with his victories in the battle royale and the first round against Ogtha. With two flexible weapons that can easily entwine themselves with one another, will strength of skill triumph this day?

   The two gladiators charge towards one another, the shaking footsteps of Onslaught failing to put Morris off of his own step, as the goblin dodges to the side of a whistling scourge blow. The two gladiators exchange a series of blows, as the copper scourge and steel whip swing through the air, filling it with a deadly brilliance. Onslaught bowels his way forward, and ends up landing the first blow, as he scourge glances against the goblin formally known as Morris’s left shin, tearing his pants. He pays for it, as the goblin’s whip snaps away a piece of one of Onslaught’s antlers, causing the elk man to bellow in rage!

   In his rage, Onslaught barrels forward again, knocking the goblin formally known as Morris to the ground. The goblin continues to dodge around Onslaught’s blows, but fails to land any effectual ones of his own. As Onslaught brings his scourge whistling around, he scores the first decisive blow, as his scourge snaps the goblin’s right shin like a twig. The goblin formally known as Morris falls to the ground, and although he powers through the pain, he seems unable to land equally effective blows on the massive elk man. Onslaught brings his scourge down again, smashing the goblin’s shoulder with his scourge. The snapping of another bone leaves the goblin insensate to the word, as Onslaught finishes him off with another blows that splatters blood, bone, and brains across the arena. Congratulations on another mind-blower of a fight Onslaught!

Fight 2B: General Doom vs. Petunia the Pouncer
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/3f2jUC4T

   General Doom the dodo man (managed by Detyan) waddles into the arena with a clank and clatter as his new armor catches the sun. With his stoic execution of Abshoth the ant man last round, this bulbous bird man has demonstrated that both crossbows and his species are not a joke to be laughed at.

   Petunia the pond turtle woman (managed by u/InfuriatingComma) staggers into the arena, having been found asleep by the guards after spending all her winnings getting drunk at various holes in the wall. Her fearsome scimitar disassembled the Bismuth Warrior last round, but how will her steel blade fare against sturdier armor?

   As Petunia drunkenly staggers towards General Doom, the dodo man calmly loads and fires his crossbow, as Petunia attempts to avoid the hail of iron bolts. As she approaches the dodo man, a bolt lands square in her foot, causing Petunia to fall in front of the general. Petunia swings wildly with her scimitar, forcing the dodo man to stagger backwards away from the ferocious blade. Another stab makes contact with the dodo man, but his shiny new steel gauntlet easily deflects the blow, as another bolt tears apart Petunia’s foot. 

   Despite her torn up foot, Petunia crawls aggressively towards General Doom, forcing him backwards at the point of her blade. But Petunia’s blade only buys her so much time, as the general reloads his cross bow and fires it into the pond turtle woman’s chest. Petunia grunts in pain as she continues to crawl after him, but another bolt takes her higher in the chest, causing her to collapse as she loses hold of her scimitar. General Doom calmly lines up his next shot between Petunia’s furious eyes, before he releases her from her mortal coil to Armok’s feast halls. Congratulations on your victory General Doom!

Fight 2C: Bobby vs. WASP
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/KrH2Z1r9

   Bobby the alligator man (managed by u/RegalRatKing) clanks out of his side of the arena in a suit of iron armor, though still wearing his trusty iron cap. Last round, Bobby reverted to his base instincts to twist Sir Dunguk’s head out of its socket. Against a big bug though, his maul may finally have something worth squishing.

   WASP the jumping spider woman (managed by Sir Dorfleburg) has completed one step on her journey back towards her kingdom with her disassembly of a fellow noble, Sir Capybarrian the Wise. She has exchanged her short sword for a steel long sword, and spent extensive time training with the new blade’s length. Will she be able to crack Bobby’s shell before her exoskeleton is pulverized?

   At the ring of the bell, Bobby bellows and charges forward, raising his maul for a massive overhead swing. Unimpressed, WASP dodges to the side, and strikes at his mailed chest, though her blade lacks the power to penetrate. As the blow bounces off Bobby’s chest, the blade scrapes his scaly cheek though, drawing first blood! Roaring, Bobby uses his superior bulk to knock WASP to the ground, but she once again nimbly dodges his maul, before her sharp steel blade punctures his iron gauntlet. As Bobby whirls the maul around, trying to make space, WASP strikes again at the same place, causing yet more blood to splash out.

   Finding her advantage with the point of her blade, WASP dances around Bobby, stabbing the alligator man deep in the chest from behind, and following up with a stab to his left forearm as he whirls around. The severity of the blow causes him to lose hold of his maul at last, but Bobby merely snarls and chomps his maw, to the delight of the crowd. WASP seems to be taking advantage of the bloodied and headstrong alligator man though, as her blows continue to pierce his flanks as she dodges his charges with the grace of a matador! 

