I've been in this recovery space for a while now, read all the papers, read all the stories and almost every time someone shares their story with me its "I was 9." "I was 11." "A cousin showed me." "It popped up on a game site." Its such a shame and I also think a very important thing to notice that nobody chose this as an adult, almost everyone stumbles into it as a kid/teen, way before they understand the implications that come with it.

The research backs it up too. Around 61% of Muslim young adults are first exposed between ages 11-14, and thats just the ones who admit it. Then theres the second half of the pattern which is 59% of muslim youth have viewed it but only 4% ever seek help. That gap is honestly crazy to me wallah and very sad. Nearly everyone falls in as a child, then carries it alone for years because the shame of "im a muslim, how could I" locks every mouth shut and what pains me the most is thats not what Allah swt wants from us nor is it what he teaches.

So two things I want to mention here:

If youre in this fight I really want you to understand your origin story and why you "use". Often times it wasn't even you that picked this it was handed to you when you didn't know what it was. Keep fighting the good fight and fight it hard, but drop the self hatred. Allah swt teaches and tells us: Tawbah, not shame.

And if you ever become a parent, an uncle or a big sibling, be the safe adult you didnt have. One "if you ever see something weird online, tell me, youre not in trouble" conversation at such a young age can save someone a 15 year war. Be the good you wish you had.

For anyone fighting this right now, my DMs are open if you need to talk.

I'd love to hear if you guys have any differing opinions than me

I've been in this recovery space for a while now, read all the papers, read all the stories and almost every time someone shares their story with me its "I was 9." "I was 11." "A cousin showed me." "It popped up on a game site." Its such a shame and I also think a very important thing to notice that nobody chose this as an adult, almost everyone stumbles into it as a kid/teen, way before they understand the implications that come with it.

The research backs it up too. Around 61% of Muslim young adults are first exposed between ages 11-14, and thats just the ones who admit it. Then theres the second half of the pattern which is 59% of muslim youth have viewed it but only 4% ever seek help. That gap is honestly crazy to me wallah and very sad. Nearly everyone falls in as a child, then carries it alone for years because the shame of "im a muslim, how could I" locks every mouth shut and what pains me the most is thats not what Allah swt wants from us nor is it what he teaches.

So two things I want to mention here:

If youre in this fight I really want you to understand your origin story and why you "use". Often times it wasn't even you that picked this it was handed to you when you didn't know what it was. Keep fighting the good fight and fight it hard, but drop the self hatred. Allah swt teaches and tells us: Tawbah, not shame.

And if you ever become a parent, an uncle or a big sibling, be the safe adult you didnt have. One "if you ever see something weird online, tell me, youre not in trouble" conversation at such a young age can save someone a 15 year war. Be the good you wish you had.

For anyone fighting this right now, my DMs are open if you need to talk.

I'd love to hear if you guys have any differing opinions than me

Salam devs 👋 Hope you guys are all doing good,

I just recently launched Hayaa, an app helping muslims quit pornography addiction and other compulsive habits, live on iOS and Android. This was primarily a solo build, but I had a small team also supporting me and it was about a year total of work. I made this post because I'd like to share the decisions that might be useful to anyone building something for the ummah:)

Stack I used: React Native + Expo Go (TypeScript), Supabase (Postgres + RLS), RevenueCat for subscriptions, Aladhan API for prayer times, Sentry for crash reporting, and EAS for the build pipeline

Decisions I refused to compromise with no matter what: There is NO AI-generated Islamic content ever. Every verse, hadith, and dua is served from a verified database with Arabic, English, source citation, and translator credit. If any content lookup fails the app hard errors instead of letting anything generate a verse. In the category I'm in a single fabricated hadith destroys all trust permanently so you never go against this rule.

Privacy shaped the schema: row level security (RLS) on everything, accountability partners can only see streak count and last check-in, never relapse history or journals. When your users are hiding something this sensitive and taboo, data minimization isnt a quality of life feature its literally the entire product.

