u/MoreCaterpillar8586

How do you build self worth and esteem and confidence after you’ve spent your entire life people pleasing, choosing people who needed more help than the average person so you could be useful and feel needed. And only used validation from others up to this point. I feel like a blank slate. Like I know I’m not but I’m incredibly sensitive to criticism and rejection and I’m in a very low place right now. So I’m trying to figure out how to establish my own foundation of self

My best friend just suddenly discarded me. She told me that apparently she realized after our trip to New York that I have certain behaviors that make her feel like I don’t value her opinion and that I always think I know everything. I profusely apologized and begged her to explain and give me a chance to fix things. She had never said anything to me before about this and she went on to say things about were different races and I could never understand her life. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Truly. I would never in a million years intentionally do anything to hurt her. In any way. I’m completely blindsided and it didn’t even sound like her speaking to me.

How am I supposed to go forward and like….try to be better if I don’t even understand what I was doing wrong. How am I supposed to be reconcile that she thinks I hurt her but I never intended to. And that she has in turn hurt me by just ending our friendship without warning?

I’m so confused and hurt. I was perfectly willing to take accountability for anything that I did wrong and do whatever I could to fix it. But the things she said were so insane like I can’t imagine where they even came from. She has literally said so many things that are the opposite of everything she accused me of. The entire time I was being told things that made me believe I was a good friend to her. So I don’t understand.

Hi, I am here for the season working and I’m trying to extend my stay by one more month but I’m struggling to find a rental. Does anyone know of one? I’ve reached out to many but no one replies to me

im looking for someone to help me fix my current resume and possibly write a few different copies for different job searches. im looking for someone with solid experience and credentials, where is the best place to find someone to do this? does anyone know an app or website?

I see videos online all the time of people who dance in studios and in groups outside, go to the gym and train in plyometics to improve their dancing and athleticism, and are creative and expressive people overall and collaborate with others often. This is the kind of place i want to be. I want to meet new friends who share similar interests and that i can learn from. Im 31 single no kids and where i live is such an indivdualistic and gatekeeping vibe, everyone is trying to look mysterious and talented and not intersted in making new friends and sharing things. Does anyone know of communities that are like this? not just "california", but specific places. any help is appreciated thanks. this could be anywhere in the world btw, im english speaking only but willing to have new experienes and learn other cultures as well as long as i can get by with english. thanks

If the people in your life consistently do not show up for you in the same way you for for them, even in the most simple, common sense, low effort ways, when you have consistently gone out of your way to be a good friend to them, to help them when they need it in various ways giving my time my energy my physical labor, emotional labor, etc. and they do not do the same or seem to have a very limited capacity to even try, how am I supposed to go forward without being bitter? I understand that everyone has their own problems and capacity, i understand that not everyone is as considerate as I am and that I need to be discerning with whom I give that to, but if you can pretty much find no one to do that what do you do? I’m learning to be more self reliant while also trying to be understanding of others, but I’m really struggling at this point. There are just so few excuses for these people’s behavior. I’m angry and I’m exhausted.