   As more and more holes are poked into him, it is finally a vicious twist after a deep stab into his left elbow that causes Bobby to collapse in pain, and one final stab to the head secures WASP’s victory. Congratulations!

Fight 2D: Marchae March vs. Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the cabbage bane
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/kgJrEmai

Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the Cabbage Bane (managed by Headless) waddles out into the arena, showing off the shiny new steel gauntlets and boots he had made for himself with his winnings after defeating the massive utahraptor man, Vinny Viashino last round. He faces another prehistoric creature this round, but unlike Vinny, whose melee attacks forced him to reckon with the snail man’s formidable defenses, Marchae March is a much more agile fighter.

Fluttering out of his gate on colorful wings is Marchae March (managed by Eris235) the archaeoptryx man. After pinning down and executing the goblin known as the Phantom with a head shot last round, the singing sharpshooter has been practicing his talents at the range. As he eyes his opponent, he strums some of the extra chords attached to his weapon, calling out “Slow pretentious old snail, you’re going home quicker than you came to this thunderdome, ‘cause you’re going back in the mail!”

At the ring of the bell, Sir Gregory charges towards Marchae March (as quickly as he can), but the speed of his approach allows Marchae March to shower him with bolts. The snail man manages to block one with his buckler, but another catches him in his exposed thigh, causing him to fall over. As he falls, Marchae March swoops in, and another bolt lands square between Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the Cabbage Bane’s eyes causing him to instantly go limp. Congratulations on your victory Marchae March!

Fight 2E: Chester Cheetah vs. DeadHead the Menacing Devil
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/XvqcC7zk

   Chester Cheetah (managed by dikbutdagrate) stumbles into the arena, shoved from behind by a guard. Apparently the slayer of Geshud was too busy hawking his cheesy goods to bother with training or equipment purchases in the last round, so he will face DeadHead with the same equipment he entered the arena with.

   DeadHead the Menacing Devil (managed by Eric Blank) has taken the opposite approach though, spending ample time with our tutors to better improve his fighting and dodging skills. Last round we watched him use his morning star to crack open the dwarf Dodok’s skull. Can he do the same against this cheetah man?

   As the gladiators clash, DeadHead lands the first blow, but Chester’s speed is such that it only glances his tail, while his pick strikes true into DeadHead’s right elbow. Unfortunately for the cheetah man, DeadHead wields his morning star in his other arm, and he effectively uses it to break Chester’s right thigh, sending him to the ground. This seems to kill whatever momentum the cheetah man might have had, as DeadHead strikes again and again at the cheetah man’s belly and chest, tearing apart his leather armor with the spikes of his morning star.

   As Chester attempts to scoot away with his broken leg from the advancing foul blendec, DeadHead simply brings his weapon down on Chester’s other leg, pulverizing his left shin with a strike from the morning star. Chester Cheetah yowls in pain, and swings out with his pick, but it catches only air as the foul blendec leans out of that way and rushes back in, raining blows on his legs. The foul blendec then focuses on his weapon arm, forcing Chester to drop his pick after his left forearm is shattered. Chester tries to dodge and roll out of the way, but another blow of the morning star leaves his ribs shattered, and some protruding from his spotted hide. Gasping and wheezing in pain and exhaustion, Chester collapses to the ground, and DeadHead mercilessly advances as he shatters his skull. Congratulations to DeadHead on your victory!

Fight 2F: Mâtzang Sethal Udos vs. Junior
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/EksBVjuK

Junior (managed by SlitherPapi) strides with his shiny new steel crossbow. The juvenile pond turtle man has already scrawled graffiti and skull and crossbones symbols onto it. Are they arcane glyphs intended to increase the potency of his shots? Or is he just being edgy? Whatever the case, he has shown himself to be lethal with his execution of Grekk.

Facing him is Mâtzang Sethal Udos (managed by u/Astelon_), who despite his nervousness at admission in his rush to enter, has shown himself to be a lethal opponent in the arena with his slaying of Dr. Bitenfurter. Having taken down one scaled menace, can he do it again?

   The new steel that clings to Mâtzang Sethal Udos’s head, chest and hands protects him from the first few bolts that patter against him like rain on a window. Junior’s bolts only manage to take out one of Mâtzang Sethal Udos’s arms on his way in, and once the jumping spider man closes the distance, it’s all the pond turtle man can do to duck, dodge, and dive out of the way! Mâtzang Sethal Udos manages to catch Junior with one of his blows, severing his hand neatly at the wrist. Unfortunately for the jumping spider man, Junior has somehow managed to hold onto both his crossbow and his bolt, and one of his bolts takes the spider man in the right shin, taking him down.