Schools of thought at the data layer: All content is tagged universal/sunni/shia and filtered by RLS based on the users profile. There's no need for separate UIs its just one codebase serving all traditions respectfully. I don't believe just because you're in a different school of thought you deserve different treatment. We're all brothers and sisters fighting the same fight.

Monetization ethics: The core app is entirely free and I don't think I will ever change that. Money is secondary, helping Muslims is the primary. There is an optional premium subscription that I have setup via RevenueCat. I believe it is free until your first 3k or 100k I forgot LMAO.

Ask me anything about the stack, App Store review for sensitive categories (fun stories there), or building solo for a taboo niche

📱 iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/hayaa-islamic-sobriety/id6783464307
🤖 Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.hayaa.app

https://preview.redd.it/znfd60s9ydjh1.png?width=7920&format=png&auto=webp&s=4d81869a7444f952eeffd44a435574ca8c91b6bc

Salam everyone 👋

This month I launched Hayaa, an Islamic sobriety app helping muslims quit pornography addiction. Writing this up because building a venture around a taboo problem comes with lessons I havent seen shared here

Why this market: the faith-based recovery space is proven, Covenant Eyes built a multimillion dollar business serving Christians for this exact problem. There are around 1.8 billion Muslims who are all equally faith motivated, and no credible Muslim equivalent exists. I think this isnt entering a crowded market, its a category gap hiding in plain sight because nobody wants to say the problem out loud

The taboo tax is real though. I found that Meta rejects ad creatives for this category so so often. People wont like, comment, or share anything about it publicly because its taboo. Paid acquisition is basically closed, so everything runs organically: your reddit presence, communities, ASO, and partnerships with dawah orgs and creators. If your venture touches something shameful make sure you guys include that price in your growth

Decisions im proud of Alhamdulillah: The app is free to download and use, the premium is optional. The SOS crisis button is never paywalled, I refuse to try and monetize someone mid-crisis. Whether this venture ends up becoming profitable or not, my main goal is to help my fellow brothers and sisters. That being said the app serves, men AND women equally when every competitor is men-only. And zero fabricated Islamic content, every verse, hadith, and dua in the app is verified with full citation, translator credited. In this category trust IS the product

The stack for the technical folks: React Native/Expo go, Supabase, RevenueCat, and the AI companion is built on very strict Claude prompting and parameters. I'm a solo founder with a small team and am self funded

You can also check out the website at: https://hayaa.io/

I'm happy to answer anything about building in a taboo niche, the solo grind, or the halal monetization tradeoffs. Let me know!

https://preview.redd.it/rlix1hmsvdjh1.png?width=7920&format=png&auto=webp&s=586e7fc3f699ccb8824716dd0331f5ab7ff3fc49

📱 iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/hayaa-islamic-sobriety/id6783464307
🤖 Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.hayaa.app

Salam everyone,

Most of you know me as a mod here but I want to talk as just another guy in this fight for a minute

Like a lot of us, I was introduced to this stuff way wayyy too young, before I even understood what it was or what it would take from me. What followed was years of the same loop most of us know by heart. The fall, the shame, swearing it off, winning for a few days and then just falling again. And for me at least I found that the worst part was the loneliness that came with this addiction. I prayed, I looked like a practicing guy from the outside, and I was convinced I was the only hypocrite in the room. Then I got older and realized some of my closest friends were in the exact same loop, thinking THEY were the only ones. A lot of the Muslim community also struggling in parallel and everyones silent because shame and guilt keeps us that way

That silence is what I chose to build against.

For the past year+ ive been working on Hayaa, an app for Muslims fighting this exact fight and as of this month its officially live. The app is free to download and free to use.

What's inside:

• Streak tracking and daily check ins
• SOS button for the moment the urge is winning (never paywalled, I refuse to charge someone in crisis)
• Verified Quran, hadith and dua with full citations, nothing AI-generated or made up
• Prayer reminders based on your location
• Community feed to fight alongside others instead of alone
• An AI companion for the hard nights
• Spaces built for brothers AND sisters equally, because sisters fight this too and get told its a mans problem

Everything is built around one central idea: tawbah, not shame. The shame spiral is what kept me stuck for years and I genuinely believe its what keeps most of us stuck. This is the tool and community I wish someone handed me back when I thought I was the only one

Its free, its private, and its made by someone from inside this fight, not a company that found a market if that means anything to you.

