Well this hit today. Temporary PFA from my ex. A list of allegations that I have to now defend. I will be able to but not can’t see or speak to my kids for 10 days. This is killing me.
My STBXW and I are having a contentious divorce. I wanted to reconcile after separating, found out she had pretty much planned out her exit. 8 weeks after separation she was sleeping with a new guy. My kids found out (even longer story) and it’s gotten ugly. She’s dug her feet in so hard and became angry and vindictive now.
For a bit I was actually doing okay because I was so pissed. Now I’m regressing and just so sad. My wife is the most beautiful woman on earth and I can’t stand the thought of her with another man. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, there was a lot she didn’t do well and she felt I didn’t do well but man when we were good it was great.
Now I’m just hitting a point of almost depression. Forcing myself to get out and do things and stay active. The legal fight is in the early stages and is ugly as hell.
I just wish this could all end and we could find each other in love again but I don’t think that’s ever possible for her now.
My STBXW has throw out two separate proposals for support and alimony. One last Friday that I said no to then on Monday she was angry and increased it 50%! She said “ya know what, X sounds more appropriate per month now”.
I’m fighting for 50/50 custody and our state uses a standard formula for child support.
She continued tonight trying to get a number from me verbally and she’s saying that it will save us from domestic relations, as if it’s some big boogeyman.
I refuse to discuss any of this without my attorney. I remain calm and polite. The calmer I am the more she seems to lose it.
Is this a tactic taught somewhere? I can’t be the only one to deal with this
It took a while but man I don’t want my wife back anymore. She two weeks ago. Found out she’s been sleeping with another guy over a month now. She’s stonewalling and gone cold. She threw out her requests yesterday. I was mind blown. The child support and alimony she wants is insane. She’s refusing to budge on custody. And she’s let her new relationship with this guy effect our kids.
This isn’t even all of the BS she’s pulled. Now I just want to go cold and crush her in court. But it’s going to be costly.
My wife stopped wearing her ring two weekends ago. We’d been separated 9 weeks at that point. I was in the process of buying a house because she said it was done. I’d heard rumors she started dating.
This past Friday I closed on the house and moved my stuff out of the marital home. On Saturday I get a call that she was out at an event all day and all evening with her new boyfriend, flaunting around town. I didn’t even have our kids. It was her weekend. She left them with her mom and never let me talk to them or know. We were supposed to have first right of refusal. The whole thing just sucks and I’m hit with this full flood of emotion and then today I see that she officially filed. It’s on the prothonotary website. I lost the battle
My wife of 10 years kicked me out in May and filed for divorce this week. She’s done. She and her best friend and her new boyfriend decided our marriage was over. Not my choice at all. I love my wife and our kids and wish we could fix it.
How do you handle the stuff? Wedding photos. Family photos? All of that. Do you keep any of those up at your house for the kids or is it a dad and kids only place?
My wife and I have been separated 11 weeks now. It hasn’t gotten any better. This past weekend she stopped wearing her ring. It was my Friday to Sunday with the kids. She was at an event Friday with her bff who hates me and a man that I’ve been told has been pursuing her (and the bff encourages). She missed our son’s baseball game for this. Sunday she shows up to the next game with no ring and couldn’t have been more cold and distant. I don’t know if she slept with this man or if nothing has happened, but she’s different now. Last night I saw the kids at another sports event and they said their grandma (wife’s mom) was telling them that “it’s okay to have divorced parents, lots of kids do and are totally normal”. My wife also sat the kids down and told them that we’re getting divorced.
I haven’t been served yet but I’m sure it’s coming in the next few days.
Update: received a text this morning from a friend asking if I knew she’s been with a new guy. Apparently it’s been going on a few weeks now.
My wife and I have been separated almost 3 months. Nothing filed. I’m buying a house because she’s insistent on it and that I won’t be coming home soon. I still get mail at the marital house as I’m crashing with family right now and haven’t legally changed this. She saw a letter relating to the home purchase. Thinks I’m hiding money. I’m not, I work in the bank system, know all the laws and spoke to my lawyer first. She asked me to talk about it then just kept saying “we need our lawyers for this”. She’s made up her mind and won’t talk. It was kind of a breaking point for me. The person I married isn’t here anymore. She was the kindest, sweetest human ever until a few months ago. I just don’t know her anymore.
My STBXW is trying to take my kids for 80/20 custody. We live in PA, have homes 0.8 miles apart in the same town and neighborhood.
I have a great, flexible day time job. I coach everything, am involved in school and everything.
Has anyone been in this situation where their wife tried to take the kids and you were able to get 50/50?
I’m new to this. Is it possible to manifest back a separated spouse? She kicked me out 9 weeks ago, has not filed anything yet, but isn’t open to reconciliation yet. She previously called me low vibration (I had a string of bad luck with health issues) but have been in therapy and doing better.
I don’t know if anyone has stayed here after successfully reconciling, but if you have been separated and successfully come back together with your spouse I’d love to hear your story.