   Another bolt catches Mâtzang Sethal Udos clean in the head, causing his helm to smack against his head. Junior seems to realize the need to shift his aim from the armored portions of the jumping spider man to the unarmored ones. Mâtzang Sethal Udos is forced to crawl towards junior under a hail of bolts, most striking his armor and shield, but others hit his exposed legs, causing trails of ichor to smear the ground behind him. Junior becomes visibly panicked as his supply of bolts becomes more and more depleted, and on his second to last one, he shakily takes aim, and fires! The bolt sails clean through the eye hole of Mâtzang Sethal Udos’s helm puncturing his brain and slaying him. Congratulations on your clean shot Junior!

Fight 2G: Guy Ape vs. Al Boar
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/YWe0RLrX

   Al Boar (managed by u/ArryCat56) stomps into the arena, his chain leggings and shirt jingling with every step. The boar man has put his trust in iron to protect him this time, after the fiendish dark gnome Whiskey Blood nearly stabbed him to death in the last round. However, this time his foe will not be a puny drunk, but a predatory leopard man.

Guy Ape (managed by u/TotallyClueless69) casually strolls out of the arena, snacking on some roasted plump helmets. The leopard man seems unfazed by his opponent, and his own lack of training in preparation for this fight. Casually unsheathing his copper longsword, the leopard man cries out “Witness me!”, as the bell rings.

Guy Ape lunges forward aggressively, but Al Boar uses it to his advantage, looping his axe over the copper blade and slashing at Guy Ape’s neck. The leopard man pulls back in the nick of time as the axe only gives him a shallow scratch instead of a decapitating hack, though the crowd cheers all the same as first blood is shed. Al Boar deals another glancing blow to Guy Ape’s hand after another miss, and at this point the leopard man seems to shake off whatever lethargy he may previously have had, striking in earnest at Al Boar as copper and iron clash with one another.

While the crowd seems impressed with the fancy axe and sword work, Guy Ape apparently is not, as he rushes forward after knocking Al Boar’s axe aside, knocking the boar man over. As Al Boar struggles to his feet, Guy Ape strikes at him, shearing off a hoof and leaving him crawling on the floor. Grinning with bloodlust Guy Ape seems content to taunt porcine prey, as a thumb and tusk go flying. Squealing in outrage, Al Boar teaches him the consequence of over confidence though, swinging his axe through the air to remove one of Guy Ape’s forearms. The leopard man shrieks, pursuing Al Boar around the arena with blood spurting out of his stump as the boar man rolls away from blows.

Just as he thinks he has him pinned with a stab to the right forearm though, Al Boar takes off Guy Ape’s tail as well, further driving the leopard man into a frenzy of rage. Lashing out wildly, Guy Ape’s slash tears apart Al Boar’s weapon hand, forcing him to drop his axe. Free to have his vengeance at last, Guy Ape opens Al Boar’s throat, though the boar man’s fortitude sees him remain in the fight. Frustrated by his opponents indomitability, Guy Ape continues to take apart the struggling and bleeding pig man stabbing out an eye, and removing his remaining tusk and hoof, leaving him a hobbling dishonored mess. Finally, practically steaming with rage, Guy Ape stabs the boarman in his gut, and with a twist of his blade, Al Boar finally collapses. Congratulations on your brutal victory Guy Ape!

Fight 2H: Tapioca vs. Ivan
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/BAscUPd3

   Tapioca the tapir man (managed by kosmossen) waddles in the arena, waving his new steel blowdart to his fellows from the jungle. They kindly purchased it for him after his victory over the Silent Slicer, and he has spent practically all his time not sleeping training with it. Hopefully his darts will find their place in the flesh of his foe.

   Ivan the coati man (managed by BecauseISaid) walks into the arena in a similarly unbothered way. Despite the belief that he would upgrade his silver battle axe to something with a keener edge, Ivan appears to have instead doubled down on his love of silver, and now sports a silver helm to protect himself from the darts of his foe. He did put down an aging bear man with that axe though, so perhaps the edge isn’t too dull to still do its job.

   Ivan dodges the first few blow darts, but the next several catch him in the gut and left forearm. Ivan soldiers on, but another dart hits him in the right foot, causing him to fall to the ground in pain. Dragging and pushing himself forward with his good leg now, the coati man finally gets in striking range of Tapioca. One of Ivan’s blows is blocked, but the next scratches the tapir man’s leg, and the one after that breaks Tapioca’s thigh, sending the tapir man to the ground under his own weight. Despite being entangled on the ground Tapioca continues to load and fire darts at a furious pace, striking Ivan’s chest, arms, and head. Ivan’s silver helm, while certainly shiny and expensive, is beginning to look the worse for wear under the onslaught, and eventually, Ivan passes out from what must be several concussions and many dart punctures.