📱 iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/hayaa-islamic-sobriety/id6783464307

🤖 Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.hayaa.app

Screenshot below. And whether you download it or not, make dua for this project, thats worth more then any install wallah. Thank you guys I love you all

https://preview.redd.it/2hrzykxhsdjh1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=a2ce7b0c98b0daaeda29332b5ab021001908543d

Hey everyone, just want to say I've been in recovery for a long time and I just want to name the pattern that kept me stuck for years, because ngl I see it in literally almost all the posts in this subreddit

The relapse happens and then comes the self hate ritual, the disgust, calling yourself weak, the "im disgusting how do I even face myself." And then we begin to think that that hatred is proof we're serious about quitting when its the exact opposite.

That shame builds pressure for days, and then this addiction acts as the relief for the exact pressure you built. So in simple terms, the punishment and shame you gave yourself after relapse 1 is directly fueling relapse 2. The cycle isnt sin then repent then sin, its sin then SHAME then sin, and I think most people are stuck in it for years thinking that more hatred is the answer when I really don't think it is.

The way out of it is so simple too its just hard with all the emotion tied into it. After you slip up, forgive yourself, take ONE lesson from it (what time was it, where were you, whats the fix), then close the case and move like its closed.

If youre stuck in this loop right now, my DMs are open, no judgment fr. Goodluck

Salaam everyone, just want to say I've been in recovery for a long time and I just want to name the pattern that kept me stuck for years, because ngl I see it in literally almost all the posts in this subreddit

The relapse happens and then comes the self hate ritual, the disgust, calling yourself weak, the "im disgusting how do I even face Allah." And then we begin to think that that hatred is proof we're serious about quitting when its the exact opposite.

That shame builds pressure for days, and then this addiction acts as the relief for the exact pressure you built. So in simple terms, the punishment and shame you gave yourself after relapse 1 is directly fueling relapse 2. The cycle isnt sin then repent then sin, its sin then SHAME then sin, and I think most people are stuck in it for years thinking that more hatred is the answer when I really don't think it is.

The way out of it is so simple too its just hard with all the emotion tied into it. After you slip up, make tawbah, take ONE lesson from it (what time was it, where were you, whats the fix), then close the case and move like its closed. Allah has closed it and forgiven you, now its your turn.

If youre stuck in this loop right now, my DMs are open, no judgment wallah. Jazakallah kheir

Salaam everyone, just want to say I've been in recovery for a long time and I just want to name the pattern that kept me stuck for years, because ngl I see it in literally almost all the posts in this subreddit

The relapse happens and then comes the self hate ritual, the disgust, calling yourself weak, the "im disgusting how do I even face Allah." And then we begin to think that that hatred is proof we're serious about quitting when its the exact opposite.

That shame builds pressure for days, and then this addiction acts as the relief for the exact pressure you built. So in simple terms, the punishment and shame you gave yourself after relapse 1 is directly fueling relapse 2. The cycle isnt sin then repent then sin, its sin then SHAME then sin, and I think most people are stuck in it for years thinking that more hatred is the answer when I really don't think it is.

The way out of it is so simple too its just hard with all the emotion tied into it. After you slip up, make tawbah, take ONE lesson from it (what time was it, where were you, whats the fix), then close the case and move like its closed. Allah has closed it and forgiven you, now its your turn.

If youre stuck in this loop right now, my DMs are open, no judgment wallah. Jazakallah kheir

Salaam everyone, I've been in this fight a long time, relapsed more times then I can even count, and alhamdulillah I got to the other side of it. A few things I wish someone had made me realize early on:

Your relapse never happens at your relapse. It happens an hour earlier when youre bored, alone, your phones in your hand, etc... Point being, make sure your setup is top notch.