End of April my wife asked for a separation. I’ve had cancer, her dad passed, then I almost died from a pulmonary embolism. Lots of shit in a few short years. We have 3 kids and life hasn’t been easy. Neither of us were the best spouse and we didn’t hear or support each other in the ways we each needed.
I’m willing to fix everything. All I want to do is work on it. She continues to hand me boxes of my stuff, moving out furniture we purchased together, not allowing me enough time with the kids, everything. It’s wrecking my mental health. She also doesn’t work right now so bills are crazy. I have zero dollars left at the end of each month. When we’re together and one house things are fine.
She recently completed a personal trainer certificate she started months ago and claimed it was “for our families health and maybe some online coaching”. She is now saying she’s going to get a job at a local gym ran by two brothers. One brother is a known whore that preys on women. Unhappy marriage, husband not flirting with her, it doesn’t matter what, he finds a hole and weasels in. He’s a master at it, known for it and it still keeps happening.
I’m so fucking afraid that she’s either already fucking this guy or will start to.
All I want is my life back. I want to wake up next to my wife and in the same home as my kids. I want to be the best husband I can be and grow together as a family. She’s angry and shut off and not open to it. I haven’t filed for divorce because I love her. She hasn’t filed that I know of. I haven’t changed direct deposit or any pay because I don’t want her to see that as a reason to file or say I’m trying to hurt her and she leaves. All of it scares me so bad. I know I’m being taken advantage of, I know she’s dangling me along and probably will divorce me no matter what, I’m just holding on to any semblance of hope for my family and my life.
If it wasn’t for my kids I worry I would’ve done something drastic already.
My wife and I have been separated since end of April. I want to fix it, so far she doesn’t.
This weekend when I had the kids she spent half of Saturday texting me, accusing me of having an affair, wanting answers and going on.
Today I reach back out to ask her about a man I know is pursing her, because my wife’s best friend has been telling everyone. All she says is “No. Please leave me alone”.
So this of course leads me to believe that she’s been seeing this guy or at least talking to him, hence why she’s now accusing me of this.
How do you deal with your spouse dating during separation? I’m trying to mentally prepare.
For context, I am not certain my wife is seeing anyone, but she’s never NOT with her phone now. Sneaking away for a bit here or there and since it’s a small town I’ve heard some rumors. I pray she’s not dating anyone, but I know at some point she will.
How did you deal with it? Especially if you didn’t want the separation/divorce
I’m just here to vent. I (39m) was asked for separation by my wife (36f) 2 months ago. She has consulted with a divorce attorney and given a retainer. At first it was just that she wanted a separation and not a divorce. But the longer we’ve been apart the more she tells me that she doesn’t see a path back, that things are too far gone. I have not been able to see my kids as much as I like and she’s used my housing situation against me. Since I’m lucky in my career I was able to purchase a house (offer accepted Saturday) and hope to close sometime in July. She’s still angry. She’s taken two fights over 12 years and made them sound like they were every single day. She’s taken every failure I’ve had as fixing something around the house and blown it into the biggest issues.
All of this and still nothing that I want more than to go home. Neither of us have cheated (that I know of and I don’t believe she would) but things haven’t always been perfect. Marriage is hard. I’m still here every day praying that she can be open to trying again. I guess there probably aren’t people here who made it back after a time apart or they probably left this sub. But I’m hoping that someone can tell me I’m not crazy for praying and wanting this so bad.
My wife kicked me out two months ago. Will barely let me see my kids and is now angry at me for all these things at the house that she blames me for. Even though I’m not there to work on any of it.
Today she asked me to come and get rid of our bed that she HAD to have years ago. She told me that it takes up too much space. I get there to move it out and find that she’s bought a new frame that is a King. Our last bed was a Queen. She just refuses to be reasonable and keeps changing goalposts. It’s frustrating.
I want her back but she’s being wild to me. If she says one thing and I do she then changes it to something else.
I put in an offer on a house today - at my wife’s urging. She’s not open to working on us and said she “doesn’t see a way back”. Which is crazy to me but that’s another story.
I’m going to be buying four mattresses. Any advice on some decent but affordable ones from Amazon? I’m thinking about the mattress in a box.
Hopefully this will help things out and I’ll get to see my kids more often.
My wife (35f) kicked me (37m) out 7 weeks ago. It wasn’t my choice, she said she wanted a separation for “space and time to think” not a divorce.
Her best friend HATES me and the last 7 weeks have been hell. She won’t do anything without our kids unless her best friend is involved (camping, SxS, swimming) because she’s trying to win the kids over.
My kids are furious. They both say they hate her and that she’s being mean, angry and unreasonable. I can’t stand this.
I was NOT a perfect husband but she was no prize of a wife. She withheld affection throughout our time together as a punishment, which led to me being angry, which led to her withholding. It was a terrible cycle. And nobody ever won. It was all dumb.
I’m just so lost. And sad. And mournful.