Eventually, the soft silver helm shatters after one too many dart strikes, but the individual darts themselves seem unable to actually deal a killing blow to Ivan. Tapioca appears unwilling to get too close to the unconscious coati man with his shattered leg either, and as his supply of darts runs low, Ivan shakes himself back into the fight! Roaring in anger, Ivan charges Tapioca, who seems unwilling to do anything but defend himself from the bloodied phantom with a silver axe who’s attacking him. As Ivan chases Tapioca around the arena, he hefts the axe around, and in a vicious swing, chops the tapir man in half at his considerable waist. Congratulations on your victory Ivan!

All fights written by Mkhos and run by Nekkowe

Master document

All managers who were victorious in Round 1 will see their available amount of upgrade points to the far right of their gladiator in the spreadsheet.

Note about the algorithm: if you look at the numbers a bit closer, you can see that whenever the simple multiplication by 1.5 created a number that had something other than .5 in its decimal part, we rounded it up to the closest .5; so, .25 becomes .5 and .75 becomes 1. This was done to avoid infinite splintering of the points.

The Arena Personnel asks you to provide your upgrades as soon as possible. The deadline is the August 13th, 11 PM AM EDT. We ask for your understanding on these matters; we need time to run and process the fights.

Please remember that your upgrades should be sent to dfgtcommittee@gmail.com. The upgrades will later be revealed via a separate post.

Good luck and go with Armok!

Master document

The richest Urist this round was Doren I, who came away with 215 gold after betting it all on Petunia the Pouncer. The three most bet on gladiators were Petunia the Pouncer, DeadHead, and Sir Dungûk.

Betting for Round 2 is now Open! It will close on Friday, 8/14, at 11 PM EDT.

Rules:

• Betting is open both to the managers and the spectators of the tournament.
• Every bettor starts out with 100 gold to be spent on the betting. You can't at any given moment put any more gold into a bet than you already have.
• Every bettor can only put money on one gladiator per round.
• Bets made after the official deadline for each round are not counted.
• The system works in a way that allows those who bet on the underdogs (those who have less bet on them) to receive more gold than those who bet on the favorites, so go wild with your predictions!

Master document

Fight 1A: Ogtha vs the goblin formally known as Morris
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/WheDVyph

Beginning the first round, we have Ogtha the roach woman (managed by u/Natural-Possession10). She skitters into the arena just as the gate lifts up enough to admit her in, brandishing her shining steel spear. We’re not sure where she got it, or even where she came from, but it's probably not a reason we want to know about. Does she want fame? Glory? Or maybe she just has several hundred offspring to provide for…

Facing off against her is the winner of the battle royale, the goblin formally known as Morris (managed by u/DanVzare). The scarred goblin has already wet his platinum whip with the brains of gladiators both large and small. As he unfurls it, many dwarven veterans in the audience cringe from remembered trauma of the ferocity of past goblin whips. But will this scarred goblin overcome his own trauma of chitinous multi-limbed opponents?

Beginning

  The goblin formally known as Morris strikes first, but his whip only wraps itself around Ogtha’s spear! Ogtha reels the scarred goblin in, stabbing him in the thigh. The roach woman withdraws her spear in a gush of blood, stabbing the goblin formally known as Morris in the hand. Thankfully for the goblin, his powerful whip remains in his other hand, and he uses it to shear off one of Ogtha’s arms. As Ogtha reels back, a second lash tears through her right eye and into her head, dropping her to the ground in a pool of her own ichor. Congratulations to the goblin formally known as Morris! You’ve beaten an opponent with 4 arms, perhaps in time you’ll work your way back up to one with 8.

Fight 1B: Blurry Bill vs Onslaught 
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/L2n8Z7HT

This fight features two of our largest gladiators. The largest of them is none other than Blurry Bill (managed by u/Zabermer), a sasquatch who was captured from the woods. Will pure brute strength be enough to overcome a smaller and more ferociously armed opponent?

His opponent is Onslaught the elk man (managed by Stimraug), a fierce creature also from the woods who may be smaller, but has an ego sizeable enough to compensate. The ferocious elk man boasts of being a mighty warrior, having smashed a feral badger in his woods to pulp with his scourge, and supposedly a dwarven champion who was sent to kill the beast as well. Let’s see how he does against an opponent his own size!

The two enormous gladiators shake the entire arena as they thunder towards each other. Onslaught narrowly tucks under a nasty right hook, but Blurry Bill manages to snatch the elk man’s tail. Whipping around, Onslaught smashes his scourge into the sasquatch’s right arm, fracturing the mammoth creature’s arm with ease. Blurry Bill roars in pain as Onslaught rolls away. The sasquatch and the elk man engage in a deadly game of cat and mouse, as the sasquatch uses his superior mass to force Onslaught into a retreat. But with one swift blow, Onslaught reverses his fortunes, scourging Blurry Bill painfully on the inside of his left knee, causing the sasquatch to collapse. 