Shame is not taqwa. Feeling disgusting after a fall isnt doing you any good and its not what Allah swt wants. Tawbah means to return, not to self shame.

Your willpower is a battery not a personality trait. It will die at 1am at exactly the time you need it. Your environment beats discipline/willpower every single time

And the biggest one I believe in honestly is that secrecy is half this addictions power. Every guy I know who actually got free had one thing in common, at some point they stopped fighting completely alone and found someone to talk to this about

That last one is why im writing this. If youre in this fight and you have nobody, no brother who knows, nobody to talk to on the bad nights, my DMs are genuinely open. Not selling anything, no judgment, just a brother whos been in it. Sisters welcome too, ill point you to properly moderated spaces

May Allah free us all from this. Jazakallah

Salaam everyone, I've been in this fight a long time, relapsed more times then I can even count, and alhamdulillah I got to the other side of it. A few things I wish someone had made me realize early on:

Your relapse never happens at your relapse. It happens an hour earlier when youre bored, alone, your phones in your hand, etc... Point being, make sure your setup is top notch.

Shame is not taqwa. Feeling disgusting after a fall isnt doing you any good and its not what Allah swt wants. Tawbah means to return, not to self shame.

Your willpower is a battery not a personality trait. It will die at 1am at exactly the time you need it. Your environment beats discipline/willpower every single time

And the biggest one I believe in honestly is that secrecy is half this addictions power. Every guy I know who actually got free had one thing in common, at some point they stopped fighting completely alone and found someone to talk to this about

That last one is why im writing this. If youre in this fight and you have nobody, no brother who knows, nobody to talk to on the bad nights, my DMs are genuinely open. Not selling anything, no judgment, just a brother whos been in it. Sisters welcome too, ill point you to properly moderated spaces

May Allah free us all from this. Jazakallah

Something clicked for me a while back and I want to put it here because I think a lot of us are living this contradiction

We treat lowering the gaze like an outside activity. At the store, at the gym, walking past someone, we fight the 2 second glance and feel like we won something. Then we come home, close the door, and give our eyes an unlimited buffet for an hour with zero resistance

That isn't you lowering your gaze, thats relocating it

Lowering your gaze is much more than just your eyes, but an eye you discipline at home barely even struggles outside, the public glances lose their pull on their own

Do you guys agree?

Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. For me there wasnt one big dramatic moment, it was just a slow build of being tired. Tired of the secrecy, tired of telling yourself last time and knowing it wasnt, tired of feeling like two different people.

For me the turning point wasnt even a specific slip. It was noticing how much space this was taking up in my head on a totally normal day when nothing was even wrong. That was the part that got me, that it had a grip on me even on the good days.

Im curious what it was for you. Not the whole story if you dont want to get into it, just the moment or the feeling that made you go ok, im actually done playing around now. I think sometimes reading someone elses reason reminds you of your own on the days its hard to remember.

Ill be around in the comments.

"Tell one person" is the most repeated advice in recovery for a reason — it takes more power away from this habit than almost anything else. But people freeze on how. Here's the practical version.

Who it can be

A trusted friend, an older brother or sister figure, a cousin, a mentor, someone from the masjid you trust, or another person in recovery you meet in a space like this. It does not have to be someone nearby, and it does not have to be someone who knows your full identity.

Our one hard rule: same gender

Brothers partner with brothers. Sisters partner with sisters. No cross-gender accountability pairs, and no cross-gender DMs off posts here. That's not sexist— it protects the space and protects you, given what we're all working on.

What to actually share

You don't have to narrate everything. A simple rhythm works:

• A quick daily or every-few-days check: "clean today" or "struggled today, still standing."
• An honest heads-up when you slip.
• If you use an accountability app, they're the person who gets your reports.

The goal isn't surveillance. It's that the secrecy is broken and someone is in it with you so shame is no longer lurking in the closet.

