u/MostCommunication972

Is it just more, or are NGOs intentionally hiring more women so that a typical office experience is at least 65% women? I know kale kale is predominantly men, but panopa zawonjeza. Za gender equality zasiya kuwoneka. They are overcorrecting.

I am 33M, and for most of my dating life, I have always valued my friends' opinions heavily. For instance, before committing to a woman, I would check how my friends felt about her. I believed this could help me notice things that were in my blind spot. Similarly, I would also consult them when an issue or crisis arose. I figured that before making a decision, I should get multiple perspectives.

Last year, I broke up with my ex (35F, 3-year relationship) two days before my birthday. TLDR: I emotionally cheated in August 2024 (texts), and she physically cheated two weeks later, but chose to tell me two days before my birthday (January 2025) in a bid to rebuild the relationship on honesty. I could not handle it, and I was hurting. I couldn't decide whether to go back because I still loved her. I asked my friends, and most said to cut my losses. So I did.

Fast forward to July 2025, a friend recommends a woman (30F), and we hit it off. Most of my friends approved. Admittedly, I wanted to be single for the next two years, but one thing led to another, and we became official in August 2025 (ironic, right?). We are still together as of writing this post. I noticed that I am not opening up to her. This set off alarm bells. My current GF ticks the boxes, but why am I resisting being vulnerable with her? Lately, she noticed it and brought it up (story for another day).

Over the weekend, I had a conversation with a friend about this, and he pointed out that I let my friends' opinions dictate my dating life more than other areas of my life. Now I'm thinking: if I never talked to my friends, I might have gone back to my ex or never started this new relationship.

I'm at a crossroads, wondering if my issues with vulnerability with my current GF are because I haven't moved on yet, even though I ended the previous relationship. A move which now I feel (in retrospect) was heavily influenced by my friends' advice to 'not take back a woman who physically cheated.' Their input on that situation was important since I loved my ex, which would have blindsided me. But at the same time, I really want to give the new girl a proper chance, whereby I let down my walls.

To what degree should I allow my friends to influence my dating life? Should I stop talking about relationship issues with my friends?

I've opened a simple excel file with 2000 rows max and about 100 columns. When I running a simple filter function (crtl + shift + L), the CPU usage goes from 1% to 100% and RAM from 300MB to 3GB. The system I'm using a Lenovo T14 5th Intel Core Gen Ultra 5 16GB RAM (also running on AC power with the BEST Performance preset). The file has no queries or connections. Just a simple xlookup formula for one column that pulls a result from another sheet that has 26 rows with 3 columns.

I'm puzzled why this is happening. Any pointers or remedies?