As the sasquatch moans in pain, Onslaught smashes Blurry Bill again and again in the head until it explodes like an overripe melon. The madly laughing elk man swings his bloodied scourge around, spraying the arena with yet more blood as he celebrates his victory. Congratulations Onslaught!

Fight 1C: General Doom vs Abshoth
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/U3md8G3C

Abshoth the ant drone man (managed by Lucias Ral) soars into the arena on his wings, cracking his scourges in anticipation. This poor creature has no memory of where he comes from, and has spent his days wandering and attacking any aggressive creature he came across. Let’s see how the uncivilized wilds compare to our nice and proper blood sports!

Waddling out to face the ant man is a decidedly unaggressive looking creature. Alongside the many dinosaurs that our adventurers found, they also found a race of strange flightless bird med with outrageously large beaks. General Doom (managed by Detyan) represents his people today, wielding a weapon maligned as much in this tournament as his race has been since its discovery: a crossbow. Can he prove the nay sayer’s wrong?

As Abshoth soars through the air towards General Doom, iron bolts fly at break-neck speeds towards him as the dodo man keeps his distance. Two bolts are knocked aside by copper scourges and a third is dodged, but the fourth lands true and sends Abshoth careening to the ground as his right shin collapses into a mess of chitin. Abshoth’s hard landing places him right in front of General Doom, and a copper scourge from the ant man rings General Doom’s iron cap. The ringing cap seems to stun the dodo man, as Abshoth follows up with strikes to his left wing and belly. The leather armor of General Doom cushions the blows though, preventing them from doing major damage that would otherwise spell his end. 

Weathering the storm of blows, General Doom carefully lines up a shot, and pulls the trigger. Abshoth drops to the ground like a pupper with his strings cut as an iron bolt blows straight through his brains. Congratulations on your victory General Doom, both for your weapon and your people!

Abshoth

Fight 1D: Petunia the Pouncer vs The Bismuth Warrior
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/hGh5fDr4

Petunia the Pouncer (managed by u/InfuriatingComma) staggers into the arena as quickly as a pond turtle woman can. Clad in nothing but basic linen, she intends to let no one call her slow again after losing a race to a hare man. Too bad there isn’t one fighting for her to have a go at with her scimitar…

Instead, she faces the Bismuth Warrior (managed by u/Caterpiller101), a dwarf worshipper of the god of bismuth expelled from her fortress after desecrating his temple in hope of being cursed, and finally seen by others in the fortress. But despite her sacrilegious act, it seems even her god has overlooked her, and so she now fights in his name to earn the attention she feels she is due.

The Bismuth Warrior merely clashes her bucklers together as Petunia the Pouncer approaches, the wood clanging against the bismuth. Several blows of the steel scimitar bounce off of the dwarf woman’s bucklers, as Petunia acts with an unusual aggression for her species. Lashing out after another block, Petunia smashes the flat of her blade against the Bismuth Warrior’s right arm, leaving the limb numb as it drops her wooden buckler. The Bismuth Warrior emerges from her own shell though, striking her bronze buckler at Petunia’s shell, leaving a nasty crack in it!

Hissing in fury more than pain, Petunia advances on the dwarven woman, a glancing blow from her scimitar bouncing off of the Bismuth Warrior’s chain leggings. The Bismuth Warrior attempts to drive Petunia back, but she overextends, and oh! Petunia makes her pay for it, as a missed buckler base allows the pond turtle woman to lop off the arm holding it at the elbow! The Bismuth Warrior refuses to go down though, as she lowers her head and charges into Petunia knocking her down, even as blood pours out of her. The Bismuth Warrior pulls Petunia towards her before throwing her to the ground again, but Petunia merely uses the contact to stab the Bismuth Warrior in her exposed chest. The dwarven woman continues to stagger towards Petunia, but one last blow catches her right in the neck, not severing the head completely, but tearing out enough to take her out. With one last blow, Petunia finishes the job as the Bismuth Warrior’s head rolls free of her body. Congratulations to Petunia the Pouncer on your victory!

Petunia

Fight 1E: Bobby vs Sir Dungûk the Tall
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/PNsVwLKR

For our next fight we have Bobby the alligator man (managed by u/RegalRatKing). The hefty alligator man hoists his copper maul over his head as he enters to the roar of the crowd. To Bobby though, all he sees is a crowd of nails tattling in the benches…

Facing him is an opponent even burlier than he is, Sir Dungûk the Tall, a mighty talking troll accompanied by his goblin squire (managed by Doren I). This troll displays an unusual degree of intelligence, as he is able to talk, and wields a copper blade, fancying himself as a sort of knight. But with these two huge gladiators, it will be brutality and not elegance that settles this match!