How to ask someone (it feels scary; it's usually fine)

You don't have to confess your whole history. Try:

>"I'm working on breaking a habit and I do way better when someone checks in on me. Would you be up for me texting you a quick honest update a few times a week? No big commitment on your end."

Most decent people say yes and never make it weird.

If you genuinely have no one

That happens, especially when this is buried in shame. Two options:

1. An accountability partner from an anonymous recovery community — plenty of people here are looking for the same thing. Keep it same-gender and anonymous.
2. A paid accountability app where the "partner" role can be a coach or trusted contact.

Start with anyone. The first person is the hardest and the most important.

Looking for a partner right now? Comment below (same gender, no identifying details) or watch for the mods' partner thread. We'll help you get matched.

This is the guide I wish I'd had. It starts with the one principle that decides whether any tool works for you, then gives you a free setup you can do tonight and a rundown of the paid options.

The one principle: NEVER hold your own keys

A blocker you can switch off in ten seconds when the urge hits is not a blocker — it's a speed bump. The entire point of any tool here is to put friction and another human between you and the habit in the moment your judgment is worst. That means the password or PIN is held by someone else, or is at least is a real big pain to undo. Two kinds of tools do this, and the strongest setups use both:

• Accountability tools quietly let a trusted person see your activity (or get an alert). The accountability is the active ingredient — knowing someone will see is what stops the 2am decision.
• Blockers / filters stop the content at the device or network level so it never loads. Best as the wall around the accountability, not a replacement — a determined person can route around a pure blocker, which is exactly why the human layer matters.

🆓 Free setup — do this tonight (before you pay for anything)

Your own phone already has most of what you need. The trick is handing the passcode to someone else.

iPhone:

1. Settings → Screen Time → turn it on.
2. Content & Privacy Restrictions → on → Content Restrictions → Web Content → Limit Adult Websites.
3. Set a Screen Time passcode — and have someone you trust type it in so you don't know it. That one step is the whole difference. (Menu names shift slightly between iOS versions, but it's all under Screen Time.)

Android:

• Google Family Link can filter and lock settings when someone else manages the account. Digital Wellbeing and Play Store content restrictions help too. Same rule: someone else holds the PIN, I cannot stress this enough.

Your home wifi / router:

• Many routers, plus free DNS filters like NextDNS or CleanBrowsing (both have free tiers), can block adult content for every device on the network at once. Set it up and lock the router admin password away.

The oldest trick that still works that you should all be doing:

• Don't bring the phone to bed. Charge it in another room overnight. Most relapses happen alone at night, and you can't out-discipline a screen on your pillow at 1am.

💳 Paid tools people commonly use

Confirm current price and device support on each tool's own site before paying — these change.

• Covenant Eyes — accountability-first, long-established; monitors activity and reports to a partner. Phone + computer.
• Ever Accountable — accountability monitoring + blocking, reports to a partner. Phone + desktop.
• Canopy — AI content filter/blocker.
• BlockerX — popular blocker in recovery communities; free tier + paid. Phone + desktop.
• Net Nanny / Bark — filtering + monitoring, family-marketed but work for this.

I'm deliberately not crowning a "best one." The best tool is the one you'll actually keep on, that fits your devices and budget, and that someone else controls. Pick one accountability tool and one blocker, hand the keys to your one person, and you're already ahead of where most people ever get.

On cost: if money's tight, the free phone + router + "someone else holds the passcode" setup genuinely gets you most of the way. Don't let "I can't afford the paid one" become the reason you do nothing tonight.

Share your setup in the comments so others can copy what worked for you. Real setups from real people beat any list.

A lot of shame comes from thinking "if I just wanted it badly enough, I'd stop." Understanding what's actually happening under the hood takes a surprising amount of that shame away. Here's the plain version.

Your brain runs on prediction and reward

Every time the habit delivered a hit, your brain tagged the whole setup around it — the time of night, the boredom, the phone in your hand, the room — as "this leads to reward." Do that enough times and the brain starts firing the craving automatically when those cues appear. That's why the urge can feel like it comes from outside you. In a sense it does: it's an old prediction firing on schedule.