Bobby is the first to strike, as Sir Dungûk displays a surprising degree of grace as he dodges to the side of one blow, but the next catches one of his horns twisting his head around. Sir Dungûk spins with the momentum of the blow, and plants his short sword firmly into Bobby’s tail, causing the alligator man to hiss in pain as he spins around. Sir Dungûk hastily gets his sword up in time to block Bobby’s blow, and his riposte catches Bobby in his right foot.

The dull copper blade acts more as a blunt instrument in Sir Dungûk’s hand as the blade breaks bone instead of skin, but the effect is the same as Bobby topples to the ground. The troll knight pursues his foe, stabbing and slashing. As he becomes more and more battered, Bobby appears to lose control, and lunges mouth first at Sir Dungûk’s head, catching it in his jaws. 

In his feral state, the alligator man reverts to his base instincts, as he throws his body around in a death roll. With a sickening snap, Sir Dungûk goes still as his blade drops from his hands. Bobby releases the troll, but Sir Dungûk still appears to be alive! Bobby begins to rain blow after blow on Sir Dungûk, as the troll bravely struggles, but one final blow finally crushes his mighty skull. Congratulations on your hard fought victory Bobby!

Fight 1F: Sir Capybarian the Wise vs WASP
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/nh0NJs2R

Sir Capybarian (managed by Lord Capybara) strides into the arena. A relative of the original capybara man of this name, he seeks to regain the honor lost by his family when his kinsman fell in battle. Bearing the traditional arms of his house, a shield and spear, will he succeed?

He faces another of blood (or we should say ichor) that claims to be even more noble than his own. WASP (managed by Sir Dorfleburg) claims to be the last royal jumping spider man of a great nest called Divinelair. Only victory will let her return home.

WASP quickly bounds forward as the bell rings, turning it into a pouncing blow with her short sword. Sir Capybarian blocks the blow as it skitters off of his shield. The two gladiators begin to dance around one another’s blades, each showing an impressive amount of agility. But it is the capybara man who makes the first mistake, as WASP’s blade bites into his left thigh. Sir Capybara falls to the ground that quickly becomes soaked with his own blood.

WASP pursues the fallen capbara man, stabbing him in his left shin, right arm, and chest in quick succession. The blow to the arm costs the capybara man his spear, and several more blows send his right hand and left arm after it in quick succession. With a wordless and exhausted yell, WASP hacks off the bloodied and maimed Sir Capybara’s right leg. Looking down in apparent shock, the capybara man says “I have improved my fighting.  That was satisfying” before he collapses into the pool of his own blood.

Congratulations on your victory WASP! I’m sure many fans will be happy about one less noble in the world.

Fight 1G: Marchae March vs The Phantom
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/7PJ7ju0n

Marchae March (managed by Eris235) soars into the arena to the oohs and ahhs of the crowd. The archaeoptryx man displays a brilliant plumage as he hefts his steel crossbow into the sun. Plucking at the strings attached to his crossbow, he belts out “Stupid knife-wielding goblin, my bolts are all you’ll have tonight for nobblin’”

The subject of his insults, a captured goblin called the Phantom by his captor manager, Phantom Manager, staggers into the arena, perhaps from a push. The angry goblin rushes back to the gates as they slam shut, hammering on them with his knife, but the ring of the bell quickly refocuses his attention on his opponent.

As he spins around, a pair of bolts hit his feet, pinning him to the ground as he topples over. Marchae March approaches the goblin for a clearer shot, but the phantom tears himself forward with the bolts embedded in his feet, landing a wicked slash on one of his foe’s wings. His aim thrown off, Marchae March’s bolt goes into the side of the Phantom’s belly, stumbling away from the goblin. Shooting again, the bolt glances off the side of the Phantom’s iron helm. The phantom pauses his pursuit as his ringing helm and punctured belly causes him to vomit into his helm, but his discomfort is quickly alleviated as a square shot from Marchae March punches through his helm and into his brain. Congratulations on your victory Marchae March!

Fight 1H: Vinny Viashino vs Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the Cabbage Bane  
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/ssbpGqNK

Vinny Viashino the utahraptor man (managed by u/ergotofwhy) moves with a silence that belies his speeds as he enters into the arena. The crowd shrieks in delight (and maybe a little fear) as he curls back his lips to reveal his sharp teeth and flexes his killing sickle claws. This new arrival has eagerly adopted a strange subculture of urban humans who dress in leather and smear greasy products in their hair, which Vinny has attempted to recreate by slicking back his head plumage. Only his opponent can judge whether this makes him more or less terrifying…

Slowly exiting the gate opposite Vinny is Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the Cabbage Bane, a snail man managed by Headless. The Cabbage Bane wields a wicked looking black bronze short sword, and seems quite eager to use it. Based on the groundhog leather he attires himself in, he appears to have at least some experience with it, no doubt in defense of his garden realm. His two other knightly brethren have already fallen in this round though. Will Sir Gregory Von Glenshire join them?

The two gladiators clash in the middle, where they weave and dodge around one another for quite some time, as fierce bites and sword strikes find only empty air. But Vinny is the one who scores first blood, with a swift bite tearing off one of Sir Gregory Von Glenshire’s feet! The Cabbage Bane is quick to avenge his injury though, as his short sword cuts deep into Vinny’s left bicep, causing the utahraptor man to yell in pain as blood spurts from his arm.

Vinny rains blows on Sir Gregory Von Glenshire, but the snail man puts up the formidable defense that his people are known for, as blade and shield block and push aside blow after blow. After one overenthusiastic strike by Vinny, the Cabbage Bane’s smashes the hand with his pommel, snapping bones to the cheers of the crowd as Vinny yelps in pain. His arms mangled, Vinny goes after the snail man with his teeth and claws.

Despite Vinny being the one to force the offensive as Sir Gregory Von Glenshire continues to block his blows, it is he who becomes more and more injured as he crashes against the battlements of the Cabbage Banes’s defenses. Finally, one blow to the foot causes the massive utahraptor man to collapse to the ground, and a quick stab to the chest sees him curl up in pain from the accumulated weight of his many injuries. After a sequence of stabs that more resembles a miner hacking at a stubborn vein of ore than any sword play, the bell finally rings to signal Vinny Viashino’s death, as grease, blood, and brains mingle on the stones around his head. Congratulations on being the last knight standing Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the Cabbage Bane!

Vinny

Fight 1I: Geshud vs Chester Cheetah
Fight Log: https://pastebin.com/d3rddhfu

First out onto the sands is Chester Cheetah - a leather-clad cheetah man bearing a steel pick in one hand. Strangely, his pelt and leather armour carries a curious, dusty yellowish cast to it, sending thin clouds of the same drifting through the air as he warms up with a couple swings of his pick. Based on the amount of mumbling about cheese and violence, he might not be all there, but we’re hardly going to be picky about that!

Opposite him stands Geshud - a dwarf and relative to the gorlac Uvash from last year’s tournament, bent on winning what his… whatever the appropriate term would be could not! More to the point, it poses an opportunity to humiliate his life-long rival Dodok in the field of battle, and prove the latter’s incompetence with a blade. The copper-and-leather-clad dwarf pointedly raises his iron maul to point at the rival gladiator watching from the seating, before swinging it down in sync with the bell’s ring.

Geshud aims to land the first blow: a plain, straightforward swing of the maul aimed toward Chester’s right arm, seeking to break through the cheetah man’s defence through force and deprive him of his greatest advantage. Chester reacts in turn - turning his pick so that one end of the head snags the maul’s long handle against its curving inside, then yanking downward to harmlessly redirect the hammer’s head into the arena sands, producing nothing but a puff of stirred yellow-orange sand and a dull thunk of impact.

The sight seems to stir something in Chester. Moments later he reverses the pick’s direction, swinging its sharpened tip at Geshud’s left side. A deft movement by Geshud minimises the strike’s impact, however - tearing the skin, but drawing only a thin line of blood from the dwarf’s arm before a vicious thrust slams his iron maul’s head into Chester’s stomach. There’s a muffled grunt from the cheetah man as the blow nearly buckles him over, knocking the wind from his lungs and bruising a kidney; but a moment later he’s recovered, and takes advantage of the closeness to swing the steel pick at Geshud’s left thigh.

It connects, tearing through the muscle and drawing cheers from the crowd as the pick’s edge opens an artery. Geshud lets out a pained grunt of breath as his leg gives out, though it doesn’t stop him from powering through the flare of pain in his wounded leg to raise his maul again. A swing to the chest catches the charging cheetah man mid-movement and adds fresh bruises to those already rising.

Nonetheless, the strikes seem to infuriate the leather-clad cheetah man impressively. Closing against Geshud, he swings his pickaxe up and down in a fury; hammering the sharpened tip through the copper armour cladding Geshud’s left forearm and leg. A retaliatory strike from Geshud on the ground raises a further bruise on Chester’s arm, the awkward angle of the blow preventing it landing with as much force as it should. Chester, contrastingly, has no such compunctions - as aptly demonstrated by the way he strikes Geshud’s abdomen as one might a rock, piercing through muscle and briefly pinning it to the arena floor; leaning down to snarl at him as he does.

With Chester’s pick lodged firmly in his flesh and temporarily immobilising him, Geshud opts for the only other option he has: an upward thrust of the maul’s head. The cheetahman manages to jerk his head back to evade the worst of the blow, though it doesn’t save him entirely - one of his pronounced eye teeth goes flying amid a cloud of spittle and blood as the iron head catches him in the jaw. Chester staggers back at the blow, pulling his pick free. His cry of pain at the injury swiftly transitions to one of rage as he closes with Geshud again.