This is why willpower alone loses

Willpower is you fighting that prediction in real time, at the exact moment your brain is screaming for the reward and your self-control is most drained (usually late at night). You'll win sometimes and lose sometimes, and every loss feels like proof you're weak. You're not weak — you picked the hardest possible place to fight. The winning move is to not fight there. Change the cues instead: no phone in bed, a blocker you don't control, something to do the second the urge hits.

Urges peak and pass

An urge is not a straight line that climbs until you give in. It's a wave. It rises, peaks, and falls on its own — usually within about 15 minutes — if you don't act on it. Riding out that wave once teaches your brain that the craving doesn't have to be obeyed. Ride it out enough times and the waves get smaller and less frequent. This is the actual mechanism of recovery, and it applies to almost any urge or addiction.

"Reset," not "ruined"

When people relapse they often binge, because the day already feels ruined. But one slip is one data point. The binge is what actually sets you back, and the shame spiral is what drives the binge. Learning to reset the same day — head up, no spiral — is one of the highest-leverage skills in all of this.

Want the practical version of all this? → First 72 Hours and Urge Right Now

If you're new and overwhelmed, read this first. These are the questions that come up over and over. There's no shame in any of them — most of us asked every single one.

"Is it too late for me? I've been doing this for years."

No. If it were truly too late, the guilt would have died a long time ago and you wouldn't be here reading this. The fact that it still bothers you is proof that something in you never accepted it. A long history usually doesn't mean you're broken — it means you never had a plan that actually fit you, only willpower. And willpower alone fails almost everyone.

"Is this a real addiction, or am I just weak?"

You're not weak, and this isn't a willpower test you keep failing. A habit like this trains your brain over time to expect a certain reward at certain triggers, and then the craving fires on schedule whether you want it to or not. That's not an excuse — it's the opposite. It means the problem is a pattern you can work on, not a verdict on your character.

"Is it haram? What does Islam say about it?"

This community doesn't give rulings, and neither will the mods. For anything halal/haram or a fatwa, please ask a qualified scholar you trust. What we do here is the recovery side — the practical and emotional work of putting it down — for people who already want to stop.

"I keep relapsing. What's wrong with me?"

Nothing. Recovery is never linear. Almost nobody goes from a long habit straight to zero in a clean line — the real path has slips in it. The people who make it aren't the ones who never fall. They're the ones who get back up faster each time and don't let one slip become a week. A relapse is one data point, not a verdict.

"How do I even start?"

Two boring things first, before anything fancy:

1. Change your environment so the habit isn't six inches from your face. That mostly means your phone. → Blockers & Apps guide
2. Tell one person. The secrecy is half of this thing's power. → Accountability Partners guide

That's it for day one. The First 72 Hours guide walks you through the rest.

"How long until it gets easier?"

It's different for everyone, so don't anchor on a magic number you'll feel like a failure for missing. What most people notice: the early days are the hardest — cravings are sharp and frequent — and over the following weeks they get less frequent and easier to ride out. You'll still have hard days deep in. That's normal, not backsliding.

"Can women deal with this too? I feel like the only one."

Yes — and you are far from the only one. It was never only a men's problem. The research is clear, and so is every anonymous community out there: a lot of sisters are fighting this quietly. This sub has a Sisters flair and sisters moderating that space for exactly this reason.

"Do I have to make this public? I don't want anyone knowing."

No. Everything here is anonymous and meant to stay that way. Don't post identifying details. Even "telling one person" can be an accountability partner you've never met. You never have to attach your name or face to any of this.

"Is a community enough, or should I see a professional?"

If this is tangled up with depression, trauma, or thoughts of harming yourself, please talk to a professional — none of us here are a substitute for that. See Crisis Resources. A community is powerful for the day-to-day, but it isn't therapy, and there's no shame in getting real help.

Didn't see your question? Ask it in the comments. Odds are ten other people were wondering the same thing and were too scared to type it.