With Geshud on the ground and bleeding heavily from the inflicted wounds, the scent of blood seems to energise Chester Cheetah. Quick as his namesake, he raises his steel pickaxe and buries it deep in Geshud’s right thigh - tearing muscle, opening an artery, then dragging him backward to prevent him running. The dwarf’s retaliatory strikes are turned aside with deft parries, Chester knocking the maul into the arena sand or simply forcing it out of the way where he simply doesn’t jump aside.

Disarmed, bleeding from a dozen wounds, and his vision hazed with pain, Geshud drags himself away from the murderous cheetah man. With his foe rendered near-helpless Chester Cheetahman is free to indulge his desire for ultraviolence, and he does so gleefully. Hammering the steel pick’s point down through Geshud’s chest to snag a rib, Chester drags the wounded dwarf back into close range one final time. Ripping the pickaxe free and pinning Geshud to the ground with one clawed foot, Chester swings the pickaxe’s point underarm into Geshud’s head - through the lower jaw and up into the brain, cracking the skull as it goes.

Congratulations, Chester Cheetah! Your capacity for violence has seen you through the first round, and - good Armok! Stop, stop, he’s already dead! Someone get the animal handlers!

Welcome to all the ladies, gentlemen, and gentlebeings that have decided to watch or participate in the 11th annual Dwarf Fortress Gladiator Tournament! We have had a lovely turnout of gladiators this year, but as we only have 32 spots, we must first thin the herd in order to make our bracket. As the first to stain the floor of our arena with their blood and begin to fill Armok’s goblet, 5 gladiators have been randomly selected to fight one another for the last spot.

Everyone, please welcome Buketiggal the jumping spider man (managed by pisskop), a dagger wielding hunter seeking to go down in legend! Next to him and holding a shining silver sword is Liquid the Ocelot man (managed by u/Cloud075), who has come to town in pursuit of his quarry, a snake man named “Big Boss”. Holding a steel battle axe and clothed in rattling chain mail is Mordrek the wolf man (managed by u/MammothCrab1132) who has come to seek death in the arena to atone for his failure to protect his lord. Towering over the competition is Punchosaur the Utahraptor man (managed by Wolfkey), one of the newest races to join after brave adventurers discovered a lost world of creatures formerly known only from their bones. And finally we have the goblin formally known as Morris (managed by u/DanVzare), a scarred mess of an already ugly race who has a strange distaste for crustaceans.

Without further ado, let the first bell ring for our first battle!

Fight log: https://pastebin.com/0TGaNNw8

The arena descends into anarchy! Buketiggal stabs Punchosaur deep in one of his meaty arms, leaving the utahraptor man roaring in pain, while Mordrek hacks at a goblin formally known as Morris’s left arm, leaving a long tear along his shoulder that spatters red blood on the thirsty stones. Liquid the Ocelot dashes into the fray, slashing at the inside of Punchosaur’s leg with his silver longsword, but leaves only a scratch on his tough hide.

146: An incoherent Mordrek is lashed to death by the goblin formally known as Morris, his platinum whip granting the wolf man the death he desired.

203: Buketiggal bleeds to death after too many of his limbs are turned into fountains of ichor by the goblin formally known as Morris.

250: Liquid the Ocelot is struck down by the whip of the goblin formally known as Morris, after collapsing to the ground in pain from a shattered shin.

270: Punchosaur is the last gladiator to fall as his mighty body is finally broken by the goblin formally known as Morris’s whip, after sustaining punishment from Buketiggal and Liquid the Ocelot the entire match.

Congratulations to the goblin formally known as Morris on his advancement to the bracket!

Picture by Eris235

Pixel art by the talented Eris235

Welcome, one and all! For our 11th one, we have a very special tournament set up for you all! Not only have we hired some experts with ranged weapons who actually seem to know what they're doing, the discovery of a lost world of creatures thought to have only existed before the birth of memory by our tireless miners and adventurers has brought a whole host of new creatures to the arena!

As always, the rules for making a gladiator can be found on the DFGT XI sheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1yQi9z1F1PwobbNUxKAhBwX5dvfPGkoYfvwJPA496Cis/edit?usp=sharing. We believe that all of the new animal men who meet the size limits have been added, but if they have not, please ask. Once a gladiator is posted here, either myself, Thazzeus, QuantumDrop, or Nekkowe! will approve them, or indicate what changes need to be made for them to be legal.

Pleaseeep your registration post nice and orderly by showing your math, and if you like writing, we are also looking for a few more tournament organizers this year to help out with things.

Roleplay is encouraged, so post your registration here, and a manager will be along to check it in time! If you would like to get in on the community, we have a discord server here: https://discord.gg/ZGzu4bbJW

Registration will close on July 29th at 11 PM EDT.

Have fun, and strike your opponents well!

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